Anya
CHAPTER TWELVE
Ibreathed in deeply the moment I stepped outside, welcoming the silence after the suffocating tension inside the ballroom. Jetmir had clearly lost his mind talking to my papa with such disrespect, and my papa… God, he itched to pull that trigger and end my ex-husband.
My chest tightened at the thought of Jetmir dead, but I refused to dwell on it. It was pointless anyhow, because the damage done to our family was irrevocable.
Rain had started sometime during the past hour or so, softly at first, but now it poured relentlessly, drumming against the stone steps and black town cars lined along the curb.
This event seemed pointless to me, but nonetheless I went along with it in order to fix what I had broken. Nobody said I had to stay for the whole night though. Truthfully, I didn’t think I could remain strong now that I’d seen Jetmir.
God, how was it possible that my soul still shuddered whenever I saw him? I should have chalked up what had happened between us three years ago to my eagerness for a love I’d yearned for in my books. I should have moved on.
Instead, I still dreamed about him. I still… wanted him. But I knew those were silly dreams. Whatever we had was dead and behind us. After years of constant messages and demands to see me, the annulment had gone through.
I can’t go and ruin it, I thought to myself as I descended the steps from the hotel to make my way toward the car that would take me away from here.
“Miss Santos?” A bellboy hurried forward with an umbrella.
I shook my head.
“No need,” I said. “I’ll walk the rest in the rain.”
He looked like he wanted to argue, but thankfully he didn’t. I hurried through the parking lot, and within seconds, my dress was soaked, plastering the silk to my skin. Mascara probably streaked beneath my eyes and my hair was already ruined, but I couldn’t have cared less.
I kept walking.
One foot in front of the other. Away from my ex-husband. Away from the man who somehow still had the ability to turn my world upside down with one look.
You’ll always be mine, and I’ll always be yours. His words echoed on repeat until my ears rang.
Arrogant, infuriating, impossible man. Why did he have to say that? Why couldn’t he just pretend we were never anything to each other? Hadn’t we both caused enough damage already?
He blinded my brother, and I poisoned him in return.
It seemed the scales had been evened… maybe?
I recalled that fateful day I’d left my husband.
That day I baked him a peace offering. It was something I was deeply ashamed of—especially after I learned that he almost died—but it was also the day I realized I was just as ruthless as Gabriel and my papa. It had to be the Santos blood.
That was three years ago. Three years since I’d last seen him. Since I’d walked away. Since I broke his, and my own, heart.
And somehow one meeting, one conversation had cracked every wall I’d built.
I hated him for that.
“… Anya!”
My steps froze. No. I squeezed my eyes shut.
“Anya!”
The voice came again, but this time it was closer.
I slowly turned to see Jetmir running toward me, rain dripping from his hair and sluicing down his expensive suit. My hair was getting drenched and my dress clung to my body like a second skin. It was neither attractive nor comfortable.
Yet, I still stood there motionless.
People nearby threw glances at us, but he only looked at me. Just like before. He always only looked at me and reluctantly my mind flickered to the last time we were rained out.
It seemed like a different lifetime when I looked at him and the world with stars in my eyes
The last of our dinner disappeared just as the first drops of rain tapped against the white tablecloth.
I looked up at the sky, noting soft gray clouds had rolled over the old rooftops of Vlore’s historic quarter. The warm summer evening hadn’t lost its charm. It’d simply changed. The air smelled of the sea and wet stone, and a cool breeze brushed against my skin.
“It looks like we finished our dinner right on time,” I said with a laugh.
Thorne smiled as he reached for the bills. I watched him thank the waiter. He reached for me and my hand slipped into his effortlessly, loving the way his warm fingers curled around mine.
The raindrops came down faster the second we stepped off the restaurant terrace.
We laughed as we hurried through the narrow cobblestone streets, weaving between the old stone buildings while the summer shower soaked us within seconds.
My pink dress that reached down to my knees with thin straps that came off my shoulders was soon soaked, clinging to my legs while strands of hair stuck to my cheeks,
I stopped in the middle of the street, smiling with my face tilted up at the sky.
“What are you doing?” Thorne asked, laughing.
“I want to dance in the rain,” I exclaimed, grinning happily.
I slipped off my shoes. He took them from me, looping them over a finger without ever letting go of my hand.
Smiling, I spun beneath the rain, dancing as though the world had disappeared around us.
There was no music, only the song in my heart, accompanied by the steady rhythm of raindrops drumming against the ancient cobblestones.
I twirled and twirled, loving the feel of the cool drops dancing across my skin as I danced barefoot over the slick cobblestones, laughing carefree and happy. There was nothing except the rain, this man, and the feeling of being completely alive.
I looked at Thorne who stood there, watching me. His suit was soaked, dark hair plastered to his forehead, but the expression on his face made my heart stumble.
He was happy. The way he looked at me made the whole world disappear.
“What?” I asked, still grinning. “If we’re getting soaked anyway, we might as well dance.”
He shook his head slowly, his fingers tightening around mine.
“It makes me happy to see you happy,” he said quietly.
My cheeks warmed despite the rain.
“I’m happy to be with you,” I whispered, my voice barely above a breath. “If I could spend forever anywhere, I’d choose wherever you are. As long as I’m with you, I’m already home.”
He laughed as I tugged him closer, and a second later he was spinning me around and dancing with me in the rain while the old streets of Vlore shimmered beneath us.
Yanked back to the present as thunder cracked across the sky.
My heart betrayed me with one painful beat. Sometimes I wished I couldn’t remember.
He stopped a few feet away, chest rising violently as raindrops trickled down his face.
For a long moment neither of us spoke.
“What are you doing?” I whispered.
“I couldn’t let you leave,” he rasped. “Not without telling you that I miss you. I know I screwed up, but not a day has gone by where my heart hasn’t ached for yours. Not a minute passed without you on my mind.”
I shook my head.
“Thorne…” I winced. In my mind he was always Thorne, but the fact was he lied about that too. Or rather, he omitted. Still a clear deception in my opinion. “Jetmir, don’t. Please. I can’t do this. Not now. Not ever again.”
His jaw clenched.
“Why?”
“Because our families have finally found even ground after what happened.”
A bitter laugh escaped him.
“Our love is none of their business. Our lives belong to us and us alone.”
I swallowed. “It wasn’t love. It was lust. Nothing more.”
His eyes flashed angrily.
“You can lie to yourself, but you can’t lie to me.”
I stepped back, a bitter laugh bubbling in my chest. “Really? Maybe I learned from the best and got really good at it.”
His entire body stiffened.
“It’s been three years, angel. How can I prove to you that I’m sorry?”
“You can give Gabriel his vision back!” I snapped, my voice cracking on the last few words.
“You can take back all the lies you told me to get me into your bed. Or all the sneaky bullshit you did to get me to marry you.” I put my hand on my temple, suddenly feeling a headache come on.
“You don’t get to stand there after all this time and pretend everything is the same. ”
Raindrops continued to come down, soaking his dark strands. God, it reminded me of that last time we stood in the rain. Different, happier feeling. Different, happier me, although much more naive me.
I jerked away from my ex-husband and the memory as if burned.
“I never said it was, but what we had is too precious and too rare to throw it away.”
I used to think so too, but then the truth came crashing down.
“Fuck what we had. Fuck what we shared. Fuck your feelings and your lies. Fuck. You!”
The words exploded before I could stop them. My breathing shook and I desperately tried to get myself together. I didn’t like this side of myself. I missed the girl I was. The girl he’d killed with his actions.
He took a step forward, his head blocking raindrops from falling on my face. “You still don’t get it, Anya. I’d kill for you.” His forehead pressed against mine. “I’d die for you. But one thing I’ll never do is give you up.”
A shuddering breath left my lips while my ears rang with his words. My chest physically hurt so bad that I feared it would tear in half. I brought my hand to my chest and kept it there, hoping to ease the pain.
I took a step back, looked him straight in the eye while rain fell all around us. It was as if the sky itself was crying for our lost love.
“You’re my past, Jetmir,” I breathed.
His shoulders sagged.
“I deserve that.” I blinked because Jetmir Volkov never admitted fault. “I deserve every ounce of your anger.” His voice had become frighteningly cold and he took a step closer, his familiar cologne wrapping me in a cloud. “But I won’t give you up, my angel.”
“Yes, you will.” My voice was barely audible. “Because I’ve given you up.”
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t pretend like you don’t feel this between us. It’s been there all along and it’s not going anywhere.”
I scoffed, feigning indifference. “Whatever feelings I had for you are gone. Just like Gabriel’s vision.”
His eyes closed for one second, and when they opened again, there was resolution in them that was terrifying.
“You can start over. You can run. You can pretend to move on, but you’ll never be rid of me. You can’t stop thinking about me, just as I cannot stop loving you. You’re my past, present, and future.”
My lips trembled as I uttered, “You’re not my present. You’re not my future, Jetmir.” My voice trembled and my hands shook as I said the next words. “I’ve given you enough, but it clearly wasn't enough. Now, please… I’m begging you to have mercy and let me go.”
Because I wasn’t strong enough not to fall into his web again. I needed him to keep his distance. I wanted not to see him so I could maybe one day get over him.
The resentment flickered in his eyes. The yearning. The hurt. And fuck, I felt it all myself.
I remained strong, at least for now.
“Never,” Jetmir vowed. That single word held so much power and resentment, I found myself rearing back. “I've been patient. I’ve waited. I’ve tried to talk to you,” he continued in a hoarse voice. “Remember that when this all goes to hell.”
I frowned, watching the rain roll off his jaw while my throat tightened. His eyes were locked on me while they burned hotter than fires of hell before he turned around, leaving me standing on the wet concrete.
And somehow… I’d never been more terrified. Of him and my own self.