42. Ivory
Working at a desk had never been her forte. It didn’t take long before she ended up in the living room on Adrian’s lap, both happily squished in the recliner.
She balanced a textbook over one knee, a notebook and highlighters on the other. Behind her, Adrian read a new fantasy book his mom gifted him for Christmas. It should have been more apparent he liked to read since his bookshelves were well stocked and maintained, but she half expected him to watch TV or play video games like her brother.
He traced soothing patterns through the hair at the nape of her neck, and instead of the background noise she’d grown accustomed to, comfortable silence blanketed the room. She'd been more productive in the past few hours than a whole day at the dorms. Even so, it left her feeling just as worn out. She tapped her pen on the paper, clicked it shut, and let out a sigh. Looking up from her work, she noticed the windows had darkened as night descended.
“How’s it going?” Adrian set his book aside and wrapped his arms around her waist. “You’ve been at it for a while.”
“Almost done. I only have a few questions left.” Not that those last few would be easy, as she’d marked the hard ones and saved them for last. But any parts she couldn’t figure out would have to be summed down to an educated guess and brought to the professor for help later.
“Almost done with this assignment, or done with everything due on Monday?” Adrian clarified.
She rolled her eyes, knowing he couldn’t see. Her black knight had turned into a full-time drill sergeant. “I finished everything due on Monday and Tuesday if you must know. I still don’t get some parts, but can ask for help after class.”
“Good.” He gave her a kiss on her shoulder. “Is ten minutes enough to finish your last few questions?”
“Yep, I think so. Staring at the book any longer certainly isn’t going to help. If studying by osmosis worked, I’d sleep on the darn class notes.”
He chuckled. “I’ve heard having something to look forward to after work helps with motivation, so I thought a bath would be a good way to start our evening.”
“Ooh, a bath?” The way he’d said start instead of finish had her body stirring to life, especially after taking a backseat during her studies.
He grinned. “Mind letting me up?”
She shifted her books so he could move without disturbing their precarious balance, and he untangled himself from the chair. A sly grin formed on his lips as he disappeared into the bathroom. Butterflies flitted around in her stomach.
He’d been right—getting all the school stuff out of the way had been a wise decision. Something told her she’d never be able to focus after what he had planned.
Or maybe because he had something planned.
Rushing water echoed from the bathroom. She changed positions, looked over her homework, scribbled a half-hearted answer, and shut the book.
Restless without Adrian, she picked up her phone and scrolled through social media to see what everyone else was up to. A post from her mom popped up, showing one of her brother’s senior photos and another of an acceptance letter. She straightened.
Brey got into a school? That was great! Which one?
Adrian’s cell rang on the kitchen table. She glanced up as he answered and walked out onto the porch. Then, she returned her attention to the post and finished scanning what her mom had written.
Her smile faded, finger frozen on the screen.
Why did reading this get her insides all twisted up? Her mom seemed happy, and Brey must be too, even though he’d only be attending the community college closest to their home. He’d get to work towards his degree and have access to all his gaming equipment at the same time. Maybe even find a way to intersect the two.
She read through the text again. Her mom sounded so proud.
That was it.
She’d never gotten encouragement her senior year. There had been no congratulatory post. No praise for her graduation or acceptance into college. In fact, she’d heard more about how her ex went to Harvard than her own plans.
Not that it should matter. But as she thought about it, accepting her feelings instead of invalidating them, the grip they had began to lift. If someone was going to be proud of her, she wanted it to be for who she was, not for where she attended school or what she did for a living. Even if it hurt that the person she loved didn’t see those things in her, it didn’t mean they weren’t there.
I need you to see you’re more capable than you think, Iv. I want you to set yourself free from doubt.
Adrian’s words from earlier resurfaced in her mind and the tightness in her chest all but disappeared.. There was no reason to doubt herself or to question her worth. She knew the internet hardly reflected reality—at home, Brey wouldn’t be off the hook. He’d put in a lot of effort for this, so she posted a happy comment with lots of emojis.
Looking for her black knight, she found him behind the closed glass door on the porch, shuffling around in the dark. One hand held the phone to his ear while the other clenched into a fist. A frown etched deeper and deeper into his face, and muffled bits of the conversations began to rise in volume.
Her brows furrowed to mirror his. Something must’ve happened, and she was willing to bet it was a lot more serious than a disheartening social media post. He ran a hand over his stubble, muscles tense, veins standing out along his forearm. That wasn’t a good sign.
She stood and debated whether to join him or check on the bath, but before reaching a conclusion, he ended the call and slid open the door.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
Tension snapped through his shoulders and chest as he flexed his fingers. “Raptor called.” His eyes softened as he looked at her, but old shadows resurfaced from their depths. “I have to go to The Club. Some asshole punched Riri while she was bartending.”
“What?” she whispered. “Is she okay? Who did it—Jace?”
“She’s all right.” Adrian forced a crooked grin that broke into a scowl. “It’s not her first scuffle, by a long shot. Raptor said he had it covered, but—” He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “It was Jun, Jace’s older brother. I don’t know if Jace was involved, but either way, it’s a warning.”
Her heart plummeted into her stomach. They hadn’t done so much as plan their next move, but the situation had already gotten worse. At this rate, they couldn’t afford to wait for things to die down. The more cautious they tried to be, the more people got hurt in the process.
“I’m going, too,” she declared. Like it or not, she wouldn’t let Adrian deal with this alone. The last time he got this angry, Jace had threatened her at the Halloween party. She’d let it happen that night. Watched in slow motion as the world spun in different directions. Not tonight.
As she spun to go change in the bedroom, he blew out a long exhale and followed. “I’d much rather you stay. Take a bath and relax. I’ll try not to be long.”
She shook her head while pulling off her shirt. “I won’t be able to do any of that while not knowing what’s going on. I want to be there. By your side.” The warm touch of his hands stilled her, gliding from her shoulders down her arms. She turned to face him and pulled his hands into hers. “That’s where I belong, right?”
Her heart hammered in her chest.
“Yes, but—” He hesitated, lips pursed and pulse ticking on his forehead.
“That’s part of this, our agreement,” she continued. “Being there when things get hard. You taught me so much today…let me be your balance, too.”
Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and pressed their foreheads together. After another minute, he spoke. “Okay. You can come.” Then he added in a whisper, “I just can’t let anyone else I love get hurt.”
Her breath caught.
He loved her.
Before either of them could say more, she kissed him. Their hands tightened. He froze as if he was afraid to move. Afraid to let his control slip even for a moment.
She didn’t care if it did.
His love and his hurt, his anger and his pain, and everything beyond it belonged to her just as much as she belonged to him. Withholding them would feel like tearing apart her own soul, denying what she’d already pledged to give. She could heal him the same way he healed her. Pressing herself to his chest, she offered all she had in their kiss.
At last, he came back to life, holding her as if fate itself might try to rip her away. He kissed her until they were both out of breath but desperate for more.
She started to form the words to mumble it back, but he kissed her again and stole the phrase before it left her lips. “Not now,” he whispered, then pulled away and spoke sternly. “If you come with me, I need to be next to you at all times. Don’t leave me for a single minute, understand?”
She nodded. “Okay.”
“Good.” He squared his shoulders, walked over to his dresser, opened a drawer, and pulled out a gun. Her gaze locked onto the sleek metal, never having seen one in real life. Never been presented with the real threat of death. She didn’t have to ask if he was willing to use it.
Noticing her gaze, he tucked it away behind his back. “Just in case. Don’t be scared.”
“I’m not.”
She hurried to finish changing, thankful she’d packed a black dress in case they decided to go out tomorrow.
By the time she remembered to shut off the water in the bathroom, it had almost begun to overflow. Ripples dispersed under her fingertips, hot to the touch as she skimmed the surface. No doubt it’d be ice cold by the time they returned.