Chapter 12
12
After sorting out Doris’s mystery clue, Celeste headed straight to the kitchen to root around in the refrigerator. Lawrence had made a baked ziti perfect for nibbling on. Magnus’s footsteps thudded just above her on the second floor. She’d make certain to find a room on the third floor. The more space they had between them, the safer they’d be.
When he returned to the kitchen, he wore a black tank top and gray pajama pants. His hair was damp from a recent shower. “What’s for dinner?” he asked in a tired voice that sounded slightly slurred.
Celeste got up from the kitchen island and scraped the remainder of her plate into the garbage. “Leftover baked ziti. Want some?”
He leaned against the counter and stared at the casserole pan. “I better not. I just took my pill.”
“Lawrence got back to me,” she said. “Apparently, Doris has a safe house in Tallinn. Maybe we’ll post up there and see what other clues we can find.”
Magnus nodded absently as he leaned against the counter. He appeared intoxicated even though she knew he hadn’t had anything to drink. Not while they were working together. She peered at him as he stood there looking vacant as fuck.
“Mags? Are you okay?” she asked, running water over her dish.
His head swung around to face her; his eyes were flat and glassy. “I took an Ambien,” he slurred in a confused voice. “They don’t really work on a full stomach, I don’t think?”
Celeste quickly set aside her plate and she took him by the shoulders. “A sleeping pill?” she asked.
Magnus nodded, trying to keep his eyes open.
“How long have you had trouble falling asleep?” she asked, holding him by both arms. He looked like he was close to falling over.
“A couple years,” he said, weaving toward her open arms.
She frowned as she searched his eyes for some kind of awareness. “Stress?”
He nodded. “Did you know that I’m actually too rich to be teaching? Yet I’m still doing all this dumb shit for my department. I like teaching and my students are lovely... They’re good kids really. Some of them are annoying grade grubbers, but that’s just the name of the game these days, isn’t it? I just don’t remember being that ambitious when I was their age.”
She tried to nod along to what he was saying but he was confusingly incoherent.
“And then there’s the loneliness,” he said. “Michelle is nice, but I don’t think it’ll work. I don’t think I’ll ever be honest with her about what I do.” He chuckled to himself. “Honestly, there aren’t many people like us. People who understand what we do. I think I’m lonely because I liked having you in my bed, and you haven’t been there for years. What is it? Five years?”
Celeste’s heart almost ceased to function.
What was he rambling about? They hadn’t seen each other, much less shared a bed, in five years—like he said—why would he admit that to her? Because he wasn’t himself. Her straitlaced Magnus was just high. On what was essentially truth serum.
Celeste tried her best not to laugh at the whole situation.
“I’m going to get you to bed, then,” she said, pulling one of his muscular arms over her shoulder. “Watch your step.”
“You watch yourself , CeCe,” he muttered.
She raised a brow as she led him to the stairway. He’d murmured it as he nuzzled her neck, kissing the space behind her ear. “Why would I need to watch myself, Mags?” she asked, grinning.
“Because I have you in my arms again,” he said. With most of his weight leaning on her, she tried to steer him up the stairs as fast as humanly possible. “Your hair smells like fruit,” he breathed. She could feel his face pressed against the top of her head. “I like your hair like this. It’s short and cool...like a cool assassin or something.”
“You’re going to have to help me out here, Mags. You’re kind of heavy,” she said through gritted teeth. They were halfway up to the first landing, not too far from the bedroom she’d heard him walking around in.
“You’re strong,” he said simply. “You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever met. Not many people have had to overcome what you’ve lived. Have I told you how proud we are of you? CeCe gets a gold star. High marks.”
“Thank you,” she said, laughing. He was much nicer under the influence. She had to pause when they reached the top and took a short breather.
“Sleep with me tonight,” he said. It certainly wasn’t a question.
Celeste looked up at him; his hooded eyes stared back, as he gave her a lopsided grin. “Why?”
“Because I want you.”
Oh, boy... He didn’t know what he was saying. After he tried to bait her with the ballerina earlier in the day, Celeste figured he was full of shit. But now it sounded like he was full of something else. Eww, not unrequited feelings...
“I think you want sleep,” she said, pushing him toward his bedroom.
“I want you,” he repeated.
When she sat him on his bed, she pulled away to look him over. He sat up on his own but was a little wobbly as he shot her the same sleepy grin. “I want to snuggle with you. You smell nice,” he said with a yawn.
Should I stay to snuggle? She could slip out of the room before he woke up the next morning. Celeste shook her head. No, it wasn’t a good idea to indulge him in this state. She didn’t want their relationship to get muddled any more than it needed to be. On the other hand, she didn’t know when she’d get another opportunity to know exactly what was on Magnus Larsson’s mind.
“Go to bed, Mags,” she said, pushing his shoulders to the mattress.
He went down easily but patted the space beside him. “Stay for a little while, CeCe. I don’t bite.”
“I was never worried about your bite.”
“Ugh...you still like a good fight, don’t you?” he groaned, putting an arm over his eyes.
“It’s hard to let shit go,” she admitted with a sigh.
“You hold grudges.”
She rolled her eyes up to the ceiling. “Oh, shut up.”
“Come over here and make me,” he said with another yawn. Part of him must not have cared that she was still there, because he absently stuck his hand down the front of his pants and adjusted himself. The reminder of his dick made her stomach dip and her heart skip a beat.
She needed to get the hell out of there.
Celeste jerked the blankets from beneath his heavy body and attempted to cover him.
“Where are you going?” Magnus mumbled.
She turned out the light and hurried to the door. “I’m going to clean the kitchen and go to bed,” she said in a quiet voice. “Get some sleep, Mags.”
Celeste didn’t wait on his reply as she quickly put herself on the other side of his door. She leaned against the hardwood and let out a sigh of relief. She didn’t need to see him like this tonight. A vulnerable Magnus wasn’t useful to her while they worked. She only needed him to get back to prime stealing condition.
The world moved around them like a long, shuddering breath, building slowly and releasing in a staggering pleasure that made his toes curl and back arch from the bed. Magnus looked into Celeste’s dark eyes while he grabbed a generous handful of ass and pulled her onto his dick. Her intense gaze pinned him straight to the mattress as she circled her hips above him.
“Come back to me,” he heard himself say.
A smile grew on her lips as she shook her head. “I don’t think you can catch me,” she whispered.
Her teasing words made his breath catch in his throat. They felt like a bucket of ice water thrown in his face. Magnus’s hands fell away from her body as she continued to rock against him.
“Sink, Magnus...” she said. “Stay in the deep.”
Black waves lapped over his body. Cold rain tickled his skin. Darkness closed in on the outer edges of his sight and soon he could no longer feel the plush pressure of Celeste’s curves wrapped around him. She, and light, disappeared until he sank into the bottom of some nameless space.
He was willing to hit the bottom, but a nagging thought kept him buoyed.
I can’t let go.
In the next instant, he found himself under bright flickering lights. A new sterile environment where the floors squeaked under white sneakers. Nurses and doctors scurried about in confusion while he sat in a hard-shelled chair staring at his hands. The hands of a fourteen-year-old.
Swedish speakers were nearby, their voices hushed and somber.
“Does he have anywhere to go tonight?”
“He has an uncle living in ?rebro.”
“We cannot let him go.”
Magnus couldn’t open his mouth to tell the speakers that he could indeed hear them. He wanted them to know that he was in the hallway. He was there, but loneliness hung on his young body like an itchy woolen blanket, forcing him deeper into his chair.
Darkness was swiftly returning but this time, Magnus couldn’t bear to be enveloped by its coldness. He fought, thrashing against the tide, desperate to push the scratchy blanket aside. He’d reach the surface if he tried. If his tired arms were strong enough, he’d see the light.
The muffled shouts pulled Celeste from her online reading about Tallinn, Estonia. The loud thump against the floor got her out of bed and running downstairs to Magnus’s second-floor bedroom.
She didn’t know much about Ambien’s side effects, but she could assume that was what ailed him. Celeste didn’t even bother knocking; instead, she entered his room and turned on a lamp beside his bed.
She found a bleary-eyed Magnus climbing from the floor. “Hey,” he murmured.
“Are you okay?” she asked, scrambling across the bed to help him up. “Did you have a bad dream?”
Magnus frowned while squinting at the light on the nightstand. “I don’t know...”
If he couldn’t remember crying out and flailing in his bed, he could still be high, Celeste reasoned. She suddenly felt unsure about leaving him for a second time. “Let’s get back in bed, Magnus.”
He complied quietly and she settled beside him. “Are you staying?” he asked in a soft voice.
Celeste turned the light off and climbed under the covers. “I might as well,” she grumbled. “You can’t be trusted to sleep by yourself. Hey—” she protested as he dragged her into his embrace. “No one said anything about spooning.”
“I’m cuddling you.”
She’d forgotten what cuddling with Magnus felt like and was quickly reminded of how much she had enjoyed his strength. His long legs wrapped around hers as the heat from his body pulsed against her back. His arm snaked around her belly and held her in a loose, but secure, grasp that made her feel surprisingly safe.
“Are you comfortable?” he asked.
Celeste laughed at the ridiculous question.
“I miss that sound.”
His words, however fleeting they were, made her heart stumble over itself. A lump formed in her throat as she attempted to engage him. “You miss my laugh?”
“Sounds like rain smells. Fresh and full of life,” he murmured into her hair. “Completely guileless.”
Celeste tested him for the sake of her vanity. “Magnus, do you think I’m—Am I still attractive to you?” It had been five years after all. She was now in her early forties and hadn’t had a proper boyfriend in years.
He groaned and pulled her closer. His hips rocked forward, grinding against her butt in response. “Beautiful. Most beautiful woman at the party,” Magnus said, nuzzling her neck. His evening whiskers scratched against her skin, sending a fresh wave of heat down her back.
She continued testing... “Do you still think I’m annoying?” she asked, grinning in the dark.
“Oh, God, yes. So fucking annoying,” he said, running his palm down her bare arm. She felt his hand stop on her waist, his fingers rubbing against the bottom of her tummy. She wasn’t sure if it was voluntary or not, but his hips rocked forward again, lightly nudging her backside. “You’re a hardheaded woman who never stops.”
She nodded because it was true. “And it bothers you?”
His lips pressed against the dip along her neck. “Mmm. Not all the time,” he said. “Sometimes it’s sexy.”
Celeste shifted in his arms to face him. She pressed both hands against his cheeks and searched for his eyes in the dark. “Are we really going to work together again? For Doris?”
His hands were still busy beneath the covers, pulling her hips closer to his. “I didn’t want to,” he whispered. “But yeah, I will.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want you to get hurt,” he murmured. “I have to go with you to keep you safe. From yourself mostly. Jesus, you take some careless risks sometimes. I used to wonder why, but the more I got to know Doris, I guess I could see it.”
How long would he be like this before clamming right up and shielding her from his genuine feelings? “You don’t have to do this.”
“You’re a liar,” he said as his hand traveled down her ass and gripped her thigh. He hitched her leg over his waist, connecting them at the hips. Something hard and hot pressed against the apex of her thighs. She knew she should pull away from him, but it had been a while . “You want me to stay with you. Just say it,” he breathed.
As truthful as he was being, Celeste couldn’t bring herself to return the favor. She was slightly distracted by his hard dick throbbing between her thighs. “I don’t want you to do something that will make you feel uncomfortable.”
Magnus chuckled sleepily. “Kiss me.”
“What?” They were already quietly grinding privates beneath a blanket, but kissing seemed like a bridge too far.
“Kiss me for real,” he said. “Like we did in Victor’s party.”
“Are you sure?” Celeste asked, trying to peer at him in the dark.
“Mmm-hmm.”
She stroked his cheek and waited a second before moving closer to his face. Finally, she found the courage to lean forward to give him a quick brush on the lips.
Magnus caught her mouth and pushed with insistence. Celeste melted against his lips. He let out a low moan against her open mouth and teased her with his tongue. A shiver of pleasure ran down her spine as Magnus’s kiss grew deeper.
Celeste suddenly found herself on her back, her hands pinned to either side of her head, slowly drinking in his wicked kiss. She pushed her hips beneath him; each cursory brush her clit made against his straining cock sent a jolt of electric pleasure throughout her body. Her nipples tightened against his chest, but she couldn’t touch him. Not with her hands pressed against the mattress. She hadn’t been held down like this in ages, nor had she felt the forbidden arousal of fucking an ex. There was a special kind of thrill in falling back in step with the man whom she’d left.
When he finally left her lips and pushed down her body, he let out a harsh breath as his tongue dipped into the valley between her breasts. “My sexy CeCe,” he murmured against her skin.
And with that, Celeste’s eyes sprang open. Jesus Christ, she had to put a stop to this. “Magnus, stop,” she whispered.
“Why?” he asked.
Celeste hooked her leg around his waist and used her body to push him onto his back. It was easier than she thought it would be, which proved why they shouldn’t be doing this. “Because I want you to remember in the morning,” she said, perched on top of him. “If I finally let you fuck me, I don’t want you to forget.”
He chuckled in the dark. “As if I could forget... I remember the last time very clearly.”
Celeste wasn’t finished testing him. “Do you?”
“We were making love when we probably should have been planning the B&E at the princess’s condo,” he murmured, his voice seeming to grow tired. “That was the night I thought I almost had you, CeCe. But you slipped from my fingers...”
Celeste rolled off him and returned to her side of the bed without saying a word. What could she say? His words sounded like a confession she didn’t want to hear. Sleeping with him was slightly easier than learning he harbored something for her that neither of them could understand. If she addressed these confessions, she might have to be introspective.
Her least favorite activity.
No, they didn’t have time for that shit.
“Stay with me?” he asked.
She hitched the blanket over her shoulder. “Yes, but no touching.”
“You’re no fun,” he said softly.
“We’re not supposed to have fun,” she said in her sternest voice, even though she was now wet and aching for him. Not Magnus. Just his body. “Just go to sleep,” she whispered.
Magnus grunted something, but his body went still. Celeste listened for more incoherent nonsense, but he’d gone quiet. Soon, his soft snores filled the room. She closed her eyes and sighed.
Please don’t remember this tomorrow...