Chapter 23 #2
The memory of Marq barking and stomping around the room as he lost his entire mind still made her tremble.
He was livid. It absolutely gutted him that James didn’t want to take something Marq considered masculine, such as shop or auto mechanics.
But worst of all, even more so than his anger, was the disappointment Janae saw in Marq’s eyes for their son.
And when he’d uttered the words, “Real men don’t take sewing classes, and I’ll be damned if my son does,” something had finally broken in Janae.
She’d known then that if she didn’t remove Marq from their home, where he could have so much more influence over James, her son might never blossom into the human being he was supposed to be.
Ending their marriage and becoming James’ custodial parent had been the best thing for all of them. It was the hardest decision she’d ever had to make, and it was the most difficult time they’d ever experienced as a family. But it had also forced Marq to seek help.
Shortly after their divorce, he began therapy, something he’d outright refused to do when they were married.
The shock of losing his family had forced him to make changes in his thinking.
Going to therapy was the first step on his journey to accepting that there was nothing wrong with James and everything wrong with the way he saw James and by extension, himself.
“You are the best son in the world, James.” She raised her hands to her face and cupped both his cheeks. “And I can’t wait to wear this gorgeous dress of yours.”
“Good,” he replied. “Now get back on that block so I can finish pinning it.”
Just as she climbed back up, the doorbell rang. She turned to step down again, but James stopped her with a sharp look.
“Nope, you stay right there. I’ll get it.”
When he reappeared back in her bedroom, Cree and Vanessa were on his heels.
“Girl!” Cree squealed. “I can already tell that dress is going to be amazing on you.”
Janae turned to the mirror, swaying this way and that as a proud smile lifted the corners of her mouth. “My baby is so talented.”
“He sure is,” Cree agreed. “Hey, James, you think you could use your magic to make me look that amazing in a dress? I’ll pay you market value for the work.”
Janae watched as James’ eyes lit up wide with surprise as he stared at Cree then snapped his attention back to Janae as if he needed confirmation he’d heard what he’d thought he’d heard.
“If your mom’s okay with it, I’d really love to work with you.”
Janae could see James’ face break into a broad smile and her heart continued to melt right there in her chest.
“Mom, can I?”
“If you want to.” She smiled at her son before lifting an amused look to her friend. “If Ms. Cree comes correct with your paper, I don’t see a problem with it.”
“I said I’d pay the young man market value, didn’t I?”
“You better,” Janae replied before turning toward the full-length mirror to get another glimpse of herself. “Because this isn’t just talent, it’s vision and skill too. Don’t be out here trying to get the family hook up.”
Cree placed one hand against her heart as if they were back in elementary school and she were getting ready to cite the Pledge of Allegiance. “I swear I will.”
“Thanks, Ms. Cree.” James launched himself at Cree, barely giving her enough time to brace herself against the excited affection he was throwing at her. He gave her a tight but brief hug, then waved at Janae and Vanessa and said he’d be back in a few to finish up.
“Even unfinished, that gown looks amazing on you, Janae.” Vanessa’s voice had a whimsical tone to it, and given that Vanessa was a numbers person, always needing concrete quantitative data before she could believe or endorse something, it was the highest compliment of James’ work.
“He’s really proud of it, and so am I.” Janae looked at herself in the mirror again, smoothing her hands gently down the curve of each hip, delighting in the wide A-line skirt that had so much movement, Janae couldn’t help but to sway this way and that.
“Oh, you’re more than proud of it,” Cree said. “You’ve got that devilish look in your eye like you’re about to hit your target dead center.”
Even if she tried, which she wasn’t, Janae couldn’t keep the smile off her face. Cree was right. She was thinking of a certain tall man with locs and how seeing her in this outfit was going to test the cool facade he always walked around with.
“You’re really into Adam, aren’t you?” Vanessa’s question took Janae by surprise, causing her to nearly lose balance on the block she was standing on.
Always there to catch her when she fell, in the literal sense too, each friend grabbed a hand and helped her step carefully down onto the carpeted floor of her bedroom.
“Adam’s ah-ight.”
Her friends shared a knowing glance before leveling their dual gazes, filled with suspicion, onto her.
“He’s more than all right, and you know it,” Vanessa continued. “Admit it, you’re into him.”
The denial was forming on her tongue, but when she caught a glimpse of her king-size bed and how Adam had owned her in it, the lie disintegrated before she could respond.
“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like him, even though I don’t want to.”
“Why don’t you want to?” Vanessa’s question was valid. Adam was attractive, interesting, employed, responsible, great in bed, and most important of all, he and her kid got along. What woman wouldn’t want those traits wrapped up into the man she was seeing?
But are you really seeing him, though?
She was seeing him naked, that was for certain.
She was also loving every minute of having Adam’s golden brown skin on display ready for her touch.
But seeing him implied an emotional intimacy she wasn’t quite sure she was ready to permit.
And did she really just break down the various meanings of the word “seeing” in her head and applied them to her connection to Adam? Yeah, she was definitely in trouble.
“There’s a lot riding on this fundraising. I just don’t want to create any tension that ends up sabotaging the creative arts program’s ability to get funding.”
Cree walked over to the foot bench at the bottom of Janae’s bed and made herself comfortable. “That’s a likely story, Janae, but I don’t think you really believe that.”
“Thanks for the psychoanalysis that I didn’t ask for, Dr. Philomena.” Janae knew her voice had that petulant child quality to it she absolutely hated in other people. But it was the only defense she had since everyone in that room knew she was lying through her teeth.
“I don’t get it,” Vanessa said as she moved closer to the bench and sat next to Cree. “What’s so wrong with Adam? Granted, I don’t know him as well as you two do, but he seems to be a pretty good guy.”
“He is a good guy,” Cree answered.
Janae began fiddling with an imaginary thread on the dress at Cree’s words. She was trying to figure out a way in her head to minimize how much she was enjoying Adam, and she couldn’t. Then she realized quickly, she didn’t want to either.
“Cree’s right,” Janae admitted. “Adam is a good man.”
“Then why the hesitation?” Vanessa’s question landed squarely in Janae’s chest, forcing her to face her doubts.
“I didn’t pick well with Marq and it’s making me doubt myself now.”
Her words came out quick as if she were afraid she wouldn’t be able to get them all out if she took a breath.
“I like Adam a lot. I’ve decided no matter how my insecurities are picking at me, I’m not gonna let them stop me from seeing whatever this thing is with him.”
Her girls kept their eyes on her with matching comforting smiles on their faces.
“We all have fears,” Cree whispered quietly.
“But if there’s anyone who can fight her way through them, it’s you, Janae.”
Vanessa glanced at Janae with a look that was mixed with a lot of compassion and a little bit of side-eye.
“I stayed married to an emotionally abusive asshole for twenty years. I think I get the doubting yourself part better than most. But just like you reminded me that Michael wasn’t my ex, I’m gonna remind you that Adam isn’t yours. ”
Vanessa’s words soothed the rawness she’d been burying inside since her last argument with her mother.
The woman had called Janae’s demand for respect a chip on her shoulder.
Making Janae question if fighting was as good for her as she’d always believed.
As she listened to her friends, she knew her fighting spirit was her best asset.
Her demand to be treated with care and kindness wasn’t unreasonable.
It was her best way of protecting herself.
Adam and her girls understood that, and they didn’t fault her for it.
Cree bumped her other shoulder, getting in on the love fest. “She’s right.
You deserve this, Janae. Whether it lasts a day or forever, whatever it is, you deserve to have some fun.
So stop overthinking it and gather that man and let him know you’re about to ruin him for any other woman who comes after you. ”
Janae’s smile broadened on its own as she thought about the handful of times she and Adam had ravaged each other’s bodies.
“I sure as shit am.” Janae’s statement sent them into a fit of giggles, “Besides, he’s halfway to ruining me, so it’s only fair as far as I’m concerned.”
“Well then,” Vanessa said in a matter-of-fact voice. “Let’s get your boy in here to finish this dress. Because as hot as you look in that number, there’s no way Adam will ever be the same once he sees you in this on the runway.”
Janae walked to the mirror and took an appreciative glance at herself. Liking what she saw, she was inclined to agree with Vanessa. She was about to wreck that man in the best way, and she didn’t feel the slightest bit bad about it.