8. Kade
8
Kade
I don’t usually nap, but I wake up from one mid-afternoon. There’s not much to do on my own in the cabin. There are some books, more out-of-print mysteries Antonia is so fond of. But no television, which means I can’t turn to rotting on a movie marathon.
So, I fell asleep instead.
I know that things in the main house are probably more exciting. Fun even, but… I wasn’t able to convince myself to stick around. Just felt like I was big and hulking and in the way with both my body and my emotions or, what others see, lack thereof.
It’s dark in here. Did I sleep all the way into the night?
After forcing myself out of bed and scrubbing my hands over my face to rub the sleep out of my eyes, I check my phone. It’s a little past four. Not quite sunset. And there are a couple of texts from Bryn.
Kade, big storm rolling in. Come to the main house.
G says power to the cabins can be spotty.
I sigh. On one hand, moving sounds difficult. On the other, I’m happy to have my hand forced. It will be good to be around people. I might be good at being on my own, but even lone wolves get tired of hearing their own howl.
Suddenly, a loud wind whistles outside the window, and a tree branch thwaps against the glass. Yeesh.
I get to my feet and go to the window, first getting a load of my reflection. My stubble’s turned into a schlubby five o’clock shadow, and my hair is a mess. Past my reflection, though, there’s snow. Lots of it. All right. Guess I’m heading out into the tundra.
I change out of my mussed clothes and trim my facial hair in the mirror, leaving a clean layer of stubble. Better. I want to, at the very least, look presentable. At the very best, I’d like Gia to at least like the sight of me.
As I trudge through the snow to the main house, suited up from stem to stern with as much gear as I have, I can’t shake the feeling of being pathetic for yearning. Something is going to have to give eventually. I’ll have to find a new job and move on, so I’m not always around her. Or I’ll have to tell her about my feelings.
Yeah, the latter definitely feels close to impossible. It’s almost laughable that after everything I did as a SEAL and all the adversity I faced learning to walk again after my back injury, telling Gia I like her as more than a friend feels like the hardest thing I would ever do.
When I get to the main house, I hang up my coat and leave my boots in the mudroom before heading into the common room. Harold is passed out in a big easy chair with Harriet beside him, working on a needlepoint, and Ahmad has now roped Andrew into a game of chess.
“You can’t do that,” Ahmad says.
“Why?”
“That piece doesn’t move diagonally.”
“I thought?—”
“Only if you are taking another piece, otherwise?— ”
Andrew slumps back into his chair. “This game is complicated.”
I give Andrew a nod. “You got it, dude. Ahmad’s a good teacher. Listen to him.”
“And I’m not a hustler! I could hustle you,” Ahmad says. “But I wouldn’t do that.”
I catch sight of Abigail in the doorway that leads from the common room into the front hall. She’s standing on a short stool, a bundle of green in her hands. “Hey, tall guy!”
I smile. “What’s up?”
“Can you help me with the mistletoe? I can’t reach. And you’re the human equivalent of a crane.”
I give her a side eye as I get closer. “This isn’t a trick, is it?” Abigail’s objectively pretty with her blonde hair and round cheeks. But I’ve only got eyes for Gia.
Her eyes widen. “Oh. Oh my gosh, no! I might be single, but I’m not desperate enough to trick a man into kissing me, gosh, ha! ” She steps back out of the doorway. “Here, I’ll even hand it to you from a different room if you’re suspicious. “
Now I feel like a jerk for putting her on the defense. “You really don’t have to?—”
“I’m already over the threshold, Tall Guy.”
Hulk… Tall Guy… all these nicknames are starting to add up.
Abigail wiggles the red-ribboned mistletoe in front of me, grinning.
I take it from her, careful to mirror her so I don’t step over the threshold, either. I glance up at the door frame. There’s a small metal hook already jutting out of the wood. “You want me to just?—”
When I look back down, Abigail’s disappeared. Gosh, she’s quiet on her feet. The Navy would have loved her.
I find the hanging loop and wriggle the mistletoe onto the hook—much easier for a tall guy like me. Once it’s on, I try to finagle the leaves to look a bit nicer and fuller.
Mistletoe is such a silly custom. The act of forcing people to kiss because of a little sprig of greenery. It’s like kiss cams at a sporting event. Why is everyone obsessed with seeing people kiss when they aren’t expecting it?
Abruptly, Gia rounds the corner, her head tilted over her shoulder as she calls back to Abigail, “Don’t you have all the allergies on fi—” She stops speaking when she stumbles into me, catching herself against my chest. Does she have to keep doing that? Touching me like it’s normal? “Oh, hey, sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.”
“S’fine,” I say and move to step out of her way.
However, Harriet calls out from across the room, “Look who’s under the mistletoe!”
Oh no.
Gia tips her head back and looks at the mistletoe overhead. Then her eyes fall into mine, wide and terrified.
“Gia and Kade sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g,” Andrew taunts.
“No. No ,” I say, trying to laugh it off, running a hand through my hair. “It was an accident, I was just?—”
“That’s the point of mistletoe, kiddo,” Harriet says. Harold snores as if to emphasize her point.
Gia waves her hands through the air. “Oh no. Ha! No. Abigail just came in here to check if Andrew’s allergies included peanuts and tree nuts.”
Abigail…
I look over Gia’s head and see the chef peeking out from around the corner. When she sees me looking, she smiles and skitters away.
Is she plotting ?
“Just Brazil nuts,” Andrew clarifies .
“Great, now that I have my answer—” Gia starts to back out of the doorway.
Bryn sits up from her place behind the front desk all the way at the back of the hall. “Rules are rules! You have to kiss.”
I widen my eyes at her. “Why would you say something like that? She’s your best friend, and I’m?—”
“He’s basically like my brother, Bryn,” Gia retorts.
Great, well, if I didn’t feel absolutely awful about my crush before, that takes the cake. “Yeah, same,” I say meekly. “I mean… like a sister.”
“Kiss her, kiss her, kiss her—” Andrew starts, banging his fists against his knees. To my chagrin, Ahmad joins in.
I start to step away. “Sorry, nothing to see here, folks.”
But Gia grabs my wrist. “No, come back here. We’ll do it.”
I shoot a look over my shoulder at her. “We will ?!”
“Give the people what they want. It’s in the performer’s handbook,” she says with a resigned smirk. “Come on.” She points to her cheek. “Lay it on me, Kade.”
This is not how I wanted this moment to go. I’ve imagined kissing Gia for the first time more than I’d like to admit. Dreamed about it. I scan the faces of the guests in the common room and then look at Bryn. Why is she encouraging this? And what does Abigail know that I don’t?
“Fine,” I say and roll my shoulders back.
Gia drops her hand. Her eyes flutter shut, and she waits for my lips to touch her cheek.
What if I took advantage of the moment and just laid one on her? She’d be surprised, that’s for sure. Would she be disgusted? I’m like a brother, after all.
I touch her cheek. Gia’s face softens, and her lips part.
I’ll do it. I’ll kiss her. It’s Christmastime, after all .
However, when I lean closer, I chicken out and divert my lips to her cheek. Even though it isn’t the kiss I’ve wanted for longer than I’d like to admit, it still sparks my insides. Her soft skin against my mouth, the smell of vanilla and citrus filling my nose, her warmth. Gia’s right there .
And when it comes to feelings like the ones I have for her, I’m a coward.
I pull back, drop my hand from her, and clear my throat.
Her eyes shoot open, and her cheeks redden.
“There. Done,” I say. “Happy, everyone?”
“A cheek kiss is a cop-out,” Andrew says with a shrug. “But whatever.”
I feel Gia’s eyes boring into me, but when I look at her, she looks away. She pats my chest softly and heads back into the kitchen. “Good show, good show.”
I sigh and collapse into a chair.
“One kiss took it out of you, huh?” Harriet teases.
Oh, shut up, Harriet.