Tamika
My face is swollen, sunken into the middle of my pillow, with huge, badly bruised knots. Everything hurts. My body is fucking aching. At first, I couldn’t feel—the adrenaline had me numb.
But now?
My body is throbbing like it’s keeping score. Damn, my cheeks have swollen. My ribs ache when I breathe. The back of my head feels like somebody cracked it open and stitched it shut with fire.
Rhy and Calvin both fucked me up. I’ll never admit that out loud—but she did. And for that alone? We’re running it back. She caught me off guard.
I heard she threw hands with a few bitches behind Chaun-Cey. I didn’t think I’d be one of them. I had to let Rhy know she doesn’t have Chaun-Cey like she thinks she does.
May the best bitch win. I’m willing to bet I’ll be that bitch in the end. And I don’t lose. Especially after everything I’ve been through.
Calvin… that’s different.
I saw something in his eyes last night. Something unhinged. He kept hitting me even after I stopped fighting back—I really thought I wasn’t walking out of there.
Two near-death experiences in twenty-four hours.
That’s wild.
First, the shoot-out. Then Calvin.
And somehow, I’m still here. I wish I were strong enough to make it to my bathroom for at least a hot bath, but I can’t. I need something really potent to take this pain away. Every time I think about yesterday’s shoot-out, tears start to form in the corners of my eyes.
I can’t believe Chaun-Cey’s niggas tried me, like I’m that type of girl who would do something that crazy. Like, I set him up. That’s what really got me heated. I might be messy. I might play both sides. But I would never line Chaun-Cey up to die.
Never.
I love Chaun-Cey, despite how he feels about me. The last thing I want is for anyone to think I had anything to do with the attempt on his life.
I closed my eyes and replayed yesterday in my head.
The clinic.
The parking lot.
That car that had been sitting a little too long across the street.
Chaun-Cey didn’t say anything when we left my house. He would’ve clocked it if anything felt off. But after we left the clinic?
His energy shifted.
And that girl.
Kori.
She was looking at me funny when we walked in. Like she knew something.
I should’ve said more when Simmy and the rest of those niggas came to question me. I should’ve told them everything. But why would I? Once I give them everything, what am I good for?
They don’t protect me.
They don’t even respect me.
True wanted to kill me himself; I felt it coming. I learned a long time ago not to push True. It’s been a minute since I last laid eyes on True. I forgot how fine True was.
I used to deal with True first until he couldn’t be honest about his dealings with Amirya. I only started fucking with Chaun-Cey to get a reaction from True, but I never got one.
Now I’m everybody’s punching bag. Rhy swings on me. Calvin loses his damn mind. True smacks me around like I’m disposable.
I’m tired of that.
True acts as if it never happened, but we did. True was doing the fucking most. I’m sure True could already see my face was fucked up from Rhy and Calvin, and he just added to it.
Thank God Simmy and Coop were with him; I couldn’t imagine what would’ve happened if I had been left alone with him.
I hope they find the young niggas who did this to Chaun-Cey, but I have a feeling this has something to do with Kori at the abortion clinic. Who is she?
I stare at my ceiling.
If word gets out that I was in that car when Chaun-Cey got shot, I’ve gotten myself exposed. The niggas who did it might double back to clean up loose ends.
And I don’t even own a gun.
That’s ridiculous.
My phone started ringing. It’s my girl Teiara calling. I don’t feel like talking, but I answer anyway. Besides, I need to crash at her house for a few days, at least until this shit blows over.
Until this cools off.
Because one thing I do know?
This shit ain’t over.
And when Chaun-Cey wakes up, the whole city gon’ shift.
I need to make sure I’m standing in the right place when it happens.
“Hello.”
Damn, even saying that hurts. My jaw feels cracked. I can’t wait until Chaun-Cey pulls through so I can tell him how True handled me after I gave him some information to get at the niggas who did this to him.
“Tamika, I’ve been calling you since yesterday.”
Teiara and Lillian have been calling me nonstop. I was supposed to contact them as soon as I got home, but Calvin’s crazy ass showed up. Can I use this as a reason to break my lease? I can’t stay here after what Calvin did to me. It won’t hurt to try.
“I know it’s a lot going on. I’ve been meaning to call you back, but I haven’t had the time.”
“Friend, I heard what happened to Chauncey and saw his truck on the news.”
Teiara—”
Teiara cut me off.
“I knew you were with him yesterday. I watched you leave with him. Please tell me you weren’t with Chauncey when it happened.”
I pause just long enough.
“I was.”
Let her sit in that.
Let her feel it.
Because technically? It’s the truth.
I feel responsible for this because I lied to get Chaun-Cey to come to my house. I would never admit this to Chaun-Cey’s niggas. Simmy thinks I had something to do with it. I will never forget how he looked at me when he arrived on the scene.
“Gosh, we have been praying that nothing happened to you while you were with him.”
“So much shit happened,” I whisper, letting my voice crack a little. Not fake. Just enhanced.
“Like what? You should’ve called us to let us know you were okay. I called the hospital, and you weren’t listed, which made it even worse. We started to go to the hospital but decided not to because I’m sure there were already a lot of people out there.”
“I wish y’all had come. Everything happened so fast. I have so much to tell you.”
I give her the version that benefits me.
The shoot-out.
The chaos.
I want to avoid being caught up in the middle of this situation.
I leave out the lie about pregnancy. I leave out Calvin. I leave out how Simmy looked at me like I was disposable.
I’m laying it on really thick with Teiara because I know she’ll run this little bit of info back to Rhy. Clock this tea, bitch.
“She made you lose your baby, Tamika.”
Pause.
Let her lean in.
Let silence speak for me.
Because silence spreads faster than words.
“Yes, girl, she was so mad I was there. There were a few other hoes out there as well,” but she didn’t say shit to them. “She singled me out because it was obvious I was with him.”
That part stings a little.
“Say less. Rhy will have to see me about this.”
“Me too… It’s not over.”
“We were just planning your baby shower.”
“I know.”
I don’t even flinch.
“May I crash at your place for a few days?”
“Of course.”
“Do you want me to pick you up?”
“Yes, please.”
Click…
I stare at the ceiling. That’s how you move pieces.
I’m sure Teaira will drop that tea on the streets fast. I’m in pain, but I need to pack my shit and get out of here fast. Now the streets gon’ start whispering that Rhy made me lose my baby. Doesn’t matter if it’s true. It just needs to breathe.
I grab my phone again.
Might as well poke the bear.
Me-
I’ve always been a good friend to you. You didn’t have to treat me the way you did this morning in front of Simmy and Coop.
True-
Good friends don’t fuck my right-hand man, hoe.
Fuck, True… Yes, I fucked Chaun-Cey, and I don’t regret it. The only thing I regret is not letting True’s bitch know I fucked her man. I’ve got proof. It’s still not too late. I still have a few flicks on my phone of True hitting me from behind.
My phone alerts me to a text.
My YN-
You better not mention my fucking name. The only reason I didn’t dead yo ass is that I like the way you suck my dick. I like fucking you whenever I can.
Oh shit, it was him. I quickly removed this message from my phone and blocked his number.