Chapter 11
aavi pressed ‘send’ and sat back. She didn’t feel a flicker of regret about turning down the Miami offer.
Modelling was behind her. She wasn’t going to dwell on it.
Not now. She had bigger things to think about, like what her life had turned into.
By tomorrow morning, Neel would be on his way back to Johannesburg.
She’d have to sign the divorce papers. That chapter of her life? Also over.
After leaving Neel’s hotel room, she’d stopped at Come in Carmen and bought two huge slices of chocolate cake to go. She hoped the waitress would assume she was sharing. She wasn’t.
Back home, she devoured both slices and collapsed on the couch. She picked up her phone. No missed calls. No messages. Then she replied to the email.
Kaavi dragged herself to the bedroom and stepped out of her denim skirt.
She was in no mood for a shower. She reached under her T-shirt, unclasped her bra and flung it across the room before she collapsed on the bed, still in her T-shirt and panties.
She shut her eyes tight and tried to picture his face.
Just his face. She didn’t want to think about what he felt like.
She didn’t want to think about him at all.
But then she sat up and reached for her phone on the nightstand. She tapped the screen and scrolled. She found the photo from the day they’d got married. Damn, Neel was hot. Correction: Neel is hot, she thought. But it wasn’t just that. He was kind, thoughtful, loving and just amazing.
She groaned. Loudly.
She did not want to do this to herself.
When she left him, Neel probably thought she had simply moved on with her life, easy as that. But she hadn’t. She’d thought about him every single day. She’d mourned them and missed him achingly.
Now it was starting all over again. The gut-punch feeling, the loss, the need and the heartbreak were back.
They’d returned the rental car and were now sitting at the gate, waiting to board.
Natara sipped on some fancy iced coffee.
He stuck to a bottle of water. Neel didn’t tell her about the night before, how he and Gavin had way too much to drink at the bar, how he’d stumbled back into the hotel room, nearly in tears, drunk and spiralling, thinking about Kaavi.
He took another sip of water and kept quiet, pretending his stomach wasn’t doing somersaults.
Natara pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose, which was really a warning sign.
That little move always meant she was about to say something that would get under his skin.
It was just how they were. As twins, they were fiercely loyal to each other and forever in each other’s corners, but they were also brutally honest with each other.
‘You know, Neel,’ she began, ‘when we were in school and the teachers would say, “Oh, Neel Naran is so quiet and intelligent, the model student”, I was so jealous because I’d get: “Natara Naran is talkative. Natara Naran talks too much. Natara Naran is a chatterbox.” But you were the golden boy. Quiet and smart.’
Neel sighed. ‘Get to the point, Natara.’
She didn’t blink. ‘The point is, my dear brother, I used to be jealous, really jealous.’ She paused. ‘But right now? I’m not. Because you are so stupid.’
‘Huh? What did you say?’ Neel asked, looking surprised.
‘I’m serious. Yeah, you’re quiet. You’ve always been quiet. But why are you quiet now? Why are you just sitting back like a spectator in your own life? Why didn’t you tell Kaavi you love her?’
Neel blinked. ‘Wait, hold on. Weren’t you the one telling me I needed to come back to Jo’burg? And that I needed to forget all of this?’
‘No, Neel. I said you needed to sort out your business and come back to Jo’burg. That business was bringing your wife back with you.’
She glanced around and caught two older women blatantly eavesdropping. Natara lowered her voice.
‘Neel, your wife is supposed to be here.’
‘Nats, Kaavi doesn’t want to be here,’ Neel said quietly. ‘Well, not just the airport. She doesn’t want to be with me. Don’t you get that?’
‘But you didn’t tell her, Neel.’ Natara’s voice rose, then dropped again. ‘What is this crap about leaving the ball in her court? What does that even mean? It’s like you two are living some cliché.’
He didn’t respond right away. Just sipped his water and glanced at the two women still watching them like it was a drama on TV.
He almost wished he could give them something like running out of the terminal, shouting Kaavi’s name, and chasing after her in some sweeping, movie-worthy moment.
Instead, he turned to Natara and said flatly, ‘Maybe I didn’t want to speak up. Maybe this time … Kaavi needed to come after me. She left me first, Nats. Maybe this time I wanted to feel like I was worth chasing.’
His usually snarky sister didn’t say anything. She just looked at him, soft-eyed. Unusually sympathetic.
‘He’s right, you know,’ one of the women said.
Neel and Natara looked up, startled.
‘He is worth chasing,’ she added.
‘He’s actually kind of a hunk,’ the other chimed in.
Neel sighed, grabbed his bag, and stood. ‘I cannot believe you just spilled my whole life story in an airport.’
Natara burst out laughing as she stood up. ‘I love you, Neel.’
Kaavi unplugged the microwave. She couldn’t bear to look at the time. Her phone tempted her every few seconds, but she forced herself not to check it. Sen’s apartment didn’t have a clock, but she knew it had to be around 9.45. Neel would be boarding soon.
Johannesburg wasn’t far. She could be on the next flight. He could change his mind and come back. But that wasn’t what happened. He left without saying if he wanted her back.
He’d asked about the divorce papers. That said it all. He wanted them signed. Sent. Done.
Kaavi didn’t want to think about it, but she had to. Neel was right when he’d showed up a month ago and said: ‘Did you think pretending you weren’t married meant you weren’t?’
It wasn’t the time to pretend. It was time to be grown-ups.
She would ask Sen what to do about the papers. Later. For now, she sank onto the couch. She didn’t want to cry. She didn’t want to do anything at all.
The doorbell rang.
She wasn’t in the mood for anyone, but deep down inside she hoped it was Neel. Maybe he’d turned around. Maybe he came back to say he’d made a mistake.
She opened the door and found her mother standing there. Without a word, her mom pulled her into a hug.
‘Kaavi,’ she whispered.
Kaavi held her tightly. There were so many years she had spent angry, so many moments wasted. But right now, none of that mattered. Her mother was here and that was enough.
She finally stepped back. ‘Mom, what are you doing here?’
Her mother smiled. ‘I decided to take your aunt and uncle up on their offer to stay for a few days and celebrate Diwali with them. Plus, your grandfather’s driving me insane.
He calls every hour on the hour to check if I’m okay.
I appreciate it, but maybe if I’m in the same town for a few days, he’ll finally relax. ’
She walked in, glanced around, then paused. ‘Neel’s gone back to Jo’burg?’
Kaavi nodded. ‘He’s probably on the plane already.’
Her mother moved to the couch and sat down, patting the cushion beside her. Kaavi followed.
‘How are you feeling about it?’ she asked gently.
Kaavi sighed. ‘Oh, Mom, I don’t know. I’ve been so stupid about this whole thing. Do you think I made the right call?’
‘Kaavi, only you can know if you made the right choice. But I will say this: I don’t think Neel’s the kind of man who’d stay with someone out of pity. I only spent a short time with him, but that much seemed clear.’
‘That’s the thing, Mom. You don’t know Neel like I do. He’s so kind it hurts. He’d give up his own happiness just to make someone else feel okay. Maybe he does feel sorry for me. I saw it in his eyes.’
‘That wasn’t pity. That was sympathy. What you went through, any decent person would feel that,’ her mother said.
‘I know.’
Her mother leaned in a little. ‘But think about what you just said: Neel would give up his happiness for someone else’s choice. What if that’s exactly what he’s doing now? Respecting your decision not to go back with him?’
Kaavi stood up, restless. ‘I don’t know.’
She picked up her phone, checked the time, then put it down again.
‘He’s just in Jo’burg … That’s not far, but I don’t know,’ she whispered, trying to keep the tears at bay.