17. Mariah
Mariah
“AHHHH!!!” I screamed into the phone as I heard Rosama's voicemail for the millionth time. “I can’t take this shit anymore!”
I paced the living room, scratching my head.
I don’t know why I missed him.
I don’t know why I wanted him.
But I did. I wanted us to fix things, and him denying that was sending me over the edge.
I slid my feet into my slippers, grabbed my keys off the entryway table, and walked out the front door, slamming it behind me and getting into my car as I called his phone again.
The traffic through the city was pissing me off as if it wasn’t normal, but I wanted—needed to get to Brooklyn.
It took me an hour, but I finally pulled up to where he usually be and found Dre sitting on the steps.
“Dre!” I yelled as I got outta the car.
He rolled his eyes as soon as he saw me coming.
“Mannn!! Come on, Mariah, go ahead on.”
I shook my head. “Just tell me where he is. I am trying to fix my marriage.”
Dre sucked his teeth. “Mariah, you do this every few weeks. Brah don’t want to fix shit with you.”
“It’s not your place to comment on that!”
“It’s my place when you are bringin’ it to my steps!” he yelled at me.
The nigga across from Dre started laughing.
“And who the fuck are you?”
“Blaze, Mariah, we go way back.”
“Oh,” I responded, really not giving a fuck. “I didn’t know you got out.”
“I did, and I know where your man is.”
I stepped closer to him. “Can you tell me, please? He hasn’t responded to me, hasn’t called, texted, or come home in a minute. I just want to make sure that he is okay.”
They both laughed at me.
“That nigga,” Blaze said. “Your nigga…is out with his new bitch.”
They laughed in my face again as tears fell, and Dre walked down to me.
“Rosama told me he asked you to sign the divorce papers,” Dre said softly.
“He did,” I responded.
“Ro is not feelin’ it anymore.”
“I don’t care what he is feelin’. Marriage is until death do us part.” I walked away from Dre and back to my car. “He is not walking away from me.”
I pulled away with no destination, still trying to call Rosama, but I wasn't getting an answer. I cried as I drove, feeling like shit when my dash lit up and a call came through. I had to wipe my eyes to see who it was. I was hoping it was Rosama, but it was Shyheim.
“Hello?” I said low.
“Hey, pretty girl. How are you?”
I cleared my throat. “I don’t know, to be honest. I am having a bad day.”
Shyheim paused for a second. “Are you out right now?”
“I am…”
“If I send you my address, will you come through?”
I looked out the window while I sat at a red light.
“Yeah…I guess.”
As soon as I said that, I got a ding with a message from him.
“There’s my address. Take your time getting to me.”
We hung up, and I drove to his house, the whole time thinking about me and Rosama and ways I could get him to come around to me, to us, and fix our relationship.
Twenty minutes later, I pulled up in front of his house, and as I got out of my car, he was opening his front door, walking out to meet me.
We met in the middle of his sidewalk, and he wrapped his arms around me, and my knees almost buckled.
“I fixed some pasta and got some wine,” he said softly.
I pulled away from him. “You cooked?”
He nodded with a slight smile. “I did. I was calling you to come eat with me.”
I looked at him softly, and he took me inside. As I looked around, his house was spotless and smelled like mahogany teakwood and pasta.
“Your house is nice,” I said, following him to the kitchen.
“Thank you. But I be lonely here sometimes.”
I looked up at him slightly as I took a seat at the island.
“So, how was your day?” he asked as he poured me some wine.
I shook my head. “I don’t know, my day has been a lot. My head is all over the place.”
“Why is that?”
“I don’t know if I should be talkin’ to you about this.”
“Why? I want to be an ear if you need it.”
I took a sip of wine and exhaled. “I hate it, but I want my husband back. I've been trying to talk to him, been trying to see him. He’s ignoring me. His friends think I'm a joke. I hate that I still love him after he hurt me the way he did.”
Shyheim nodded. “You love hard. It’s nothin’ wrong with that when you’re being loved by the right person.”
“But I wasn’t, and I want him to love me so bad.”
Shyheim walked ova with our plates in our hands and took a seat beside me.
“I don’t know your husband, but I can say that I know for a fact that I am not like him at all. I can treat you right, and I can help you heal.”
“How can I heal from somebody that I am not ready to heal from?”
Shyheim wiped my hair from the side of my face.
“Just let me be there for you.”
I nodded and leaned ova, and he kissed me. He was so soft, so caring, everything that I knew that I needed, but for some odd reason I didn’t want at that time.
For the rest of the night, my mind rested. We didn’t fuck, nothing more than soft kisses on my hands, shoulder, neck, and arms.
We laid on his sofa and put on a movie.
“I could get used to this,” he said softly with a smile.
I smiled back.
I wanted to agree with him so bad, but I couldn’t, deep down. For some reason, I couldn’t let Rosama go.