Chapter 40
Chapter Forty
Molly
T en minutes after our little kitchen interlude, I open the front door and am immediately folded into a group hug, surrounded on all sides by my friends. I thought I had cried myself dry last night, but my emotions are still living a little close to the surface because with my friends’ arms around me, I tear up again.
“Thanks for coming,” I manage from the center of our tangle of limbs.
“As if we would be anywhere else. We would have barged in days ago, but Gabe convinced us you needed a little space. You did need a little space, right?” Julie says warily, breaking the hug and giving Gabe a skeptical side-eye.
I laugh and step back to wrap an arm around Gabe’s waist. “Call off the dogs, Jules. He knew what he was talking about.”
“Told you.” Emma elbows Julie in the side. “You can trust him. He’s one of us.”
“I told you too,” Hallie says. “So did your brother. And you know how Ben is about the people he keeps close. Gabe makes the cut, so that means we get to keep him.”
“Do they always talk about people like they’re not standing right in front of them?” Gabe murmurs in my ear, amusement lacing his tone.
I lean up and kiss his cheek. “Get used to it, baby; this is nothing.”
“Baby, huh?”
I shrug and lean closer to him, feel his hand slide up my spine and cup the back of my neck in a possessive way that screams mine . I love it. “Felt right.”
“It sure does.”
“I knew I was right. You were the one we’ve been waiting for.” We all turn to the doorway where Rachel Parker stands, beaming straight at Gabe.
“Mom, you’ve seen them together before. You know what they look like.” Julie walks over to give Rachel a hug.
“I have, but something’s different about today, isn’t it?” Rachel asks, studying Gabe and me.
I consider her question, thinking about my guilt and grief, and the way Gabe helped me through it last night and again this morning. About the way he understands every part of me and how I feel like I don’t have to hide any piece of myself because he wants them all. About my decision to sell the house and the way the word forever settles me right down to my bones.
“Yeah, it sure is,” I respond, and I feel Gabe’s hand tighten on my neck, his body shifting closer to me. I see his smile out of the corner of my eye, and it makes me smile too. “What are you doing here, anyway?”
Rachel gives me a what do you think look. “You’ve been through it, honey. Your man convinced us all to give you a few days of space, but alone time is over. It’s share with your family time now. From the look of you, Gabe has done his job. And now what you need is a donut and some girl time while you tell us where your head is.”
She holds up a bag from our favorite bakery, and my eyes almost fill again because, despite the heaviness of this week, I feel like the luckiest person in the world to be surrounded by these women, who I met at a turning point in my life and who have stuck with me every day since. I think Rachel can see every thought in my head because she hands the bakery bag to Julie and steps forward, wrapping me in a hug.
“We will never not be here when you need us,” she says in a low voice. “I’ll try not to be mad at you for shutting your family out for almost a week.”
I let out a watery laugh, and when we break apart, Gabe kisses the side of my head and whispers, “I’ll give you guys some time alone. I’m going to go call my sisters and bug them for a while. Love you.”
My eyes follow him all the way up the stairs, and when he disappears into the bedroom, Hallie lets out a low whistle. “You have it bad, Mol. It all makes sense now.”
“What does?” I ask, leading everyone to the living room and flopping down on the couch.
“The reason why you haven’t taken a man seriously in ten years,” Emma says.
“No, she wouldn’t have.” Rachel hands me a donut and takes a seat in the chair across from the couch. Emma, Julie, and Hallie crowd onto the couch with me. “It’s always been Gabe for Molly. Anyone with eyes can see it. The same way it was Jeremy for you, Em, and Ben for Hallie. And the same way Jules flicked every man away until Asher showed up. All my girls found their one. It makes me a proud mom to watch you all fall in love with good men and good partners.”
“Yeah,” I sigh, taking the coffee Julie hands me. “He’s been mine since I was eighteen. It was him or no one. I’ve always known, but this last week has made me even more sure of it.”
“Will you tell us about it?” Hallie asks gently. “Where your head has been?”
“We’ve been worried about you.” Emma reaches over and lays a hand on mine. “We’ve all been sad, but it’s been different for you. You shut down in a way none of us have seen before.”
“And that man of yours wouldn’t tell us anything except that he was with you and to give you some time. I’m not sure how I feel about that,” Julie says darkly.
“You feel fine about it,” Rachel says. “He was protecting Molly, and the second he knew she was ready, he told you to come over. That’s a good, loyal man who understands his girl.”
I blow out a breath and lean forward, elbows on my knees, and make eye contact with all four women. My women. Except one is missing. I wonder if the ache from the empty space Allie would have filled will ever really go away.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been a mess.”
Then, with four sets of understanding eyes on me, I tell them everything. About being late to meet Allie and being told she was gone. Telling Jordan and holding him while he broke. The heaviness of the guilt and all the times in my life I’ve felt like too much. Coming here after the bar last night and Gabe coming to find me and deciding to sell my house and move in to his. I talk and I talk and when I’ve finally gotten everything out, my voice is hoarse, and tears track down my friends’ faces.
“I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you,” I finish. “I got in my head and then it became this whole thing. Intellectually, I know I’m not the reason Allie died, but holding onto Jordan and feeling his heart break, watching everyone’s grief and sadness, made it really hard to hold onto that truth.”
I finally stop talking, and the room is silent for a few beats while they absorb everything I just told them.
“Well.” Rachel is the first person to break the silence. “At some point you owe your friends an apology for thinking they would ever walk away from you for any reason, ever. Family sticks, Mol.”
I nod, smiling because this is such a Rachel thing to say, and also something I’m pretty sure she has said to everyone in this group at some point in the last two years.
“But also, you have to know that you are the absolute light of this family, Molly. You bring color and fun and joy to everyone and everything, and none of us would be better off if you made yourself even a little bit less than what you are. And you aren’t the only one who’s sad, Mol. Everyone here lost a friend. Jordan lost his most important person. We all need each other right now, and he needs all of us. That’s the only way we get through this. Together.”
Rachel’s words warm me at the same time as they make me sad again for what we’ve all lost. “That’s exactly what Gabe said.”
“Well of course he did,” Hallie says. “You’re fantastic. And we wouldn’t be the same without you. For fuck’s sake, you cruise directed my entire wedding when my mom was being a jerk about it. You bought us all the right lingerie and the perfect shoes for our dresses and made it beautiful. You make everything beautiful, Molly.”
“And you were Maddy’s first safe person other than Jeremy and me,” Emma says. You took her shopping and came over to wait for the bus in the morning when she was nervous about going to school. You helped her pick out clothes, and colored with her, and brought her out of her shell. You related to her in ways I never could have, and you guys have such a special relationship. It’s been a joy to watch.”
Julie reaches over and takes my hand. “You made our office beautiful when all I cared about were spreadsheets and details. You instituted sexy breakfast stories that gave us a chance to connect with each other, even when work and life were insanely busy, and you’ve taught us to celebrate everything, no matter how small. And don’t forget about the bathing suit you slipped into my suitcase before I left with Asher on our road trip. I’ll always be grateful for that one, and I wish I had a picture of his face when he saw me in that dental floss disguised as a bikini.”
“I think what everyone is saying, Mol, is that we need you. All of us. Just the way you are. Although I could have lived the rest of my life without knowing about the bathing suit.” Rachel pins Julie with a look, but Julie just shrugs.
“Being nosy means that you sometimes learn things you would rather not know. You play, you pay, Mom.”
I laugh and lean back on the couch. “Thank you. All of you. I honestly don’t know what I would do without you. When I first met you, Gabe and I had just ended, and I never thought I would be happy again. But then I found Emma, and you guys found us a couple of days later, and all of a sudden, I had this whole family, and I loved you all so much. You brought me back to life in a way even my actual family couldn’t. I know not everyone gets to have family and friends like this. That what we have is rare and special and meant to be honored. And I guess I just want you to know that I’m so fucking grateful for it. I’m sorry I forgot that for a second.”
“We forgive you,” Julie says, voice rough with emotion for just a second before she smirks at me. “You can make it up to us by giving us more Gabe details and making them sexy.”
I eye Rachel. “I think I’ll pass on the sexy details for now, but I decided to sell my house.”
“Is that so?” Emma says, in her I knew it voice.
“Does this mean you’re going to live together for real?” Hallie asks.
I nod, taking a sip of coffee. “Yeah. This house doesn’t feel like home anymore. I like being with Gabe. His place feels like mine, and I don’t want to be anywhere except where he is.”
“Fuck, Molly. That’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard.” Julie clasps a hand to her chest dramatically and we all laugh. Then she gestures to the ring on my finger. “Is this whole engagement thing still fake? Or have we taken a turn?”
I laugh to myself, thinking of our little conversation in the kitchen earlier. “It’s still fake for now. I mean, I would marry Gabe tomorrow, but he sure as shit better propose for real first. I waited for him for ten goddamn years. I deserve a real proposal.”
“Bet your ass you do,” Julie says, holding up a hand to high-five.
“Oh, you’ll get one,” Rachel says, smiling. “I saw that boy’s face when he looked at you. I’d bet you anything he’s already got something planned.”
I’m just about to respond when my phone beeps and I glance down out of habit, groaning when I see asshole Brad’s name. I open the text and scan it, my anger rising with every word.
“What the actual fuck,” I seethe.
“Uh, anything you want to share?” Julie asks.
“Asshole Brad,” I say through gritted teeth. “A rival lawyer who’s trying to steal my biggest client,” I explain to Rachel.
Hallie groans. “What did he do this time?”
I toss my phone on the table. “Well,” I start, every word laced with fury. “It seems that he convinced his uncle that today is the day they need to execute the family partnership papers. The ones that aren’t finished yet because, you know, my friend fucking died, and I needed an extra couple days. He decided he could finalize those very intricate corporate documents despite the fact that he has absolutely no prior experience and also is just all around fucking stupid. But his uncle is the ultimate man’s man, and if Brad says it’s time, then you better believe Uncle Harvey is going to believe him. And you also better believe that down the line when they find a mistake in the documents, which they absolutely will because, stupid asshole, it’s going to be all, Molly, how could you possibly have let this happen? God fucking dammit.”
I throw myself against the back of the couch, feeling my temper rise, pulsing beneath my skin.
Rachel studies me. “I assume this client and the asshole have done this kind of thing before?”
I let out a short, humorless laugh. “Only once a week or so for the last two months.”
“Plus, the time he cornered you in a restaurant and you ended up with his handprint on your arm. The reason for your whole fake engagement ruse in the first place,” Julie says.
“Huh.” Rachel sits back in her chair, expression contemplative.
I stare at her. “Huh what?”
She shrugs. “It’s just unlike you to take something like this lying down, is all. I mean, I get that he’s your biggest client, but you’re a brilliant lawyer and there are plenty of clients out there. Why haven’t you put this one in his place?”
I consider her words and suddenly, with complete and absolute clarity, I realize she’s right. Adrenaline floods my veins. I shoot up from the couch and start for the front door without saying a word.
“Uh, Molly?” Emma’s voice stops me in my tracks, and I spin back around.
“What?”
“Maybe change first.” Hallie gestures to the neon yellow leggings I’m wearing with a bright pink This is What a Feminist Looks Like sweatshirt while Julie smothers a laugh.
“Right. Clothes first, then taking down the asshole.”
This time, when I whip around and start walking towards the stairs, I run straight into Gabe, who’s on his way to the kitchen.
He takes my elbow and studies my face. “Hey, everything okay?”
“I have literally never been better, but I can’t talk now, Gabe. Gotta go change and see an asshole about a thing.”
Gabe’s eyes flash with a mixture of love and pride that has me standing straighter. With my girls and my guy beside me, I swear I could run through a brick wall right now, Kool-Aid man style. “Is asshole Brad finally getting his?”
I narrow my eyes. “Oh, you better fucking believe he is.”
Gabe leans in and kisses me on the cheek, then steps out of the way.
“Give ‘em hell, baby. Make them regret the day they fucked with Molly Jenkins.”
I tug Gabe in and crash my mouth to his in a quick, hard kiss. “Count on it.”