14
By the end of October, the excitement caused by the great fire had faded a little, although the vast ruins were still being inspected and removed.
Blame and recriminations were bandied about but nothing would bring back the wonderful old buildings.
Speculation was rife as to how the Houses of Parliament would be restored and it was rumoured that a competition was to be announced, so that architects could submit their plans.
In all the upheaval of that dreadful event, Jane’s arrival home that night, minus bonnet, her hair tangled, eyes reddened by tears that had mingled with the black streaks across her face, had gone almost unnoticed.
Yes, she had been missed, but when reports of the fire had reached Matlock House, all the servants who were not on duty had rushed out to head for the scene, gaze and exclaim and somehow it had been accepted that Jane had gone with them, unnoticed, to view the fire for a short while.
She was glad that she hadn’t had to give an explanation of her absence.
She had never been good at twisting the truth to her own advantage.
But luckily her parents had been engrossed by the tragedy.
Anne had not the slightest interest in what she was doing and only Bennetta looked puzzled when Jane said the following day that she was very tired and would keep to her room and have her meals sent up on trays.
“A nightmare evening!”
All Jane could hear ringing in her ears as she paced her room were those words that Archer had spoken.
All she could feel was the warmth and pressure of his lips on hers, and the look on his face as he had pushed her away.
Almost an expression of despair, which was ridiculous.
He had kissed her out of anger, out of the emotions the fire had raised in him.
She didn’t blame him for one second. Obviously he felt despair: as a gentleman who was apparently in a close relationship with a young lady, kissing her sister in such a fashion would be unthinkable to his sense of honour.
No, she did not blame him, she blamed herself for responding!
She burned with a shame, as hot as the flames she had witnessed, to remember the wanton way she had curled her fingers into his hair, pressing herself against him so tightly that she could feel his heart thundering through the silk of his shirt.
What must he think of her? The shame was great, but linked with the shame was the appalling realisation that if she had the chance, she would kiss him again! She loved him with every fibre of her being, she was burning up with the pain of a desire that she knew was a consuming love.
She buried her face in his cravat—she had clutched it in her hand all night long.
What would he say when next they met? Did he realise how much she cared for him?
Oh, she hoped not! To think of him as her brother-in-law, having to visit them in their home, sit with them at mealtimes, engage in all the little intimacies of family life—it would have been hard to do if he thought her indifferent to him, but knowing she loved him, it would be intolerable.
No, the first thing she had to do was make it quite clear to him that she had no feelings of great affection for him.
Once he was convinced of that, then her life would at least be a little easier, although the thought of having to stand for her sister at Anne’s wedding to Archer brought her to the point of despair.
It was one thing to make a decision as to her course of action but it was another to carry it through. Although Andrew often called at Matlock House in the last days of October, by early November there had been no sign of Archer.
Jane finally plucked up her courage and casually asked Anne why they had not had the pleasure of his company. Her sister had shrugged and said he was extremely busy with different cases going through the law courts and not a man of leisure such as Dr Moore seemed to be.
Andrew’s journey out to Greece had been delayed once again. An outbreak of cholera in Athens had stopped work on the ruins of the temple he was interested in exhuming and it had been decided he would not travel out there until the early Spring.
Celeste was delighted and made no effort to hide how she felt about the archaeologist, how delighted she was that they could spend more time in each other’s company.
Even amidst her unhappiness over Archer, Jane found time to worry about her poor godfather.
Colonel Fitzwilliam had written to say that he was now fully recovered and would be travelling up to London any day, before the bad winter weather set in.
He was pleased to say that Miss Courtney was also in extremely good health and would be accompanying him.
“Poor Susannah, she has been away from home for far longer than she imagined,” Elizabeth Darcy said as she read the Colonel’s letter at the breakfast table.
“So have we, my dear.” Mr Darcy folded The Times, laid it next to his plate and began examining the pile of letters that had just been brought in by a footman. “But I suppose we cannot go home until the girls have given this dance they are so excited about. Would cancelling it be an option?”
“Papa! I know you are joking, but please do not even say such a thing.” Bennetta waved her knife in her father’s direction, oblivious to the honey dripping onto the tablecloth.
“The invitations have all been sent and everything is arranged. It will be my last excitement until you force me back to the quiet of Pemberley.”
“Really, Bennetta, you make it sound as if your home is some dark and dismal prison,” Elizabeth said crossly.
Celeste looked up from a letter she had received, smiling. “Oh, I am longing to see Pemberley, Cousin Elizabeth. I cannot wait until we go north—although I am looking forward to the ball as well, naturally.”
Jane couldn’t help but say, “But surely you are most anxious to see Colonel Fitzwilliam once more. Do you not long to be back at Deerwood Park?”
Celeste looked surprised. “But of course I wish to see the dear Colonel. He has been so good to me. No one could have been more welcoming when I arrived in England.”
Jane fell silent. She wished Celeste would not look at her with that innocent expression.
She must know that flirting with Andrew, giving him the impression that he meant a great deal to her, was wrong when she was still engaged to the Colonel?
Perhaps in Sicily they managed their relationships in a different fashion, but no matter why she acted as she did, the Colonel was still going to be hurt.
“Oh, this is a surprise indeed—an invitation from Lady Goddard!” Elizabeth had opened another envelope and smiled round at her daughters. “Well, Anne, I am sure we have you to thank for this. Lady Goddard asks us to take tea with her this afternoon, if we are not otherwise engaged.”
“Yes, Mama,” Anne said complacently. “I called there a day ago and found her everything kind and obliging. She was very sorry not to see me in Dorset when she met Jane. I don’t think you made a particularly good impression, Sister.
Lady Goddard had no compliments for you, although she did say she had had an interesting conversation with our Italian cousin. ”
“Then I shall be quite happy not to go to tea with her,” Jane replied with spirit.
Her mother glanced up at her tone. “The invitation is for all us ladies, and so yes, we will all go, you too Bennetta, so stop wrinkling your nose in that annoying fashion. Although I must admit I am very surprised to receive such a request. As far as I can recall, Lady Goddard was a great friend of your great-aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh and, as such, was heartily against my marriage to your papa! For over twenty years she has ignored the Darcys. Now we are invited to tea. It is all very mysterious but I imagine that a certain young lawyer is at the bottom of it all, although Anne keeps very silent on the matter.”
“Mama, I cannot speak of it just yet, but believe me I do not think I will be sitting at your breakfast table this time next year.”
“So has he asked for your hand or not?” Bennetta was getting tired of all the innuendo; she didn’t know why people couldn’t speak plainly about such matters.
“You are too young to understand,” Anne replied in her usual haughty style, glaring at her sister who kicked her under the table.
“I am surprised, Mama, that you wish to have any contact with someone who thought your marriage wrong.” Jane was trying desperately to think of something to take her mind off Anne and Archer becoming engaged.
Elizabeth smiled. “My dear Jane, your father and I had the few friends and acquaintance who wished us joy. The rest were of no consequence to us. Time passes and we must all forgive and forget. And, my dear,” she turned her brilliant smile on her husband, “the esteemed lady is well aware that gentlemen find taking tea rather a waste of their valuable time, so she does not include you on the invitation.”
Mr Darcy looked up from a letter he was reading.
“I cannot say I am sorry, her lack of respect towards you still rankles, even after all these years. Perhaps I do not have such a forgiving nature as you. More news, Lizzy. Henry will be coming home on leave whilst his ship undergoes work at the docks in Portsmouth. He should be with us for Christmas, although his handwriting is so bad that it could be Easter! I fear the money we spent on that boy’s education was completely wasted.
I only hope the Navy will have instilled some sense into him.
But it will be good to see him again. And Fitz will be home from college so all your chicks will be together in one roost for a few days. ”
“Really, Papa, I think comparing us to chickens is rude!” Bennetta said crossly. “But it will be good to see the boys again, especially Henry. He will have such a lot of news to tell us about life in the navy.”