Chapter 27
Jamie
“You’re not listening to me.”
“Huh?”
“You’re distracted.”
“And you’re boring.”
Ian plants his hands on his hips and studies me.
“Is something going on in that head of yours?”
“Actually, yeah. I was trying to figure out the best way to ignore you without you noticing.”
“Not funny.”
“Don’t you have something to check in the oven?”
“Since when do you know anything about cooking?”
“I smell something weird. Maybe something’s burning.”
“Fuck!”
Ian leaves immediately. Never bring up anything about cooking with him; he freaks out. I make sure he’s occupied with the oven, then peer out from under the stairs to check if Riley is still upstairs with the baby. I pull my phone from my pocket and dial his number.
I tried calling him five times today. I didn’t know what to say without sounding stupid. It’s been almost twenty-four hours since we said goodbye. I can’t wait any longer.
“Hey,” I tell him as soon as I hear his voice.
He seems nervous. He whispers as if he doesn’t want to be heard.
Something dark and consuming rises directly from my stomach, closing my throat. Then the Doctor tells me he’s not alone, and a cough follows.
A man. I’m sure of it. At his house. For dinner. Maybe even after.
I could slam my fist into the wall and break a few fingers; maybe that pain would be enough to drown out everything else.
“My son is here.”
My sigh is so heavy he must hear it, too.
I’m doing okay, right? It’s not like I have a fucking obsession with the Doctor — what he does, how he talks, when he laughs, when he goes to bed. Or who he might be taking to bed.
I want to tell him I called just to hear his voice, but I’m too afraid. I let the sentence hang between us, hoping I’ll stumble onto another excuse. Turns out I don’t need one.
The Doctor knows. The Doctor understands.
And I’m completely fucked.
Ryan was right. A fucking mess. But I’ll never tell him; he won’t get that satisfaction from me.
I just wanted to call you, Doctor. Because all I can think about is you, me, us, about what I’d like to do and do again to you. I want to fucking see you right now. I want to make sure that everything’s okay, that you have no doubts about me, and that you’re looking forward to seeing me again.
I don’t tell him any of this, or it’ll sound like I’m losing my fucking mind.
He wants to see me. I can hear it in his tone and breathing. Also, I can tell from the way he tries to answer without revealing anything about us to his son. This is our secret, and no one else should know.
I know we can’t see each other right away. I have training and the pre-match rest, and I can’t let myself be distracted by the Doctor, or by my thoughts about him and what I’d like to do to him. I have to stay focused on the match, but later…
Ah, later. There will be only the Doctor for his Captain.
I tell him good night. I’ve already said I’m involved, but I’m still not sure I’ve made myself clear. After the way I reacted to our kiss last night, he should understand.
I slide my phone back into my pocket and head into the living room, where Ian and Riley are waiting for me on the couch.
“Time for dinner?”
“Sit down, Jamie,” Ian says.
“Hmm?”
“We need to talk to you.”
I slowly approach and sit down between them.
“I’ll be direct.” I look at Ian, worried. “We heard it all.”
“Ian!” Riley snaps.
“I was being direct!”
“Not that direct! Now we sound like meddlers”
“Isn’t that what we are?”
“No! I mean, maybe a little. But this is Jamie we’re talking about!” My sister says.
“Jamie is right here,” I raise my hand. “In case anyone’s forgotten.”
“Then you do the talking, don’t you?” Ian says to Riley.
“You’ve said it all by now. What am I supposed to do?”
“I don’t know, he’s your brother!”
“And he’s your friend!”
“Yes, but…”
“Enough!” I get up from the sofa and step in front of them. “You overheard a phone call, so what?”
“It was so… Oh, Jamie, just tell me who it is, please!”
“Riley!” Ian snaps.
“What? Don’t I have the right to know?”
“I don’t think so,” Ian says. “Besides, you might not like it.”
Riley scrutinises Ian carefully. They’re talking about my fucking business, but I let them, because I don’t want to miss the moment my sister realises she’s the last to know.
“You!” She shoots to her feet. “You knew!”
“Me? I swear I—”
“Don’t bullshit me, Ian O’Connor.”
“I don’t know shit; I just guessed…”
“You don’t guess. You investigate.”
“This is true.” I side with my sister. After all, she is my blood.
“I just asked a few questions with Ryan…”
“Him too?”
Ah, Ian. From the frying pan into the facking fire
“It was a coincidence…”
Riley whirls towards yours truly. “I can’t believe you talked to him about it first.”
So now I’m the bad guy? When did that happen?
“There’s nothing to talk about. It was just a fucking phone call.”
“Very intimate,” Ian adds.
I knew I should have killed him in the locker room days ago.
“Intimate or not, that’s my own fucking business.”
Ian laughs. “There’s no such thing as your own fucking business.”
“Maybe for you O’Connors, but you forget I’m not part of the family.”
Ian looks at me, still smiling. “Believe it, mate.”
“I have nothing to do with you.”
“Ah, Jamie,” Ian says, resting a hand on my shoulder. “You’re part of this family. And believe me, once the O’Connors set their sights on you, there’s no getting out of it.”
“Not even if my sister files for divorce? Because in that case I would take her side and—”
“Hey!” Riley objects.
“Except your sister is never going to file for divorce…”
“Now you’re really going too far,” Riley gets mad again.
“We’re friends — more like brothers. You’re one of us, and nothing will ever change that. Think of us as one of the plagues of Egypt.”
“That’s not difficult. You manage to embody all of them.”
“Here, we’re Jamie’s plagues, and you’re never getting rid of us.”
“Do you realise this comparison does you no honour?” Riley asks.
“It doesn’t matter, as long as he understands what I mean.”
Unfortunately, I understood it all too well.