Chapter 19
BAMBI
Lumi pov-
I burst through the last stairwell door and sprint down the hall. I don’t slow down until I’m back in my apartment. I slam the door shut and lock all nine locks behind me. It’s empty. Andrik’s still not back, but the scent of cloves lingers, and it hurts more than I want to admit.
I turn in a slow circle, checking the kitchen, the corners, my bedroom—nothing. Just cold air and the sharp echoes of my own heartbeat.
This is my fault. I did this. I pushed him—like I do with everyone. I groan into my hands as I sit down on the couch. I can’t stop myself from rocking slightly. My brain is teetering between guilt, humiliation, and fear.
The floral scent from the hallway hits me, and I spin around, expecting to see whatever I ran into in the hallway standing behind me. No one's there. Just below the coat-hook is a flower that wasn’t here before I went looking for Andrik.
A snowdrop—perfect, white, and delicate. I crouch down slowly, my fingers tremble as they brush over the petals.
My knife is suddenly in my hand as I push every door open. Checking underneath the beds and inside every closet.
Nothing.
I back into the center of my apartment, pulse pounding. My eyes sting, and my chest feels too tight.
“Andrik?” I whisper. No answer. “Andrik?!” I scream. A tear slips down my cheek, hot and furious. “You promised,” I whisper. “You said you wouldn’t let him near me.”
A gust of wind tears through the living room. There’s a huge shape, but it blurs. There’s a flash of pale hair and storm-lit eyes bursting in from the balcony door.
Andrik.
He sees me, knife in hand, tear-streaked, shaking, and goes still.
His whole frame tenses. “Lumi—”
“He was here,” I choke out.
Andrik’s face shifts partially, before morphing back into the one I’m used to.
He has me wrapped in his arms before I’ve even registered he’s taken a single step.
“He followed me in the hallway after I went looking for you,” I tell him. “I ran into him, and it sent my contacts flying. I couldn’t even make out his face. When I got back here, there was a snowdrop hanging from the coat rack.”
His hand wraps around mine—and slowly guides it down until the knife clatters to the floor. He pulls me into his chest, arms banding tight, one hand cradling the back of my head.
His whole body is vibrating in anger.
“I wasn’t far,” he whispers into my hair. “I shifted. I lost control, so I stepped out onto the balcony, and then I saw a hooded figure, and I followed him. I rushed back as soon as I heard your scream.”
I sob into his shoulder.
“I didn’t know,” he whispers. “I didn’t know. I didn’t know.” Each repetition cracks a little more. “Gods, Lumi. I should’ve known.”
We stand there for a long time.
He pulls me tighter. “You can’t leave my sight, even for a minute. They won’t touch you again. I swear it.”
If only I hadn’t pushed him so far, he would have never needed to step out onto the balcony in the first place. None of this would have ever happened.
“He spoke to me... before I ran away.”
“Spoke to you? About what?”
“Just a cryptic message about bleeding when I’m not wounded.”
Andrik pov:
I wasn’t here. Some mate I am.
I squeeze her tighter, pressing my nose to her hair and inhaling her scent as deep as my lungs will allow.
I left her. Even if only for a few minutes, even if I was tracking him, even if I came back the second I heard her scream—I left her.
And now she’s drenched in terror.
I inhale, and it’s all wrong; it’s not sugar and heat anymore. It’s sharp and laced with panic—because of me.
I lean down and whisper into her hair, “I should’ve stayed. I should’ve known.”
She doesn’t say anything. I can’t stop disgust from culling its claws in my gut.
I felt him after I shifted. That shadow-slickness, gliding like oil across the edges of my senses. He was close. I thought I finally had him.
He watched her while I wasn’t looking. How is he doing this?
Her back trembles in my arms as she attempts to hold back sobs. My arms tighten around her. I won't let go. Not until she feels safe again—not until I do.
The guilt inside me rises until I feel like I’m choking. It gnaws at my ribs, echoing with every heartbeat— too late, too late, too late—
More than twenty minutes have gone by, and neither of us has moved a muscle.
I press a kiss to her temple, then her cheek. She blinks up at me as I take a step backward, and I feel like something’s been ripped from my chest the second she leaves my arms.
The moment she’s steady on her feet, I shift just enough for my snout to flatten before going back to normal.
It's time for me to leave a message of my own.
“I need to go out to the balcony for a little while. Do you want to come with me?’ I pause. “There will be blood, Lumi.”
She scans my face for a moment.
“I don’t think I can deal with blood right now.”
“That’s okay.” I brush a strand of hair from her face. “I’ll leave the balcony door open so I can see you the whole time. Just sit right here on the couch and watch something.”
“I’ll read one of my monster books,” she waggles her eyebrows at me, but her usual humour is missing from her eyes.
I press another kiss to her temple, pull a blanket over her lap, and head outside. My breath ghosts silver in front of me. I crouch low, claws to the concrete, and snarl into the wind. I was too busy trying not to thrahk up the bond to notice he was hunting her.
Never again.
I will break him open and claim Lumi while his blood’s still warm
This is the place I failed her. But this is also where I’ll declare war for her.
I reach up and grip my left antler. The bone groans under my fingers. It doesn’t break cleanly—I have to twist. Roots tear from my skull as I wrench it free—the wet snap of bone splitting from bone cracks across the rooftops like thunder.
Pain slices through my head. Blood pours down my face, pooling in my eyes and dripping in heavy plops onto the cement.
I open my mouth and roar—a war-cry so ancient it shakes the bones buried beneath this building.
Let him hear it.
Let him know what’s coming.
I drag my claw across my palm, slicing deep—blood wells up, black in the moonlight. I want to remember this pain when I'm pulling his spine through his throat.
I slam my hand against her balcony railing and hold it there until I feel the magic surging through my veins. Vraks?n sigils start swirling into the stone.
With my free hand, I dip two fingers in my own blood and use the jagged shard of antler to carve a symbol beside the mark—a curved circle pierced by thorns with a snowdrop at its center.
A Rhavari bond-claim. A warning that this soul is guarded by something older than the gods.
“Vel’morath kai’ Sael?n.” (Death comes for those who touch my soulmate.)
And no god is merciful when a bond is defied.
I press a second sigil into the wood of her front door, then break the antler into three jagged fragments.
One, I wedge into the window frame—
One, I leave beneath the balcony sigil—
And one, I keep in my palm until my blood coats it completely. Then I press it into the lock like a blade.
I hope he returns and sees the blood I've already spilled for her. I hope his mind runs wild with ideas of what I’ll flay from his body once I find him.
When I walk back inside, blood is still heavily dripping from my antlers. My claws refuse to retract, and I can feel the rage burning in my throat. But the moment I see her, I force myself to soften.
She’s sitting in the same spot she was when I left to complete the ritual.
“Come here,” I rasp.
She doesn't hesitate. She crosses the space between us, barefoot, bruised, and too thrahking brave for her own good. I catch her before she can sway again. Her arms wrap around my neck.
“You’re taking me back now,” she whispers.
“Yes,” I breathe.
She doesn't say another word, just drops her head against my chest and curls into me.
I wait as she slips her boots on and grabs her bag. Once we're on the balcony, I tip her head back so she can look at my face.
Her eyes go wide at the way my body is already starting to ripple.
“I need to get you there. Now.” My voice is deeper, rougher than usual. The shift is seconds away. “But I can‘t do it like this.”
She stares at me suspiciously. “What do you mean?”
I’m going to shift, Lumi—my other form. You’ve seen pieces of it. But not... all of it.”
She hiccups. “The snout. When your face...”
“Yes,” I swallow. “I’ll be bigger, and I won’t be able to speak, but I’ll still be me. Do you understand? I would never hurt you. Not in any form.”
“Will it hurt?” she asks. “The shift?”
I almost laugh. I just ripped an antler from my skull for her without hesitation. “Nothing hurts when it’s for you.”
“Go ahead, I want to see you... all of you.”
That’s all my beast needs to hear. The shift rips through me like lightning.
My senses explode—every smell, every sound, every heartbeat within a mile floods into me.
I can hear her pulse racing. Can smell the adrenaline on her skin, the fear and wonder mixing together.
I lower myself to the ground and wait. I wish I could reassure her, but all I can do is watch her through sharper eyes and hope she sees what I need her to see.
That I would never hurt her. That this body—all of it—is hers.
My tail flicks against the ground nervously.
“Are you... waiting for me to get on?” She whispers.
I huff and tilt my head toward my back.
Yes, Sael?n. Get on.
She climbs onto my back, fingers digging into my fur.
Her grip is tight, but not tight enough.
I huff a warning, shifting beneath her, but she doesn’t understand.
I swing my tail up and wrap it around her waist—once, twice—pulling her flush against my back.
She gasps, her thighs squeezing my flanks as much as her little human legs allow.
“Andrik—what are you about—”
I turn my head toward the balcony ledge. Then back at her.
Her eyes go wide.
“No. No, no, no. We are not-”
I crouch low.
“Andrik, don’t you dare—”
I launch us off the balcony.
Her scream exhales through the snow as we drop six floors. My paws hit the ground, and I’m off.
Her fingers twist in my fur so tight I’d wince if it were anyone else, but all I care about is the way her body presses against mine. Her heartbeat thunders against my spine, her thighs locking around me like she was made to ride me.
My tail tightens around her waist.
Hold on, my love. We’ve got a long way to go.