Chapter 4
Chapter Four
STELLA
When the clock hits noon and I haven’t seen Mallory, I knock on her door. Her room is empty. I don’t know if that means she left early this morning, or if she didn’t come home last night. I send her a text.
STELLA: What time did you want to go to lunch?
When she doesn’t answer in thirty minutes, I decide not to wait. After a quick text exchange with my sister Naomi, I head to her place. Her husband is working his twenty-four hour shift at the firehouse today, so it will just be her and their three kids.
The moment I walk through the front door, Lola runs at me and wraps her arms around my waist. At eleven years old, she’s a perfect big sister to her two younger siblings. She’s kind, protective, and adores them.
Ten year old Trevor comes next. Three-year-old Penelope trots in last.
“Tella!” she yells over and over.
I pick her up, and her arms go around my neck.
I’m encircled by three sets of arms, and all my disappointment in not having lunch with Mallory evaporates. My nieces and nephews, aka niblings, make even the hardest day special.
When I get to the kitchen with Penelope on my hip and her head on my shoulder, Naomi is standing at the counter, surrounded by baking ingredients, one floury hand resting on her growing stomach. Baby number four is due in January.
“Thanks for coming over.” She blows a piece of hair out of her face. “I need a taste tester.”
“A job I am happy to accept.”
While the kids and I play Uno at the kitchen table, I taste every cookie Naomi lays in front of me. They’re bite-sized samples as she works through recipe ideas. She owns a successful in-home baking business and sells cookies and cupcakes.
I am not a baker, so as she rattles off ideas and taste combinations, I nod my head and agree with everything she says. It all sounds delicious.
I discard a reverse card, and Lola groans. She doesn’t have the right color. She grumbles as she takes a card from the pile.
After Naomi and I chat about the fireman’s ball last night, she asks, absently as she jots down notes, “How was karaoke last night? Did Caleb come?”
I’ve talked about Caleb a lot to Naomi, and now the memory of all our conversations about him makes me sick with embarrassment. I’m not sure how to admit how foolish I’ve been, not even to her.
“Karaoke was fun,” I say in a measured tone. “The nachos were a hit.”
She glances over, her brow low. “I can tell there’s more. What happened?”
I have a gaping emotional wound, and I want to keep it wrapped tightly, not face the hurt. But I could use some empathy and perspective.
“I’ll tell you,” I say slowly. “But I don’t want to talk about it.”
She gives me her full attention. “Okay.”
“Caleb and Mallory have been dating for four months. Neither of them said a word to me about it. Last night, he proposed.”
Naomi’s jaw drops. “Secretly dating?”
“Just to me. Everyone else knew.”
“Four months?”
“Yes,”
“Marriage?”
“Yes.”
“That’s really fast.”
I shrug as if to say when it’s right, it’s right, though I know nothing of the sort. Besides, Naomi can’t be too judgy. She married her husband within weeks of meeting him.
“They love each other,” I say.
She pulls out the chair at the end of the table and sits. “Wow.”
“Exactly.”
“Stella.” Trevor tugs on my sleeve. “It’s your turn.”
“Sorry.”
I lay down a card, then Trevor discards his last for the win. Lola pouts for a few seconds, then gathers the cards to deal the next game.
Naomi is still staring at me, shaking her head slightly, mouth ajar. “I can’t believe she didn’t tell you. Sorry, do you not want me to comment?”
“Commenting is allowed.”
Her eyes narrow as her lips thin. “You don’t do your friends dirty like she did to you. Did her apology match the crime?”
“We haven’t talked about it yet. She’s been busy.” Avoiding me again. Why, I can’t understand.
My phone dings with a text to both me and Mallory from our landlord.
JAG: I need your lease agreements back by today if you want to renew for the next year.
I completely forgot to talk to Mallory about our lease renewal yesterday. Jag is patient, but even he’s probably irritated with us by this point. I type out a text apologizing and promising to get them to him today, but before I push send, Mallory calls.
I hand Naomi my cards and show her the screen. “I need to get this.” I go into the living room. “Hello?”
“I am so sorry about lunch today,” Mallory says in a rush.
“Caleb’s parents invited me and my mom to brunch this morning.
I couldn’t say no, but I expected it to be an hour, two at the most. It turned into a wedding planning session.
I’m still here, but I snuck away to the bathroom for a much needed break.
Stella,” she says in a hushed voice, as if she’s handing over secrets, “They’re insanely rich.
I always thought I’d have a wedding at a teacher-salary approved venue, but his mom booked the Kingan Gardens!
” she squeals, but quietly. “It starts at ten thousand, and that’s just to rent the space. Can you imagine?”
This is the Mallory I love. The cheerful, honest friend who doesn’t ignore me, but shares what’s going on in her life. I collapse into the couch, feeling as if we’re finding our way back to our friendship after the secrets have come to light. “I can’t. It’s like you’re a celebrity.”
“I feel like one. She’s already hired a wedding planner. I have a ten page list of all the decisions I have to make. The sooner the better, because the date we picked is only nine months away. May tenth, the weekend after school ends.”
“So soon!”
“You know how I love spring. But Stella, that’s not why I called. It’s about Jag’s text. I, well, I know this is unfair and so last minute, but I’m not renewing.”
My heart drops. “What?”
“Krystal asked me to move into her condo until the wedding. It’ll save me a ten-minute commute to work both ways, and with all that I have on my plate with planning an over-the-top, extravagant wedding, I need the time.”
Another way Krystal is replacing me in Mallory’s life. Another emotional cut.
“I can’t afford the apartment on my own,” I say. “Where do you expect me to find somewhere to live in two weeks?”
“Your parents?” she says meekly.
Just what I want to do at my age: move back in with Mom and Dad. My frustration and hurt bubble up. I can’t help but believe she put off turning in the lease agreements to Jag for this very reason.
“You and Krystal came up with this plan last night after Caleb proposed?”
A beat of silence. “Well, no. But I wasn’t sure I’d accept her offer until last night. There was never a good time to talk to you about it.”
“Like there was never a good time to tell me about Caleb?” I say, though my voice is soft, hiding just how deep my hurt and anger run.
She sighs, as if giving up pretending it isn’t a big deal.
“I deserve that. I’m sorry about not telling you.
When he asked for my number, I didn’t want to mention it because I knew how much you liked him.
Then our first date was so good. Stella, the way he kissed me.
Not just a spark; fireworks.” This time when she sighs, it’s for a completely different reason.
“Krystal suggested that I wait to tell you until I knew it was going somewhere, and then when it went so fast, she had the idea to start small. Tell you we were just starting a relationship, not in the middle of one. Eventually, over a few weeks, what I told you would catch up to real life, but then Caleb surprised me with his proposal.”
So I have Krystal to blame for the lies. Not surprising.
“A word of advice. Never listen to Krystal’s advice. At least not where I’m concerned.”
She groans in a playful way. “I don’t understand why you two can’t get along!”
“She hates me.”
“The feeling is mutual. Don’t deny it.”
“She started it.”
It’s a familiar conversation, and she laughs. I join in half-heartedly. She never takes my frustration with Krystal seriously. Better not to talk about her at all.
“Is Caleb the reason you backed out of our trip to Greece this summer?” I ask.
“Yes. I couldn’t leave him for weeks.”
“You could have told me, you know. The moment he asked for your number. I would have let my crush go immediately.”
I also wouldn’t have obsessed over every interaction I had with him for the past four months. I feel foolish and stupid.
“Stella,” she says slowly in an apologetic voice, “It was easy to keep Caleb a secret. You’ve been distant this year.
I know your job has been stressful and you’re struggling with what to do with your life, but instead of going out with me and our friends for some fun, you stay in your room and live in your head with your books.
Yeah, hockey star Mickey is cute, but he’s a book character; not a real boyfriend. ”
Ouch. My eyes prick with tears. So because I need time to decompress after a stressful job and people-ing all day, it’s my fault she lied to me about Caleb?
“That’s not fair, Mallory.”
“It’s not fair of you to expect me to stay home every night because that’s what you want to do. You stew in your sadness and that isn’t me. You’re so passive. Do something! Stop waiting for your life to start. You want to get married, but you don’t do anything to make that happen.”
The tears I tried to blink away spill down my cheeks. “I’m trying. I went on twenty-three dates this year.”
“First dates. You turned down every guy who asked you for a second.”
Not that there were more than five. “I wasn’t interested! Are you honestly telling me I’m being too picky? You hate it when people say that to you.”
Tense silence stretches between us. I don’t trust my voice to not quiver, and even if I wasn’t crying, I have no idea what to say. I’ve always believed Mallory didn’t hold my awkward shyness against me; that she loved me no matter what. It sounds like she’s silently resented me for some time now.