Chapter 15
Kodi
This is absolutely insane, but it’s the only thing I can think of to really get her to understand the gravity of my feelings. Why I mean it when I tell her this is forever. Why I love that she’s strong enough to handle me.
There’s no great time to tell the person you’re dating that you’re a polar bear shifter, and that they’re the one person in the universe fated to be yours by the Moon Goddess.
We’re on our way to the ice rink. No one should be there because they don’t have practice again until tomorrow.
My thoughts are running wild. I can only hope I’m making the right decision by telling her now.
I wanted to wait a little while before telling her I can turn into a polar bear, but it’s hard not being able to be bare in front of her without having to explain my knot.
Not being able to give myself to her when she thinks I’ve rejected her because she doesn’t understand what us having sex means.
She deserves to know. To be prepared or . . . fuck, I really hope she doesn’t reject me. I don’t know how I’ll be able to take it if she looks at me with fear or disgust. My insides twist and churn at the thought.
The air in the truck is thick with tension. My hand is resting on her thigh but we’re both wound tight, our muscles coiled and ready for flight mode if necessary.
When I pull my truck into a spot in the empty parking lot, she lets me help her from her seat. We walk inside hand in hand, the tingles trickling across my skin from our mate bond.
“Why are we here?” she asks quietly.
Replying honestly, I tell her, “I thought you’d like to be somewhere you’re comfortable, but it's also selfishly a good place for me too.”
I try to offer her a crooked grin, but it doesn’t make her eyes sparkle like usual. She’s as much lost in her thoughts and worries as I am. What does she have to be worried over?
Come on, Kodi. You have to do this.
She leads me into the rink, the scent of the engineered ice filling the space around us. “Is there a way for you to lock the doors?”
She raises a single eyebrow at me, her arms crossed in front of her.
“To make sure we’re not . . . interrupted,” I explain.
She nods, moving to lock each set of doors, her lips thinned and eyebrows creased.
She’s doing as I ask, but she’s still incredibly suspicious.
I suppose I am acting weird for a human.
With the final set of doors locked she returns to where I stand on the ice, eyes cataloguing every detail.
“Well?” she prompts me, time giving way to nerves.
Searching my brain for the right words, I find none. “I don’t know how to tell you this . . . I love you. I’m crazy about you. It’s definitely not that I don’t want you. I want you so bad it hurts, but you have to know everything about me first.”
Her eyes widen in panic, and her breath quickens in fear, worry written all over her features, but I force myself to continue.
“Fuck, how do I even say this. There’s no course on telling a human they’re your mate,” I bark under my breath.
Her eyes widen. “What?”
“Shit, you weren’t supposed to hear me. I don’t know how to say this,” I say, waving my hands in front of me.
I take a moment to push my hair back out of my face, hoping it’ll give me time to organize my thoughts in the process.
“You know what, I’m just going to tell you.
Please don’t hate me.” I implore her with my eyes, hoping they help the situation.
Before I can change my mind, I blurt, “I can change into a polar bear and you’re my soul mate and I know it sounds crazy but it’s true.”
Panting, with fear coursing through me from saying those words out loud, I squeeze my eyes shut waiting for her response. When one doesn’t come, I crack an eye open and she’s looking at me like I grew a giant unibrow. I don’t say anything, and she just bursts into laughter.
That can’t be a good sign. My bear huffs his agreement.
“Kodi, do you have a fever? Are you drunk?” She approaches me with her hand outstretched like she wants to feel my forehead.
I shake my head and snatch her hand out of the air, wrapping it in mine. “Those tingles racing up your arm right now, that’s our bond. Have you noticed that I smell like gingerbread? Because you smell like orange cinnamon rolls.”
She freezes, her mouth opening partially as her eyes watch where our hands are still connected.
“Does your heart rate pick up when we’re near each other and the tingles go away the second we’re no longer touching?” I pull my hand away to emphasize the point.
Her once again panicked eyes meet mine. She visibly swallows and her eyebrows pull together. “And the . . . polar bear?”
Relaxing the worry that must be all over my face, I offer her a half-hearted smile. “Please don’t be afraid of me.”
Taking two large steps away from her, I strip out of my clothes, leaving my boxer briefs on so I don’t have to explain my knot before I show her my bear.
She watches intently, not saying a thing. I’m sure she still thinks I’ve either lost my mind or am running a too-high fever.
I close my eyes to center myself. When I open them, I look straight into her eyes as I shift.
My body bows and arches, stretches and snaps, as I grow fur and my skeleton is realigned to that of a larger-than-normal polar bear and my briefs are shredded from my body.
My eyes never once leave hers. I watch as morbid curiosity gives way to a sliver of fear, then confusion, and a pained expression, likely caused by the sounds that come with the process.
Her features settle into a mild confusion with her jaw hanging slight open, and a tiny bit of . . . wonder?
I snort to get her attention, get her to say anything. Her head tilts to the side and she takes a tentative step toward me. I don’t take a step to meet her as I don’t want her to retreat. I choose to extend my snout toward her instead.
With another cautious step, she lifts her hand and rests it on the end of my nose, the prickles of our mate bond even more intense in my soul’s most natural form. She gasps at the contact, retracting her hand and holding it against her chest.
I make a small chuffing sound, hoping to calm her.
It seems to work, her shoulders dropping a fraction with the relaxation of her muscles.
She extends her hand once more, but before she reaches me, I choose to throw caution to the wind and be the silly guy she knows, licking her hand and up a bit of her arm.
“Kodi!” she shrieks at me, shaking her arm in an attempt to fling the drool off.
Fuck, she tastes good. An unexpected purr escapes me. She stills once more, the bear slobber on her hand forgotten.
Her warm eyes meet mine. “Did you just purr at me?”
Yes. Yes, I did. But you can’t hear me yet until we solidify our bond. I settle for an enthusiastic nod.
She slowly approaches me but doesn’t stop at my head, she walks around me. Assessing me. While she does, I plop onto my back haunches, sitting while she continues her perusal of my polar bear.
When she returns to stand in front of me, she takes my massive head in her hands and brings our foreheads together. “Is this real?” The breath of her whisper tickles my fur.
Since she can’t hear through our bond yet, I decide to purr again, on purpose this time. She seemed to like it before.
When she pulls away, her eyes brighten like a lightbulb had gone off in her head. “You’re a polar bear. A polar bear stuck in Arizona.” She barks a small laugh. “The ice! Is that why you were laying on the ice that day?”
With another overly enthusiastic nod, I amble my large body past her, careful not to bump into her and slide across the ice flat on my belly. The striking chill of the ice barely able to be felt in my bear form between the fur and blubber separating me from the full effect I get in my human form.
Her giggles bubble around me as I scoot back around to see her smiling at me. “Yep, it’s definitely you. I can see the resemblance now.”
In an effort to keep the smile on her face, I roll over onto my back, waving at her with my massive paw.
She shyly waves back, like she still doesn’t believe this.
I get it; I can’t imagine it’s easy to understand, coming from living a human life to finding out your boyfriend can turn into a polar bear.
And that’s before I tell her about werewolves, other shifters, witches, vampires, and professional sports.
After scootching myself back over to where she stands on the ice, she runs her fingers through the fur on the top of my head, scratching between my ears and making me purr again.
We stay like that for a while, just absorbing this moment with each other when she leans away from me slightly.
“We should probably go before we get caught.” She makes a good point, but I still huff at having to leave the peaceful moment.
“And we’ve got some talking to do, which is kind of hard when you’re a bear,” she continues.
Standing to my full height, she gapes up at me with stars in her eyes as I shift back into my human form. Her attention is drawn to my length that I’m trying very hard to keep under control but won’t be able to if she keeps looking at me like that.
“What’s that?” she asks pointing to the fleshy ring around the base of my cock.
“My knot.” I supply frankly to see if she realizes what I’m talking about.
Her forehead wrinkles in thought. “Like a dog? Like when they get stuck together in the park?”
A laugh roars from my throat. “Yes, like that. It can only be given to our mate and while nature’s intention is for it to help conceive, I’ve heard it’s very pleasurable to be knotted,” I say in a low voice.
Her scent spikes a musky tone, and I lose control of keeping my dick soft.
“Later, beautiful. The last thing we need is to get caught out here.”
She snaps her jaw shut and her eyes dart around in realization that we are still in public, in her ice rink.
We scurry back to my clothes. Pulling my shorts on over my semi-hard shaft without boxers on is not what I had on my shit-to-do list today, but here we are.