Chapter Six
Ada
I stepped back from the doorway, a silent invitation hanging between us as rain pelted the glass on the other side of my living room behind me.
Lightning fractured the sky, illuminating Jag’s face for a heartbeat, all hard angles and…
confusion? “Jag?” I said softly, my voice nearly lost in the growl of thunder.
His eyes locked with mine, something wild and hungry swimming in their depths. He stood motionless.
“Knight wouldn’t like this,” Jag warned, his voice rough. But his feet carried him inside anyway, crossing the boundary with deliberate steps. His body language remained stiff, like he was ready to bolt.
“Knight doesn’t dictate who I invite into my space,” I replied, shutting the door. The sudden quiet felt deafening, filled only by the drum of rain against the windows and the sound of thunder rolling ominously. “Beer?”
A curt nod answered me. I walked to the kitchen, feeling Jag’s gaze track my movement. When I returned with two bottles, Jag had planted himself at the edge of my couch, his back straight as if he were bracing himself for a job interview or something. It was kind of cute.
“Here.” I handed him a bottle and settled beside him, leaving enough space that we wouldn’t accidentally touch. Thunder rolled outside, closer this time. The lights flickered once, twice.
“Thanks.” He took a healthy pull of his beer. Followed by an awkward silence.
“Relax, Jag,” I said, taking a sip of my beer. “I don’t bite. Unless asked nicely.” I smiled, trying to lighten the mood.
That got a snort of laughter out of him. “Only tense because this is a really bad idea.” He rubbed his hands along his thighs nervously.
Another crash of thunder shook the windows, and the lights gave a final, desperate flicker before plunging us into darkness.
“Shit,” I muttered, the bottle cool against my palm as I set it on the coffee table. “They’ll get the generators going if it stays out too long.”
“Got candles?” The lightning flickering outside illuminated him. He moved closer to me and I thought he might touch me, but he only kept himself between me and the windows.
I looked up at him, tilting my head to study what I saw there. “You’re putting yourself between me and danger. You’re protecting me?”
His head jerked, like I’d hit him. “Of course I’m protecting you.” The poor man looked so offended I giggled before I could stop myself. “You think that’s funny?”
“Not at all!” I reached over to put my hand on his arm. “It’s just that you look so offended I asked.”
“I’m an ex-con. Not a monster.” I winced as he looked away.
“Hey.” I pressed my hand to his cheek and turned him to face me.
His beard was coarse beneath my hand, and I longed to pet him just to feel the texture over my palm.
“I never thought you were a monster. But I promise you don’t have to protect me from the storm.
Not yet anyway.” I smiled. “It’s a squall and will pass.
My question is, were you trying to get close to me, or did you do it on reflex? ”
He scrubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “I mean, ain’t gonna deny wantin’ to get close to you.” He gave me a heated look. “Wouldn’t be in your apartment if I didn’t.”
I grinned up at him. “Good to know. So, what made you make the decision to put yourself between me and the window?”
“Reflex. I don’t like loud noises.”
“And you automatically protect the person next to you?”
“No. But you’re not just some random person next to me.”
“I’m not?”
He stared at me, his chin going out stubbornly. “No.”
“No? Then what am I?” He cleared his throat, looking everywhere but at me. “Jag?”
He sighed. “You…” He finally met my gaze again. This time, there was a fierce possessiveness that probably should have worried me. “You’re mine.” Again, he lifted his chin, like he was daring me to contradict him.
“Yeah. I think I might be. You don’t sound too happy.”
“Never said that.” He shook his head. “Just… ain’t never had a woman of my own and don’t really want one.”
I had to bite my lip to keep from grinning again. “Then you don’t want me to be yours?”
“No. Yes!” He stood, pacing away, his shoulders slumped. “I don’t… If I care about something, it can be used against me.”
“That’s no way to live.” I approached him slowly, laying my hand on his back. At first he stiffened, then he leaned into my touch before turning around to face me.
“I know I’m not…” He looked off, color tinging his cheeks.
“Normal. I’ve spent more of my life in prison than I have out.
” He knelt slowly in front of me, reaching out to take my hand in his.
It was like he was proposing or something.
And I kind of got the feeling he was, in his own way.
He likely didn’t think of it as proposing marriage, but I could see when I looked at him he intended to keep me. In whatever way he could.
My brain told me I needed to get as far away from the psycho ex-con biker who’d fixated on me.
But I knew better. This man might be many things and certainly capable of violence, but I didn’t believe for an instant he’d hurt me.
First, I trusted my brother with my life.
Second, Knight trusted Jag or he wouldn’t ever get close to me.
“But I swear on my life, Ada,” he continued, “I will never betray you, and I will always keep you safe.”
“I don’t think bad of you, Jag. I also happen to believe you mean everything you say.”
“But?” He looked almost resigned. This man was such a conundrum!
“But nothing.”
“You don’t want me like that.” He made it a statement, his emotions shuttering.
I grinned. “Didn’t say that. I invited you inside my apartment.
I wouldn’t have done that if I hadn’t expected things to go further.
The only thing I want you to keep in mind is I’ve lived a different life than you have.
” I knelt in front of him moving close to him until he sat down on his ass and pulled me to straddle his hips.
“So you’re gonna have to let me catch up.
Because I’m not used to moving as fast as you are, and I don’t want to get my heart broken.
” I was as honest as I could be. At least, I was as honest as I could be with myself.
I felt the same fucking pull to him he obviously did to me.
“I will guard your heart fearlessly, Ada. Ain’t nearly good enough for you but I’m askin’ for a chance to prove I can be what you need.
I will find a way to support us outside the club if you want me to, but the old ladies seem happy here.
Maybe we could stay here until I can find a job?
” The longer he talked, the more unsure he became, but Goddamn, the man wanted this so bad I could see it.
“I don’t know why, but it has to be you.
” By the time he was done, I could see Jag had resigned himself to not being with me and he looked so dejected my heart went out to the guy.
Not out of pity. But because he was trying so hard, wanted to have a chance to prove he could be what I needed in a man. The fact was, I believed him.
“We’ll worry about why you want me later. For now, we’ll get to know each other and see where this leads. Can we start there?”
He slid his arms around my back, pulling me closer to him. “So long as we start.”
“I’m right here,” I whispered. “Ready and willing. Take what you want from me, Jag. We can discuss what comes next after.”
Lightning flashed again, and in that frozen moment of illumination, I saw his control shatter.
His expression broke open. Need and fear and something deeper wrestled across his features.
Never in my life had a man looked at me the way Jag looked at me now.
Darkness swallowed us again, but not before I’d seen everything I needed to.
For whatever reason, I had imprinted on Jag.
Not in a creepy, stalker kind of way. Like a lost-puppy-who’d-found-his-home kind of way.
This man needed something he saw inside me.
Funny Goddamned thing about it was, I wanted to give him whatever he needed.
Not because he was broken. Because he’d put himself back together.
Maybe not completely, and maybe not even with good construction.
But he was trying so hard. All he needed was a little help, and the man would thrive.
I found the idea of being his muse kind of sweet.
I also wanted to see what Jag was like when he was confident in who he was and his place in life.
I also knew that meant we would be staying here.
He released my hand and brushed my face with his rough fingertips against my cheek. He hesitated one last moment before pulling me more fully against him with a desperate, surrendering groan.
His lips found mine in the darkness, hungry and urgent. His kiss tasted like mint and beer and something distinctly him. Raw and unfiltered. I leaned into it, gripping the front of his shirt, pulling him closer.