Chapter 36 #2
The staring. The texting. The dancing. The song. All of it has been driving me crazy for hours.
And honestly?
I didn’t give a fuck about the ring on her finger right now. Not in this room. Not yet. Because until she looked me in my face and told me otherwise, some selfish part of me still felt like she was mine.
I pressed my forehead against hers slowly until our eyes locked.
And that’s when I saw it.
The tears. One slid down her cheek first. Then another.
Fuck.
Instantly, my whole demeanor softened. I leaned forward and kissed her tears away one by one, holding her face carefully in my hands.
“Why are you crying, Rhy?” I asked quietly.
“Because it’s hard,” she sniffled softly.
Whew.
“What’s hard?”
Her breathing trembled while more tears slid down her face. “What I’m about to say.”
Damn.
The room went quiet for a second outside of her shaky breathing.
I stared at her for a long moment before finally swallowing hard and nodding once.
“Say it.”
“I love you, Kosh.”
The words finally broke free through her tears.
“I swear to God I do…”
Whew.
Silence swallowed the room after that. The music behind the walls faded to muffled bass as I stared at her, trying to process hearing the woman I loved confess it to me while breaking my heart.
Damn.
“I love you too, Rhy,” I admitted quietly.
Because there was no point pretending otherwise now.
Not in this room. Not with tears running down both our faces. Not when my heart was sitting damn near outside my chest already.
“But if you love me…” My voice got rougher toward the end. “Why are you leaving me?”
That question visibly hurt her. And somehow? That hurt me even worse.
“It’s not easy leaving you,” she whispered softly.
“But you are leaving, right?”
Silence.
Then finally: “Yes.”
Fuck.
I looked away for a second and clenched my jaw hard, trying to hold myself together because hearing the confirmation out loud felt completely different from suspecting it all night.
This shit is real now.
“So, how did we get here?” I finally asked quietly.
“It’s complicated.”
Whew.
“Fill me in.”
She shook her head instantly. “I can’t.”
“Why not?” My voice stayed calm, but my chest was burning now. “This past year meant a lot to me, Rhy.” And I needed her to understand that.
“More than you probably ever knew.” I swallowed hard before continuing. “If somebody told me a year ago, I’d be standing here feeling like this over anybody…” I laughed painfully under my breath. “I wouldn’t have believed them.”
Because before her? Everything was surface-level. Fun. Money. Women. Motion. Then Rhy happened.
“But here we are.”
The tears kept sliding quietly down her cheeks while I stared at her, trying to memorize every part of her before she slipped away for good.
“I wouldn’t trade this past year for anything,” I admitted honestly. “Not one day.”
Whew.
“I cherished every day and every night I spent with you.”
And the crazy part? That wasn’t even me trying to make her stay anymore. That was me grieving her while she was still standing in front of me.
“Kosh…”
Rhy’s voice trembled so bad it damn near cracked something open inside me. Tears kept sliding down her cheeks while I held her waist, trying not to fall apart in front of her.
“What we have is real.”
Whew.
I closed my eyes briefly because hearing her say that out loud somehow made this hurt even worse. Because now there was no escaping it. This wasn’t some rebound. It wasn’t convenient.
It wasn’t loneliness.
What we built together was real.
“And just because I’m choosing my marriage and trying to reconcile with my husband…” Her voice cracked hard enough to make my chest tighten instantly. “That doesn’t mean I love you any less.”
Fuck.
That pain hit different because I believed her.
Every word.
“It doesn’t mean I stopped loving you either,” she whispered softly. “Because I still love you.”
Lord.
The room went so quiet after that I could hear her shaky breathing mixing with the muffled bass vibrating through the walls outside my office.
“And that’s not something that’s just gonna disappear overnight.”
I stared down at her, trying to process how somebody could love you deeply and still leave anyway. That type of pain humbles a man in a different way.
“We crossed paths for a reason,” she continued quietly. “I really believe that.”
So, do I.
Because before Rhy? I wasn’t even looking for anything serious. Then, somehow, this woman walked into my life, emotionally wrecked, and still managed to change mine in the process.
“I appreciate how patient you were with me.”
Whew.
“How gentle you were with me.”
That one almost took me out completely because, truthfully, I handled Rhy carefully on purpose. I knew she was healing from something deeper than heartbreak.
She was trying to find herself again. Somewhere between giving her space to heal and loving her through it, I fell harder than I ever intended to.
“And attentive.”
I laughed quietly under my breath, but there was no humor in it.
Because loving Rhy came naturally. Paying attention to her came naturally. Knowing when she was overwhelmed. Knowing when she needed affection. Knowing when she needed silence. Knowing when she was pretending to be okay.
All that shit became second nature to me. And standing here now, realizing I was about to lose her anyway?
Yeah… this shit hurt bad.
“I’m hurting, Kosh,” she cried softly. “Because I know I hurt you, and that’s something I never wanted to do.”
Whew. “I don’t hurt people.”
And the crazy part?
I believed her.
Because Rhy never moved maliciously. Even now, she was still trying to protect mine the best way she knew how.
“I couldn’t leave you without an explanation,” she continued through tears. “You deserve more than that from me.”
Fuck. I lifted my hand and wiped her tears away gently with my thumb before they could keep falling.
“Stop crying, Rhy.” My voice softened automatically. “We good.”
Were we?
Probably not. But I couldn’t stand seeing her cry like this.
“Yeah, this hurts,” I admitted honestly. “But I always wanted you to keep it real with me.”
And she did. That’s what made this goodbye hurt worse. Because there were no lies to hide behind.
“I knew this shit was bound to happen eventually.” I laughed quietly under my breath, but it sounded broken even to me. “He would’ve been stupid to let you get away.”
Whew.
And honestly? That wasn’t hate-talking. That was the truth. Because any man lucky enough to experience Rhy fully would fight like hell not to lose her.
“I want you to be happy,” I admitted quietly. “Even if it’s not with me.” Saying that shit out loud nearly cracked my chest open.“But I want that for you.”
Her crying softened slightly while she stared up at me through wet lashes.
“I want you to know your worth,” I continued softly. “And if shit ain’t what it seems…” I swallowed hard. “Choose you every time.”
“I will,” she sniffled quietly.
Whew.
I cupped the bottom of her face carefully and kissed her. And Lord… she kissed me back instantly.
No hesitation. No confusion. No pretending. Just one last kiss between two people who loved each other and knew it still wasn’t enough to stop what was happening.
Neither one of us broke the kiss at first. I could feel the goodbye sitting inside it.
The grief. The gratitude. The unfinished love. Everything we couldn’t fix with words. Eventually, I pulled back slowly and looked at her one more time, trying to memorize every detail before life carried us in different directions.
“Come on,” I muttered quietly. “Let me get you outta here.”
I walked Rhy through Clovers one last time and out toward the valet. The night air hit us instantly, cooler now and quieter somehow.
When her Maybach pulled up, I pulled her into my chest and held her as tight as I could for a few final seconds.
Damn. I didn’t wanna let go. But I did anyway. I kissed her forehead softly before stepping back.
“Be safe, Rhy.”
Whew.
“And take care of yourself.”
“I will.”
And just like that… I stood there watching the woman I loved pull away from the valet and disappear into the Dallas night.