Chapter 8 Cinnamon
CINNAMON
Lumi-
I wake up to the horrifying realization that something very large is pressed against me. No, not pressed, wrapped around me. There’s a solid, unmovable weight against my back, and something hard nudging the base of my spine.
The scent hits me next, cinnamon—like the man from my dream. Oh my god, the faceless figure from my dream. The grinding…
Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.
Behind me, his breath hitches, and his whole body tenses in response to mine.
Slowly—so slowly—I turn my head.
Holy shit.
There is a literal antlered, fur-trimmed, God lying behind me, and he’s staring at me like a deer in headlights (Is that insensitive? Because of the whole antler thing? Probably.)
“Uh, hi?” I manage.
His throat works like he’s swallowing a boulder.
“Hello,” he rasps. His voice is low enough to send a shiver through me.
Oh no… he’s hot.
Monster. He’s a monster, Lumi. Focus.
I attempt to move and instantly regret it. The movement drags me along his length more than anything else. He hisses through clenched teeth, or rather… clenched fangs? Something throbs against my lower back, and I nearly let out a scream.
“Sorry!” I squeak.
My gaze flicks to the massive antlers crowning his head. A long waterfall of luminous white hair pours down his back from underneath them. Something glints at the top when he tilts his head.
The humor of this situation fades as quickly as it came. I blink hard, eyes stinging with tears I’m desperately trying to hold back. That can’t be Anna’s locket hanging from the thing that saved me.
It’s not possible. But I’d know that locket anywhere.
Andrik
Her scent is all over me, making it nearly impossible to concentrate. I’m so hard I could split the ice outside. Every part of me is screaming to pull her back against my chest, where I know she's safe.
“You—” I start, then clear my throat. “You were dreaming.”
I keep my voice as careful as I can. The last thing I want is for her to be ashamed about the best moment of my life.
“Oh yeah. I was dreaming about calculus,” she mumbles.
I have to hide my smirk. She sure moves a lot for a mathematician.
She’s still lying beside me, glancing over her shoulder, but no longer at my face. She’s fixated on my antlers. I wonder if they scare her… I’d cut them off right now if it would make her look at me like she did a second ago.
The playfulness on her face is gone. That teasing glint in her eyes has been snuffed out.
Her breath falters. I feel it more than I hear it.
I let out the longest breath I’ve ever held. “You’re safe,” I say softly.
Her eyes flick to mine. “I didn’t mean to—”
“I know,” I cut her off gently. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
If anyone should apologize, it’s me—my claws are still dug deeply under the cushions, and I was growling almost the entire time. I reach for her, carefully easing my arm from under her head, just in case she’s repulsed now that she’s fully awake and has seen me for what I truly am.
My fingers brush her waist, and a shiver ripples through her. I nearly snarl just from the relief of touching her again. My body misses hers the second she’s gone. I should have more control over myself at this age, but I want her more than I want my next breath.
She glances back up at my antlers.
“How did you get my sister’s locket?” She blurts out.
My stomach drops. I knew this moment would come.
“I took it from the man in the woods,” I say quietly. “He was carrying it like a trophy.”
Her whole face drops, “Was it… were there—”
“He had other things too. Things that belonged to other women.” I keep my voice neutral. “The forest… brought him to me.”
She doesn’t utter a single word.
I don’t tell her the rest—that I knew the moment I caught her scent clinging to the metal that I had found the other half of my soul.
“I didn’t know it was your sister’s,” I add. “I only knew it didn’t belong to him.”
But I realize now that’s why her scent was mixed with another. I thought it came from being stored with other stolen things. I was scenting Lumi, yes—but only because she was close enough to her sister that her scent lingered on the locket.
Suddenly, her grief from the forest makes so much more sense.
Her throat bobs. “And you just decided to take it? Why hers and not the others?”
How do I answer that without making her leave?
I stare at her, the words lodging in my throat—
I didn’t choose it. It chose me.
I don’t know,” I murmur—a half-lie that turns my gut. I hate deceiving her, but I can’t risk scaring her away. “It felt… important.”
She looks away long enough to wipe the tears she doesn't think I've seen.
“It is important,” she whispers.
I nod once, not trusting myself to speak.
“Can I please have it back?” She asks.
“Of course. It belongs to you.”
I reach up and slowly unlace the chain from my antler. Each loop I unwind makes my heart ache. Even if it wasn't hers, it was the only piece of my Sael?n I had ever found.
I hesitate. The chain dangles from my fingers, catching the firelight as it sways between us. I don't want to give it back.
“I’m sorry,” I say, barely above a whisper.
She doesn’t reach for it right away. Her eyes study mine. Does she think this is a trick?
Eventually, she cups her hand beneath mine, fingers barely closing around it like she’s afraid it might crumble.
“Thank you,” her voice shakes. I blink, and she’s already pulling away from me.
“I’ve gotta get going now. How do I get back to the part of the forest you found me in?”
My chest tightens, and panic spreads through my system.
She wants to leave after everything? After the bond pulled us together? After she said my name in her sleep—
She just wants to disappear back into the night like none of it ever happened?
Like we didn’t?
My throat tightens.
“I—” I try, but my voice comes out too rough. I swallow hard. “You shouldn’t be out there alone.”
She tilts her head, her eyes narrowing on me. That spark she had in the forest is back in full swing—such a reckless defiance for someone who's no bigger than a forest sprite.
“I’ll be fine,” she snaps. “You dragged me here. I didn’t ask for help. I can take care of myself.”
“I believe that,” I murmur. And I do.
“But you’re not healed yet. You were out in the cold for hours. You won't have enough energy stored to make it back. Plus, the storm isn’t over.” I explain instead of telling her what I really want to say.
If I can’t hear you breathe anymore, I won’t survive it.
“Where did you bring me, anyway?” she asks, glancing around the cabin.
“This is my home,” I rasp. “And it’s a long journey to take you back to where I caught you.”
“Caught me?” she repeats.
“Yes. Caught you.” I gaze at the floor. “You passed out. I caught you before you hit the ground.”
She lifts her brows. “And they say chivalry is dead.”
Lumi
I can see the panic in his eyes the second I mention leaving.
I try to soften the weight between us with a joke about chivalry, but he flinches.
I wince at the way it lands. The truth is, I haven’t needed anyone for a very long time, and after losing Anna, I stopped believing that I could.
Gratitude doesn’t come easily for me anymore, but he did save my life.
I probably would’ve frozen to death if he hadn’t found me.
“I’m sorry,” I mumble. “That came out wrong. Thank you… for helping me.”
My eyes fall to the necklace resting heavy in my palm.
I thought it would bring me comfort, but it feels like confusion passed back into my hands instead.
I don’t know what to do with the ache sitting in my chest, or the way his apology curled under my defenses.
I just know I need to get up. I swing my leg over the couch cushion and try to stand, but the second I put weight on my foot, my knees give out.
He’s there before I fall. One clawed hand catches my elbow, the other presses against my lower back.
His eyes flash brighter than before, and I swear I see his antlers twitch.
I’d think that was impossible if I hadn’t just woken up curled against a literal yeti in the middle of nowhere.
“We’re making a habit out of this,” I tease.
“Hm?” He murmurs, not taking his eyes off mine.
“You catching me?” I murmur. “In the forest, right now, in my—”
“Your dream about calculus?”
“Very cute,” I sneer, attempting to pull away.
“You’re not ready,” he says softly.
“I’m okay. I just need a minute.”
“Take as many as you need, Sael?n.” His voice lowers to something just above a whisper. “I’m not ready to let you go anyway.”
Sael?n.
That’s the word from my dream: Sael?n, I have waited so long for you.
He says that word like I’m something special—and I hate how much I long to believe it.
The world has proven many times that I’m not.
“Okay,” I exhale, “What should I call you?”
He dips his head slightly, leaning closer to my face. “My name is Andrik,” he breathes. “But you can call me anything you'd like.”
“Andrik.” I offer my hand like a fool. “Nice to officially meet you. I’m Lumi.”
He looks down at my hand, then back into my eyes.
“Right,” I laugh awkwardly. “A handshake feels a little too formal, considering I’ve already humped you.”
A strangled noise escapes him.
“No,” he says softly. “It’s not that.” He pauses. “I would love to shake your hand, Lumi—but I don't trust myself to stop there once I have my hands on you.”
My mouth falls open.
What do I even say back to that?
“You don't have to be afraid of me,” he says quietly.
“That’s good… because I'm not,” I whisper back.
My hand is still outstretched between us. When I start pulling back, he reaches for it. His claws don’t scratch me, and his palm is cool against my suddenly burning skin. He threads our fingers together instead of shaking my hand.
“I’ve never held something I didn’t want to break before,” he confesses.