Dick Infatuation
ANOTHER ASA YOUNG ORIGINAL
ASA
There were a thousand useful things I could be doing right now.
My brother was officially married. I could be on the dance floor, swag surfing with my siblings and the rest of the lit wedding guests.
I could be tryin’ to holla at any of the single women in attendance. I could be drinking from the open bar.
But… nah.
Instead of spending the rest of the night celebrating Duke and Demi, instead of enjoying the fact that everyone I love was currently in the same room, instead of taking shots with Gemma, I was transfixed by the woman I once thought hung the moon and the stars.
Larissa Reid.
Back in the day, we lived in the Brentwood neighborhood of Los Angeles after my father took a teaching position at UCLA. Those were good times. My godfather, Jax Starks, lived down the street. Next door to him were the Reids. Rissa, Zara, and Ezekial fit right into the family.
Even at a young age, I felt lonely. I was Baby Boy, too young to play with and too much of a burden to my older siblings who wanted to play with their friends.
But Rissa… she never made me feel like a little kid, and she always snuck me candy.
Sour Patch Kids. She spent a lot of time at our house because she was Paityn’s best friend and she always paid attention to me.
I remembered the first day I realized she wasn’t my sister.
I remembered the very moment her smile took my breath away.
And I remembered the day one brush of her arm against mine changed everything.
At five years old, my sole focus was getting to The Lion King Parade at Disneyland.
She accidentally bumped into me, then apologized with an innocent touch of her hand to my cheek.
My little ass thought my dick had turned into a stick and I ran away screaming at the top of my lungs.
And because I’d been fully engrossed in a bunch of crazy-ass cartoons, I thought I was going to blow up or some shit.
Fall off a cliff. Melt into a puddle. Grow branches like a tree.
Something dramatic and entirely within the realm of possibility in my elementary mind.
I couldn’t figure out why it had happened.
Shit, I had four sisters. None of them had ever elicited that type of reaction.
Not even the girls in my class had caused the sickness.
I was depressed the whole day, even after my dick reverted to its natural form.
At dinner that night, I announced to my whole family that I was going to die because my “wee wee” had turned into a hard statue.
The laughter that had ensued should’ve destroyed my self-confidence. It was fucked up. But I held my head high and made my case. Even back then, I instinctively knew to keep some shit to myself. I didn’t say her name or what happened to seal my fate.
That day, I learned four very important things.
One, Larissa Reid was a witch with the power to turn my penis a deadly weapon, but two, she was also an angel who’d made me feel things I’d never felt before.
And three, Rissa couldn’t have been my sister because she was too nice to be a Young.
Finally, four, to keep my shit to myself.
Feeling a hand on my back, I turned to find Gemma staring at me curiously. I smiled at her. “What’s up?”
“Are you okay?” she asked with a wide grin. “You missed it. Your dad and Jax did a cute little rap battle on the dance floor.”
Chuckling, I peered over her shoulder at my father and his best friend happily doing to the robot to a familiar Jackson 5 song. “I’m glad I didn’t see that.”
“Funny as hell.” She frowned. “What are you doing over here in the corner?” She followed my line of sight to the bar, where Rissa was sipping a drink. “Still, Asa?”
My unrequited crush had followed me into high school.
Every time Rissa visited Paityn, I couldn’t help myself.
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a monk. I fucked plenty.
But damn … She was still the most beautiful woman in any room.
At one point, it bothered me so much that I’d confessed my feelings to Gemma during a frustrating game of Madden 2005.
“I thought we agreed to never talk about that shit again,” I said, raising a brow.
My best friend cracked up. “I’m just sayin’. I got over my crush on Blake the moment she cussed my ass out for drinking her juice on the hottest day of the summer.”
I barked out a laugh. Gemma was Jax and his wife Ana’s goddaughter. She was my first friend, the only person who knew most of my secrets.
“I’m telling you,” she continued, “your sister has always been mean as fuck. But I’m glad she counts me among the people she loves.”
Shaking my head, I agreed with her. Blake had her bitchy ways, but she was solid, loyal. “Yeah, she definitely stands ten toes down for us.”
“Anyway, I can’t believe you’re still enamored with Rissa after all these years.”
I glanced at Rissa again. “She’s sad,” I mused.
Gemma nodded. “She just finalized her divorce.”
My eyes flashed to her. “What? She left Rick?”
“Where have you been?”
I shrugged. “Minding my business.”
“They split up late last year. I overheard Jax and Ana talking about it with her mother, Regine.”
“What happened?”
“Okay, so now you want to get into somebody else’s business?”
I let my gaze travel over Rissa, from her high-heeled sandals, up to her the toned leg peeking out of the slit in her black dress to her face. Her brown skin glowed in the dim lighting of the hotel ballroom. Nearly thirty years later, and she still made me feel things I’d never felt before.
“You could go talk to her,” Gemma muttered. “You look like you want to.”
I turned to face my friend. “Why do you sound jealous? I thought we decided a long time ago that we’re not it for each other.” I smirked. “But I’m always down to test it out again.”
She bumped me with her hip. “Man, you already know that’s not going to work.”
A long time ago, Gemma suggested we try to date each other.
Since I wasn’t with anyone else at the time, I agreed.
That was my first mistake. The second one was our first kiss.
The moment I made my move, I knew it would never work.
Not because she wasn’t attractive. Gemma was fly in a natural, never-needed-makeup way.
Clear skin, beautiful eyes, soft hair, banging body.
But she really was like a sister. Correction, a step-sister.
Clearly, we weren’t related because I definitely appreciated her beauty.
At the same time, it felt like I was kissing a sister.
Which made it impossible to get my head in the game with her.
So we decided to let our ten-minute relationship die a quick, painless death.
“She is fine,” Gemma added under her breath.
Then, there was that. While Gemma came out as bisexual, she tended to prefer women to men.
I raised a questioning brow. “So you’re looking for a girlfriend?”
Shrugging, she said, “Maybe. My last relationship with JaMarcus was enough to make me never want to fuck with a man again.”
“Bro, don’t talk to me about that man. Punk-ass pressed charges against me like a lil’ bitch.”
“Not that I’m trying to defend him, but you did break into his house and pack him up.”
Not my best moment, but . . . “He put his hands on you. He should be grateful that’s all I did.”
She shot me a sad smile. “I know.”
“How are you doing really?”
“I have my days. I really wanted that baby.”
Gemma miscarried her baby during Blake’s nonwedding to Lennox.
I would never forget the pain in her eyes when I rushed to her side at the hospital.
She’d cried for days and I’d stayed with her the whole time.
Missed the wedding reception, the Sunday brunch, and the actual small ceremony two days later. Long story.
“I’ve actually been thinking of finding a donor.”
Surprised, I asked, “Really?”
She sighed heavily. “Yeah. It’s important to me. But now that I know you’re an expert . . .”
I elbowed her gently. “Come on, Gem.”
“Seriously? I think that’s cool.”
Waving a dismissive hand, I mumbled, “Whatever, man. I’m just glad you’re not with that busta-ass nigga anymore, and that he won’t be your baby daddy.”
“Well, remember our pact?”
I retreated a step. “Nah, dog. I’m not going to be your baby daddy. That’s in the past.”
“Okay, okay.”
“And when I made that promise, we were drunk.”
On Gemma’s twenty-fifth birthday, we hit up Cancun. And she’d picked the worst moment, when I could barely stand up straight, to ask if I would be her baby daddy if she didn’t find a suitable match before she turned thirty-five.
“Besides, my sperm donor days are over.”
“You keep saying that.”
“Because I’m serious,” I tossed back.
Gemma stared at the floor. “I don’t know what I was thinking messing with him.”
I pulled her into an embrace. “You were thinking with that big heart of yours. The one that is always drawn to fucked up people.”
“Bro.” She wrenched herself from my grasp and smacked my arm. “Don’t play me. I learned my lesson.”
“So you say. We’ll see when you introduce me to the next love of your life.”
“You said you were never gonna throw him in my face.”
“I wouldn’t say I was throwing him in your face. I’m reminding you of your promise to be more discerning when picking your partners. Red flags are never invisible.”
She rolled her eyes dramatically. “Shut up. Anyway, you gon’ step to Rissa or what?”
I placed a finger over my mouth. “If I do, I wouldn’t tell anybody.”
“You can tell me. Your secrets are always safe with me.”
I stole a quick glance at Rissa again. “Same.”
“Bro!” Gemma called out. “You got it bad.”
Forcing my attention back to Gemma, I said, “You know I always got your back. And I’ll do anything for you.”
She hugged me. “I’m aware. I love you for it.”
I kissed the top of her head. “Don’t look too hard. But I did notice quite a few ladies clocking your movements.”
Gemma stiffened and nervously fluffed her hair. “Really? Cute?”
“Very.”
She grinned. “Where?”