Chapter 10
Jersey
I consider the fact that I might be just as bad as one of the sick fucks I've spent a lifetime putting in the path of justice, but even feeling that way didn't stop me from slinking around in the fucking shadows and waiting for her to leave the damn sex club.
I ache .
I swear, hearing her whisper those words nearly made me blow my fucking load in my jeans like a goddamned teen boy.
I had to walk away.
I had to put a little distance between the two of us.
I'm playing with fire, messing with something that involves more than just me, although I can't seem to stop.
There's a selfish part deep down inside of me that wants to ignore the demand issued by Jericho. It's not as if I'm hounding her at the cabin or interrupting Eli's therapy sessions, but I fully understand where he's coming from .
My obsession with the good doctor will go nowhere.I may spend a few hours between her legs, but this isn't even close to a love match. It's hard to even think of it that way, considering love is only for foolish fucks.
It makes people ignore those whispers in your head that warn you to take caution. Love ruins lives. Love costs you everything you've ever had and leaves you an empty shell of yourself. I know all too well what love does to a man, and I have no desire for anything that even resembles it.
That's why staying away from her is pertinent.
At least, that's what I'm telling myself, despite being parked down the road from her house.
Like a fucking psycho, I followed the woman home. Something that sick fuck who circled her earlier also could've easily done.
Thankfully, I watched that piece of shit leave with someone else while I was lurking outside, waiting for her to leave the building.
My heart feels like it's going to pound right out of my chest as I stare at her house. She's aware enough to have all of her curtains fully closed. As proud as that makes me, I also wish there was one window with a crack of light that would give me a little insight into her world.
I grip the steering wheel of the SUV tighter, wondering just how many curse words Lark has muttered since I left him alone at the club with no way home. The man is resourceful. He'll figure it out.
I told him leaving was an emergency and took off before he could question me.
I can't recall a moment when I've fought something so hard in my life as I'm battling to not get out of this vehicle and climb the stairs to her little house.
I know if I don't get out of this vehicle and go to her that I'm going to itch all fucking night, but that's a me problem, not a her problem. The last thing that woman needs is me making her life more complicated .
Jericho demanded I stay away from her, but the discomfort inside me at just the idea of driving away feels stronger than whatever fallout could happen if I obey this urge.
Leaving doesn't feel like an option, and a devious part of me wants to sneak across the yard, walk around her entire house, and find a way just to watch her, but those thoughts are completely fucked. It's not who I am. I'm not some pervert, despite the raging fucking hard-on I have right now just sitting outside her house.
Jesus, I'm becoming one of the men I hate.
With that thought burning like acid in my brain, I flip the switch on the console, turning off the inside light so I'm not like a beacon in the dark when I open the driver's side door of the SUV.
With determination, I walk across the street, my boots soundless when I step into her yard.
My heart races as I climb the two steps to her porch, my body telling me to knock, and quickly while my head argues about the whole damn scenario, insisting that being here is a huge mistake.
I've never been a man who couldn't control his body. There were times in the past when I ignored my instincts, which ruined my life. I can't help but think this is another one of those moments.
Just knowing how similar I'm feeling right now should have me bolting for the SUV and hauling ass out of her neighborhood, but instead, I lift my arm to knock, pulling back when the bark of a dog comes from inside.
In the next breath, the front porch light comes on, casting a warm glow over my entire body. The curtain of the small window on the front door shifts, and I find myself staring at Caitlyn.
At first, she looks startled to see me here, but then I see the moment her demeanor shifts, and her pretty face seems relieved.
I don't know how to feel about any of it. She should be nothing but pissed that I had the audacity to follow her home.
"Kiva, hush," she snaps on the other side of the door before the sound of the deadbolt unlocking fills the air.
The second she steps onto the porch, I reach past her and run my hand along the inside of her door, killing the porch light.
Her little dog is sitting right by the door, glaring at me as if I've invaded its space, although it listened to Caitlyn and has stopped barking.
"Wh-what are you doing here?" she asks, grabbing the front of her silk robe and pulling it tighter.
Although I've seen the woman more than once completely bare, there's something incredibly sexy about the way her nipples furl, the peaked tips pressing against the delicate fabric. Just the sight of it makes me want to strip away the silky fabric and wrap my lips around each one. I know the exact shade of those delicate tips, and the fact that they're now hidden makes my cock throb in my jeans.
"Caitlyn," I whisper, unsure of what to do next now that she's standing in front of me.
I inch closer, but like a smart woman, she takes a step backward.
Her hand is warm as she presses it to my chest.
"You can't touch me," she says, her words breathless as they leave her lips, but it doesn't stop her hand from wandering down my torso.
When one hand meets my belt buckle, she pulls the other away from gripping her robe to slide it down. Her fingers work open my belt buckle as I lean further over her, cocooning her against her front door.
"Don't touch me," she warns again, and then I hear the fear in her voice.
The woman has to take what she needs, but she is the one who has to make that happen .
Who am I to argue with it?
"Fuck," I groan when she lowers my zipper and doesn't hesitate to slide her hand past the denim until her fingers are running down the length of my cock. "Take me out."
She may not want me to touch her, but I can sure as hell provide instructions so we both get what we need here tonight.
All thoughts of this being a bad idea float away, this moment with her worth any risk or trouble that may meet us later down the road.
I'm heavy in her hand when she obeys, and I know from the coolness on the tip of my cock that I'm already leaking for her. It's incredibly sexy but also makes me easy to read, something that also creates a certain level of vulnerability I'm not accustomed to.
I lean in closer as she strokes her hand down the length of me, and my balls tighten further against my body. The woman turns me on as if she has special insight into what arouses me.
The way her skin glistens under the moonlight, the way her breaths are short and choppy, although her touch along my length feels sure and resilient, all make me want to fucking come all over her delicate skin.
I swallow as my nose gently brushes her throat, my lips aching to press to her skin, but she told me not to touch her, and I have to obey her wishes.
"Condom in my wallet," I pant near her ear, not sure that's exactly where this event is heading but needing her to know it's a fucking option.
The sound of crickets mingles with her breaths as she leans in closer and reaches around for my wallet.
My cock presses against the silken fabric of her robe, and I groan with need when she pulls my wallet free and takes a step back .
My cock leaves a streak of precum on her robe, and the sight of it is enough to make my spine tingle.
"Caitlyn," I moan again when she pulls the condom from the wallet before letting the leather fall to our feet.
The bug noise surrounding us comes to a halt when she crinkles the wrapper of the condom as she tries to open the thing.
"Let me," I say, holding my hand out for her to place it there rather than pulling it from her fingers.
Her eyes meet mine as if she's fully aware of how cautious I am about obeying her rule.
I don't know how this is going to work without me touching her, but I can follow her rule as long as I can keep my wits about me right now.
I rip into the package, letting the torn corner fall to her porch along with the full wrapper once I have it free. I roll the thing down my cock, all the while watching her.
"Open your robe," I plead as I finish.
She tugs at the tie around her waist, letting the silky fabric fall open.
"Jesus, you're perfect," I whisper, trying to keep my feet locked in place. "What now?"
I watch her throat work on a swallow, wondering what that dip between her collarbone tastes like, but I don't have long to wonder before she turns around, bending in the middle.
I press my hands to her front door as she backs up, reaching between her legs until her hand is wrapped around my cock.
"Fuck," I grunt, doing my best not to press my lips to the milky skin of her back.
In the next breath, she lines me up at her entrance. I don't even have a second to wonder what happens next before she shifts and presses against me, taking my cock inside of her to the hilt .
I moan like a fucking whore as her pussy grips my cock.
I'm left with my mouth hanging open, fists clenched and resting against the door as she swivels her hips as if she's struggling with my size.
"You okay?" I ask, fighting the urge to grip her hips, pull back, and slam into her again and again.
"Give me a minute," she says, and it's then I can feel the tremble in her legs.
"If you don't want—"
"Shh," she snaps. "Give me a minute. You're too big."
"God, baby," I say with a hearty chuckle. "Want me to come already? Don't say shit like that. Just pull forward and slide back two inches. Oh God. Good girl. Again."
My chest heaves as I watch her inch forward before pushing back. Her skin practically glows under the moonlight, making this entire situation feel more and more ethereal as she works my cock.
Every muscle in my body aches with the resistance it's taking not to take control of this situation and use her exactly how I need to.
"Again," I grunt, my legs starting to feel like Jello.
She obeys, moving her body forward before pressing all the way back.
I pound my fist on her door, causing the dog inside to let out a quick bark.
I pull my hands back and lift my shirt so I can see our connection. Her wetness coats my cock, her arousal slipping lower and spreading so I can feel it on my thighs.
She speeds up, the slapping sound from our connection and her moans making animals in the distance howl.
I can't be bothered to worry about the wildlife surrounding us. I swear a bear could come up, and I'd growl at the motherfucker for interrupting this moment.
"Caitlyn," I warn. "I'm— "
"Me too," she pants, her core gripping me tighter.
I don't know what holds me up during my orgasm as it strikes just on the tail end of hers, but somehow I manage, my vision growing blurry for a moment with each pulse of my cock deep inside of her.
When she pulls away, I fight the urge to follow after her. Instead, I pull the full condom off my cock and get my pants up and zipped as she presses her face to the front door, her body heaving as she pants.
Unsure how to handle this situation, I open my mouth to speak, but no words form.
As the guilt of what we've done settles inside of me, I opt to take a step back, which leads to another and another until I'm off her porch and staring at her from her front yard.
Wordlessly, I turn around and leave, knowing I've made the biggest mistake of my life by feeding that addiction.