Chapter 21
Jack pulled into Rachel's driveway at exactly six o'clock. The cooler sat in the back of his SUV alongside the picnic basket his mom had helped him pack that afternoon. She'd smiled knowingly when he'd told her his plans before sending him off with fresh brownies and a blanket.
Looking up, Rachel appeared at the top landing as he hurried out of his vehicle. She was wearing jeans and a soft green sweater, her dark hair loose around her shoulders. Jack's heart kicked against his ribs the way it always had when he looked at her.
“Hi,” she said, her smile tentative but real.
“Hi.” Jack met her halfway up the steps and leaned in to kiss her cheek, letting himself linger just a second longer than necessary. “You look beautiful.”
Her cheeks flushed. “Thank you. You clean up pretty well yourself.”
Jack grinned and offered his hand. “Ready?”
“More than ready.”
The drive to their beach was familiar along roads Jack could have navigated blindfolded.
Neither of them said much. The silence was comfortable in the way it had always been between them.
When Jack turned onto the narrow access road that wound through scrub pine and marsh grass, he felt Rachel shift beside him.
The water opened up ahead, silver-blue in the early evening light. Jack pulled into the small clearing where the sand began and cut the engine. For a moment, neither of them moved.
Rachel stared out the windshield at the stretch of beach, her hands folded in her lap. “You brought me here,” she said quietly.
Jack turned to look at her. “I did.” He paused, suddenly uncertain. “Is that okay?”
She didn't answer right away. Her eyes stayed fixed on the water, on the dunes, on the place that had been theirs for as long as they'd known each other. Finally, she nodded slowly.
“Have you… um… been here recently?” Jack asked, unable to hide his hesitancy.
Rachel shook her head. “No. Not since the last time we were here.”
Five years ago. George's funeral. The memory of that day hit Jack square in the chest. They'd sat on this beach in silence, both grieving, both lost. Then they'd gone back to her apartment and fallen into each other with a desperation that felt like goodbye. Hell, it was goodbye.
“Can I ask why?” Jack's voice came out softer than he intended.
Rachel shrugged, but the gesture was anything but casual. “In all honesty, I never really think about coming here. But I suppose that it always seemed like our place, not just a place.”
The words settled between them, heavy and true. Jack reached over and took her hand, lacing his fingers through hers. “Does that make sense?” she asked, finally turning to look at him.
He held her gaze and nodded. “Yeah. Same here. Some things are tied to memories, and to try to force a new connection seems...” He searched for the word that wouldn't come.
“Expunging what it meant to us?” she offered.
“Yeah. Exactly.” Jack grinned and squeezed her hand. “You always were good with words.”
Rachel's laughter broke through, real and bright.
They threw open the doors, both eager. Jack grabbed the cooler, the blanket, and the picnic basket while Rachel kicked off her shoes at the edge of the sand, then bent to carry them. They walked down to their spot near the dune grass, the place where the sand was soft and the view stretched wide.
He spread the blanket and sat, unpacking the simple picnic dinner. Sandwiches piled high with deli meat and cheese, fruit, pasta salad, and the brownies his mom had insisted on. He opened two beer bottles and handed one to Rachel as she settled onto the blanket beside him.
“So,” she started, then turned the bottle up and took a drink. “Tell me about your first days as a detective.”
Jack unwrapped his sandwich, grateful for the easy opening. “It's weird. Being in the bullpen with some of the best men I remember from years back.”
“Do you feel like a fraud?” Her voice was gentle, without judgment. “Because you're not.”
“Yeah, I do.” Jack took a bite of his sandwich, chewed, and swallowed, thinking about what she said. He was glad she seemed to understand. “Like I'm not almost thirty and am still a teenager.”
“Who's your partner?”
“Mark Robbins.”
Rachel's face lit up immediately. “Mark! He married Karen Drummond. He had a son, and she had two daughters, and then they adopted two siblings in need.”
Jack smiled at the genuine happiness in her voice. “He's great. I've only been in the station for a couple of days, and I already feel like one of the team. Although it's so different from the Navy.”
“Can you talk about some of the cases in the area?”
“Right now, just the robbery at the pawn shop and the armed holdup at the gas station outside of Seaside. I got to see a few more of the law enforcement leaders in the area that I was so excited to be with when I was a kid.”
Rachel shoulder bumped him, playful and light. “You still get excited talking about law enforcement.”
Jack chuckled, shaking his head. “Yeah, I guess I do. Just hard to believe that I'm back and doing the job I always wanted to do. Makes me realize how many people don't get to do that.”
He finished his sandwich and looked at her. “Can I ask about the man you’re seeing?” Jack felt the weight of the question settle between them. He held her gaze, wanting her to see that he would accept whatever she told him. At least he would try to.
“We weren't dating exclusively.” She winced and shook her head. “Oh, that didn’t sound good. What I mean is that we were just friends who went out. It was pleasant, and I knew he was leaning toward more, but I just wasn’t there yet.
I didn’t have those feelings. I did talk to him last night.
” She paused. “He’d already heard about you returning.
It seems the gossip about us has started just from us having breakfast.”
Jack heard from her tone that she wasn't pleased. It didn't matter how much time and distance had separated them, he still knew her tells. Something inside him sharpened. “What did he say?”
Rachel's jaw tightened slightly. “Oh, just some silly stuff about the baseball team record not comparing to the wrestling team wins. It was… strange.”
“What the fuck?” The words burst out before Jack could stop them.
Rachel sighed and held his gaze. “There was an odd, competitive vibe from him that I’d never noticed before.”
He reared back in surprise. “Seriously?”
Rachel stared at him. “Yeah. You know your winning baseball is still in the trophy case at the school for winning states our senior year.”
“I can't imagine someone so into that shit that they'd go back all those years just to see who I was.”
“Well, he seemed peeved to realize we would be seeing each other, then when I mentioned that you’d be coaching, he said something stupid about how even if you were coaching varsity baseball, you couldn't beat his wrestling team's season.”
Jack snorted. The guy sounded like a royal prick, but he didn’t want to say that aloud, not wanting to imply that Rachel had gone out with such a man.
She looked at him and shrugged. “I'm glad it's over before it became too complicated. Sometimes you have to spend time with someone to see them for who they are.”
Jack leaned closer, wanting to get the conversation back on them. “And have you spent enough time with me to see who I am?”
Her eyes met his, and something shifted in her expression. The playfulness was still there, but underneath it was something deeper. “I think you and I knew each other very well.” Then she leaned closer, and when she was only a whisper away, she said, “But I'll gladly volunteer to do more research.”
Then she kissed him lightly, her lips barely brushing his. Before Jack could lean in and take it deeper, Rachel pulled back with a small smile and said, “Now, feed me those brownies that smell so good. “
Jack laughed. Being with Rachel had always been easy. No pretense. No artifice. Just real. And he planned on making sure he was the only man she dated from now on.
They finished eating as the sun dropped lower, painting the water in shades of gold and copper. Jack packed away the empty containers while Rachel stretched out on the blanket, propping herself up on one elbow.
“Thank you for this,” she said. “For bringing me here.”
“I wanted to.” Jack settled beside her, close enough that their shoulders almost touched. “Wanted to do this right.”
Rachel was quiet for a moment, her eyes on the water. Then she turned to look at him. “Jack, what are we doing?”
The question hung between them, honest and open. Jack reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his fingers lingering against her cheek. “I'm trying to show you that I'm staying. That I mean it this time.”
“And if I'm scared?” Rachel's voice was barely above a whisper.
“Then I'll wait.” Jack held her gaze. “As long as it takes for you to believe me.”
Rachel searched his face for a long moment. Then she leaned in and kissed him, soft and slow, her hand coming up to rest against his chest. Jack wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer, and the kiss deepened, both of them relearning the taste and feel of each other.
When they finally broke apart, both breathing hard, Jack rested his forehead against hers. “I've missed you,” he said. “Every day.”
“I missed you too.” Rachel's fingers curled into his shirt. “So much.”
They stayed like that as the light faded from the sky and the first stars appeared overhead. Eventually, Rachel pulled back and looked around at the darkening beach.
“We should probably head back,” she said, though she made no move to stand.
“Probably.” Jack made no move either.
Rachel laughed and pushed against his chest. “Come on. I’ll help you pack up.”
They gathered everything together, working side by side the way they always had. Jack loaded the truck while Rachel brushed sand off her jeans and slipped her shoes back on.
The drive back to her house was quiet and comfortable. Jack reached over and took her hand, and Rachel squeezed back. They drove all the way home with fingers laced together on the seat between them.
When Jack pulled into her driveway and cut the engine, Rachel turned to him. “Do you want to come in?”
Every part of Jack wanted to say yes. But he also knew this needed to be done right. “I want to,” he said honestly. “But I think I should go home tonight.”
Rachel's expression flickered with something that might have been disappointment, but she nodded. “Okay.”
Jack reached over and cupped her face, drawing her close enough to kiss her softly. “This isn't me pulling away. This is me wanting to do this right.”
“I know.” Rachel smiled against his lips. “That's why I'm not arguing.”
Jack kissed her again, deeper this time. When he finally pulled back, they were both breathing hard. “I'll call you tomorrow.”
“You'd better.”
He walked her to her door and kissed her one more time on the landing outside her door. Then he forced himself to walk back to his SUV. Climbing behind the wheel, he looked up, seeing Rachel standing at her window, watching him with a smile on her face.
Jack drove home with that image burned into his mind. Rachel smiling… happy… willing to give them another chance.
He planned to make damn sure he was worthy of that smile.