21. Amberlee
Chapter 21
Amberlee
I ’m going to die! My brother is at my door, so is the man I just lost my virginity to, and oh yeah, fucking everyone else on this trip. Maddy’s got a shit-eating grin on her face as she moves her eyes between us.
She knows!
Which means it’s only a matter of time before Ryan does, too. Maybe we should just fucking tell him now instead of waiting. He may be pissed and want to kill Jeremiah, but I won’t have this secret suffocating the life out of me as it squeezes my heart.
Ryan cocks his head to the side, looking at me oddly, his eyebrow raised. “You okay, Sis? You seem flustered.”
“N..n..no. I’m good. Just tired,” I stammer. “All I wanted to do was stay in bed and sleep, but you wouldn’t let me.” I lift my hand, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear.
“I’m hungry, let’s go,” Maddy speaks up, slipping her hand over my shoulder, leading me toward the elevator.
I can hear my brother’s voice in the background, but my brain is so rattled, I can’t make out a word he’s saying. It’s like an irritating gnat in my ear.
“Girl, I want all the details,” she leans in close and whispers.
“What details? What are you talking about?” I act dumb when I know perfectly well what she means.
“You can play coy all you want, but you’re going to give me all the juicy details. Be sure to talk to your brother before he finds out on his own.”
“I—”
Maddy holds up her hand. “Shh. I don’t want to hear it. Not now. Not unless you want your brother to find out in this hallway.”
When I look over my shoulder, I see Ryan, Jeremiah, and the kids heading our way. They’re laughing about something, and my heart melts at the sight of him holding his daughter’s hand.
God, I love this man.
Maddy pushes the button. We stand there, side by side, waiting for the doors to open. I rock back and forth on my heels, wishing I was anywhere but here. This is the most awkward feeling I’ve ever felt in my life.
It seems like an eternity before the doors slide open and we step inside. I squeeze myself into the corner, trying to make myself as small as possible.
It doesn’t work.
“Amberlee, seriously, what’s with you today?” He turns to Jeremiah, shooting him a suspicious glance. There is a tense silence before he speaks again.
“Did something happen last night?”
Jeremiah doesn’t even flinch. Not like I would’ve if he asked me.
“Nah, we went out and had a good time. I mean, she did drink a little too much, and that’s my fault, but I made sure she drank a lot of water before going to bed.” He shoots me a knowing look, and I have to fight not to blush like a tomato.
Somehow, I manage.
Lord, if I can’t handle my brother like this, how am I going to ever tell him the truth?Jeremiah shrugs. “I bet our Amberlee is just hung over today.”
Ryan takes a closer look at me, and I force an awkward smile at Jeremiah.
“Humm. After you eat, maybe you should go back to bed. I wouldn’t want you to get too much sun today. We were talking to the kids about the zoo and thought we’d go today.”
I want to jump for joy, but I rein it in. “Yeah. I think I will stay back in my room and rest. But y’all have fun and get me a souvenir.”
Ryan’s attention is on me, so he doesn’t see the wink that Jeremiah gives me. But it warms my heart, never the less. Staying behind today is a win-win. I don’t have to worry about how I act in front of Ryan around Jeremiah, and I can get some more sleep.
It’s going to be fine. I can make it through today, and then we’ll be home. The only thing left will be to tell Ryan everything.
Well, maybe not everything. He doesn’t need to know I lost my virginity.
Jeremiah
Maddy has me nervous with the way she keeps looking at me out of the corner of her eye, smiling like the Wicked Witch of the West. It’s all I can do to hold it together. If I had my daughter to focus on, then it would solve everything, but she’s too busy hanging out with RJ as they look at all the animals.
“I don’t want to go back to work on Tuesday.” Ryan steps up beside me, an ice cream cone in hand.
When I look back to check on Angel, I see Maddy handing them both a popsicle.
“Me either. Have you heard anything else about us deploying?” There have been a few hints thrown at us by the commander that a select few from the team may be deployed on a mission. Ryan and I are two of the top candidates on the list.
I never like the idea of deploying or going into the field. Leaving Angel always puts me in a panic. If she had a mother, then it wouldn’t be so bad, but I have to either have my parents or Maddy take care of her. It’s just not the same. She’s uprooted from her normal day-to-day environment and placed somewhere that’s not home for her, for God knows how long.
Suddenly, I feel as if I’m falling, but I’m not. I take a step, catching myself, only to see Ryan laughing as his hand moves away from my arm. The asshole pushed me.
“What the hell, man?” I glare at him, teeth clenched.
“I’m trying to get your attention. I’ve been talking to your ass, but you’ve been zoned out the whole time.”
“Sorry. What did you want?”
“I was saying, I know Maddy would watch Angel if you need her to. Saves having your parents drive all the way here to pick her up. It’s not her own bed, but she does have one at our house.” Ryan gives my shoulder another pat as he smiles over at his wife. His very pregnant wife.
“I don’t want to put her out. Not with her being pregnant and all.”
“Dude. She’s in daycare at the moment, then she’ll be starting school in a couple of weeks. Besides, Amberlee is here to help her if she needs it. I know she wouldn’t mind. She loves kids.” Then, with a devilish grin, he says, “She loves her brother too, and I bet she’d do anything I ask. She did relocate here, didn’t she?”
He’s right. All it took was a little convincing on his part, but she packed up her whole world and moved here. And she did it at his request.
Fuck!
What if he doesn’t want her to date me? If he told her not to do it, would she? All the happiness I had waking up this morning crashes down around me.
“She does do what you want,” I state more than I ask.
“Yep. She was even dating this dickwad her senior year in high school.” He gives me a devious smirk. “I came home one weekend, and the asshole had the nerve to try and grope her ass in front of me. Nope, not on my watch. That was the last day she saw him.”
I cross my arms over my chest, trying to create a barrier to protect myself from the pending heartbreak I’ll feel if he does the same thing now. Not to mention, I can feel my blood pressure rising.
“We should join Maddy and the kids. The train should be here soon to take us back to the shops at the entrance.” He steps away, then stops in his tracks, looking back at me. “Coming, or are you going to move in here with the walrus?”
“No, I’m coming.” I fall in step behind him, following him over to them.
My mind’s firmly focused on the fact that one word from Ryan could ruin everything we have together. Everything that we’re just beginning to build. I have the potential to lose not only the love of my life but my best friend as well.
My head begins to pound. A stabbing pain erupts behind my eyes, and I can feel the migraine coming on. I try to reason that it’s due to the amount of alcohol I consumed last night and the heat of the day, not the stress building.
There’s nothing I want more than the beautiful woman waiting back at the hotel. My future is her, I know it with all of my being. But does she?
Will she have regrets at the last minute and change her mind?
My heart’s racing, and I clutch my chest, rubbing the aching spot that has me feeling as if I’m about to fall to my knees. I’ve got to plaster on a happy face, and get through today. Ryan’s my best friend, and if he thinks something’s wrong, he’s not going to stop prodding until he finds out what it is.
But I need to do something else before I tell him the truth.
I need to talk to Amberlee.