Chapter 41
Andrik cont pov
She hasn’t called for me, but I can feel her. The forest doesn’t whisper her name like it usually does. It just aches—a low, rhythmic pulse beneath my ribs that tightens every time she moves in the water.
She’s trying so hard to stay in control, but I can smell her heat from across the cabin.
I press my palm to the banister. Threk’mai kel. Nakshi’vren. Vresh’kal. (Just bring her the food. Stay controlled. Be steady.)
By the time I breathe again, I’m at the top of the stairs. The door creaks open as I step through. She’s curled low in the tub, cold water gushing over her body. Her eyes are squeezed shut, arms locked around her middle as if she can hold the ache in place.
“Oh, Lumi...”
I rush to her side, and the plate crashes to the floor. I lift her from the water in a single panicked motion.
She’s on fire—it's not just a fever, the bond is trying to forge a bridge between us out of raw, molten energy—the air around her ripples with bond magic.
Where my fingers meet her skin, the heat no longer warms me—it sears through my palms in a frantic, pulsating demand that my own blood screams to answer.
“We have to try and bring this fever down, Sael?n.”
Guilt slams into me. I’m doing this to her. My denial is making her body turn against itself.
“I’m going to help you,” I promise, though the words taste bitter as they come out.
“Please,” she whispers, barely above a breath.
The sound tears me apart. I grab a towel and wrap her in it, swearing silently that if I can’t claim her, I’ll worship her in every other way the Gods allow.
I press a kiss to her forehead, her cheek, her temple. Each one feels like trying to put out a forest fire with a single drop of rain. “I'm going to cool you down,” I whisper. “I'm going to be the ice to your fire, Sael?n. I'll give you everything I am, everything I have, until the ache recedes.”
She lies still in my arms—doesn’t grip my shoulders or try to hold herself upright. She just... gives up. All that fierce energy finally drained away until there's nothing left but exhausted surrender.
I may be the ruler of this forest, but I am a tyrant to her. I’m ruling with a silence that’s killing her, withholding the one thing—the only thing—that can stabilize the magic currently tearing through her cells.
But what happens when I finally give in? What if next time he uses more than a tranquilizer?
Her head lolls against my chest, umber hair draped over my arm like fresh ink spilled over snow.
Every step toward the bed feels like moving through quicksand.
Nak’mai. Mai’kael?n. Nakshi’mai. (My fault. My bond. My denial.)
The Gods wove our souls together and told me to protect her—to cherish her, to claim her when the time was right.
I knew her heat would come, but I had no idea it would be like this—watching her burn alive while I stand by helplessly, because the one thing that could save her from suffering is the one thing that would destroy us both.
I tear everything off the bed and lay her gently onto the mattress. She whimpers from the contact.
“I know, Sael?n,” I whisper, voice breaking. “I know it hurts. I’m so sorry.”
Thr?’kai nai ves’kresh—naka heal sha, naka coll mai’kael?n burn. (My words are useless—they cannot heal her, cannot cool my bond’s fire.)
My hands shake as I cover her with a thin silk sheet.
She trembles from the effort it takes just to breathe through the waves of heat crashing over her.
“Andrik...” Her voice is barely a rasp. I’m on my knees beside the bed before the word fully leaves her lips. “I’m here. I’m right here.”
Her eyes flutter open, unfocused and cloudy with delirium.
She reaches for me weakly. “Please... don't leave.”
The plea shatters something primal in me. As if I could. As if there’s anywhere in this world, or the next, that I’d rather be than at her side.
“Never,” I breathe, catching her hand, pressing my lips to her knuckles, then to the ring Toffee gave her.
“Never, Lumi. I swear it.”
She tries to nod, but another tremor wracks through her. Her back arches off the bed, and a soft cry spills from her lips before she can bite it back.
If I claim her now, while he’s still out there, still circling my domain like rot, I risk losing her forever. What kind of gods would do this?
“I’m going to take care of you, lumina’ka,” I say again.
“You always do, Andrik,” she sniffles.
“I can’t claim you yet,” I say, my voice breaking, “but I'll make it bearable. I'll ease this... even if I can’t end it yet.”
She nods, barely, but it’s enough.
“At this point... I’ll try anything. It hurts,” she cries.
I summon a slow curl of frost from my marrow—the ancient, biting cold of the thr?n’vael.
(The frozen heart.) I let it flow into my fingertips until they are as pale as moonlight and cold as death.
When I finally touch the scalding skin of her inner wrist, steam rises where we join.
She lets out a broken sob at the relief, her hips shift instinctively, searching for me.
“I have you, soulbond. I will hold the fire until it burns us both to ash.” I rasp.
I slide my freezing hands over the curve of her ribs, down the hollow of her waist, before they settle at the pulse point at her throat. Her body arches, a breathless moan slips free.
I grit my teeth. Focus. Just get through tonight. You can find him tomorrow, and this will all be over.
Her scent is everywhere. She buries her head in the pillow and chants my name under her breath. “Andrik. Andrik. Andrik.”
I’m on the verge of ripping off her towel and letting Rh?ven rut into her until she‘s marked inside and out—Gods be damned.
No.
No.
I tear myself away from her before I do something that can’t be undone. My hands shake as I press them flat to my thighs, claws digging into my skin to keep from touching her.
“Andrik?” Her voice is full of confusion. “Why did you—”
“Rh?ven is getting tougher to control. I’m trying so hard, Lumi.”
She blinks up at me, searching my eyes.
“Then let him out.”
“Lumi, I can’t. Not like this—”
“I need you—”
“And I need you to trust me!” I snarl.
She flinches, and guilt chokes the air from my lungs.
I sink back to my knees beside the bed and force myself to breathe—to think of any way I can give her what she needs.
Forcing my voice to soften, I murmur, “Come with me.”
Before she can answer, I scoop her into my arms. She’s hotter than any human ever should be.
The bond is devouring her. I carry her back to the bathroom, kicking the door open. The tub still has water in it from earlier. I set her on the edge and pull the plug, watching as the old water swirls down the drain. I turn on the tap, and fresh water floods the basin.
“What are you doing? We were just in here,” she whispers.
“This is the only thing I can think of.”
I let a spiral of magic curl into the water until ice crystals form and the surface turns into slush.
“Get in,” I say softly.
She hesitates.
“Trust me, Lumi.”
She lets the towel fall and steps into the water with a sharp gasp. Her whole body shudders as the cold hits her.
I step in after her—still wearing my loose pants, because if I’m naked in this tub with her, I will give in.
The water rises as I lower myself in, spilling over the sides.
“Come here.” I rasp as I reach for her.
She doesn't resist as I pull her against my chest. My skin is freezing, hers is flaming, and the collision of the two creates a thick, white mist that swallows us both.
In the fog, the rest of the world—the cabin, the forest, the threat—all falls away. There is only her heart hammering against my ribs and the water churning between us.
Minutes of silence pass before her breathing gradually slows.
“Better?” I rumble against her hair.
She nods.
I let my hands drift to her shoulders, kneading gently. She’s so tense—every muscle locked tight from fighting the heat, from holding herself together.
“I’m going to fix this. I promise,” I whisper.
My hands slide lower, down her arms, across her back in slow, relaxing circles. Her head falls back to rest on my shoulder, and a soft sound escapes her lips.
I should stop, but her body is finally responding, melting into my touch.
Her hips shift slightly under the water.
My hands drift from her waist, palms molding to the curve of her hips. My fingers curl around that soft crease where her thigh meets her hip, and something in my blood snaps into place. It isn’t just desire. It’s a blueprint.
Rh?ven is no longer snarling for her; he’s focused on the exact points where my claws lightly press into her skin—four marks on each side. Crushing pressure spreads from my jaw down my spine, demanding I stop being a savior and start being a mate.
My claws extend slightly, scraping against her skin. This spot. Mark her here. Now. The thought is so loud it’s the only thing I can hear over the running water. Every inch of me is rigid, straining from the effort it takes not to let him force the shift.
“Andrik...” her voice breaks on my name.
It’s not a question. It’s complete and utter surrender, and that’s the most dangerous thing she could give me right now. My grip on her hips tightens while my thumbs trace the dip of her waist. I can feel the exact moment the ice water stops being enough to keep the fire at bay.
“Lumi,” I rasp, my forehead dropping to the crook of her neck. “If you don’t tell me to stop... if you stay exactly where you are... I’m going to lose this fight.”
“Don’t stop,” she whispers. Her head slides down my shoulder until it’s resting against the hard curve of my bicep. The movement exposes the long, elegant line of her throat, and my vision swims.
How could I stop?
My hands slide from her hips, moving under the water to the tops of her thighs. I feel the hitch in her breath more than I hear it. Delicate fingers dig into my forearms as I pull her closer, until there isn’t a single millimeter of space between us.
“Andrik... more.”