19. Mariah
Mariah
It was one forty-five in the morning, and I was already up getting ready for work.
I was trying to find the peace I wanted Rosama to give me on my own, so I lit some candles and was playing some soft music, doing my morning skincare routine that I had been slipping on doing for months, when I heard my front door unlock.
“Rosama?” I yelled out as I jumped up from my vanity with a smile on my face.
I walked over to the top of the steps, and he was looking up at me with a look that I knew was not good.
I started to back away as he headed up the steps.
“Nooo… Rosama…what is wrong?!” I yelled as I ran into the room. As he started to run after me, I closed the door behind me and locked it.
“WHAT THE FUCK YOU DOIN’ GOIN’ TO MY TRAP?!” he yelled at me as he started to beat on the door.
“AHHH!” I screamed as he beat harder on the door. “I just wanted to talk to you. I haven’t seen or heard from you once again,” I managed to get out through him beating on the door.
“UNLOCK THE DOOR!” Rosama yelled.
“NO!” I cried out, trying to find a place to hide myself.
“UNLOCK THE FUCKIN’ DOOR, MARIAH!”
“NO, ROSAMA! I JUST WANT YOU TO TALK TO ME!”
It went quiet for a second. I took a breath, thinking he left and was about to walk out and check when the door came flying off the hinges and hit the floor with a big boom.
I tried to back up to the bathroom as he walked toward me, but I hit the wall instead.
“Rosama, please…”
He yanked me up in the air by my nightgown.
“Bitch, what the fuck is wrong with you? Why the fuck can’t you understand that I don’t want you!” he screamed at me.
I was so scared I thought I was going to pee myself.
“Rosama, I just miss you—”
“I don’t miss you! I fucked your best friend ‘cause I couldn’t stand yo’ ass anymore. What the fuck don’t you get?”
He dropped me to the floor and stepped away from me. I sat there for few crying.
“I need you to sign the fuckin’ divorce papers,” he said, his voice deeper than usual.
I wiped my face and stood up slowly. “Rosama, I understand how you feel. But that is not how I feel. I still love you. I am trying to fight for our marriage. Why can’t you? Feelings can change.”
“My feelings for you is not goin’ to change, Mariah. I haven’t lived here in months. I don’t call you, I don’t check on you, I am not taking any steps to fix us the way that you are because I don’t want to.”
His phone rang, a different ringtone than the normal iPhone tone.
“Yeah, baby,” he said low as he picked up his phone. He tried to move away from me, but I kept moving closer.
“Give me a few, and I will be right there.”
He hung up the phone and turned back to me.
“Is that the reason why you don’t want to fix things with me?” I asked.
“Mariah, it don’t even matter. Just sign the fuckin’ papers,” he said as he walked down the steps.
“No.”
Rosama turned around and looked at me once he reached the bottom of the steps.
“You have until my birthday to take care of the shit.”
“And if I don’t?”
He paused with his hand on the doorknob. “Then your mama will be puttin’ you on a shirt. I’ll be labeled a widow and carry the fuck on before I let you stop any motion in my life.”
I was stunned that he even talked to me like that.
“FUCK YOU, ROSAMA!” I yelled as he walked out of my house, slamming the door behind him.
But I wasn’t done. I threw some sweatpants on over my gown, ran down the steps, slid into my slippers, grabbed my keys, and raced out of the house just as he was pulling down the street. I jumped in my car and followed behind him, not too close ‘cause he knew my car.
We moved through traffic slow. During stops, I tried to use my phone camera to zoom in on his phone to see who he was talking to, but he never stayed still long enough.
After a while, he took the exit to the Bronx. I was confused about who he knew in the Bronx and why he would be pulling up as late as it was. He hit a few side streets, then pulled up to a house.
I parked a lil’ ways away, but still had a good view of him walking up the steps and knocking on the door. I pulled my phone out to get a picture of the bitch that thought she was gonna take my man away from me.
The door opened, the bitch walked out, and I dropped my phone into my lap.
“Nylah?” I said to myself. “My fuckin’ dress designer.”
I watched her smile hard as hell as he picked her up, kissed her, and carried her inside her home.
My mind started to spiral, thinking about me pouring my heart out to her and her friends about what I was dealing with, and the whole time, she’s fucking him.
Tears formed in my eyes, my heart was racing, and my hand was shaking. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to go and knock on her door and ask her what the fuck she was doing with my husband, but then I remembered my issue is not with her, for real. It is with him.
I picked up my phone to make a call when I got a text from Shyheim. At the same time, Courtney was calling.
“Courtney,” I said, trying to hide the emotions in my voice. “I-I...I won’t be in today.”
“Oookay…” she said curiously. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, just not feeling the best.”
“Okay, well let me know if you need anything.”
We hung up, and I pulled away from Nylah’s house, making sure I remembered her address as I made a call to my stepbrother Gary.
“Hey,” I said as soon as he picked up. “I need to come see you for something.”
Gary gave me the okay and sent me the address, and I was off to Jersey.
On the drive, I couldn’t stop thinking about the way Rosama looked at me. How I used to look at him and saw a man who loved me. Now I see somebody I don’t even know. Then my mind flashed to the way he looked at Nylah and how he smiled and embraced her in a way that he never did me.
I was hurt, so damn hurt, but I was over being hurt and was going to get even. I was gonna get even in a way that Rosama had no choice but to call me for help.
It took me almost two hours, but I pulled up to my stepbrother's house. I sat in the car thinking about what I was about to do for a second, making sure I meant the choice I was about to make. As I was thinking, I got an email from Rosama’s lawyer.
Just checking to see if you signed the papers yet.
I closed the email, got out of the car, and walked up Gary’s sidewalk. It was still early, and he had me standing on his sketchy ass porch longer than I wanted to. When he finally came to the door, I pushed my way inside.
“Hey, you good?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yeah, I needed to get something off you.”
“Okay…what is that?”
I looked around his place. “You know…”
He leaned toward me. “Huh?”
I repeated myself. “You know…”
Gary exhaled. “Mariah, it is too early for this shit. What do you want?”
“I need some powder.”
His eyes got big. “I thought you was off that.”
“I am,” I said low. “I was only on it when Rosama first left. I am good now.”
“Then why do you need it?” he asked.
“For somebody…a coworker.”
Gary stared at me for a second. “Fine, how much do you want?”
“Umm…an 8 ball.”
Gary looked at me crazy, but didn’t ask anything else as he went and got it. Once he came back with it and handed it to me, I Apple paid him the money and stuffed it in my purse.
“Thanks, brah.”
He walked me to the door. “Mhm, Mariah, be careful.”
I walked down his sidewalk, hopped in my car, and did the dash back to New York.
When I got back around there, I went by Nylah's house, and Rosama’s car was still parked in front.
I parked like two cars away and put my purse in my lap and took a deep breath.
“You can do it, Mariah. You can do it.”
I pulled the 8 ball out of my purse and stared at it, knowing what could happen if I did what I was about to do.
I kissed it, leaving my red lipstick print on it, and got out of my car, leaving it running, and walked over to his car while unzipping my purse.
I looked around once I reached his driver's side door and pulled on the handle.
It was unlocked.
As quick as I could, I pulled that 8 ball out of my purse, slung it under his seat, and fast-walked back to my car. Once I was in my driver's seat, I let out the breath that I was holding since I left my car.
After that, I waited, and that shit wasn’t fun. I messaged Shyheim back, letting him know I was okay and watched the news on my phone. I made a few appointments that I've been meaning to do online, then I thought about what they were probably doing inside and got pissed.
By the time her front door opened, it was seven thirty in the morning. She was wearing a hoodie of his that I bought him, smiling harder than before with her head all over her head.
“I’ma see you after you get off,” he yelled at her as he walked to his car. “Call me if you need me.”
She blew him a kiss, and he got in his car and pulled off.
“Hmm…that nigga won’t be seeing anybody,” I mumbled to myself as I pulled out my phone and made a call.
“Hello, 911. I just saw a drug exchange, and the guy pulled off in a BMW truck with license plate BKRO5.”
“Okay, ma’am,” the dispatcher said. “I will let an officer know.”
I hung up with a smile on my face and went home to wait for his call to save him, and when I did, my man would be coming home to me.