3. Gully
Gully
I knew Iris was worried about meeting everyone. I was worried about everyone meeting Iris, because they could be a lot. We were also a tight knit group, which didn’t mean we didn’t include new people, I just knew it could be intimidating when everyone shared a history of some sort or was related in some way. Thane was the brother of Ruby, which made him Finn’s brother-in-law; Amelie was practically our cousin as she’d been part of the Callaghan family since she was small as she’d grown up next door to them. Clover, Fleur and Romy had been friends since school. Grayson was the town’s doctor, and Cassian, who was Romy’s husband, was the headteacher at Puffin Bay’s primary school. Romy’s first husband was the man for whom the memorial was dedicated, losing his life saving that of a teenage boy, leaving behind Romy and Heidi, their daughter who was just a few months old. I hadn’t lived in Puffin Bay when that happened, but the memory of him was interwoven into the fabric of the town.
Seeing the place through Iris’ eyes was interesting. We knew everyone who lived here. We knew the town’s seasons and moods as well, dictated by the calendar and the moon. It was all new to her. She’d notice things that would pass me by, she’d perceive things differently.
I was worried that she wouldn’t like this place, that she wouldn’t want to stay. If she didn’t, it didn’t mean that I would change my mind about the whole baby thing, but it would be a different life.
Iris loved the lighthouse and the views. She’d found the wading through the sea interesting and probably would repeat it, which had made me laugh as I wasn’t so sure, and we’d met Fleur and Thane when we waded back over. At least that was two introductions done.
I’d shown her Clover and Grayson’s house on the way back, as well as the doctor’s surgery which still had all the lights on, and pointed out the community centre, which was Amelie’s project, used for housing her cakery and Freya’s offices for therapy sessions, as well as the meeting place for the various clubs and societies in Puffin Bay and the surrounding villages.
There were lots of words about photos and angles, the light in her eyes brightening when she became enthused and sometimes technical about lenses. Iris saw the world in colour and light, her lens always full of beauty.
I was finding that was one of my favourite things about her.
This was hard. There were too many favourite things and I didn’t know what to do with that knowledge.
The Inn was already busy. Fridays at this time of year were traditionally when a lot of people who lived in Puffin Bay visited the pub, calling in for a pint or dinner to catch up with neighbours and friends. I knew Amelie’s goal had been to create a place for the community, not just to appeal to tourists and day trippers.
She’d taken on the building after it’d been derelict for almost two decades and renovated the whole thing, spending time with the people in town and working out what they wanted.
From that, she’d opened a pub that sold good quality beer and wines but didn’t cost a fortune, a revolving menu of cocktails and home-cooked food that wouldn’t win a Michelin star but had no intention of. There were roaring fires in autumn and winter, and a beer garden for summer which led onto the beach. Priority was given to locals, which was partly how she’d won the town over. The other way she’d won the town over was because of her – Amelie was one of those people who everyone fell a little bit in love with.
Four o’clock on a Friday in the depths of January meant that everyone who wasn’t still at work had gathered here. School had finished for the week, which meant the sunroom – which wasn’t so sunny right now – was reserved for parents and their kids and it was full. This was how a village took care of their kids – games, toys, space for them to play together with a large bathroom straight off – and space for the adults to have actual adult conversations while they collectively kept an eye on the kids. I knew when Ruby first had Elsie, just eleven months after having Elias, this place had been a sanity-saver. Two babies under twelve months had resulted in a lot of stress, even with the support she had around her, but having somewhere to go where there were people who would hold Elsie while she fed Elias or entertain them both while she fed herself if Finn was at work was huge, or so she’d said. I’d met her there some days, bringing my laptop so I could write or edit, and be another adult. Finn was great, sorting out someone to help with the distillery, but he was still running his business, so couldn’t be there all the time.
The rest of the pub was child-free most of the time, which Mavis and Dafydd and the rest of the older crew were happy with. There was dominoes set up in one corner and the preparations for a crib night in another, but most people were sat talking, chewing the fat about the week or the weather or the family that had moved into one of Dafydd’s cottages.
A few people glanced over at Iris and me when we walked in, some of those glances lasting for a bit longer than they would do normally. Word would’ve gotten round that Ivy’s sister was staying with me already, mainly because of Clover, who was one of my closest friends, but also the town’s second biggest gossip after Mavis. Mavis knew as well, and us being friends wouldn’t have made a damn bit of difference to her making sure everyone knew I had a guest.
I led Iris through to the sunroom where Finn and Roe already were with my nieces and nephew. Finn was on the floor building some creation with his son. Elsie and Calla – Roe and Freya’s daughter – were giggling at each other with a combination of toy cars and stuffed animals.
“Hey. What’s everyone drinking? I’ll put it on my tab.” That took the attention off Iris.
“A pint of IPA.” Finn looked up, passing Elias a block. “Get Ruby a bottle of red too. She’s had a meeting with the Dean of the University and she’ll have spent about an hour stopping herself from trying to murder him and bury him under the floorboards. Hi, Iris.” He gave her a salute which made it seem like he’d met her every other day for the last four years.
“I’ll have an IPA too. Freya’s got a late session with clients so she’s on driver duty in case.” Roe leaned over to pull a teddy bear’s ear out of Calla’s mouth. “Let’s not eat that.”
Calla glared at him, looking exactly like her mother did.
“Cool. Are we all eating here?” I asked, as Cassian, the local headteacher walked in with his two boys, one who was still a tiny baby.
I saw Iris’ eyes linger on the pram and my heart stirred for her.
“Are you buying?” That was Cassian. “In that case, dinner’s on you.” He started to take his youngest out of the pram, the older boy heading straight over to Calla, who he went to nursery with.
“Dinner’s on me. As usual.” I shook my head.
“Not fair,” Finn predictably launched in. “I bought last week.”
Which was how it went. It all worked out in the end and I was aware that my brothers and me earned a silly amount of money, so we’d foot the bill more often than not, without denting anyone’s pride.
Someone each week, or at least one person, was the designated driver. In case any of the kids needed to be rushed to the hospital, they would lay off having anything alcoholic.
“True. Iris, what would you like?”
She looked like a rabbit caught in headlights.
“Gin and tonic. Maybe Finn’s gin?”
I gave her the most reassuring smile I could. “You can’t go wrong with that. Over there is Cassian and Romy.” I frowned, realising something was missing. “Where are Mia and Heidi?” Heidi was Romy’s daughter; Mia her best friend who lived with Romy and Cassian on a special guardianship order.
“Dancing practice.” Romy shook her head. “Till eight. Thank god they’re old enough to stay there on their own.”
Cassian shook his head, laughing. “Really? You didn’t want to spend every Friday evening watching eight-year-olds practice their routines to Spice Girls tracks?”
Romy glared at him. “I’m debating whether that’s the better choice right now.” She looked over at me. “I’d love a gin too, Gully. Is this Iris?” Her smile was wide and warm. “I’m Romy, long term resident of Puffin Bay.”
“She never left.” Cassian gave her a grin that suggested more teasing was coming. “Nowhere else would have her.”
She backhanded him against his side.
“Careful! I’m holding our son.”
Another glare.
“Sorry, Iris, when school’s finished for the week he turns into an overgrown child. How’re you finding Puffin Bay so far?”
Iris headed over to her, taking a seat and starting to chat. I glanced at Finn and saw him looking curiously at me, unspoken words that would be said out loud when we were on our own.
Everyone’s orders taken, I headed to the bar where Amelie was, speaking rapidly to Landon, her new bartender.
“The key thing is tonight is to not rush. Multi-task if you can, especially if someone’s ordering multiple pints or Guinness is involved. You need to let a pint settle before you top it up. Gulliver, what can I get you?”
I ordered, watching as Amelie used our drinks as an example. Pouring, letting the IPA settle before topping it up, getting the gin and tonics and wine in between.
“And if someone’s just ordered pints, you can always take a second order and start working on that.” She nodded at Landon, then looked at him questioningly. “Do you think you can manage?”
He swallowed, looked a bit scared. “I think so. How do you remember people’s orders?”
“You’re young. Your brain should manage it if you concentrate. This man here has a bar tab – let me show you where it is.” She led him to the till and pressed a few buttons.
I took the first sip of my IPA, savouring it. I didn’t drink at home and I rarely drank much when I was out, which was weird because I was a part owner of Finn’s brewery, which had been his first business. Four beers was my max, anymore and I stopped enjoying them.
But that first sip was good. Lush.
“You always look like you’re enjoying that way too much.” Amelie left Landon to it and came over to my side of the bar, adding a bottle of prosecco in a cooler and a couple of glasses to one of the trays.
“You can’t enjoy a good IPA too much. You joining us?”
She nodded. “I am. I want to meet Iris. Plus I know Ruby’s had a pain in the arse meeting with the Dean so I’m anticipating some major fall out. Unless he’s told her he’s resigning.”
“Let’s hope it’s that. Where’s Roman?” Her fiancé wasn’t usually too far away, unless he was working.
“He’s in Amsterdam of all places on a business trip. The company’s investing in a hotel there. Are you in the sunroom?”
“We are.” The conversation meandered around where I’d shown Iris in the town so far while we worked our way through to the sunroom. More people had gathered there, Thane was on the floor with Finn, his twin daughters lying on their bellies colouring which was low key for them. Fleur had sat down with Iris and Romy, Clover joining them, her baby daughter in her arms while her older son was happy to be with Elias.
Amelie helped me dish out the drinks, including taking hers and the gins over to where Iris was still, sitting down with them.
I knew there would be a disguised interrogation going on. I knew that there was curiosity about Iris and had been for some time, which theories being exchanged when my gossiping friends didn’t think I could hear.
I’d stopped my fuckboy ways before Ivy had died, not because of Ivy but because I’d watched Finn grow close to Ruby, seen Thane be taken down by Fleur and my cousins settle down. The dates and almost relationships I’d been in since had never taken off, some for no apparent reason other than the chemistry wasn’t there, or it petered out too quickly, or I just wasn’t interested enough.
There had been speculation whether it was because of Iris. I talked about her a lot. My brothers and therefore the rest of town knew we wrote to each other and we were close. They didn’t interfere, and neither did Freya or Ruby, but comments were made.
They suspected something.
They were right to.
“How’s it going with your guest?” Finn came to sit down at the table where Roe was, leaving Cassian to manage the kids on the floor.
“Good.” I was obviously going to be a man of few words today.
“That’s all we’re getting? Good?” He inhaled the first twenty-five percent of his pint. “How long’s she staying here for?”
“Undetermined. No end date.” This was all true. I could add more details, such as it might be permanent but that would lead to interestingly painful questions.
My twin hadn’t said anything yet. This worried me on many levels. We did have that weird twin thing going on when he knew roughly what I was feeling and then because he knew me better than anyone, he could work out the finer details. He’d asked me least about Iris, but I knew he hadn’t missed anything anyone else had said.
“What’s she doing while she’s here?” Finn glanced over to where the laughter was peeling from.
“Taking photos. Spending some time just relaxing. She’s got a few big jobs this year, but she’s cut out the smaller ones.” For a very good reason.
“She’s not going travelling or something?” Roe frowned. “She’s just hanging out here in Puffin Bay?”
“For now, yeah.” I took another mouthful of beer. “Good brew this.” I lifted the glass up to Finn. It was one of his ales, direct from the brewery in Manchester.
I watched Iris holding Romy’s baby, cuddling him close and murmuring to him. She’d told me how she longed to be a mother, to have her own family, a child she could look after.
“Thank you. I take personal responsibility for every keg.” He knocked back more of his. “Ruby’s excited to meet Iris. She’ll be gutted that she’ll be the last one here.”
“There’s plenty of time. I just hope we don’t scare her and send her running.” It was a genuine fear. “She’s not used to big families.”
“She’ll be fine. She doesn’t look like Ivy.” Finn was watching her hard enough for Iris to notice.
“They weren’t identical twins.” Sometimes that did need pointing out to him.
Obviously, Roe and I were identical, but no one would ever argue that Finn wasn’t closely related to us. Someone had once thought we were triplets, and Finn was the non-identical one.
“No, but you can see – yes, there it is. Her eyes. They’re the same as Ivy’s.” He looked pleased with himself. “And she moves like Ivy.”
Iris was moving over to us, clearly disturbed by my brother’s stare.
“Hey.” She sat down next to me, her big eyes trying to communicate something but I wasn’t sure what.
“You okay? Is everyone being nice?” I shoved a cheeky grin in there, hoping she was alright and I hadn’t left her for too long with the sharks.
“More than nice. Are you okay if I go to Amelie’s tomorrow afternoon? She’s having a gin tasting session.”
There was a collective groan from my brothers. Gin tasting sessions never ended well for any of them.
“You’re not my prisoner – you go where you like.” I smiled again, amused, feeling weird. “I’ll walk you round there - ”
“Amelie said she’d bring the boat round to pick me up.” She frowned. “Can she sail a boat?”
Finn laughed. Roe chuckled.
“I take it that’s a yes?”
“She learned when she moved into Roman’s because it’s actually quicker to get here by boat that driving. Wear a life jacket though.” There were stories about Amelie controlling a boat, none of which I could verify because I’d made the sensible decision not to get in one with her.
“I think that’s kind of mandatory.” She shook her head then looked at my brothers. “It’s good to finally meet you. Gully’s told me lots about you over the years.”
I was surprised when it was Roe who spoke first.
“It’s good to finally have you here. We were convinced Gully had made you up. Are you sure he’s not paying you to be here?”
Her laugh was melodic and full. “Definitely here for free. It’s a beautiful place.”
The night went from there. Ruby arrived, in a better mood that anyone had predicted because the dean of the university was leaving, which was music to her ears, and he was being replaced by the head of her wider department, a woman she really admired. That changed the atmosphere straight away, with someone – probably Amelie – opening a couple of bottles of champagne after we’d eaten, and then a third when Roman arrived back unexpectedly early.
We stayed later with my brothers, Ruby and Freya taking the kids back home, the rest leaving around eightish for baths and bed. As the evening had moved on, iris had become more comfortable, her brightness starting to shine, her voice clear. She wasn’t as demanding for the attention as Ivy had been, she had a quieter charisma. She’d discreetly taken photos, capturing couples when they glanced at each other, the children playing, Romy’s baby laughing at his dad and Mia and Luca, Clover’s eldest child, reading a book together which had been one of the few times they hadn’t been moving.
She showed the photos to Finn and Roe, both of whom offered bribes to not show them to their wives so they could use them as gifts for birthdays. Iris made no such promise.
That made me like her even more.
We were both tipsy when we got back to mine, Iris putting the kettle on and raiding the fridge for snacks.
She sat down at the kitchen island, mug in hand, a tub of olives next to the other. “We need to talk, don’t we?”
I sat down next to her. “We do. Do you still want to do this?”
“Yes. I meant what I said. I would move here. We could coparent properly. Our child would be part of your family - ”
“You’d be part of our family. Even if we’re not together.” I needed to say that.
She nodded, looking teary. “Thank you. It’s weird. Even if I was talking about this with the man I’d married, the process would still be the same. We’d still be going through fertility treatment. He’d still have to jizz off in a cup.”
We both laughed, but there was no heat to it.
“I’ll speak to my solicitor and have terms drawn up so no one needs to worry about either of us being an idiot in the future and demanding full custody or anything like that.” She toyed with her hair, brushing it behind her ear.
“I’ll tell my brothers the plan tomorrow while you’re with Amelie and the rest of them. They’ll have questions.”
“How will they be?”
I stretched my arms above my head, feeling tired now. “They’ll be fine. Roe had a scare when he and Freya’d just gotten together. There was a chance he could’ve fathered a child after a one night stand. It turned out not to be his – long story – and the parents are properly together now so it all had a happy ending,but he was good with the coparenting thing. They’ll understand. They know I want to be dad.” I’d put the words out there.
As much as I knew Iris wanted to be a mother, I wanted to be a father. I loved being an uncle, loved seeing my brothers with them, but I wanted my own. A son or a daughter to show the world to, to look after them and support them.
“What if we meet someone else? It’s more likely to be you - ”
I shut her down quickly. “That’s not something on my agenda right now and any child I have will always come first. Along with you, because you’ll be their mother.”
And all the rest which I hadn’t told her yet.
“Yet” being another word for never.
She studied me for a few seconds. “Same. So we’re doing this?”
I nodded, taking a mouthful of tea that was too hot, but swallowing it anyway. “We are. What do we need to do?”
“I’ll make an appointment at the fertility clinic where Ivy’s eggs are stored. Then we follow their instructions. I may need to be in London for some appointments - ”
“There’s no reason why I can’t come with you.”
She didn’t try to argue, maybe it was because there was no point. Maybe it was because she wanted me there. It didn’t matter.
I’d be there.
I met my brothers the following afternoon, congregating at Finn’s house where his two kids were settled of a sort, and Calla was playing in a make-shift playpen. The football was on the TV and there was a variety of snacks laid out on the kitchen island, which was never unwelcome.
We slobbed out on the sofas, the kids far too placid which suggested they’d already had a mad half hour before I’d gotten there.
“I need to tell you something and I need you to think before you react. Like, really think.” I lifted my bottle of beer, assessing how much was left in it.
Roe took a swig of his. Finn was on potential driver duty so a bottle of beer or two was okay for now.
“Go ahead,” my twin said. “What crazy scheme have you come up with now?”
“It’s not a scheme.” I thought for a second. “It kind of is, but not like you’re expecting.”
“It is about Iris?” That was Finn, drawing conclusions early on. Not that he was wrong.
“It is. It’s part of the reason she’s here.” I waited again, lending some dramatic tension to the room, just to be an arse.
“Well, go on then. Spit it out.” Roe kicked my ankle.
I kicked him back.
When our mam called us out for being idiots like that we could just say that it’d started in her womb, and she stopped speaking and started glaring.
“Iris can’t have her own children. She went through an early menopause which means she doesn’t have any healthy eggs. Ivy had her own eggs harvested and frozen for Iris to use when she was ready.” I breathed, remembering the rehearsed script I’d ran through my head on the walk here.
“Carry on. I think I know where this is going.” Finn folded his arms, and settled down in the chair, helping Elias climb onto his knee.
“She needs a sperm donor. Ideally, she’d like to have found someone to settle down with but that hasn’t happened. There’ve been a couple of wank- idiots, sorry – who she’s really liked, but they’ve bolted when she’s mentioned she could only have a baby with IVF.” I paused again, waiting for them to fill the gaps.
It was Roe who spoke first. “So she’s asked you?”
I nodded. “Her intention is to move here to Puffin Bay and we can co-parent. Our kid would have their cousins and uncles and aunts here, because Iris really is on her own apart from some extended family in London and over in Cape Cod.” I waited again.
They needed to have their say. I wanted their words, wanted to hear their questions and fears, because there would be those.
For a couple of minutes nothing was said. Calla gave a half cry and ended up being carried by her dad, which was like watching me with a child. Genetically, Calla was pretty much my daughter. Any child of mine would have a similar relationship with Roe.
Roe settled back down with her on his knee. “We took them swimming this lunch at the hotel pool and it’s absolutely wiped them out. Might not be a good thing.” He gave her a kiss, helping her to get comfy.
“I await your thoughts.” I was waiting as patiently as I could.
Roe nodded at me. “I get it. I could say don’t you think you should wait until you’ve met someone, but without being harsh and it isn’t personal, that might not happen. I could say the same for Iris too, but just because you’re a single parent doesn’t mean you’re not going to meet someone in the future. I can’t say don’t do it, you’re a fool for considering it, because I don’t think that’s correct. And besides, Holland men make excellent babies.”
Finn laughed. “Yeah, not disagreeing. You need to have legal paperwork joined up before you do it. You also need to agree on how many embryos should be stored – or whatever the term is – and if Iris can use future ones without further agreement from you. Think about it carefully – what if one of you moves away from Puffin Bay? How do those decisions go? I know you’re saying she’s moving here, but how permanent is that – have something in any contract to cover all the possibilities. But seriously, this is better planned than a surprise pregnancy. You’re going into it with your eyes wide open and making a decision. You’re choosing to do this.”
His words were spot on. I wasn’t surprised by either of their reactions. “You don’t think I’ve lost my mind by agreeing?”
“You lost your mind long ago, Gul.” Roe shook his head. “That’s been long gone. Is it just friendship between you and Iris?”
“Just friendship,” I nodded. “We’ve been close since just after the inquest into Ivy’s death.”
“Okay,” Roe said.
But I knew he didn’t believe me.
He was right not to believe me. I was lying and while I could be a good liar, Rowan had always known the truth. The question now was whether he’d call me out in front of Finn, which was more problematic.
Finn rarely pulled the big brother card, and usually only in the instances when me or Roe were about to completely fuck something up and our mother would be blaming Finn for not keeping an eye on us.
I looked at him, seeing finer lines around his eyes and a couple of flecks of grey in his hair, which he’d inevitably say had been caused by Elias and Elsie.
He shrugged and sat back, looking over at his kids, Elias sprawled across his lap, Elsie crashing two toy cars into each other and laughing curiously.
“Why’s she asked you?” He sat up on the sofa, catching Elias’ foot before he could get kicked in the face by it. “I’m not asking that to wind you up. I just want to know why you and not an anonymous donation or wait until she’s in a relationship.”
“Why do you want to know that?”
Finn shrugged, shifting his son into a more comfortable position for both of them. Elias was about to fall asleep, currently trying to force his eyes to stay open so he didn’t miss anything.
“Not saying your genes aren’t the best ones for her to pick, but I’m interested in why this as an option.” He shrugged again. “Is she hoping for something financial from you?”
I shook my head. “She’s inherited Ivy’s estate and royalties, and everything from her parents. I’ll be paying my share. I’m making this my decision as much as it is hers.” I glanced over at Calla, now in a chair where she was fast asleep, her dark hair identical to how Elsie’s had been.
“And you’re having everything drawn up by a solicitor in terms of rights etcetera? Iris isn’t going to leave the country and live in Australia or anything like that?” Finn looked concerned.
“She’s looking to buy a house here. Although I’m going to suggest she lives with me for the first year. I’ve seen the state of you two when you have two parents doing the night shifts. I don’t want to do that by myself and neither does Iris. Or at least I don’t think she does.” I hadn’t asked too much about what she expected being a parent to a newborn was like. I didn’t have first-hand experience, but I had been around for the early days of my nephew and nieces and it was hard.
Finn nodded. “Okay, you’re not stupid and you’ve been friends for years. Why now? Why her?”
I shrugged. “I want a family. I haven’t met anyone I want to settle down with, and even if I had there’s always the chance that it wouldn’t be forever. We’re going into this as co-parents and friends, with a history.”
Finn’s face clouded. He’d been friends with Ivy too. She’d been at his and Ruby’s pretend wedding, one of the few people there. He’d been there the night she died.
“I get it. It’s different. It isn’t conventional, but I get it. You have my support.” He stroked his son’s head, the dark hair that was already thick and glossy. “And your kid will have these three reprobates as cousins. Not sure if that’s a selling point.” Elsie scrambled onto the sofa and bulldozed her way onto Finn’s lap. Elias stayed asleep, used to being shifted around by his sister.
“It’s a selling point. Iris doesn’t have any family left, not really. There are aunts, but no one close. I think she’s looking for family for herself too.” I watched Roe bend over and sniff his daughter.
“You need the practice,” my twin said. “I’ll help you out with this multiple time offer.”
I shook my head. “No. I’m practiced at that already.”
Calla’s big eyes opened and flicked onto me. She chuckled, all sorts of cute, and lifted her arms for me to take her.
“She definitely needs a new nappy. Thanks, Uncle Gully.” Roe sat back, eyes on the screen as one of the players scored. “Yesss! Get in there!”
I picked up Calla, clocking that Elsie and Elias were still asleep. Uncle Roe shouting was something they’d learned to sleep through.
“Get me a beer while I clean up your daughter.” I sighed, shaking my head. “Your daddy is an idiot sometimes.”
He didn’t hear me, which was definitely a shame.