Chapter 10
hey’d somehow convinced Neel to tag along to Durban. Anni said it was so she and Shona could get to know him better, but he knew they just needed a driver because they’d talked about having lunchtime cocktails in the city.
Neel kept quiet, hands on the wheel, ears half-tuned. Their conversation bounced between music, fashion, TV shows and old school crushes. He caught bits and pieces, enough to smile at the banter. Every now and then, something made him want to laugh out loud, but he kept it to himself.
‘I would’ve loved for you to come in and see my shop, Natara, but now that I’ve taken the day off, I just don’t want to go in, you know?’ Shona said.
‘No problem. Maybe another time,’ his sister replied.
‘Or maybe you’ll get a chance to shop there for your own wedding outfit when you marry Gavin,’ Anni teased.
Natara rolled her eyes. ‘Let’s not start that again.’
They’d moved on to talking about a designer who’d just re-emerged after years off the radar.
‘I actually got an email from his team the other day. They want me to model for his first show in Miami,’ Kaavi said casually, like it was no big deal.
‘Wow, that’s amazing. You’re so lucky,’ Natara said.
‘Did you reply?’ Shona asked.
‘Not yet. I’ll probably reply today,’ Kaavi said.
Neel’s grip on the steering wheel tightened.
So that was it. Kaavi was going to Miami. Back to modelling. Back to everything she’d stepped away from. And in two days, he’d be flying back to Jo’burg, alone.
He didn’t say a word, but as they took the off-ramp entering Durban, it hit him: Kaavi wasn’t coming back with him. She was going back to her old life.
Kaavi noticed Neel had slipped deeper into his usual quiet self. He was always the observer, the people-watcher, but this was different.
Since they’d walked into the mall nearly an hour ago, he hadn’t said much at all. She figured it was probably boring for him, trailing behind as they darted from shop to shop, holding up traditional outfits. Still, there was something else in his silence today. Something heavier.
She slowed her pace, letting the others drift ahead.
Falling in beside him, she asked softly, ‘You okay?’
Neel gave a quick nod.
‘You sure?’
Another nod, this time slower. Kaavi didn’t push.
She followed the others into another shop and Neel trailed behind her.
‘You have to try this on, Kaavi. This is so your colour,’ Anni said, picking up an outfit. It was a teal lehenga, the skirt flowy and with a matching blouse.
‘I don’t know if it’s me,’ Kaavi said uncomfortably.
Shona picked up on her tone and her discomfort, and quickly said, ‘Anni, why don’t you take Natara over there? Wasn’t Natara looking for something blue? It looks like there’s a whole range of blue outfits there.’
Anni nodded and she and Natara walked to the far corner of the shop.
Shona moved closer to Kaavi. ‘What’s going on? Are you okay?’
‘I don’t know, Sho. I really don’t. I mean, I’m buying an outfit for Diwali. I don’t even know where I’ll be for Diwali. My mother says we should celebrate because it’s Diwali. But what would people think? My father just died.’
Shona sighed. ‘Okay, listen Kaavi. I know the relationship you had with your father and I know you’ve never had a single happy Diwali with him.
At least, that’s what Sen told me. Maybe you owe it to yourself to celebrate.
As for not knowing where you’ll be, only you can answer that.
We can’t tell you what to do – as much as I want to. ’
‘Tell me what to do,’ Kaavi pleaded under her breath.
Shona giggled, whispering, ‘I can’t tell you what to do, Kaavi.’
‘Please, okay, hypothetically, if you were in my situation, what would you do?’
Shona leaned in closer, her hand on Kaavi’s shoulder. ‘I’d go to Neel. I’d go back to Johannesburg with him. We’ll always be here. Rally will always be here. But if I were you, I’d go back to my husband – because Kaavi, you love him.’
Kaavi bit back tears. ‘I know, but all of this is happening, and I really …’
‘I know.’
‘Hey, I found one!’ Natara called.
Kaavi and Shona looked up.
‘Coming,’ Shona said, then rubbed Kaavi’s arm. ‘It’ll be okay.’
Kaavi walked slowly towards the others. She wasn’t ready to try on anything, not yet. But she looked over her shoulder at Neel, who stood just outside the entrance leaning against the shopfront with his hands in his pockets, waiting.
He just looked at her, expressionless.
They got back to Rally later that afternoon after having lunch in Umhlanga.
Neel couldn’t help but notice that everyone except Kaavi had found their Diwali outfit.
Even Natara. She was practically bouncing, thrilled about her new outfit and the simple joy of a girls’ day out, even though he had technically been there too.
He dropped Kaavi off. Anni and Shona said they’d hang around with her for a bit before heading home.
Natara and Neel went back to The Grand Meyer.
Natara said she was going to nap, but he knew her better than that.
She was probably already on the phone with his mother, giving a full breakdown of the day.
Neel went to his room, took a long shower and sat in front of his laptop to catch up on work. Emails had piled up while he was away, but after a few minutes of scrolling, he realised he wasn’t reading anything.
His mind had drifted.
He shut the laptop.
A walk would be better.
He grabbed his phone and left his room, heading towards Kaavi’s apartment. He wasn’t sure if Anni and Shona would still be there, but even if they were, it was a chance he was willing to take.
Kaavi opened the door and when she saw it was Neel, she forced herself to sound casual.
‘Hey, what’s up?
‘Hey. Nothing much. I was taking a walk and figured I’d stop by, see what you were up to.’
‘I was deciding what to get for supper. Although I’m not really hungry because we had such a big lunch today,’ she said, stepping aside to let him in.
Neel walked in and dropped onto the couch. Kaavi was already in her pyjamas – a strappy top and shorts. He was in gym shorts and a T-shirt.
‘I noticed you didn’t buy anything today,’ Neel said.
‘Yeah … I have a lot of clothes I’ve picked up over the years. I think I’ll just wear something I already have.’
‘For Diwali?’ Neel asked, a little surprised. The women in his life always made a thing of getting something new for the festival.
She just nodded. There was a pause, then Kaavi added, ‘Okay, can I be honest, Neel?’
‘Obviously. You can always be honest with me. What’s going on?’
‘I don’t know about Diwali,’ she said, shifting a little.
‘My mother called the other day. Traditionally, since my father just died, we’re not supposed to celebrate, but there’s nothing traditional about us, if you get what I’m saying.
I mean, we didn’t even do any of the rituals. So it’s just confusing.’
Neel leaned back. ‘I get it, Kaavi, I do. And that’s probably why you’re feeling so pressured?’
‘No,’ she said quickly. ‘No, I’m not pressured to do anything. I’m just …’ She paused. ‘Not pressured. Just confused.’
‘Did you reply to that email from the designer?’ Neel asked. He hadn’t meant to bring it up, but he desperately wanted to know.
‘No, not yet. I’ll do it later,’ Kaavi said casually.
Neel sat back. He couldn’t believe how calm she was about it. So casual. Like it was just another task on a to-do list. Like it didn’t mean she was leaving.
He looked at her, beautiful, barefoot Kaavi in pyjamas, and felt that familiar weight settle in his chest. He had one full day left with her. Tomorrow. Thursday. His flight was at ten on Friday morning.
Then he’d be back in Jo’burg.
Would the divorce papers be signed? He didn’t know.
Was this the moment to bring it up? Probably not.
‘Do you feel like eating?’ Kaavi asked, cutting through his thoughts.
‘Not really. Lunch was pretty heavy.’
‘Okay,’ she said, studying him for a beat. ‘What do you want to do?’ Her tone was playful. She gave him that sly look.
But Neel didn’t answer right away. He just smiled and leaned back, sinking into the couch.
She was right. The chemistry was still there, but that alone wouldn’t carry them through this. It wouldn’t make up for all the questions left hanging.
There had to be more between them. He believed there was more.
But belief only counted for so much, especially when Kaavi was still leaving.
Different paths. Different cities.
Yes, different places, different lives.
Kaavi sat at the centre island in her grandfather’s kitchen, eating yogurt straight from the tub.
Aunty Morgie, the housekeeper, was out shopping when she’d dropped by earlier, so her grandfather decided he would make himself a snack.
Kaavi was no help at all: she just sat there while he made a sandwich.
‘How are things between you and Neel?’ the old man asked casually.
‘It’s okay,’ she said, lying through her teeth. She didn’t know how to explain it.
Last night had been strange. Neel had left after a string of awkward silences. No touching. He sat on the couch. She sat in the armchair. They avoided eye contact.
Today was the last day she had with him before he flew back to Jo’burg. Instead of being with him at his hotel or her place, she was here, sitting with her grandfather.
Her grandmother had died before Kaavi was born, so visits here had always meant just him and Aunty Morgie.
But on Sundays and special occasions, the place came alive.
Her aunt and uncle, sometimes even neighbours and random visitors popped by, because, in Rally, her grandfather was more than just family, he was the town’s patriarch.
If memory served, he’d even been the mayor for a short stint – although she couldn’t remember the details. Sen had mentioned it once or twice.
‘Does that mean you’re all packed to go?’ he asked suddenly.
‘Go where?’
‘With Neel. Back to Jo’burg.’
Kaavi shook her head. ‘He hasn’t asked me, Granddad.’
‘Oh dear. You two are so silly.’
He sat down beside her, shaking his head.