1 #4
With a rustle of pale green silk, she stood up abruptly and, careless of her thin leather shoes, walked a little way along the muddy road in the deep shade cast by the trees.
“A day or so later I had a letter full of apologies from Digby, hoping that our friendship had not been spoiled in any way by what he called his ‘attempts to prove himself affable to my twin sister and so win her approval of any future connection between us’. He … he professed to ardently admire and love me!”
“Goodness, that is practically a proposal!”
Jane laughed but it was not a happy sound and she walked further along the road, as if she could not bear to stand still for too long.
“I am glad to hear you say that because I thought so, too. After that we met twice in London—the first time was at a large gathering held for Bennetta’s coming out in July.
I was so happy. We danced, we sat on the terrace, oh Susannah, I could not possibly have imagined his feelings for me.
I am not the sort of girl who thinks every man she meets will fall in love with her.
“Then just two days later, Digby came to call at Matlock House, to thank my parents for the pleasant evening and we walked together in the garden—although I admit I sensed a certain restraint in his manner towards me. However, I imagined that was because his family had of late suffered from a disaster. Everyone was talking about it at every social occasion.”
“The Frobishers live in Cheshire, I believe. Yes, there were rumours about them. Did not Mr Frobisher Snr lose a vast fortune out in the West Indies?”
Jane nodded. “Indeed, in Antigua, but Digby said very little about it although it was clear he was concerned for his father. However, rightly or wrongly, I believed that they were still a wealthy family and would easily weather the financial storm.”
“A gentleman’s lack of a very great fortune would not have mattered to you if you truly loved him. He was not likely to be destitute and ask you to live in a hovel!”
The breeze swirled along the hedgerow, trembling the late blossoms of honeysuckle that trailed amongst the briars, sending their perfume spinning through the warm air.
Jane looked back in her mind at all that had transpired.
“Of course not. He had already told me in general conversation that he had money of his own, left by a doting grandfather, but he made no offer although he was as warm and affectionate in his behaviour towards me as ever, only, as I said, a little more formal. I thought it just a matter of time, that when his family problems had been eased and he could concentrate on happier things, he would approach Papa for my hand.”
“And had you told him of your feelings?”
“Not in so many words, no, but Susannah, he could not have been in any doubt that I cared for him.”
The older woman looked doubtful; in the two years since she had first met Jane Darcy, she had never seen any indication of strong emotion cross her face and although she had never been in love herself, she knew that gentlemen sometimes needed confirmation that their advances would not be rejected.
“Quickly, my dear, tell me the end of this story. We must return to the carriage. I can see Archie signalling that he is ready to set off once more.”
Jane raised her chin and stared bravely at her companion.
“Oh the end is very easy to report. Last week, Digby came to stay at Pemberley. I am sure you can imagine how pleased I was to see him, although I was puzzled, I didn’t understand who had invited him.
It turned out to be Anne. The day after he arrived, he went to Papa and asked for Anne’s hand in marriage! ”
Susannah stood still in the middle of the road. She had no words to express her horror.
“You may well look surprised. Perhaps you can imagine my shock, my despair.”
“I don’t understand; are you saying Anne is in love with Digby Frobisher?”
Jane shook her head impatiently. “No, of course not. Digby is far too insignificant a person in society for Miss Darcy of Pemberley to marry. She refused his offer and he left without even seeing me. She says she led him on for my sake; to show me that he was nothing but a fortune hunter, that appearances can be deceptive. That he would have settled for me, but when she pretended to like him, he saw a chance of a better catch.”
“A clumsy way of helping. A word or two in confidence to you would perhaps have been more advisable. But you don’t believe she acted in your interest?”
Jane bit her lip, her blue eyes misted with tears she refused to shed.
“I don’t know. I feel so betrayed. Even if she is telling the truth, why, as you rightly say, not speak to me about it?
She is my twin. I had lately confided in her that I thought I loved Digby.
She knew how much this would hurt me but went ahead anyway. ”
“What does your mama say?”
“Oh Mama is cross with her but believes that she acted from the best of intentions. But you have not yet heard the worst of what occurred. The next day I received yet another letter from Digby—oh, he writes so well—he should write romances, the type of book Bennetta reads!”
“But what could he possibly say in mitigation?”
“That he had always truly loved me—and that in a few month’s time, perhaps we could resume our affectionate relationship. He seems to think that I will be quite happy to be second best, that this is a perfectly good reason for breaking my heart!”
“You surely did not reply?”
Jane shook her head. “Of course not. I burnt the letter and decided to come down to Dorset to stay with dear Colonel Fitzwilliam. I cannot face Anne at the moment and I am scared that Digby will arrive at Pemberley again with more lies and apologies. Susannah, I fear I love him so much that I will weaken and give in! I have been so used to being second best to Anne all my life, it almost seems like the natural thing to do. I think that upsets me most of all.”
Susannah tried to inject some confidence into her voice.
“Well, I don’t think you would ever do that.
I am convinced that you have plenty of courage to stand up for what is right, even if you have never had to use it before now.
You know exactly what type of man Digby is and although you have been grievously hurt, it is over and done with.
“To be fair, we know that not everyone can marry for love. Gentlemen sometimes see a union as more of a business arrangement and as long as both parties are agreeable, such a marriage can work. But I can see that you do not think like that. Well, a holiday with Colonel Fitzwilliam will soon set you back on your feet. He is such a sensible man and I am sure that in his sympathetic company you will recover quickly. There are so many good men out there in the world. Certainly, if you are so inclined, you will find someone to love and admire very soon who will never see you as second best.”
To her surprise, Jane turned from the top step where she was climbing back into the carriage, her eyes flashing.
“That’s what Bennetta says. Lots more men to attract!
No! I shall never marry. How can I ever trust a man again?
How could I believe any words of love he spoke to me?
I would always remember Digby and doubts would rise up in my mind.
No, I am finished with men completely. Apart from those in my close family, I trust none of them! ”
And as Susannah gazed at the icy expression in her eyes, she realised that her friend had retreated behind a wall built of grief and despair and wondered if she would ever emerge from there again.