Chapter 1 #3
“About an hour ago.” She took a sip of her coffee before continuing.
“My twelve-hour shift was long, but we didn’t have too many overnight cases.
I got a bit of sleep in the on-call room.
” He wrapped her up in his long arms and she laid her head on his chest and sighed.
She remembered a time when she towered over him and it was his head against her chest. Now, her baby was almost an adult.
Realizing she didn’t have that many more years of these kinds of morning greetings, she wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed.
“You got time for breakfast this morning? Do you need to leave early for dance practice, or is it fashion design today?”
That was the problem with working flex time overnights. She did twelve-hour shifts three days a week. As a parent, it was great. She had four days off a week to be there for her son. The only problem was, working those long shifts overnight meant she sometimes mixed up her days of the week.
Thank God for her calendar. She tapped on the icon to see she was right, it was dance practice this morning.
There was an extended pause, which drew her eyes up to his.
“No practice. I can have breakfast with you.”
Something about the way he answered her didn’t sit right with Janae. As a mother, you learned to understand all the cues your kid let slip, whether they meant for the slip to happen or not.
She pulled her phone from the front pocket of her robe and tapped her cellphone screen to check the day of the week. Shiftwork had a habit of blending your days together, so she needed to make certain she wasn’t mixing up her days.
“It’s Thursday, James. You always have early practice on Thursday. Did your schedule change?”
“You could say that.”
He walked over to the fridge to grab a small bottle of apple juice before returning to the counter where she stood.
“Principal Keller called a meeting during last period yesterday to tell us that effective immediately, the extracurricular design and performing arts programs would be suspended due to lack of funding from the district.”
“What?”
James twisted the bottle open, downing half of its contents in one gulp.
“She said announcements would go out to parents’ emails last night, and each of us was to take a written notice home with us.” Adding quickly before she could ask the question, “Mine is in my bag.”
She rarely checked her email at work, making it completely possible to have missed any communication from the school last night. A quick glance at her in-box from her phone, and she pulled the email up.
A fast scan of the email confirmed everything her son had reported. Her stomach sank at the realization of what this actually meant. The truth that would be revealed if this decision was allowed to stand.
“They can’t just do that with no warning.”
“Apparently, they can.” James plopped himself in a chair at the counter. “You making eggs?”
She pulled her head up from her phone and glanced at her son who was already picking up his discarded tablet that sat sleeping on the countertop.
“James, who are you trying to fool, me or you? Don’t sit there and act like this doesn’t bother you. You love that program.”
And so did she, for reasons she couldn’t disclose.
“I do.” He shrugged, purposely keeping his eyes on the screen before him.
Her heart tugged. Ever since James was a child, he’d taken it upon himself to try to not bother her.
That meant he often downplayed things that affected him negatively.
That practice had only gotten worse as problems escalated between her and her ex-husband that would eventually lead to their divorce.
Now, her almost-grown baby boy sat here trying to convince her he wasn’t fazed by any of this. But a mother always knew when things weren’t right. His hyper-focus on that tablet was sign number one.
“James, you love the arts. Dance, fashion, they both mean the world to you.”
He lazily swiped his finger across the screen, still refusing to look at her.
“Well, maybe if I hadn’t loved them so much, Dad would still be here.”
His words pressed heavily on her heart like a rolling boulder crushing everything in its path. She could see that old wound she’d hoped had been permanently closed slowly open back up.
Damn you, Marques Sanders.
Although she and her ex-husband Marq had found a way to co-parent, that hadn’t always been the case. His toxic masculinity, his constant need to impose his ideas of manhood onto their son, had torn a hole so big in their relationship, in their family, they’d never been able to repair the damage.
“James, your father didn’t leave because you love to dance or design clothes. He left because he and I weren’t healthy as a couple. The best thing we could do for you as your parents was separate so we could focus on being there for you instead of wasting our energy constantly fighting.”
James’ weary glance melted, giving her hope he’d somehow found truth in her words. Before she could ascertain whether he believed her or not, his eyes dropped to his screen and went back to playing with his tablet.
“Ma, you don’t have to sugarcoat it for me. I know Dad didn’t think fashion design or dance was manly. I know I was a disappointment to him.”
An angry simmer began to bubble up inside of her. She was pissed at her ex for putting this nonsense into her kid’s head. And she was doubly pissed at the high school principal who was taking away the one thing that made her kid happy.
She took the tablet out of James’ hand, placing a single finger under his chin, and tipping it upward.
“You could never be a disappointment to me or your dad. Your father may have some antiquated ideas about masculinity, but that’s not the same thing as him being disappointed in you. You are the absolute best thing that’s ever happened to us. You hear me?”
She saw some of his natural spark flash in his eyes, and her heart thumped just a little bit harder in her chest.
“Don’t you worry about the arts program. I’m gonna talk to your principal today to find out what’s going on. I’m the PTA president; this is something I should’ve been told before the notice went out to you kids. Let me handle it.”
He nodded and smiled, a real smile that reached his large, brown eyes, pouring concentrated joy directly into her veins.
“Now, would you like some sausage or bacon with those eggs?”
He tilted his head, giving her the “Ma, please” face he always used when he was begging her for something or another.
“Can I have both?”
“I swear you’re gonna eat me out of house and home.”
She gave him a wink and headed to the fridge to grab supplies.
She was gonna feed her baby good, drop him off to school, then have a little talk with the principal.
Because nobody, absolutely nobody, was going to snatch away something that had been so pivotal to her son’s development without hearing a strong word or two from her, especially when this program was one of a few feeder programs to the New York School of Performing and Fashion Arts.
After everything she’d sacrificed to free herself and her son from her ex’s direct influence, there was no way she could allow the one reward her son deserved to be taken away.
“Anything for my son-shine.”