Chapter 6 #2
He studies my face for a moment. It’s probably blotchy from suppressed tears. I won’t be able to squash them for much longer.
“I’ll walk you to your car.”
I don’t want that. I can’t cry with an audience. It’ll make me even more pathetic. “No, it’s okay.”
“I insist, even if I have to follow behind. It’s dark. I just want to make sure you make it to your car okay.”
My short laugh is thick with the wrong kind of emotion. “We’re in the Catalina Foothills. No one here is going to try to steal my car keys.”
“Humor me.”
If it means I can escape, okay. After a quick goodbye to Drew’s family, I glance back at Mallory and Caleb still talking to her work friends. I’ll text her my goodbye tomorrow.
Drew follows as I stride across the grass.
“What’s the hurry?” he asks. “Do you have somewhere you need to be?”
Anywhere but here. I slow my pace and wipe away the few tears that have managed to escape. I’m glad it’s dim along the side of the house. We exit the yard and step onto the lane that leads to the main road.
“I know tonight has been hard for you,” Drew says. “I’m sorry.”
He has no idea why it’s been hard for me, and to speak the truth feels more humiliating than to let him continue to believe I’m the woman who can’t let go of my love for a happily engaged man. Because what kind of person loses all of her friends in a matter of weeks? A lame one.
The tears come faster. Drew looks ahead and doesn’t notice until a sniffle sneaks out.
“Hey, Stella. I shouldn’t have brought it up. I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologize for.” I hate how emotional I sound. Stop crying. The tears don’t listen and continue to fall.
“What can I do?”
More sniffles. “Nothing.”
The only person who can fix this is Mallory, and from the way she dismissed me tonight, she won’t. I step out onto the main street and turn right, up the hill. Drew follows.
“I want to help. You can ask me to do anything.”
I wonder what he would say if I asked for an embrace. A long, tight, hold that will quiet my thoughts and calm my heart. But no. I’m pathetic enough to want it, but not pathetic enough to ask.
“I’m not in love with Caleb,” I say. “I met him at a community event, and invited him over for karaoke. That’s where he met Mallory.
She knew I liked him, and so she kept their relationship a secret.
I don’t know how the gossip started that I’m in love with him.
I am emphatically not. I had no idea they were even dating until the night he proposed.
But I thought Mallory and I fixed things between us!
Sure we’re both busy, but to take away my bridesmaid spot and not care enough to tell me? That’s extreme.”
“You didn’t drop out of the wedding party?” Drew asks.
“No!”
“It must be Krystal,” Drew says, his previously kind voice now hard.
“She told Caleb you loved him the night he proposed to Mallory. She’s been talking about how jealous you are of Mallory to everyone who will listen.
I’ve tried to speak up for you, but I’m not in Tucson like the others, and I didn’t know the truth. ”
He is a sweet man, but it isn’t fair to blame everything on her.
“Krystal and I have never been friends. She owes me nothing. It’s Mallory who has betrayed me.” My voice cracks. “She’s the one who has the power to stop all of this and she hasn’t.”
We reach my car and stop. I’ve been unable to look at him this whole conversation, not wanting to see his pity. Though at the moment, everything is blurry from tears. I can’t see much of anything.
“I’m going to tell everyone what Krystal did,” he says. “I’ll explain to Mallory what I think about her and how she’s handled this. Caleb, too. They’re all jerks and they deserve to know it.”
They are all jerks. Drew telling them off would be glorious. But I don’t want him to. There’s no reason to ruin Mallory’s engagement because she’s outgrown me. Not even when her tendency to avoid hard things has led her to avoid talking to me. Again.
I lay a hand on his suit jacket sleeve. “No, don’t say anything, okay?”
“I can’t promise that.”
I wipe tears from my cheeks. “Yes, you can. I don’t want to ruin Caleb and Mallory’s party. Or the lead up to their wedding. They’re happy together. So promise you won’t do anything drastic.”
“What counts as ‘drastic?’”
I smile even as I sniffle. I could use a tissue right now.
“Probably anything you’re thinking about doing,” I say. “Let it be. I’m the only one this effects, and I’d like to keep it that way.”
“Mallory and Caleb don’t deserve you.”
They’ve made it clear they don’t want me. I open my car door and step behind it, a roadblock against tumbling into his chest. Somehow Drew, in such a short time, has snuck into my heart. I’m a disaster.
“Thanks for making tonight … fun,” I say.
“You’re fun to hang out with.”
Which makes me laugh. That’s not true. I’m boring.
“I’ll see you in Blissful next Saturday,” he says.
“Yes, I’ll be there by nine o’clock as I’ve promised. Multiple times.”
I climb inside my car. He shuts the door for me.
I wave as I pull away from the curb. Drew remains in my rearview mirror until the road curves.
Once out of sight, I pull over to the side and turn on the overhead light to check for napkins in my glove box.
I wipe the tears from my cheeks and blow my nose, then I lay my head back against the seat and close my eyes.
Like a rerun of my least favorite TV show, my thoughts keep replaying all that happened tonight over and over and over, focusing on Krystal and Mallory. I need a power-off button for my brain.
I wish I already had my own home where I could go to properly wallow.
There is no way that will happen at Naomi’s place.
She’ll expect to hear how tonight went. Tomorrow morning the kids will burst into my room, and I’ll pretend to be happy.
I don’t want to pretend happiness. Or talk about what happened tonight.
I want to cry without needing to explain myself to anyone.
I want a hot bath, a Twix bar, a diet coke, and a book.
What I need is a hotel.
Maybe one in Blissful. After all Drew’s told me about his hometown, it seems like a magical land filled with kind people.
A quick search on my phone gives me a few options for the night.
I call Blissful Bed and Breakfast off of Third Street.
Because it’s nine o’clock, I’m not sure anyone will answer, but someone does.
“Blissful B&B. How can I help you?”
She has a room available and promises to be at the desk in an hour when I’m set to arrive. I have nothing with me, no change of clothes, a toothbrush, or clean underwear. I don’t care. I’ll worry about that later.
I send Naomi a text to let her know I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon and set off for Blissful, Arizona.
DREW
When Stella disappears around a bend in the road, I slowly walk back to the party. I can hear the music long before I reach the house. As I come around the side, Krystal spots me and makes a beeline in my direction.
“Drew! Where did you go? I want to dance with you.” She grabs my hand.
I don’t follow and tug my hand out of her grip.
She puts her fists on her hips and gives me a flirty smile. She’s a beautiful woman. I’ve always been partial to long blonde hair and blue eyes. Too bad she’s rotten on the inside.
“It’s a party!” she says. “Why are you pouting?”
Up until yesterday I tolerated Krystal’s flirting without engaging. But understanding how many lies she’s told breaks any courtesy I gave her before.
“I’m not interested in dancing with you,” I say firmly.
She rolls her eyes and takes a step back. “It’s a dance, not a proposal.” She glances over my shoulder. “Are you mad at me because of Stella?”
An interesting direction for her mind to go.
“Why would me not wanting to dance with you have anything to do with Stella?”
“Because she was at your table, and you were talking together all night. She probably told you some sob story about how I took her place as maid of honor.”
“She didn’t actually. But you did take her place as maid of honor. Is she not allowed to be upset?”
This time when she puts her hands on hips, it isn’t to flirt. It’s a stance of defiance. “It wasn’t my choice. It was Mallory who decided I was the better friend. Why do you care? She’s ten years older than you.”
“Am I only allowed to be friends with people my own age?” I ask.
She huffs and glances to the side. “That’s not the point.”
“What is your point? That because you don’t like her, no one else is allowed to?”
She remains silent as her expression hardens, and her lips pucker.
“Stella asked me to not make a big deal about what you’ve done.
If it wasn’t for my promise to her, I’d be telling everyone what a back-stabbing horror show you are.
” I take a step closer to her. The defiance melts from her face.
“My promise only extends so far. Going forward, if you keep lying about Stella, I will not stay silent. You fight with her, you fight with me.”
I step around her and walk toward the dancing and music. I’m seething and clench my hands to stop them from shaking with fury. Maybe I shouldn’t have threatened Krystal, but I had to let her know that Stella isn’t alone. She has at least one person who will defend her.
Mom has Benji in her arms, and I take him so she can dance with Roger. I sit at our table and watch Caleb and Mallory talk to their guests, laughing and sharing secret smiles.
I’m furious at them both, and focus on Benji. He makes me happy.
I don’t think much about my ex-wife, mostly for self-preservation purposes, but it’s hard not to when I hold my nephew. I might be a dad by now if things had gone according to our original plans. The valley of what-might-have-been is the worst place to be stuck.
I bet Stella gets stuck there sometimes too, especially in this situation. I will help her the way she helped me all those years ago. I’ll be the friend she needs right now.