32. Jordan #2
He laughs when he says it, cheeks pinkening and making him look so goddamn gorgeous the last few nuggets of sense are knocked out of my head. Suddenly, I can’t think of a single reason that asking to give him road head isn’t a fantastic idea.
“It’s”—he glances over, making eye contact for a beat and then fixes his eyes on the road again—“one of the reasons I wanted to come up here this weekend. I was thinking about Tyler…”
Tyler. Tyler? Oh Jesus. Please no. My heart squeezes so hard I can’t breathe.
My ribcage contracts and several organs go into a jealous spasm.
I take a careful breath when I can, doing my best not to show how I’m feeling, but I can’t help noticing my fists are clenched so tightly that my knuckles have turned white.
“Andy mentioned to me a while back that he came out to Tyler first. He said Ty was really good about it, and that it was great because he didn’t have to tell anyone else.
Tyler made sure everyone who needed to know knew, and Andy only had to come out that one time, and that’s…
Well, it sounds kind of nice, only having to tell him, and knowing that he’ll tell everyone else for me, you know? ”
“What are you talking about, O? If you need help coming out, I’ll do it for you! I’ll message every goddamn group chat I’m on right now and tell them, if you want me to. Just say the word.”
Orion presses his lips together, forcing the chuckle he’s trying to suppress to come out of his nose. “Really? And how would you go about sensitively conveying the message?”
“It’s very fucking simple, Orion.” Frankly, I’m outraged that he doesn’t think I’m the man for the job.
I’m clearly a much better candidate than Tyler.
Tyler has quite a lot of social sway, but nowhere near as much as I have—and his way of swaying things is a lot more indirect than mine is.
“I’d say, ‘FYI, Orion’s gay, and we support the heck out of him.
We are all very proud of him.’ And to be sure the message lands like I want it to—not saying it won’t, but just to be sure—I’d follow that up with another message saying, ‘If anyone has a problem with it, let me know privately, and I’ll kick your ass.
’ See? No big deal, I can easily handle this for you. ”
“Yeah,” he says, dragging the word out for so long it starts sounding a little uncertain, “I think I might run it by Tyler first and see how that goes, but I’ll definitely let you take over if his way doesn’t work out.”
The vibe at the cabin is very, very chill.
Andy, West, Tyler, and Sarah are all there by the time we arrive, lounging around, reading, playing cards, and talking shit.
It’s one of those cabins that seems more like a luxury house than a cabin, but it’s set in a picturesque rural landscape with a lot of trees around it and a lake stretching out in front of it.
I guess that’s why Tyler calls it a cabin.
It’s one of those perfect late summer days, where it’s warm but not too hot. It isn’t long before the lake calls to us. We spend hours lazing on the dock soaking up rays and bobbing around in the water, laughing together and feeling generally excellent about our decision to get out of the city.
It’s a great day, except for the fact that my thing for Orion has gotten to the point where I’m turned on by his hair.
That’s all his hair, by the way. The hair under his pits, the stubble on his jaw, and the hair on his head.
I can’t see his leg hair right now because he’s standing waist-deep in the water, but I’m pretty sure if I could, it would probably turn me on too.
The hair on his head is wet from when he dove in a few minutes ago.
He’s pushed it back off his face, and there are little rivulets of water running down his temples and dripping off his jaw.
He’s wearing board shorts and nothing else, the same as all the other guys, but on him, all that wet hair and glistening skin is so sexy I honestly can’t string a sentence together.
Every time he talks, I feel like I’ve been hit by a stun gun.
I’m mesmerized by the way his lips move.
Carefully, like he thinks more than other people do before talking.
They look so goddamn good when he speaks, and even better when he smiles.
I’m confused, and a little mad at myself too. How is it possible that I’ve been inside him, in both of his holes, yet I haven’t kissed either of them? How did that happen? How did I get myself into a situation where I’ve put my dick in him, but not my tongue?
It doesn’t make sense.
It’s a fucking travesty, that’s what it is.
Orion leaps out of the water, abs clenching in a way that takes my brain offline, as he plucks the Frisbee he and West are throwing to each other out of the air. As he lands, his lips quirk up. Not enough to show teeth, but enough to cause a tiny shadow to form between soft dusty-pink flesh.
Just enough to make me wonder what it would feel like to grab hold of him and put my tongue in his mouth.
The mere thought of kissing him gets me so hard it’s absurd.
Don’t even get me started on what the thought of rimming him does to me.
When everyone else gets out and heads back to the cabin, I’m forced to hang back. There’s no explaining the state of my dick without dropping a bunch of major truth bombs, and I’m not sure now is the right time to do it.
I pass the time by treading water and watching the light change around me. Powder-blue gradually morphs into soft citrusy purples and pinks. The entire time, I think the same thing:
How long until I get into bed with Orion?
How many hours?
Minutes?
Seconds?