23. Chapter 23
Nick
Restless doesn’t even begin to cover how I feel. The night breeze cools my skin, but my thoughts are anything but calm. Lydia’s smile lingers in my mind, bright and stubborn, refusing to fade no matter how hard I try to focus on anything else.
Walking away from her house to my truck is a Herculean effort. All I want is to turn around, take her inside, and fuck her until we’re both sweaty and incoherent messes.
And then I’d slow it down.
I want to make love to her, deep and unhurried, memorizing every inch of her body. I want to wake beside her and watch the early-morning sunlight spill across her face. I want to trail my fingers along her bare back and watch that faint smile bloom as she stirs awake.
I want to run her a bath, fill it with bubbles, give her somewhere to exhale. A place where she doesn’t have to brace for the world. Where she doesn’t have to carry the weight of what she’s survived.
I want to show her how good life can be. How deserving she is of a patient, steady partner. A man who will never belittle her. Who would rather cut off his own arm than raise it in anger. A man I desperately want to be.
If someone told me a month ago that I’d meet a woman who would turn my life upside down and make me picture a future I never dared imagine, I would’ve laughed.
But the truth is…I would welcome it. I want a partner. A life to share with someone. A family of my own.
I’ve only known Lydia a short time, but I can already see all of it with her.
She could be my future.
I make the drive home in a daze, my mind elsewhere. Luckily, I can do it in my sleep. Once home, I hop in the shower.
Standing under the hot spray, I’m inundated with thoughts of Lydia here with me.
Her soft, naked body in front of me, slick with soap, dripping wet.
Her hands gripping my shoulders, kissing each one, sliding lower as she works down my stomach until she’s on her knees, blue eyes wide, dark lashes wet, looking up at me with mischief.
Her lips curl into a wicked grin as she takes me into her mouth, one hand wrapped around the base of my cock, the other gripping my ass.
She takes me deep as I drag both hands through her hair, unable to look away.
My hips flex without thought as if I’m fucking her mouth, the moan she lets out absolutely intoxicating.
She digs her nails into my ass, taking me deeper, faster, and when I’m close to coming, I try to pull back, but she holds me there, forcing me to shoot hot cum down her throat.
She swallows greedily, pulling off with a soft pop, licking her lips as she smiles up at me.
With thoughts of Lydia giving me the greatest blowjob of my life, I come against the shower wall, breath shallow, knees weak from one of the most explosive orgasms I’ve ever had. I rinse off again and step onto the bath mat, spotting the steam fogged up on the mirror and window.
Damn. How long was I in there?
I grab a towel and dry off, not bothering with underwear or pajamas. I crawl into bed completely naked, crossing my hands behind my head as I look up at the ceiling.
I said I wouldn’t take things further before she’s legally divorced, but my resolve feels weaker by the second. I want her. I want her badly. And not just physically. I want her to be mine in every sense of the word.
I want her for keeps.
As I lie here, my mind drifts, replaying every moment. Her laughter, the way she looked at me under the porch light, the softness of her skin beneath my fingertips. Even now, my body aches for her. I can’t help but imagine what it will feel like when everything I want becomes real.
If everything I want becomes real.
I doze off at some point, and sleep better than I have in months, dreams of a beautiful blonde filling my head.
When I wake, the sky is still indigo, the world quiet.
A strange peace settles over me as I stretch at the edge of the bed.
There’s a lightness in my chest, a subtle hope humming beneath my skin.
Coffee calls, but before my feet hit the floor, I allow myself a few more quiet moments, thinking of Lydia and the possibility of a new beginning.