CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
Riley — 22 years old
The sound of my name on his lips decimates me.
It’s been two years, eleven months and eighteen days since I’ve last heard his voice.
Grayson is still the same, but different somehow.
His hair is still cut short and he’s got at least a few weeks of rough stubble across his jaw. He’s got a mole, right under his right eye. It wasn’t there before. And he’s bulkier now, if that’s even possible.
Grayson looks…older. More mature.
And tired.
There’s misery in his dark eyes. A familiar grief that resonates through me.
I open my mouth to speak, but then close it again. I don’t know what to say. Grayson is right there, standing in front of me, and I’ve waited for this very day for so long. I have so many questions, but now that he’s here…
I don’t know where to start.
I can’t… breathe.
Grayson looks past my shoulders and I know what he’s seeing. Colton and me, together. Him driving me home on his motorbike. We were the perfect image of cozy and intimate. Did Grayson see us flirting earlier? Did he hear ?
His gaze slides back to mine, roving over my face. Grayson studies me closely, and my heart dips into the pit of my stomach. He swallows before speaking again. “Is it alright if we have a talk?” he asks cautiously.
My heart thuds in my chest, painfully.
He’s still so handsome, just as I remember. Looking at him, hearing him speak, having him in front of me— it cuts me deeply. I’m bleeding where they can’t see, right to the depth of my soul. Where the pain of my heartbreak still resides and I’m bitter about it.
From behind me, Colton makes a sound of choked frustration in the back of his throat. “We’re going to be late.” I flinch at the sudden harshness in his voice. “We have a flight to catch.”
I take an instinctive step back, away from Grayson and toward Colton.
“Wait, Riley,” Grayson says, slight panic in his voice. He reaches out, almost like he’s going to touch me. But then he realizes what he’s about to do, and his arm drops back to his side. “I know I never gave you proper closure, but I just want a chance to…explain. I just need a moment of your time. I won’t take more than ten minutes, I promise.”
His promises have all been lies before.
But…
I want to know what he has to say.
Why did he leave? Why did he break my heart? Why did he wait for almost three years before appearing in front of me again?
“Riley,” Colton calls out, in his deep baritone voice.
I can’t seem to tear my eyes away from Grayson’s face. Will he have all the answers to my questions? I’m evidently furious…
And hurt.
I am so confused about my own feelings right now. I can’t possibly think straight.
Standing between Grayson and Colton.
My first love— the man who broke my heart, asking for a chance to explain.
While Colton waits for me to take the leap. Toward him.
Because for two years, he stayed by my side. He kept me safe, protected me and had always dropped everything to come to my rescue. Colton has been there every time I needed him, even when I tried to deny his help. He became my shadow and stayed with me. Without asking anything else in return. I know how he feels.
I know what he wants.
But…
I just can’t seem to walk away from Grayson.
I need answers.
I need to know the truth.
Or else I’ll never be able to move on with my life. I’ll always wonder: why ?
I shift and face Colton. He’s straddling his bike, but he removed his helmet. His expression is thunderous and he glares at Grayson.
When he notices my attention on him, he reaches his arm out. “Let’s go.”
I don’t take his hand.
Giving him a tight smile, I whisper, “I’ll call you later.”
His arm drops.
My heart stammers.
His face twitches with a flinch and there’s a flash of pain in his eyes, before it’s quickly gone. I blink and wonder if I imagined it. A cold mask of indifference slams over his expression. Colton doesn’t speak another word.
A sharp pain pierces through my sternum.
He puts on his helmet, starts the engine and then he’s gone, disappearing into the night.
I swallow my hurt and turn to face Grayson. Now that we’re alone, he can talk. He can tell his side of the story. But why does he look as miserable as I feel on the inside, now that he’s in front of me and I’m reminded of every emotional wound he’s given me.
Grayson clears his throat nervously. “You look good, healthy.” His eyes sweep over my body. “Still as beautiful as I remember. Your hair is lighter though.”
“Why are you here?” I ask shakily. I don’t want the pleasantries; I don’t want his sweet words, and I can’t bear the tender look he has in his eyes when he looks at me.
I can’t risk falling for him again.
But it’s impossible not to stumble and fall…when you have a man like Grayson looking at you as if you are carrying the moon in the palms of your hands.
His throat bobs with a hard swallow. “Lila told me you were back in town, I wanted to see you.”
When did he meet Lila? Why is he meeting with Lila?
But that’s not important right now.
He wanted to see me?
After almost three years. After breaking my heart and leaving me with no closure?
He wants to see me now ?
It feels like I’ve been punched in the gut. His words tear through my soul, ripping through my freshly-healed wounds until I’m bleeding again. For him.
“It wasn’t easy for me to get over you, Grayson. You can’t just walk back into my life, when I’m finally ready to move on.” I shake my head, frustrated tears burning the back of my eyes. “That’s not fair.”
I advance toward him, until we’re close enough that I can feel the warmth emanating from his body. Familiar warmth that used to make me feel safe.
I stab a finger into his chest and I feel his heartbeat under my fingertip. The steady beat of his heart that I used to listen and fall asleep to. “I waited for you. I gave you time. More than enough time, actually. Years, Grayson. Not weeks or months, I gave you years to come back and give me an explanation. But now you decide to come back?” I growl furiously. “I’ve picked up the broken pieces already, Grayson.”
That’s a lie.
I’m still picking up the pieces.
His lies and deceit have caused me to fear the idea of love. I’m scared of trusting another man with my heart because of him.
I’m still broken…
Though, I’ve hid it well.
“Give me a chance to stay,” he begs.
“What happens when you leave again?” I croak quietly, my words all choked up.
His eyes darken with agony. “I won’t.”
Shaking my head, a bittersweet smile ghosts my lips. “You broke us. I don’t think I have the strength to trust you again.” To love you again…