Chapter 5
The Night Before
Chaos of The Mind . . .
Location: Southern Afghanistan (Kandahar)
Mission: Female Engagement Team (FET)/Overwatch
It was like the same beat but a different drum, at a different time in a different space.
It was 0600, which was one of the best times to be on patrol because instead of the heat from the pits of hell, it felt more like the balcony.
The dust was even too hot to damn move. I hated that I naturally had long eyelashes because, at the end of my day, I felt like I had Aloysius Snuffleupagus’s lashes.
My rifle was steady on the second-story rooftop that my spotter and I were assigned to scan a road that came through the village we were in.
They called it a routine patrol, but I had learned long ago that routine was an ambiguous term when it came to these missions.
Anything could happen at any time that could turn a routine patrol into a day of horror.
Men unloaded crates in the market stalls that were just opening. There were kids scattered about, watching as my squad moved slowly past them. My eyes were sharp as I scanned, breathed, communicated, then repeated the process.
That was when I saw her. To the average person, she was a woman in a faded burgundy headscarf. There was nothing to see there. To me, though, she was a woman out of place—her walk rigid with her arms tight to her side and her hands clenched. I adjusted my scope. Yeah, she could be a problem.
What stuck out the most was her focus . . . the ground. Everyone else around the market was busy with their movements, but they watched patrol as they moved about. She hadn’t lifted her head once to put eyes on them. That was not normal behavior.
“Winters, do you see what I see?” Team Lead’s voice came through the comm.
With my eye still sharp in my scope, I replied, “Your ten, female approaching, mid-twenties, burgundy scarf. Her gait is off.”
The woman continued to walk in the same manner that worried me. The closer she got, the quieter the market got. “Stop her, now,” I said into the radio sternly.
With a calm voice and a steady hand, the woman was ordered to stop her movement. She didn’t obey his order. She took another step. I saw her lips move, then a flash.
It happened so fast. When I finally opened my eyes, the only thing I could hear was ringing and faint screams. Smoke and dust were the only visuals that I had. I have to get up.
As soon as I got to my feet, my weapon went up. It didn’t matter how shaky my hands were. My eyes scanned for secondaries regardless of my limited visuals. Down . . . two men were down. The woman was gone, which was to be expected with a suicide bomber.
My body moved in trained autopilot as I left the roof to drag one of my squad behind cover. I fucked up. I should have handled that.
I tried to assess the injuries of Staff Sergeant Peters. I was in a daze and could barely focus. There was so much going on. This is my fault.
Back To the Present
Back In the Trenches . . .
Staff Sergeant Fredrick Peters died beside me that day. He left behind a pregnant wife and two sons. He died because I didn’t do my job. One squeeze just three seconds earlier could have changed the lives of three soldiers. I failed them.
That was the kind of night that I had and the reason that I dragged this morning.
I didn’t have Marie anymore to change my sheets.
Since I paid a monthly rate, I didn’t get housekeeping daily, but I did get sheets and things to clean myself.
For all intents and purposes, my suite was my apartment, just like my apartment was in Atlanta.
When I got to work, Vic made a comment about my tardiness, and I got a slight attitude. I felt bad after that, but I didn’t plan to apologize. I knew that I should, but my pride wouldn’t allow it.
The change in our relationship was a welcomed change, to an extent.
I’d never deny my attraction and want for him.
That still didn’t negate my fear of the what-ifs.
He served his twenty years, and I wasn’t foolish enough to think that he came out unscathed.
It just seemed like he had a better handle on it than I did.
He did mention in passing that he attended one of those groups that Mrs. Pressley always preached about.
His hideaway was heavenly, and I loved it there. I loved it even more when he was there with me. His hands felt so good on my body. The rough-soft contrast turned me on to a level that I didn’t know was possible.
I was in a five-year relationship while I was in the military that was filled with bullshit.
Our relationship started during my first deployment.
From there, it went on to be nothing, because he loved fucking pussy that wasn’t mine.
On top of that, he claimed that my PTSD was too much for him to deal with.
I should have shot him in his dick and called it an episode.
Once Vic and I got past my tardiness this morning, he told me that he would teach me a new cut.
I loved cutting meat. It was my favorite thing to do next to riding Choppa.
Sometimes his mother would ride with me.
She was such an amazing woman. When she told me stories about Vic that I knew he would never want me to know, I couldn’t stop laughing.
I held those stories close to use as leverage one day.
“That looks really good, beautiful.” I heard the smile in his voice, and it made me feel accomplished.
I stayed focused with a smile on my face. “Thank you. I have a great teacher.”
I grabbed another piece of meat, prepared to make a cut. Before I could, I was startled by a sound. Pow! My mind scrambled. Before I could get a complete understanding of the sound, it happened again. Pow!
My body reacted. Low . . . scan . . . breathe . . . communicate. “Burgundy, female, your ten.”
My breathing was controlled, or so I thought. Scan . . . breathe . . . communicate. “Her gait is off. Stop her.”
“Hey. Hey.” The voice was low, in the distance. Who was it? Where was it coming from? Was it someone in my comm?
A face came into my scope. A familiar face. “Winters.” His voice was steady and firm.
“Winters, you’re here with Dawson. You’re on the farm. Plasters, Georgia, Major Road,” he said.
Plasters, Georgia. The farm? I felt my head tilt ever so slight to the side. His face wasn’t in focus yet. I heard him tell me that I was safe. My eyes slowly focused.
His hand laid flat on his chest. “Look at me, Winters.” When I shied away, his voice became firmer, but not louder. “Staff Sergeant.”
That pulled me in. I caught his gaze. Panic still sat on my chest.
He stepped closer to me. He moved so slowly that it was almost as if he wasn’t moving at all. His hand reached out, and two fingers lifted my chin. His eyes were soft.
“Breathe.” He inhaled slowly and controlled. He held it, then he exhaled. He continued to do it until I caught on.
I started to mimic his behavior. I wasn’t sure how long we did that before I felt words at the top of my tongue. “There was—”
I was cut off by his words. “I know. Keep breathing, Winters. Count with me. Come on and tell me three things you see.”
My vision was blurry. I closed them tight, then blinked a few times to focus. I looked around.
“Um, table,” I said.
“Okay. Something else.”
“Vince,” I named.
“Yep, that’s him. One more,” Vic instructed softly.
“The display case.” I felt my breathing slow. Not much, but enough to count.
“Look at me, beautiful.” When my eyes focused on him, he smiled softly. “Three things you feel.”
“Um, my apron, the floor.” I stopped and glanced down. “Your shirt.” I didn’t realize that I grabbed the front of his shirt.
“Good, love. You’re okay. You’re here with me at the butcher shop. You’re safe,” he assured me. “You’re not there anymore.”
Exhaustion came over me. I was so tired. “I don’t like this,” I confessed softly.
“I know, but it’s okay.” When he tried to pull me in, I slightly recoiled. He allowed me to.
I sighed. I was annoyed with myself. “I should have done better with that.”
His eyes were soft with his smile. “You did good, love. You came back to me.”
His words did something to me. He placed his flat palm against my cheek, and I let him. My face leaned into his hand. “I’m here, not there.”
“Exactly. You’re here with me. Right where I want and need you to be,” he said genuinely.
Slowly, we stood together. My hand still gripped his shirt. In that moment, we weren’t two soldiers. We weren’t Winters and Dawson. We were Vic and Minnow.
Less Than a Week Later
Let’s Go to The Movies . . .
Vic asked me on an official date tonight.
Once a month, Plasters had a movie night.
In a huge field on the other side of town, a big screen went up.
Everyone came out with their lawn chairs and blankets.
The Rosebuds had a food truck, and two food trucks came from a town over.
The movie theater, which I was surprised that the town had one, sponsored the event.
It was one of the biggest events in town outside of the football games.
I couldn’t remember a time when I’d ever been this excited for a first date.
Like a gentleman, he even picked me up from my suite-apartment.
When he got to my door, I wanted to jump his ass.
The man had on a black T-shirt, camouflage cargo shorts, and a pair of J’s.
I could tell that his hair was freshly cut and beard freshly trimmed. This man was fine, fine.
His voice pulled me out of my lustful thoughts. “Min, you know you’re fine as fuck, right? I was just wondering if you knew that.”
My cheeks betrayed me. He started calling me Min a few days ago. I leaned my body into him. “Do you know you’re fine as fuck?”
His body leaned toward mine. His lips kissed mine. “Two fine fuckas together could be dangerous.”
“Oh, is that so. I didn’t realize we were together. When did that happen?” I asked.
He kissed my lips again. “It happens whenever you’re ready, Min. I’m ready. I’m just waiting on you. No rush, I got time.”
That was something that I loved about him.
He was never forceful. I knew I got on his damn nerves with my indecisiveness.
There were so many times that we were almost there, and I was always the one to stop us.
He never complained or treated me differently.
He never brought it up. I was sure if he heard me say “it’s getting late” one more time that he would toss me out of that barn skylight.
I didn’t respond to his words. I wasn’t sure where he found this lawn chair, but it was made for couples.
It was an oversized chair that fit two people with a divider that made it a two-seater.
The divider was able to be lifted. By the time the movie started, the divider was lifted, Vic’s arm was around my neck, and my body was leaned into him.
The eyes that continued to land on me and Vic didn’t escape me. He was unbothered by it. I leaned over to put my lips near his ear. “Am I the first woman that these people have seen you with?”
“Huh?” His eyes diverted from the movie to me. “Um, yeah, well, since I’ve been an adult. The last woman they saw me with was Jessica. Why?”
I shook my head. “For some people, we seem to be the movie. Your little ex is over there with her husband, and she still can’t keep her eyes to herself.” I looked him up and down. “Let me find out.”
He looked down at me for a beat, then kissed my lips deeply. “Trust me, when the time comes, you’re gonna find out. Imagine, I was in high school then. I’m all grown man now.”
Well, damn! Now I was all worked up and needed something to cool me down. “I’m gonna go get some water, soda, or something. You want anything?”
“Yes, love. Get me a water. You want me to go with you?” he asked.
I kissed my teeth. “I think I can get my own water, Vic. I’m not that fragile.”
He lifted his hand in mock surrender. Since my little episode, I wouldn’t say that he handled me with kid gloves, but I knew that he had a watchful eye on me. As much as I minded, I really didn’t.
There was a short line at the food truck.
Three women were in front of me, completely engulfed in their conversation about me and Vic.
Apparently, the people of Plasters assumed that I was a lesbian when I arrived.
Tonight’s public display of affection between me and Vic solidified that I was not. I decided that I would fuck with them.
I took one step forward. “I heard Vic has that dick that makes you crazy. Turns lesbians straight.”
All their heads snapped in my direction. They were all deer in headlights. I must have frazzled them because they left the line before they bought anything. That made me next in line. Look at God!
When I got to the front, I ordered the waters that I needed and a popcorn. It took no time at all for them to get it to me. On my walk back to my seat, I saw the last three fuckas that I wanted to see. They were the worst thing about my stay at the Rosebuds Bed & Breakfast.
“What’s up, Miss Minnow, with your fine ass. Your ass is thick as fuck,” the tallest one said. He was clearly the leader of this dumb ass pack.
They were standing in a group of teenagers, so that seemed to exacerbate the need for the tall dummy to be an ass.
I was most surprised by the dumb ass girls that stood around and giggled at their nonsense.
The youth of today were so fucking lost. I shook my head.
I had to walk past them to get to my seat.
“Damn, you’re going to ignore me, Miss Minnow? I bet you wouldn’t ignore me if my dick was in ya mouth,” he said. “Your thick ass can’t ignore me when you’re chokin’ on a dick.”
The kids erupted with laughter. I really wanted to walk past, but my spirit was bothered. “I told your mother you were destined to be a rapist. Ladies, it’s alright to report.”
There were gasps and oh shits heard. I noticed that Vic was headed toward me. In the blink of an eye, the word bitch was said, and my arm was pulled aggressively. In the next blink, my gun was pulled and placed in between the eyes of the tall fucka. He wasn’t so tough now.