Chapter 18
Rachel drove home from the gym with her hands gripping the steering wheel a little too tightly, her heart hammering in her chest. Jack was home.
She’d spent last night agonizing whether to text or call him after Carson had mentioned his brother was home.
But she found her fingers never hit the right buttons on her phone.
Fear gripped her. After all, if he wanted her to know where he was, he would have called or texted.
She’d spent the night miserable, thinking of what his being home might look like…
a quick stopover? Bringing home a girlfriend to meet his parents?
Maybe just passing through for a quick visit with his family.
Maybe he was heading out soon to a place where he’d gotten a job after the Navy.
Her teeth caught her bottom lip as she tried to think of their last messages, but no matter how much she replayed them in her mind, she knew he hadn’t mentioned his final plans.
By the time she finally slept a few hours and then awoke, she knew she needed to go to the gym and run her worries away… or at least run until she dropped from exhaustion.
Now, she’d seen him and was having breakfast with him. Although she still had no idea what his plans were.
She pulled into the drive and practically ran up the stairs to her apartment, her mind racing. She still shared a house with two teachers. The other two women had the bedrooms in the main part of the house, and she had the small efficiency in the attic with outside stairs.
Rachel stripped off her clothes and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water cascade over her as she tried to calm her racing thoughts.
She couldn't help but have butterflies. The kind that had always fluttered in her stomach whenever Jack was near.
The kind she'd always had and probably always would, which could be problematic.
She thought of David. Nice, stable, interested David. He checked all the boxes that should matter. Kind. Present. Willing to go slow. But there were no butterflies with David… and never had been.
Maybe it was just because of her shared history with Jack.
Maybe the butterflies were just muscle memory, her body responding to what it had known for so long.
Jack knew her past and helped her navigate the new world she’d suddenly found herself in.
And he'd turned all those negative memories into something stronger because of who he was as a protector.
But did that mean he was her person? Or just the person who'd been there when she was young and needed someone most?
Her heart ached each time they separated.
Every goodbye had felt like tearing a piece of herself off.
She'd realized, listening to friends over the years talk about their relationships, that there had never been a big fight with Jack. Never a huge breakup in the traditional sense. Their journey had been more of a time of growing. Sometimes together in the same way at the same time. And at other times, what they wanted and needed as individuals didn’t match the other person's.
Life had simply taken them to places where they needed time to explore who they were as individuals.
Rachel jerked back to what she was doing and hurried to dry her hair.
She put on just enough makeup to look put together before slipping into jeans and a soft blue sweater that she knew brought out the color of her eyes.
With her feet in low-heeled boots, she grabbed her purse and jacket and headed out the door.
The drive to Joe's Diner took less than ten minutes, but it felt like an eternity.
This was the diner where Jack's mom used to work when he was younger.
The site of many of their teenage dates.
Rachel pushed through the door, and her eyes immediately found him.
He sat at a corner booth with two cups of coffee already on the table in front of him.
When he saw her, he stood, beaming a smile that spread across his face, causing her pulse to race. Jack greeted her with a kiss on the cheek, his hand warm on her shoulder as he took her coat. The gesture was so natural, so familiar, that Rachel had to smile.
“That was some greeting, considering you just saw me an hour ago,” she said as they slid into the booth.
Jack's grin was boyish and unrepentant. “Can't help myself. You look beautiful.”
Rachel felt heat rise to her cheeks. “You're in a good mood.”
“I am.” His smile did something funny to her insides, even now, after all these years since they first met. “It's a good morning.”
She hoped he would tell her his plans so she would stop wondering. But then, maybe he wanted to hold off telling her it would be another goodbye. She let out a shaky breath as she held his gaze.
“So tell me about working at Baytown High School,” Jack said, leaning forward on his elbows. “I know you’ve emailed me tidbits about working there, but I want to hear about it. Is it weird being back in those halls?”
Rachel opened her mouth, but waited as the server came over. Betty, who'd been working at Joe's for as long as Rachel could remember, smiled at her warmly.
“The usual, honey?” Betty asked.
“Please. Thanks, Betty.”
Jack looked at her with a big grin. “What?” Rachel asked, wondering if she had something on her face.
“You still order the same breakfast.” His voice held affection and amusement.
Rachel laughed. “Only when I come here, but that's been a while.”
Betty lifted an already highly arched brow. “Jack, you’re no different. I always know what you want. The Big Joe breakfast, with bacon, fried potatoes, pancakes, and scrambled eggs.”
Rachel pressed her lips together to keep from laughing aloud at the pretend-affronted expression on Jack’s face. He couldn’t help but chuckle as he shook his head.
“Betty, you know the way to a man’s heart.”
Betty laughed and dipped her chin before turning to head to the back.
Jack’s gaze swiftly returned to Rachel, and she remembered the question he’d asked.
“So... Baytown High School. It's a little weird, but not as bad as you might think. Almost all the teachers we knew are retired, but a couple are still there. I think they were new teachers then, and now they’re the department chairs. And it was strange when I was first assigned my room. It was Mrs. Gallahan’s room. Remember her?”
“Yes! She was probably the oldest teacher in the building, dyed her hair pitch-black, and wore bright red lipstick every day!”
Rachel laughed. “Well, that’s my room.” She was quiet for a moment, then added, “Honestly, when I'm working, I'm focused on the students.”
Rachel looked at him, seeing his eyes staring into hers. A soft smile curved her lips as nostalgia rushed over her. “But yeah, there are times I'll pass by my old locker or walk down a hall and remember being fifteen and terrified of everything.”
“I can see you and me, just as though I were back in time. You were the prettiest girl I'd ever seen, standing by the guidance office, your notebooks clutched in your hands like a shield.”
The memory washed over Rachel with such clarity that it took her breath away. That first day. Lost and overwhelmed. And then Jack, with his kind eyes and easy smile, offered to help.
“You were wonderful. Cindy got me to the office, but then had to hurry away. I'd never been inside a school that big, or noisy, or crazy with crowds of people.” Rachel shook her head and laughed. “Who would ever believe that I'm now working in that chaos?”
Their time was occasionally broken by someone who stopped by the booth to welcome Jack home or to say hello to Rachel. One was a student who spoke to Rachel, gushing about an assignment and thanking her for her help. When the student left, he smiled at Rachel.
“You're really good with them,” he observed. “You must be an extraordinary teacher, but then I can’t think of you not being extraordinary at everything.”
“I love what I do,” Rachel said simply. “These kids, they need someone who sees them. Who listens. I remember what it felt like to be invisible or worse, to be too visible for all the wrong reasons.”
Jack held her gaze, and she felt as though his attention never wavered. It was a rare trait, and the feeling wrapped around Rachel like a warm blanket.
Their food came, and for a while they just ate, the companionable conversation flowing easily between them. He spoke fondly of his stepsiblings, Carson and Beth. Jack shook his head with a grin. “I can't believe Carson is in ninth grade now.”
“Yes, I know.” Rachel laughed. “He's in my class, actually. Freshman English.”
“Holy shit! You’re kidding!”
“Nope. He’s now the same age as we were when we met.”
“Does he give you trouble?” Jack asked. “I can set him straight, if I need to.”
“Not at all. He's a good kid. Sweet. Quiet. Smart.” Rachel took a sip of her coffee. “Sometimes I catch him looking at me like he's trying to figure out if he can get away with something, but mostly, he just does his work and stays out of trouble.”
“Damn, time flies,” Jack muttered. “What about your cousins, Alex and Rebecca? I probably wouldn’t recognize them now.”
“Yeah.” Rachel smiled. “They're growing like weeds. Both are in elementary school now. They're good kids.”
Jack's expression turned thoughtful. “I'd like to see them. And Shiloh and Joseph, of course. It's been too long.”
“You should,” Rachel said, forcing her lips into what she hoped was a pleasant smile.
“Maybe we could all get together,” Jack suggested. “You, me, them. Make it a family thing.”
The casualness of his suggestion, the way Jack included himself in Rachel's family circle like it was the most natural thing in the world, made her chest tight. A family thing… that’s what we used to be.
But no more. She tried to keep her expression blank.
“That would be nice,” she said softly. Knowing she would share a meal before he left again brought a bittersweet heartache.
“Shiloh and Joseph would love to have you over for dinner.”