Chapter 25
Chapter
The sun hits my face, waking me up. Instead of the dazzling display of crimson leaves outside my window, I see a broad, bare back, wide shoulders, and a head of dark hair.
I haven’t had this dream in years, except this isn’t a dream. I’m in Adam’s room and it’s dawning on me that we really did have sex last night.
Sex is putting it lightly. It’s like I’ve had a sexual awakening and all I want to do is see how many times I can orgasm, and how many ways I can make Adam breathe out my name.
My eyes blissfully shut, thinking of last night.
I didn’t know it was possible—to make passionate love and at the same time have filthy, rough, erotic sex.
You would think something that’s been building up for over a decade would cause some sort of shift in the universe, or even…be a letdown, but everything feels right. Seeing Adam peacefully inhaling and exhaling in front of me brings a smile to my face. Things are starting to make sense.
As I lean in to give Adam a kiss on the shoulder, he lets out a sleepy exhale.
“Mmm.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” I say with my lips against his skin.
“Never say sorry.” He turns over to face me with his eyes still closed.
I take in the small display of details in sunlight; every crease, the fullness of his lips, the way some of his hairs reflect into an almost auburn hue.
He pulls me in closer, giving me a bear hug, and I get lost in his arms, not wanting to be found. “How’d you sleep?” He yawns.
“Never better,” I say. For obvious reasons, I slept like a baby last night. “You?”
“You really tired me out,” he says.
I laugh and then cuddle closer to him. “I can’t believe we really did that…”
“You’re telling me.” Adam’s body vibrates with a chuckle againstme.
“Was it everything you imagined it would be?” I tease.
His body shifts and he looks down at me. “Better.” He gives me a kiss.
I pull out of his embrace and slightly adjust. He’s lying on his back, and as I throw one of my legs on top of him, the skin-on-skin contact reminds me that aside from the New York Rangers shirt of Adam’s I’m wearing, we are both completely naked.
My hands run over his chest and down his abs, and I scoot myself lower and lower until I’m sitting in between his knees and my hands are on an overwhelming display of morning wood.
I feel like I’m seeing the world through new eyes, like the past five years were in black-and-white and now I’m finally seeing in color.
I feel alive, and I want nothing more than to show Adam just how alive.
He hisses as I start to move both of my hands and lean down to give him a slow kiss.
“June.” His head rolls back as I move my tongue from the base to the tip. When I put what I can of him in my mouth, he catches my arm. “Not yet.”
“You don’t want this?” I frown.
“Oh no, I want it.” Adam groans, then sits up. “But let me cook you breakfast.”
He gives me a kiss and lays me down on my stomach, gently massaging my shoulders. His hands move down to my back and I close my eyes, embracing this feeling. He takes a pillow and places it underneath my stomach and spreads my legs open a little bit, positioning his head in between them.
“Wait, what are you doing?” I look over my shoulder.
“I’m having my breakfast first.”
It takes a good forty-five minutes until we both take a shower, which takes another thirty.
Somehow, we finally manage to get dressed.
Adam’s making shrimp tacos for us before heading to work while I sit at the kitchen island doing a New York Times crossword puzzle, and everything feels…
easy. Like this is how it always should have been.
“What time is Chloe coming over?” Adam asks over his shoulder.
“One,” I say, looking at the clock, which reads 12:46 p.m. We’ve been planning our famous Chloe and June Day, which entails doing nothing but watching movies, eating junk food, and pretending we have no responsibilities.
My gaze falls to Adam chopping cilantro.
While studying his precision, my stomach begins to tighten.
“I was thinking…we don’t need to tell her, do we? ”
“Tell her…?” he asks, still chopping.
“You know, that we slept together.”
“I mean, I don’t think we need to say surprise, we had sex the minute she walks through the door, no.”
“ Adam, ” I laugh against my will. “Seriously.”
“Do you want to tell her?” he asks.
“I don’t know.” I shrug. “But it’s Chloe. She’s going to find out eventually.”
“Will she?” He walks over and places two fresh shrimp tacos with mango salsa in front ofme.
“You know Chloe, she’s perceptive…She’s a lawyer.
” I take a bite, not waiting for it to cool down, because, well, a night full of sex builds up your appetite.
“Oh my God,” I say through a mouthful of spicy crema and slaw.
“I just mean, we haven’t had a chance to talk about this.
” I motion to the space between us. “And I’d rather figure out what this is first.”
Not only are we sleeping together, but we now co-own a house. And while this is a better time than any, I still don’t feel ready to share the news about Les Misérables until I know what exactly that means forus.
“Okay,” he says, nodding. “Let’s figure it out.”
“What?” My eyes widen. “ Now? ”
“Yeah,” he says, like it’s that easy.
“We can’t talk about this now,” I say, and it comes out more nervous than I’d like. “She’ll be here any minute.”
He looks at the clock above the stove and squints. “Twelve minutes, actually, and knowing Chloe, probably sixteen.”
He’s not joking. He is very much ready to have this conversation. Figuring out what the hell a decade of built-up sexual tension with my best friend and a night of steamy lovemaking now means isn’t something I was anticipating talking about before one in the afternoon.
“Okay…” My voice wobbles. “So…what are we doing?”
“Well.” He leans back on the counter and rolls up his sleeves.
“I’m sorry.” I shake my head. “Why do you always do that?”
“Do what?” he asks.
“Lean,” I say.
“ Lean ?” he repeats.
“Yeah, you’re always leaning on things, and it’s hard to think because you look like you’re posing for some fucking GQ article or something.”
“Okay, I’m sorry. I’ll stop leaning.” He pushes himself off the counter and plants his forearms on the island between us. “Is that better?”
“You’re still technically leaning, just forward now—”
“June,” he warns.
“Sorry.” I reach over and hold his hand.
He brings my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckle and gently places it back down. “Okay, let’s talk.”
Is there a world where Adam and I can casually be together these next couple of weeks?
Is it possible to sign the papers, shake hands, and continue on with our lives?
There are no excuses anymore. In my core, I know it’s always been Adam.
After last night, it always will be Adam.
We have a connection that’s lasted through many chapters of our lives, and if he’s not my happily ever after, he’s undoubtedly the one who will get away.
But…does he feel the same way? That’s an answer I’m afraid to find out.
As if on cue, the doorbell rings, and I jump off the barstool.
“That’s Chloe,” I say.
Adam smiles. “Saved by the bell.”
Gripping my oversized cardigan, I run over to the front door and open it to Chloe, standing there with a pink box in her hand.
My eyes widen. “Are those from Moe’s?!”
“I figured it’s been a while since you’ve had these,” she says.
“I love you.” An assortment of twelve different doughnuts that smell unlike anything I ever had in Los Angeles looks back up at me as I open the box.
“I know.” She takes off her shoes and throws her coat in the closet. “Is Adam here?”
“In the kitchen.” I follow her.
“Chloe.” Adam nods when she enters, and passes her a plate.
“See, Harper, this is why I miss you,” she pouts. “I know I’ll always be fed.”
“I got you,” he says with a wink.
I take a seat on the barstool and go back to my half-eaten taco. “Where’s Lucia?”
“At work.” Chloe takes a hearty bite of her taco. “But she wants me to tell you she is very jealous of Chloe and June Day.”
“Chlo, how are things at work?” Adam asks, choosing to eat while standing.
“Brutal,” she sighs. “There’s this ongoing case I’m working on about this piece-of-shit religious couple that’s been running a satanic cult.”
“Fuck—”
“And it turns out the husband actually met his wife in high school, when he was a teacher. It just keeps getting worse,” Chloe says. “But my clients are two of the girls who were inducted as teens. They’ve been with them for fifteen years.”
Surprisingly, this is one of the lighter of Chloe’s cases that I’ve heard about through the years.
“I don’t know how you deal with this every day,” I say.
“There’s a deep satisfaction you get when putting horrible humans behind bars,” she says with a smile. “Couldn’t imagine doing anything else.”
“Speaking of work…” Adam wipes his hands on one of the towels. “I’ll let you two have your unproductive day of watching movies and eating refined sugar.”
“Let us have this, Harper,” Chloe says through a mouthful of shrimp. “How many parents with toddlers and full-time jobs get to watch double features?”
“I’m just jealous I can’t join you,” he says, then pops a tortilla chip into his mouth and looks over at me. His gaze lingers for a moment longer than usual, and it makes my heart thrum. “Okay, I’m off. I’ll see you tonight.” He winks.
Adam has been coming home every night, just as he’s done for years before that, but now it’s different. Now he’s not just coming home. He’s coming home to me.
I smile, tucking my hair behind my ear. “See you tonight.”
Chloe looks at me, suspicion written all over her face. “What was that?”
I freeze, my eyes going big. “What was what?”
“ That ,” she says, gesturing. “The look you just gave each other.”
My eyes quickly flash to Adam in panic. “What are you talking about?” I turn to Chloe, shaking my head. Is this technically gaslighting?
“I know flirting when I see it.” She squints as if she’s being challenged.
“Flirting?” I scoff.
“Did something happen between y’all?” Chloe’s eyes widen, darting back and forth between the two ofus.
It would be great if Adam could help me here, but he’s once again leaning and playing it very cool.
“No…” I say, knowing I could probably do a better job at being convincing.
“Holy. Fucking. Shit. Something did happen! I knew it!” Chloe points at me. “The sexual tension is off the charts.”
“Off the charts?!” I laugh. “You’re insane.”
Okay, now this is technically gaslighting.
“Harper?” Chloe shifts her focus to Adam, who’s frustratingly calm.
He shrugs. “I’m always flirty.”
“Since when?! Y’all better tell me the truth, because if anyone deserves to know, it’s me. ”
If I deny her claims right now, there’s no coming back from this conversation. Avoiding is different from lying and I could never outright lie to Chloe.
“Fine,” I groan, and turn to Adam, who slightly tips his head, showing that I have his blessing. “Something may have happened between us. But can we all move past it since we’re adults?”
“ OH MY GOD !” Chloe squeals, and bangs her hand on the kitchen island.
“At least I thought we were adults,” I say, sighing.
“I knew it!” Chloe claps, way too excited about this. “The two of you keep staring at each other, and more than usual.”
“I do not stare at Adam,” I scoff.
“He stares at you,” she says, raising an eyebrow.
Adam’s still leaning against the counter, and merely shrugs.
I bring my hands together in a praying motion. “Okay, well, this was fun, let’s just forget about—”
“No, wait, I have questions,” Chloe says, wide-eyed. “When did it happen?”
This conversation simply cannot be happening right now. I crack my knuckles and Adam still continues to say nothing, which is his way of showing me that he will go along with whatever I want.
“Chlo…”
“Oh, now you two are being secretive, but when both of you got food poisoning on Fourth of July, you had no issue with me cleaning up your—”
“Okay, fine!” I sit up straight in disbelief that we are openly talking about this. “It happened last night.”
“ Last night ?!” she repeats. “What does this mean? Are you two together?”
“We haven’t talked about it yet,” I say, looking at Adam.
She’s nodding, and it’s like I can see the wheels in her head spinning. Chloe’s trying her best to keep quiet, but I know the minute we’re alone I’m going to get harassed with questions.
“I respect that. But I’m not going to lie: I’m offended that the two of you were going to keep this from me.”
“I was eventually going to tell you.” I roll my eyes.
Adam lets out an uncomfortable cough and then pushes himself off the counter. “All right, well, I’m going to head out,” he says, and I internally panic as he walks toward me instead of the front door. “Have a good day.” He gives me a soft kiss on the top of my head.
“You too.” I blush, embarrassed by the public display of affection, but even more embarrassed by how much I loveit.
“I ship it.” Chloe takes a bite of her taco and is met with an eye roll from Adam before he leaves the kitchen. “That means I want y’all to be together.”
“I know what it means.” I shoot her an unimpressed look.
We both wait for the door to close, and once we hear the confirmation that Adam’s gone, Chloe gives me a smug smile.
“What?” I ask, really not wanting to know.
“Don’t what me, bitch. June Wood, you know damn well I’ve wanted you two to be together since day one. This is my good karma.”
“Adam and I sleeping together is your good karma?” I say. “For what?”
“For all the assholes I dated. For living in Connecticut. For that time I worked overtime when Beyoncé had that surprise concert in Times Square.”
I raise an eyebrow. “I thought you loved Connecticut.”
“How did it happen?” she asks, changing the subject.
“I don’t know.” I shrug. “It just…happened.”
“His penis just happened to go inside your vagina?” she asks.
“Yes,” I say, nodding. “Exactly.”
“This is huge, June,” she says. “All the stars are aligning for you two to be together.”
“Chloe…”
“I’m serious.” She readjusts herself on the barstool and pulls herself a little closer to me.
“Years have passed and here you both are, single, living in the same house again, which you now own, I might add. You both have your shit together and are clearly obsessed with one another. What’s the problem? ”
“Because it’s not that simple.” I sigh. “You weren’t here; you don’t get it.”
“Okay, then tell me,” she says, exasperated.
“Adam and I can’t just pick up from where we left off,” I say.
“June.” Chloe frowns, her tone now completely serious. “What happened between you two?”