Chapter 30
“Hey, Ma!”
Janae was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of James’ excited voice. When she looked up from the tea she’d been sipping, she found her son walking through the back door and his father following closely behind him.
“Hey, baby.” She mustered up a smile for him, glancing down at her watch quickly so he wouldn’t see the hurt she was trying hard to bury since she and Adam had had their blowup two weeks ago.
When James turned to his father without noticing something was off in her mood, she was grateful. “Thanks for the ride, Dad. You’re still coming to the variety show at the end of the week, right?”
“The only thing that could keep me away is an order from my CO.” Their son nodded, giving Marq a broad smile before he dove in for one of their tight hugs.
“See you then, Dad.”
The boy turned toward the door leading to the living room, stopping briefly to plant a sweet kiss on Janae’s cheek before leaving the room.
“Everything okay?”
Janae looked up at Marq slightly bemused. He’d never been particularly intuitive when it came to her moods when they were together. It was almost odd that he seemed to have a deeper understanding of her emotions now.
“If you’d asked me something like that when we were married, we might still be together.”
He shook his head. “No, we wouldn’t. I was too much of a self-centered ass to see or care about anyone else’s emotions other than mine. It took me losing everything to change my thinking, my ways, and my views.”
She chuckled. “So, you’re saying losing me made you a better man?”
“It did,” he admitted. “I hit rock bottom when I lost you and our family. I knew if I didn’t make some changes, I was going to lose everything else I had going for me: our son, my job, it would all be gone.
You having the courage to leave me changed my life.
So, the least I can do is be an ear when something’s going on … if you’ll let me.”
Her heart warmed at this version of her ex-husband. This man was intuitive and patient in a way that the old Marq never was. This Marq was a man she wanted to trust with her inner thoughts.
“I’ve been seeing someone.” She waited for his reaction, looking to see if any remnants of the old Marq were there.
“The new superintendent?” Before she could form the question of how he knew on her lips, he shrugged.
“It wasn’t obvious.” He smiled as he grabbed a chair and sat down at the kitchen table next her.
“But I could see the subtle glances you two kept giving each other when you and I were talking after the fashion show.”
“And you didn’t say anything?”
He shrugged, leaning back into his chair. She kept watching for signs of anger or distress, but Marq’s face remained smooth except for the teasing sparkle she saw in his eyes.
“What could I say? You’re a grown woman. I trust you to make your own decisions. If you’re giving your time to him, then I’m assuming he’s a good guy. Was I wrong?”
She breathed deeply, trying to figure out how to answer that complicated question.
“Adam is a good guy.”
He gave his finger a quick tap on the table. “But you two are still having problems?”
She looked at Marq, unsure of why she felt the need to discuss this with him. They hadn’t been together in years. With the exception of James, her personal life didn’t concern him.
“There are two major issues. The first is that James mentioned to Adam that he wanted you and I to reconcile. Adam being such a decent person, he decided that stepping aside to let that happen would be the honorable thing to do.”
He nodded slowly as he considered her words. “And if that displeased look on your face is to be believed, I’d guess he didn’t discuss this decision with you before he made it, did he?”
“No, he did not,” she huffed, crossing her arms in exasperation. “I know it seems like such a silly thing to be mad over, especially since he was trying to do right by our son. But it made me livid.”
Marq stared at her. His eyes were filled with so much compassion, it almost hurt to look at him.
“Intention doesn’t mean he didn’t hurt you, Janae. Regardless of his intent, he crossed a line. You have every right to be upset.”
“But?” She waited for him to drop the other half of his statement, because she was sure there had to be more to it than his agreement with her perspective.
“But, considering his intent, do you want to give him the opportunity to rectify the situation?” She attempted to answer, but he held up his hand to stop her.
“Let’s put that on pause. Tell me about the second issue?”
Janae went on to explain what happened at the hospital with Adam’s father and the resulting wedge it drove between them.
“This dude can’t seem to help getting on your bad side, can he?”
Janae laughed. It was a fair assessment. Hell, it was pretty much the entire narrative of their collective interactions from their childhood rivalry.
“Janae, I abused your trust time and time again to manipulate you into doing what I wanted, what was best for me. You gave me so many chances to get my shit together over the years.”
“And you’re suggesting I do the same thing with Adam?”
“No,” he replied before taking a breath and sliding his hand across the table, laying it atop hers.
“What I’m saying is, it appears Adam was trying to do right by our son.
And while fumbling the bag the second time, he was in between a rock and a hard place when his sick father and his woman were at odds. ”
He gave her a consoling smile and continued.
“I’m just saying, that should at least warrant a little grace.
Chew him out, give him hell about his behavior.
But when you’re done putting him in his place—and if you’re the same Janae I know and once loved, I know you will put him in his place—then, and only then, give him a chance to rectify his screw ups. ”
She raised her hand to his forehead, making a show of checking his temperature.
“You sure you’re all right? The Marq Sanders I knew would never show such benevolence.”
“The Marq Sanders you knew hit rock bottom when he stupidly lost the woman he loved and the family they created together. He’s learned his lesson; now he only wants his ex to be happy.
” He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “You deserve it after all the hell he … I put you through. If this Adam makes you happy, then I want him to get his act together and be the man you need him to be, the man you deserve, the man I couldn’t be. ”
Janae had waited a long time to hear that admission from Marq. The shell around her heart slightly receded, and she knew she needed to talk to Adam at the very least. She’d left before he could say anything and everyone deserved to be heard. She owed him at least that much.
She pulled her phone out of her pocket and opened the texting app.
If you’re up to it, I’d like to talk at my house after the fundraiser.
Three dots appeared on her screen followed quickly by, I’ll be there.
There, this was her being open-minded. This was her facing her fears. She only hoped it didn’t get her heart broken all over again.
Restless and unable to sleep after she’d spoken to Marq, Janae picked up half a shift at work just to give herself something to do.
Work was the only place she felt normal.
It was the only place where her mind wasn’t locked on Adam Henderson.
Was it healthy for her to avoid her feelings by putting in extra shifts?
Nope, not in the least. Was she going to keep doing it until she could get some sort of distance and perspective on everything that was going on? Absolutely.
Thankfully, her shift was busy, leaving little time for her to do anything but focus on patient care. By the time she made it home and walked through her back door, all she wanted was a hot shower and her bed to get rid of the bone-weary exhaustion dogging her.
As soon as she opened the back door, familiar smells from her childhood enveloped her.
Her mother was mostly a health nut for as long as Janae could remember, but in times of unimaginable happiness or deep sorrow, she reverted to her southern roots and pulled out her cast-iron pots and skillets to make a good ole soul food meal.
If her nose hadn’t led her wrong, she could smell bacon, cheese grits, and buttermilk biscuits. She stepped inside the room and found her mother busying about in her kitchen and fear instantly gripped Janae. What was this about? Why was she here doing this?
“Mama, did something happen to my son-shine?”
Evelyn’s head snapped up from the pot she was stirring on the range with a pinched vee between her brows.
“No.” Evelyn shook her head as she spoke. “He just left for school. He had a full belly and went on his way.”
“Then is it my daddy? Did something happen to my daddy?”
“No,” Evelyn replied in the same questioning tone. “Not that I keep tabs on him, but as far as I know, he’s fine. What’s with all the doom and gloom questions, Janae?”
Janae blinked a few times before getting a hold of herself and finding the clarity of thought to realize she needed to close the door.
“Mama.” She returned her gaze to Evelyn. “You’re standing in my kitchen cooking all the foods you tried to make me avoid for much of my life. Did something happen?”
Evelyn’s eyes widened with enlightenment. “I promise you, nothing has happened to my grandbaby, your father”—Evelyn took a long pause as if she were questioning if she should say the next part—“… or me.”
Janae’s mind tried to unpack those last words. Evelyn had said them as if she didn’t know whether Janae would be concerned about her well-being in the same way she cared about her father and her son.
They’d fought like cats and dogs most of Janae’s life. Janae refused to back down to any of her mother’s nonsense. But that didn’t mean she didn’t care about her. It just meant she was exasperated by her views.
But have you ever told her that?