Chapter 28
Janae walked down the hall of the surgical stepdown ward lugging a thermal food bag in one hand and a bag with some miscellaneous things in the other.
Adam’s father’s surgery had gone better than expected. His leg was properly set and he’d had no complications from the anesthesia. He’d woken up a few hours later in recovery, barking at the nursing staff to get that plastic contraption out of his nose.
Janae and his assigned nurse had laughed, and helped him remove the nasal cannula before he started pulling at the leads and connections he needed to keep in place.
Janae had sat by Adam’s side, translating the medical jargon so that he and his mother were informed, and they were relieved to know Grady Henderson was going to be just fine.
This morning, she’d dozed off in the family waiting room with her head against Adam’s shoulder, with him stroking her arm until her eyes fluttered open.
“Hey, you,” he greeted her. “You’ve been here all night.”
She rubbed her hands down the length of her face before sitting up. “Where else would I be?”
He laced his fingers through hers, pulling her hand into his lap and covering their joined hands with his other one.
“You could be at home in your bed. You know you didn’t have to stay here, right?”
She nodded. “But I wanted to be here. I see how difficult it can be when families come here without support. You and your mom had enough to deal with, if I could lessen your anxiety by helping out, I wanted to do it.”
He leaned in, and kissed her forehead. It was a sweet gesture, meant to express gratitude. But somewhere deep inside, her heart swelled, making her chest feel tight.
If one of her patients described this feeling, she’d have them attached to a cardiac monitor and a stethoscope pressed against their chest faster than she could yell stat.
She was an experienced enough clinician to know there was nothing physically or medically wrong with her. This was something deeper than flesh, bone, and blood. This feeling, it touched her soul.
“Thank you,” he whispered against her temple and kissed her again. “My mother and I couldn’t have made it through this without you. But you gotta go home, babe. Go get some rest.”
“Are you sure?” She looked up to find sincerity twinkling in his eyes.
“Janae, if I could, I would keep you here by my side. But I know you’re gonna have to go back to work in another two days. I don’t want you worn out from being here with us. Go get some real sleep at home.”
Her heart had quivered just a little bit at him wanting to keep her near. The compassion in his voice coupled with the gentleness of his touch disarmed her, but she didn’t feel scared or skeptical. She felt secure.
“I’ll come back once I’ve rested. You’ll call me if anything changes, right?”
He nodded, leaning down and pressing his lips against hers. “Of course I will.”
Janae stood to leave and Adam gave her hand one last squeeze. “I’m sorry, Janae. I was out of line last night and I—”
She kissed him to stop whatever he was about to say.
“It’s forgotten. Focus on your dad, okay?”
She’d left him with a smile on his face and warmth in her heart. Making her way home, in short time, she’d texted her son to see how he was doing at his dad’s, showered, and collapsed into her bed in short order.
When she woke up, the first thing she did was check her phone for any messages from Adam.
There were none, so she decided she’d make a quick run to the local diner, pick up some food for Adam and his mom, and then head back over to the hospital.
And here she was, back again, walking to the stepdown ward, juggling her bags while she used her work ID to let herself inside.
She waved at the nurse sitting at the nursing station, and then headed for the room.
“Adam, you see how that Coach Prime is out there leading them young men to victory on the football field? If you’d listened to me, kept your head in the game, and had a little more backbone, you coulda found yourself coaching college ball in the NCAA after you retired from the NBA.”
“Pop.” Adam’s voice sounded weary, like his physical exhaustion had somehow bled into his soul.
She’d walked into this building calm and replenished after Adam had forced her to go take care of herself, and hearing him sound so defeated took her from Zen to pissed the hell off in two-point-five seconds flat.
“Don’t ‘Pop’ me.”
She bristled at Grady’s reprimand and realized that she’d like to pop the old man, but in an altogether different way.
“I’m gonna call Coach Hadley and you’re gonna go see him about that job.”
“Pop, I told you no before and I meant it. You’re in the hospital. I don’t want to argue with you while you should be focusing on your recovery. I’m an educator. That’s who I chose to be, who I want to be.”
Grady harrumphed from his bed, grimacing his disapproval.
“All that book learning you got and ain’t got a licka sense, walking away from all that money, fame, and prestige, such a waste of potential. Now you’re about to walk away from another great opportunity simply because you don’t want to listen to me.”
Janae knew what it felt like to have your parent’s disappointment poured over you like a second, ill-fitting skin that compressed you in all the wrong places.
That. Was. It.
She wouldn’t stand by and be silent while Adam’s father tried to strip this man of his accomplishments and his dignity.
“With all due respect, Mr. Henderson.” All eyes landed on her as she walked into the room.
She was sure her pinched face and lifted brow showed that she didn’t think the man deserved any respect in that moment.
She took a calming breath, trying to keep her words as civil as she could because she didn’t want to hurt Mrs. Henderson or Adam.
“You’re wrong about your son.” She sat her bags on a nearby table and turned her attention back to Adam’s father.
“Adam stepped away from a game to make a difference in the lives of children, and there could be no braver or more virtuous thing to do. Adam is one of the smartest people I know, the only person who could give me a run for my money academically when we were in school. Knowing that he’s been willing to put his big brain to use to help the children in our community instead of using his body to profit makes him the best kind of man there is. ”
She stepped closer to the side of the bed to make sure Grady Henderson saw her when she said what she had to say next.
“You won’t find anyone … and I do mean anyone … who can compare.”
The old man looked like a petulant child stewing in his juices sitting in that hospital bed with his lips poked out and his arms crossed against his chest.
He looked to his son and then his wife, and when neither of them said anything to defend him, he returned his attention to Janae.
“Just who the hell do you think you are coming in here talking to me like that?”
“I’m someone who cares for your son, and you’re hurting him. Can’t you see that? Can’t you see how hurt your wife is listening to you speak about her son like that?”
Adam’s mother’s eyes watered as she fought back tears. And the pain in her eyes told Janae that hurt had nothing to do with her husband, and everything to do with her baby boy.
Mothers recognized mothers.
“You better get this piece a woman of yours outta here before I call security.”
“Call ’em,” Janae encouraged. “They’ll throw you out before they’ll come for me.”
“Boy, you better get her.”
Adam stood up, Janae could see the cords of his neck straining. Couple that with the tight lines on his face and the ruddy flush under his skin, and Janae knew that this was Adam pissed. His eyes were dark with rage and fixated on her, making her feel boxed in like a hunted animal.
In that moment, the part of her that had always had to fight for herself sounded the alarm that she needed to prepare to fight again.
She bristled against that thought. Adam couldn’t be angry at her for speaking to his father like that, could he?
Adam was different, she needed him to be different. Would he be different?
“Janae.”
The sound of her name on his lips matched with the gold flecks of fire in his hazel eyes was all her fight-or-flight instinct needed to kick in.
She refused to run. She never had. She damn sure wouldn’t start now. Not even when the sight of his anger directed at her made her want to curl up in a corner and cry.
She didn’t want to cry because she was afraid of Adam. No, she wanted to cry because just this morning she’d languished in the vulnerability she felt with him. And now she was back to the same old same old. On her own, with her back against the wall, squaring up to protect herself.
“Nope. You don’t have to say anything. If you can fix your lips to call my name after your father disrespected me while I was attempting to defend you, then you don’t have front to say that I want to hear.”
Her head told her to slow down. Take a minute.
But the ball of anxiety and hurt sitting in the middle of her chest wouldn’t allow her to let reason abide.
The reason she’d always survived was because she checked folks the second they crossed her boundaries.
It worked when her ex-husband imploded their family.
It worked when her mother had done her level best to destroy Janae’s confidence.
Her protective instincts told her it had to work now when the ache of disappointment and heartbreak felt like a vise around her throat, blocking the life-giving air she needed.
No, she wouldn’t stay a moment longer. Because this time, if she stayed, she was certain this would be the first time she’d lose at keeping herself safe.
Without a single second of hesitation, Janae opened the door to the small room and kept putting one foot in front of the other, even when she heard Adam calling for her to come back, to wait, to not go.