Rhyan
The room is still. Not loud, not chaotic—just still. I’m stretched out across the bed, staring at the ceiling, replaying everything—every word, every look, every moment that should’ve been the last … but wasn’t.
My body is finally still, but my mind?
Running.
No matter how far I push him, I can still feel him. That energy. Heavy. Familiar. Pulling at me in a way I haven’t felt in a long time. And I hate that I recognize it.
“Him…” I whisper, barely audible, because that version of Chauncey—the one that sounded real—I ain’t seen him in years.
My chest tightens again, but I don’t fight it this time. I just lie there… feeling it. And that’s when my phone rings. I glance over slowly.
Unknown number.
My brows pull together. For a second, I almost let it ring out—but something in me, that same feeling I’ve been trying to ignore, makes me reach for it anyway. I know it’s him. I feel it in my bones.
“Hello?”
Silence.
Then—
“Rhy…” My whole body goes still because I know that voice. Even when it’s tired. Even when it’s low. Even when I don’t want to hear it.
“…Chauncey?”
“Yeah,” he says, softer now. Not pressing. Not sharp. Just… there.
I sit up slowly, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, already feeling my guard start to rise again.
“How did you get this number?” I ask. I meant to ask him this previously.
“Don’t worry about that,” he murmurs. “I just needed to talk to you.”
I briefly close my eyes.
Of course, he did.
“You always need to talk after everything is already fucked up,” I reply, voice steady—but not as cold as before.
He lets out a breath on the other end. “I ain’t calling to argue. I just need a moment of your time.”
Chauncey paused for a beat. What’s next?
Then—“Come back to the hospital.”
My heart stutters—and I hate that it does.
“…what?”
“Just for a minute,” he adds quickly, as if he knows I’m about to shut it down. “I ain’t asking for nothing else. I just… I need to see you.”
Silence stretches between us because I’m now sitting there—phone pressed to my ear, heart pulling one way, mind the other. And I already know… whatever I say next? It’s gonna matter.
Silence stretches between us.
“Rhy, you hear me?”
I exhale slowly, steadying myself. “I’m not coming back to the hospital, Chauncey. You don’t get to push me away and then ask me to return. What would I even be coming back for?”
“I told you earlier—I want to right my wrongs with you, and I mean that shit.”
I shake my head, even though he can’t see me. “Why now?”
“Why not now?” he shoots back, his voice low but firm. “I told you I’m coming for you.”
I let that sit for a second before answering, because he doesn’t get to rush this. “Actions speak louder than words. You gotta show me something different—something to believe in. The shit that happened the other day? You tried me… and I don’t like that.”
“I’m sorry,” he says, his voice low, stripped of its usual edge. “You might not believe me—but I am.”
A pause.
“Just… hear me out.”
I don’t say anything, but I don’t hang up.
“That shit you were saying when I was down… it stuck,” he continues. “You planted seeds, Rhy. And I heard you. Every time you popped off, every time you let your feelings be known—I heard you loud and clear.”
He exhales, heavy.
“And yeah… hearing you talk about fucking another nigga? That shit hurt me. I ain’t even gon’ lie. I’m still fucked up about it.”
Another pause.
“But that’s some shit I gotta eat,” he adds, his voice tightening. “Because everything ain’t on you—it’s on me. I’m the reason we’re even here.”
That’s real, and it lands heavy.
“I don’t want us to stay here, though,” he says, softer now. “I know we ain’t finna fix everything overnight. I ain’t asking for that.”
Chauncey catches a beat. “I’m just asking you… Don’t give up on us overnight.”
“It’s hard not to give up, Chauncey,” I say, my voice steady—but heavy. “You haven’t given me a reason to keep fighting.” I pause, swallowing past the tightness in my chest. “I never wanted to walk away from you… But you pushed me there, one too many times.”
A breath leaves me slow. “The hoes… and this last stunt you pulled—I don’t even wanna speak on it, because it’ll just piss me off all over again.”
Silence lingers, but I keep going. “We don’t have to be together. You can be single. It’s really okay.”
That part hurts more than anything else I’ve said. “Maybe we just need to go our separate ways,” I say, quieter now. “Because we keep hurting each other… and I don’t wanna keep doing that.”
“Come see me, Rhy.”
“I’m not.”
A beat passes, then his voice comes back—lower this time. “I need to see you face to face.”
I don’t respond.
“I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t want us anymore,” he adds. “Because I don’t believe this shit over the phone.”
My grip tightens around it.
“I don’t want to be single,” he continues. “I don’t want nobody else. I want my wife.”
That word lands heavier than it should. “Walking away? That shit is easy,” he says. “Niggas do that every day.”
What the fuck is he pausing for?
“But I ain’t never walking away from us.”
Silence stretches again, thick now. “I know you’re running out of chances with me,” he admits, his voice rougher. “I know I used damn near all of them.”
Another fucking pause.
“But I’m asking you…” His voice dips—real this time. “Just give me one more.”
“It’s late. I’m not coming back out.”
“I can have security come get you… bring you to me.”
“I’m good, Chauncey. Right where I am.”
I paused for a moment because we both know that’s not the truth.
“You’re not good,” he says. “Because I’m not.”
I close my eyes for a second to steady myself before I speak. “Listen… we’ve been apart for a year. When I stepped back into this city, I didn’t know what to expect—but I came anyway, despite my doubts.”
My voice stays even, but it’s heavier now.
“The reaction I got from you? I expected that. But what I didn’t expect… was everything that came after.”
I shake my head slightly. “I’m not even about to sit here and go back over that.”
I had to catch my breath before I popped off. I’m tired. “We’ve been doing this for too long, Chauncey. At some point, we both have to figure out if this is really what we want.”
Silence stretches, but I don’t let him break it.
“We could stay on this phone all night… but I’m not.”
That’s where my tone shifts—firmer now.
“All I’m saying is—actions speak louder than words. Show me something different.”
A pause.
“And if you can’t?” I swallow, pushing past the feeling rising in my chest. “It’s cool. I’mma move around.”
Click.
I lower the phone slowly, staring at the screen for a moment before setting it down beside me.
“I’m not doing this with Chauncey…” I murmur to myself.
And that’s the truth. As bad as I wanna run back to him… I won’t. I love Chauncey. But it’s time for him to stand on business.