Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
STELLA
I’m nervous when I come outside. Drew stands facing my door, a frown on his face.
“Is everything okay with Quinn?” I ask.
He forces a smile. It doesn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah. We worked things out. She’s going to stay in town for a little longer.”
“Are you okay with that?”
“Yeah, surprisingly I am.” He looks me up and down. “You’re in your pajamas. Sorry.”
“I was going to take an early night and read a book in bed, but this is fine. Let’s walk.”
I wrap my thick sweater tighter across my stomach as we walk to First Street.
For two blocks he doesn’t say a word. The longer he’s silent, the more nervous I become.
He’s about to tell me he feels nothing for me but friendship.
My stomach is in complete turmoil. I shouldn’t have eaten so much at dinner.
I prepare myself to take the humiliation of having my crush called out.
I’ll keep my response minimal. No babbling.
He stops and turns to me. His eyes skim over my face for a few seconds. My breath stutters as I wait for him to call me out for my feelings.
“Stella, will you go on a date with me?”
His words don’t compute. It’s dark so it’s hard to see his expression, but if I had to guess, he looks hopeful. For a date with me. This isn’t the script of our friendship that I’ve written inside my head.
“What?” I croak.
He takes a breath, and says every word distinctly. “I would like to take you on a date.”
“Why?”
He laughs, but it’s an honest question.
“Because I like you. I’ve liked you for months. I’ve been hurt before when I fell for a city girl, so I’ve held off asking you out. But if I don’t make a move, someone else will.”
My hands start to shake. I tuck them under my armpits. Even though Drew’s held a prominent spot in my daydreams for a while, I've never let myself believe anything would happen between us. If he takes me out and loses interest, I might lose my best friend.
“Stella?”
“I …”
Drew stuffs his hands back in his pockets and looks back the way we just came. “I can see this is a surprise. If you don’t feel the same about me, we can pretend I didn’t say a word. I won’t ever mention it again.”
The problem is, I do want to go out with him, I’m just afraid of where that will lead.
“I’ll go on a date with you.” I try to smile, but the fear is too big, and it probably looks more like a grimace.
His eyebrows lower. “You don’t have to.”
“I want to.” No one would be able to tell by my voice. My words are saying one thing, while my demeanor is saying another.
“Okay,” he says, like he doesn’t believe me. “I know you’re busy with the store, so we can wait until after it opens.”
“Tomorrow. We should go tomorrow.” If we don’t, I might give in to my fear, and I’ll never get the chance to kiss him.
“Okay?” he says, hesitantly.
I start walking back to Second Street. So fast I leave Drew behind. He jogs to catch up.
“What is going on inside of that brain of yours?” he asks.
“I’m really tired. I want to go home and climb into bed so I’m ready for our date. Tomorrow.”
“I’m getting the feeling you don’t actually want this date.”
“I do.” My voice comes out unnaturally high. I walk a little faster. By the time I make it back to the bookstore, I’m speed walking. I punch in the door code with jerky movements. “Good night, Drew.”
“Stel—”
I slam the door before he’s finished speaking, run up the stairs, and into my room where I collapse onto my bed.
I’m a complete moron. I do a deep breathing exercise until my heart stops its frantic race in my chest and my thoughts calm. I’m frustrated with how I acted. Why am I still afraid of so many things?
I need to talk to Drew and explain why I freaked out. He probably thinks I hate him after the way I ran away. Over the phone will be much easier than face-to-face.
He answers on the second ring. I put it on speaker and drop it on the bed like it’s poisonous.
“Stella. If you’re calling to cancel the date, it’s fine. Like I said, we can remain—”
“Drew, I like you,” I blurt out. My heart races in my chest. “A lot. I’m sorry for acting so weird just now. I’m scared.”
“Of me?”
“Yes. No. More of what will happen if after we go out on a date, or a few dates, and then you change your mind about me.” I’m talking so fast, the words trip over themselves. “I can’t lose you as a friend. I lost Mallory and everyone else in Tucson, and I can’t start over again.”
“Breathe, Stella. You won’t lose me as a friend, no matter what. You know, I’m nervous about this too. You could do better than me. You’re smart. You have years of college. I didn’t do anything past high school. I’m a small town handyman.”
I smile at the absurdity. “Impossible. You’re a brilliant musician and talented at building things. I find that more attractive than book smarts.”
He clears his throat. “Good to know. How are you feeling about Blissful? Any temptation to move back to Tucson?”
“Not even a little. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I’m not going anywhere, either. You’re too important to me to not have you in my life. If dating doesn’t work, we’ll still be friends. Best friends. I’m not letting go of you.”
His kind words bring tears to my eyes. But …
in romance movies the main character always breaks up with the boring person to spend the rest of their life with someone exciting.
I can’t banish the fear that I’m the person he’ll date then dump when he meets someone who is meant to be his forever love.
“Drew, I’m not sure you know me well enough to understand that my interests are not all that exciting.
I’ve been busy with the store, but normally, I read a lot.
More than is healthy, probably. I like to stay home most nights with my fictional stories and a cup of cocoa. Won’t you find that boring?”
“Not when I’m with you. I love being at your place after dinner, both of us working. Maybe not every night, but most nights, I’ll be on the couch next to you while you read.”
He is the sweetest, but there’s more.
“What about this town?” I say. “You’re a super star here. The write-in candidate for mayor. If you break-up with me, then everyone will hate me. I’d have to leave. Where will I go? What will I do?”
“If you give me a chance, I won’t break up with you, Stella.”
His voice is firm and confident. The way he says my name makes my whole body buzz.
But I won’t get off track. “Let’s pretend,” I say. “Working through the worst case scenario is a good way for me to work through my worries.”
“Okay. If we break up, you won’t get driven out of town. People like you for you, not because we’re dating. Believe it or not, there are a few divorced couples in Blissful who manage to co-exist in the same town. No one had to take sides. No one was ostracized.”
“Did they remain next door neighbors?”
He chuckles. “One of the ex-couples still lives together, just on different floors of the same house.”
I hate to bring her up, but I can’t ignore Quinn. “What about when Quinn came to town? You were angry.”
He’s thoughtful for a moment. “You’re right; I was.
It was the surprise of having her back, but also how she left me just like my dad left our family.
I’ve worked through all of that and now she’s staying in town, at least for a while, and I’m totally fine with it.
” He lets out a long breath and speaks softer.
It’s intimate, even though it’s over the phone.
“I have a good feeling about us. Believe me, if you were mine, I would never let you go.”
My blush takes over my whole body. I wish I were talking to him in person, because then I could touch him. Make sure he’s real.
“Same,” I say. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“Then there’s no reason for either of us to worry about what will happen if we don’t work out. Any other thoughts you care to share?”
I lay on my stomach on the bed with my face close to the phone. I feel calmer. “You’re really sexy when you play the guitar.”
He chuckles. “Good to know. I can definitely play into that.”
“I also really like you in work boots with the tool belt at your waist.”
“You’ll be seeing a lot of that when I start the renovation work at the bookstore.”
I smile at the image. “Can’t wait.”
“I like seeing you in those cowboy boots,” he says. “And cardigans.”
My chest grows warm at his words. “Cardigans?”
“Yeah. l apparently find the librarian look sexy.”
“I have a whole closet full of them. You can bet I’ll go back to my skirts and cardigans as soon as this store opens. Also, my eyes are getting to the point that I’ll need readers before too much longer.”
He groans. “I won’t be able to resist you.”
Look at me; I’m flirting. As lovely as this interlude is, I do have more concerns. “Drew?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m thirty-five. You’re twenty-eight. I’m seven years older than you.”
“It’s six-and-a-half years, not seven. But I don't care about our age difference. Do you?”
“Yes, but only because I’m getting the better end of the deal.”
“I don’t agree.”
“You could date someone six-and-a-half years younger than you without any pushback. But a thirty-five year-old woman? All your friends will think you’re crazy.”
“I don’t want a twenty-one-year-old girlfriend. I don’t care what anyone thinks. I want you.”
He is really good with his words.
I melt into my quilt, a bit breathless. “You’re sure this isn’t some residual crush from when you were ten, and I was nice to you?”
He laughs. “You knew I had a crush on you back then?”
“Roe mentioned it a few months ago.”
“What I feel for you is not a childish infatuation. My feelings for you are very adult. I told you. I have a good feeling about us.”
“Even after I ran away from you an hour ago?”
He laughs. “You didn’t run far.”
“When it comes to you, I don’t think I can.”
“Good. I want to keep you close.”
I feel the dopey smile on my lips. He’s so good to me.
“So, the date tomorrow?” he says into the silence. “How does seven sound?”
“I’ll be ready. But Drew, I don’t want to see you before then. I’m too nervous. I’ll make a fool of myself and ruin our date before it even starts.”
“We’ve been hanging out for weeks. There’s nothing you can do that will make me believe you’re a fool.”
“Jumping you the moment you walk into the bookstore and kissing your chin would change your mind.”
His laugh makes my stomach drop.
“I’d actually really like that.”
“Too bad,” I tell him. Look at me; I’m a flirt and a tease. “I don’t want to see you until seven.”
“‘Okay. Seven.”
It seems neither of us want to get off the phone. We listen to each other breathe for a bit.
“Drew, will you tell me what Quinn talked to you about?”
He recounts their conversation and explains more about his relationship with his dad. When we finally say goodnight for the third time tonight, it’s hours past my bedtime. My last thought before sleep pulls me under is of him.