Chapter 31
Adam stood in front of the small mirror on the back wall of his office, fiddling with the oversized lapels of his costume shirt.
“I look completely ridiculous.”
He glanced to his right to see Derrick’s smile broaden. “That’s the point, right? To make a complete and utter fool of yourself for love?”
“I fail to see how dressing up as a fashion reject from the sixties is going to win me points with Janae.”
“It will make her laugh.”
“At me,” Adam moaned.
“Yes, but her laughing at you will disarm her and give you the chance to show her how sorry you are for fucking up and how committed you are to making things right.”
Adam turned around to look at his friend, surprised such a thoughtful and insightful perspective had come from Derrick.
“What?” Derrick shrugged. “I’m not as shallow as I seem?”
“You said it,” Adam replied. “I didn’t.”
“I can be deep when I want to, Adam. The problem is, the people around me don’t always give me the chance to let my deeper side show.”
The seriousness in Derrick’s voice tugged at something in Adam, making him turn around and take a long look at his friend.
It was true, Derrick was the laid-back jokester in their bunch, never taking himself, or anyone else, too seriously.
As Adam looked beyond Derrick’s smile, he saw a glimmer of pain on the man’s face.
That pain included Adam because he knew he’d been one of many people who had obviously misjudged Derrick.
“Derrick, I’m sorry.”
Derrick shrugged, his smile growing wider attempting to douse the discomfort Adam had glimpsed a moment ago. “For what?”
“For being one of the foolish people in your life who never truly appreciated all of you.” He gripped Derrick’s shoulder, attempting to convey things he knew his words would never fully explain. “I’m one of your best friends. More than anyone, I should be able to see all of you.”
Derrick dropped his head slightly, closing his eyes and taking a deep, steadying breath before he met Adam’s eyes again. When he did, Adam saw nothing but compassion filling them, a testament to how big and forgiving Derrick’s heart was.
“I don’t often show people that side of me. Caring too much only gets you hurt.”
Adam wanted to say something more, dig deeper to get to the crux of what Derrick was talking about. Showing his perceptive side again, his friend must have sensed Adam’s intention because he swiped Adam’s hand off his shoulder and walked over to the large round box sitting on Adam’s desk.
“Tonight’s not about me, man.” Derrick opened the box, pulling out a large magenta porkpie hat and presenting it to Adam. “It’s about you doing everything you can to get your woman back. You do this right, and I promise Janae will be at least open to talking to you again.”
Adam couldn’t believe he was betting everything he wanted on that pink-purplish throwback from 1969.
As he stood there, questioning his own sanity, he realized he’d lost his relationship with his father and the woman he loved in the same day.
At this point, losing his pride shouldn’t concern him if it gave him a chance at winning back Janae.
He took the hat from Derrick and turned back to the mirror and placed it slowly atop his head. With his long locs pulled into a low-sitting ponytail at the nape of his neck, the hat fit perfectly.
“I think I’m ready,” Adam said, staring at his reflection.
Derrick walked up behind him, shaking his head. He reached out, tilting the hat so that the right side dipped lower than the left. He stepped back admiring his handiwork. “Now you’re ready.”
Adam had to agree. As silly as he thought he looked in a light brown paisley shirt with large lapels paired with bell-bottom slacks of the same color and a purple suede vest with fringe hanging off the edges, that wide-brimmed hat seemed to bring everything together.
He was admiring himself when his office phone rang. Even when he was officially off the clock, it seemed he was never off duty in this place.
“Hello, Dr. Henderson speaking. How may I help you?”
“Dr. Henderson, this is Marq Sanders, James’ father.”
Adam’s fingers tightened around the phone. He didn’t need the clarification. He knew exactly who Marq Sanders was to both James and Janae.
“Lt. Col. Sanders. How may I help you?”
“If it’s not too much of an imposition, I was hoping I could come up to your office and speak to you briefly before the variety show begins.”
Adam quickly contemplated Marq’s request. The tone of the man’s voice didn’t alarm Adam in any way. Yet, Adam could only surmise this was about how Adam had botched up his relationship with Janae.
“Sure. I’ll call the front desk to get you clearance. Come right up.”
Adam turned around to find Derrick’s eyes lasered on him. “Was that Janae’s ex?”
“Yeah,” Adam answered.
“What did he want?”
“To talk to me,” Adam replied. When he saw Derrick open his mouth to ask a follow-up question, Adam held up his hand to stop him.
“He didn’t state what he wants to talk about.
Given that I don’t have any direct contact with James from an academic standpoint, and considering the circumstances between Janae and me, I can only assume he wants to chew me out about how I mucked things up with her. ”
Derrick’s brow furrowed as he peered at Adam. “And you just invited him up? This dude is military, you don’t think he’s coming up here to try to turn you into a pretzel?”
The thought hadn’t crossed his mind until Derrick brought it up. “I highly doubt that man is going to risk his career trying to harm me for mishandling my relationship with his ex-wife. And we both know if Janae found out, he’d be more afraid of her than any military punishment.”
Adam’s words seemed to soothe Derrick. “Fine, but I’m staying right here when he arrives.”
“No, you are not.”
Adam saw defiance in Derrick’s eyes. His friend might be laid-back, but he was fiercely protective of those he cared about. Adam had counted himself lucky to be part of that number all these years.
“Derrick, assuming I can repair my relationship with Janae, I’m gonna have to deal with this man sooner or later. It’s better we do it now, and hopefully we can establish a rapport between us that won’t cause Janae and James any friction later.”
“God, you’re such an adult.” Derrick’s muttering caused Adam to chuckle. He wasn’t as mature as his friend made him out to be, only realistic. Adam was determined to get back into Janae’s good graces and Marq Sanders wouldn’t stand in the way of that.
“If it makes you feel better,” Adam suggested, “you can go down the hall and hang out at the security desk. I promise, if I get the slightest hint that he plans to break me apart with his bare hands, I’ll call for help.”
Derrick nodded and slowly made his way out of Adam’s office.
When he was gone, Adam picked up the phone and gave the security officer’s Marq’s name.
Remembering he was in costume, he pulled the hat from his head and rested it atop his desk.
Just because he was willing to make a fool of himself in front of Janae didn’t mean he’d allow Marq that privilege of seeing him do so up close.
In no time at all, Adam could see Marq stepping into the reception area. The man’s form was tall and imposing, but nothing about his posture or features seemed to express any malicious intent, so Adam stepped into the doorway of his office and waved the man inside.
Adam offered him a seat in front of Adam’s desk while he took his own on the other side.
“Lt. Col. Sanders, it’s a pleasure to see you again. What can I do for you?”
“Please, call me Marq. Considering our apparent personal connection, it doesn’t make sense to stand on formality as far as I’m concerned.”
“Personal connection?” Adam wasn’t sure how much Janae had told her ex-husband, and Adam wasn’t going to be the one to spread her business around if she didn’t see fit to share it herself.
“I know you and Janae are seeing each other. She told me all about it.”
Adam decided he would continue to choose his words carefully until he could fully discern what Marq wanted.
“If that’s true, then you know that we’re no longer seeing each other.”
“Yeah, because you messed up big-time.”
Adam couldn’t deny Marq’s assertion. “If you came here to tell me how foolish I was, trust me, I already know.”
“Good,” Marq responded. “Then half my reason for coming is done.”
“And the other half?” Adam waited for Marq’s reply, searching for any clue to the man’s thinking as they stared at each other. But somewhere in the midst of Adam trying to mentally size Marq up, Adam found compassion in the man’s eyes.
“If you were able to get close enough to Janae that she would allow you around our son, then I’m also assuming she told you why and how our marriage ended.”
Adam remained quiet, giving Marq the opportunity to continue uninterrupted.
“I was so insecure, I foolishly tried to dominate her and ended up alienating her and losing the most important thing to me—my family. Worse yet, I never protected her from her family or mine. She deserved so much better than I gave her.”
“Marq, you’ll get no argument from me that Janae is a wonderful woman who deserves the best in life.”
Marq nodded, leaning forward slightly as he continued. “Agreed. And from what I could gather from my conversation with her, you’re the person who makes her happy, at least you were before you left her unprotected.”
Adam’s wry laughter filled the room as he tilted his head slightly while looking at Marq.
“That sounds a lot like the pot calling the kettle black.”
Marq’s relaxed smile put Adam at ease. “You’re right,” he replied.
“That’s exactly why I’m qualified to call you out on your bullshit.
I let my ego and immaturity cost me the most important thing in my life.
I hurt my wife, my son, and myself in the process.
I’m not here to threaten you or to try to warn you off my ex.
I’m here to tell you don’t be like me. Don’t lose this precious woman.
Don’t break her heart. Be better than me and be the man she needs.
A partner, someone who will walk beside her, someone who will take on the world to keep her heart safe. ”
Adam regarded Marq carefully, looking for any hint of insincerity. But the only thing he found was concern for the woman they both cared deeply for.
“For what it’s worth, it was my intention to protect Janae from my father. She just didn’t give me the chance to explain that.”
Marq tilted his head, offering Adam a look of sympathy. “Janae doesn’t give anyone the chance to hurt her. She strikes first and hard. Don’t let that be an excuse to let her push you away.”
“Of all the things I expected you to say to me, this wasn’t it. Why try to help me patch things up with Janae? You obviously still care about her. Why not use this opportunity to try to find your way back to her?”
“Because even though Janae has forgiven me for the things I did and the way I treated her, I can’t forgive myself.
Considering the horrible things I did, I don’t deserve her.
I couldn’t see that then, but I’m fully aware of it now.
The best I can do is wish her well and hope for her to find the kind of love, the kind of man she’s always deserved. ”
Adam appreciated Marq’s candor, a newfound respect growing for the man sitting across his desk from him. Marq’s self-awareness was a testament to his growth and evolution. Adam knew he was benefiting from that growth right now.
“Thank you for your advice and your candor, Marq.”
“Are you going to use it, though?”
“I don’t know that Janae will ever forgive me. But I can tell you that I’m going to do everything in my power to show her how much she means to me. I just hope it’s enough to mend the rift between us.”