Chapter 7
FREYA
As I wait for my friend Charlotte outside the restaurant where she’s going to be having dinner with Jake this evening, I grapple again with the ethics of this challenge. I really don’t like upsetting people. Even people like Jake Stone.
I say people like Jake Stone. There are very few people like him.
He might be the only one. The most annoying person ever born.
I’ve literally never met anyone else who gets under my skin in the exact way he has done on the two occasions we’ve met.
He isn’t overtly unpleasant (except to me), it’s more his air.
Like he knows he’s right. Except he isn’t.
And he isn’t loud or brash by demeanour, but people still just listen when he speaks, because he has this really irritating air of authority.
(As commented on, on social media, by many of the viewers of the show.) And it’s incredibly annoying when someone is extremely authoritative and yet wrong.
And he knows, it seems, that my books cause relationship break-ups.
I mean, please. Of course they frigging don’t.
My thoughts are interrupted by Charlotte’s arrival.
‘Freya!’ She envelops me in her arms and a wave of her gorgeous perfume hits me. I immediately worry that Jake’s going to love the scent as much as I do.
Which brings me back to not wanting to upset anyone.
It took a lot of thought deciding who to ask to go on this blind date, given that in any dating situation there’s the potential for misery.
I don’t want to set Jake up with someone who will fall for him who he will not fall for back. That would be awful.
And I also don’t in fact want him to fall for someone who doesn’t feel the same way. I don’t like him, but I don’t actually wish ill on him (other than for him to lose this challenge and be forced to apologise to me).
But obviously I’m not going to achieve anything if I introduce Jake to women he would realistically never hit it off with romantically and then he… doesn’t hit it off with them. That clearly wouldn’t shake his belief in finding love at all.
So I think I need to introduce him to women who are exactly his type and have him discover that he should on paper be attracted to them but he is not.
And I need to go for every single romance trope I can manage to cover, so that there’s no possibility he can think it’s the way he met them.
And while doing all of that I do at all times need to do my best to ensure that the women he meets won’t fall for him and get upset.
Unless he also falls for them (in which case I will have lost the challenge but at least I won’t have caused any misery).
It’s a complete minefield.
I realised quickly that I can’t set him up with strangers – I have to be able to explain the exact situation to his future dates, to minimise the potential for hurt – so I can’t do any Tindering.
So I’m limited to my single friends and acquaintances.
I wasted a lot of good writing time doing some internet research on him to try to work out the type of woman he usually goes for.
It was fruitless. He doesn’t seem to be on any social media.
He is on his law firm’s website but clearly there are no photos of anyone he’s dated on there.
I found one photo of him with his ex-wife, a very beautiful brunette.
But I’m not sure how much a photo of one ex (however significant) helps.
I also think that – assuming he has a physical type – it would be awful of me to try to find an ex-wife-lookalike for him.
In the end, I decided that the way forward for this first date was to go for someone who is lovely and attractive, not currently looking for love unless it comes right up and slaps her in the face, so hopefully there’s no chance of her getting hurt if and when it doesn’t work out, and does a job that I know Jake hates: romance author.
Charlotte has sold literally millions of Mills the TV company had to pull strings.
Charlotte nods and says, ‘That is true. I hear they operate a several-month-long waiting list.’ She’s still frowning a little, though. Then, suddenly, her demeanour brightens. ‘I know. Why don’t you come in with us for a bit? Just for the beginning?’
I shake my head, as sorrowfully as I can manage. ‘Although I’d love to, I can’t, because it’s a table for two.’ Thank goodness.
Charlotte shakes her own head. ‘No, no. I read about it. You spend a little bit of time in the bar first, getting acclimatised to the darkness, before they lead you through to your table. You can come and have a drink with us before we eat.’
It’s fully pitch-dark in there, so that you (according to their website) savour both the flavours of your food and your companions’ company without getting distracted by visuals.
They recommend that you arrive separately so you don’t see each other at all beforehand, and you can leave separately too.
They have several different entrances for that very reason.
I love the concept and will be looking forward to hearing about Charlotte’s experience.
I don’t want to join them, however; I have no wish to see Jake.
I just came to meet Charlotte before she went inside to thank her again and give her more of a personal low-down on things, and check that she’s definitely okay about doing it.
I can’t say no to a drink, though, because she’s my friend, she’s lovely, and she’s basically doing me an enormous favour.
‘You can obviously back out if you’d like to,’ I say, really hoping that she won’t.
I don’t want to have to organise a different evening this week.
Sonja extracted written promises from us that we would do something on a weekly basis with exceptions only for illness, holidays and extreme personal events.
‘No, no, I’m here and as you say what’s the worst that can happen. Especially since you’re coming in with me to start off with. And I do think it will be an interesting experience. Plus I saw him on TV and he’s gorgeous. So smouldery.’
I clamp my lips together to stop myself from correcting her. She’s got the wrong ‘sm’ word. What he actually is, is smug. And smirky as well. Not smelly, I’ll give him that. But not smouldery either.
‘You’ll have a fantastic time,’ I say.
‘Starting with a lovely drink with you,’ she says, and grabs my hand. ‘Let’s go.’
The second we get inside, I realise that I am in fact quite pleased that Charlotte brought me in. It’s very interesting being in a social situation operated in complete pitch-darkness. It will also be interesting witnessing the first meeting between Charlotte and Jake.
We’re being led by the hands by a woman towards the bar.