Chapter 11 #2
“Steel . . . he’s a lover at heart. These days, he’s operating under the guise of hurt.
When he was in college, the love of his life broke his heart.
He hasn’t let a woman get close to him since then.
I know it’s killing him. Even though we never met the girl, we all saw the pictures and heard how much he loved her from him.
He wanted to marry her. Honestly, I thought he would have been the first to tie the knot and have kids. ”
“Well, maybe it will still happen for him. Not every heartbreak stays a heartbreak.”
“You ever had your heart broken?”
He shook his head as he took a sip of wine. “Thankfully, no. I will say that every relationship I’ve been in has ended up being a lesson. If it didn’t give me what I needed, it taught me what I didn’t.”
“That’s a positive way to look at it.”
“No need to make a mountain out of a molehill. Everybody isn’t meant to be in your life forever, even if you want them to be.”
“True.” I took a sip of my wine as I peered over at him. “You think this will go anywhere?” I asked, pointing between us.
He grabbed my hand and kissed it. “I think this can be whatever we want it to be or what we make it. Like I said, I want to know you, Jaeda. Pardon me if this sounds creepy, but I felt something the moment I saw your face on that app. Sometimes you just know that someone will be your person. In my heart, I feel like you will be mine.”
Heat rose in my cheeks from blushing so hard. I could tell he was being genuine. His eyes were sincere, and he looked into mine as he spoke. Unless he was a hell of a con artist, I had no reason to believe that he was lying.
Leaning in, I cupped his face and pressed my lips to his.
I felt bold and empowered, making the first move this time.
Me, . . . Jaeda Janelle Dillinger, could actually make a first move.
That was big for me. I was confident in most every area of my life professionally, but when it came to my love life, I had more than a tinge of insecurity.
When you were used to niggas getting close to you because of who your family was or because they just wanted to fuck you, your self-esteem took a hit. Sometimes, even as beautiful as I knew I was, I didn’t feel desirable for more than just that.
This was a nice feeling.
Dinner was lovely.
Not only had Quaid put his foot in the food, but he killed dessert with homemade strawberry crunch cheesecake. I ate two slices, and he’d given me the rest to take home.
I’d kicked off my shoes and made myself comfortable.
Currently, we were in the living room watching Jeopardy of all things.
This was one of my guilty pleasures in my alone time.
Once upon a time, I wanted to go on the show because I loved trivia.
As a kid in school, I used to get teased about being filled with useless information.
Certain things would trigger something I saw or learned, and I just had to tell anyone willing to listen, a fun fact about it. I learned quickly that kids could be cruel, and I couldn’t depend on a friend outside of my brothers or cousins.
I’d always been the quiet one. The shy one. The one most people said couldn’t have been a Dillinger because I was the least threatening. They used to make me feel like I didn’t belong in my family. I used to cry about that shit until my father sat me down one day.
“Jaeda, you’re different, and that’s okay.
You’re special because your brain works in ways that most people’s can’t.
There is nothing wrong with being gifted because that is God’s gift to you.
As you get older, some people will appreciate your smarts.
Others will be intimidated by it, but fuck them.
You never stop learning. Never dumb yourself down for anything or anybody, especially not some nappy headed lil nigga or some pissy tail ass lil girl.
Never stop being you. And if anybody has a problem with you being you, tell them to come see me ’cause daddy will handle that ass. ”
That was one of the many things he taught me that I took to heart.
When I graduated with honors from high school and college way ahead of time, he was the proudest of me.
Senior may not have been the best example of a man as far as relationships were concerned, but he was the best example of how a father poured into his kids.
“On February 1, 1960, four students held a historic sit-in at a lunch counter in this North Carolina city in protest over segregation.”
“Greensboro,” Quaid and I answered simultaneously.
“What is Greensboro,” the lady on the screen answered.
“Correct!”
“I’ll take history for four hundred.”
“The 1944’s Absent in the Spring is one of the non-mystery novels she wrote under the name Mary Westmacott.”
“Agatha Christie,” we answered again.
“Who is Agatha Christie?”
“We would have killed it on this show,” I said, crossing my legs.
“I wouldn’t have taken it easy on you either.”
I playfully mushed him. “Is that a competitive spirit I sense?”
“Hell yeah.”
I laughed. “I guess I saw a bit of that when I was trying to get past your firewall.”
He elbowed me. “See, there you go bringing up old shit.”
“You are never going to live this down, sir. That is going to be quite an interesting ‘how did you two meet’ story.”
“Do we leave out the kidnapping or what?”
I scoffed. “Now who’s bringing up old shit?”
It was his turn to laugh. “The point is, . . . we’re here now. It all worked out for the best.”
I smiled and nodded. “It did.”
He beckoned me to him, and I leaned into his space.
“Closer,” he said in a deep, gruff tone.
I moved closer.
“That ain’t close enough.”
I gave a nervous giggle. “You want me in your lap or something?”
“You comfortable with that?”
I swallowed hard and nodded. Maneuvering myself, I straddled his lap. He gripped my hips to steady me as he slouched down on the couch. His hands then glided up my side, briefly cupping my face before his fingers slid through my tresses.
“You are so fucking beautiful, you know that?” he said. “Flawless.”
I blushed hard as hell. “You’re gonna give me a big head.”
“You deserve that shit. For every nigga that fumbled you, I’m gonna make up for it.”
His hand moved to the back of my neck. With a firm grip, he pulled my head to his, connecting our lips for the third time tonight.
Kissing him had quickly become my favorite pastime.
While his hands roamed my body, it was still respectable.
He didn’t grope me or try to take my clothes off, even though part of me desperately wanted him to touch me.
It didn’t help that I could feel his dick growing beneath me. Without seeing it, I knew the bulge planted firmly between my legs was a sight to behold. My hips involuntarily began to move as I kissed him back with reckless abandon. Moans fell, occupying the minimal space between us.
His hands fell to my ass, gripping it as he grinded back against me.
“Let me know when you need that,” he said with a chuckle.
“I—”
The sound of knocking on the door halted our movements. Quaid sighed as he looked over at the monitor on the wall. There stood Titan with a frown on his face.
“I’ma kill him,” he mumbled.
He tapped my thigh, motioning for me to move. I rolled over onto the couch, trying to get myself together. Shit almost got real between us just now, and I needed to breathe.
He got up and went to the door, snatching it open.
“What, man?”
Titan took a step back and looked him up and down before peering over his shoulder at me in the living room. A grin spread across his face.
“Hey, Jaeda.”
“Hey, Titan.”
“What are y’all in here doing that I interrupted?”
“Minding our damn business,” Quaid answered.
“Mm-hmm. Both of y’all looking flustered and shit. Game recognize game.”
He playfully slapped Quaid’s chest, and I palmed my face.
“Bruh, what do you want?” Quaid snapped.
“My fault for interrupting. I finally got Mia’s ass to talk to me, and once again, we’re beefing.”
“What else is new? Y’all are always beefing. I wasn’t aware the last beef was over.”
“It ain’t. Arguing with her stubborn ass made me lose my train of thought, and I locked myself out of my apartment. Can you let me in?”
Quaid sighed and looked back at me. “Can you give me a minute, love? He lives down the hall.”
“Go ahead. I’m just gonna wait for you on the balcony. I need some fresh air.”
Titan smirked. “I bet you do.”
“Shut up!” Quaid and I said.
“Getcho’ ass on somewhere, man.”
He grabbed his keys and shoved Titan out of his way, closing the door behind him. I stood from the couch with my phone and went out to the balcony. The only person I could think to call at a time like this was Shar. She answered on the first ring.
“If you ain’t calling to tell me you got some dick, I’m hanging up.”
“Sharina!”
She laughed loudly. “What’s up, sis?”
“I um, . . . I think I want to try something with him.”
She squealed. “Yes, bitch! Let him pop that cherry.”
“Oh my God.” I palmed my head. “Not yet, Shar. I mean, I felt it, . . . girl. It’s heavy.”
Again, she squealed. “I knew it! Don’t be nervous, girl.”
“I like him, but I don’t want to give myself to him that quick.”
She kissed her teeth. “So what do you wanna do? You want some head or something?”
“I don’t know how to ask for that.”
“Awww! My baby is so innocent. Listen, just put it on the table and see what he says. I guarantee that man is gonna eat you from the roota to the toota. Wait, did you shave?”
“I always shave.”
“Then you’re good, girl. If you don’t take anything else from me, take this. Speak up and ask for what you want.”
“I’ve never asked a man for head, Shar. That’s gonna feel so awkward?—”
“Why would it be awkward?” I heard behind me.
I jumped, turning to see Quaid standing there. I froze, eyes wide. Shar was in my ear talking, but I couldn’t hear shit she was saying. I swallowed hard as Quaid approached me and took the phone from my hand.
“She’s gonna have to call you back, Shar.”