Chapter 8 #3
“Maybe I don’t. But here’s another piece of this fucked up puzzle that you need to think about.
Wearing my cut gives you standing. If you refuse and your father gets his hands on you, my club brothers will help get you back because they’re my friends.
But I wouldn’t have the authority to raise brothers from all our affiliate clubs.
They’ll fight, risk their lives and die to protect an old lady in one of our cuts, but not personal friends, girls we like or… ”
When he hesitates, I finish the sentence, “Or one-night stands, like me. Right?”
He doesn’t come right out and agree. Instead, he simply states, “There’s a difference between a cage and a shield.”
I hate that some scared, exhausted part of me wants to reach for the cut because he’s not lying about the protection it bestows on me.
I grew up in a clubhouse. I know how things work.
A woman can be invisible, available, protected, or targeted depending on what is on her back.
A property cut isn’t just a cool leather fashion accessory.
It’s a system, coded symbols brothers understand without having to think too hard about it.
He lays it on the banister of the porch and steps back. “It’s your choice, Nora. Wear it if you want the protection it offers. Leave it there if you don’t. You’re right about one thing. Some decisions a person has to make for themselves. I won’t force it on you.”
I look at the cut, and a little sliver of longing rises in my heart. Black leather gleams in the sunlight. The stitching is immaculate. The sight of the Sons of Rage patch on the back and the scripted Property of Jinx embroidery is beautiful. I shouldn’t want to wear his cut.
“I don’t want you unprotected here. But I like you, so I don’t want you to be just another man telling me what to do.”
“I won’t be,” Jinx assures me bluntly.
“As long as you understand that wearing this doesn’t mean you own me, regardless of what’s written on the back.”
His voice drops. “Sweetness, if you wear my name on your back, I’m gonna feel a certain kind of way about it. I’d be lying to you if I said otherwise. But no, it won’t mean I own you.”
“I’m not anyone’s property,” I whisper, before sliding my arms into it. The weight settles over my shoulders.
Jinx looks over the cut first. Then his eyes rise to look at mine.
An expression flickers across his face, and he doesn’t speak or move for a full minute.
His eyes darken with an intensity that takes my breath away.
I can almost see the possessiveness rising in his mind, powerful and raw, before he shoves it down again.
That’s when I realize that protectiveness and possessiveness are too closely related to separate in his mind when he sees me wearing his cut. This is exactly what he meant by feeling some kind of way.
He finally asks, “Are you sure about this?”
“Yes. Once I make a decision, I don’t torture myself with self-doubt.”
“We all second guess ourselves. You can lie to yourself if you need to. Don’t lie to me.”
A shaky laugh slips out. “Telling me not to lie to you is rich, considering that you told me your name was Jake.”
His expression goes blank. “That wasn’t a lie. Jake is my name.”
“You know what I mean.”
“You didn’t give me your last name either, Nora Rivers.”
The use of my full name stings. I always feel shame over it. “My last name could get me killed in the wrong room.”
“And my cut could do the same.”
That ends the conversation because he’s right. That disagreement turned out to be a draw.
He steps closer. His expression is tight and his voice sounds wounded. “You left my bed without a word. I think I know the reason, but I want to hear it from your lips. Why?”
“I saw your tattoo,” I tell him truthfully.
His face changes into something much less emotional. “That’s why?”
“What did you think was the reason?”
“I didn’t know. I thought you didn’t see me as worth getting to know.”
I let out an exasperated laugh. “God, no. We had a lovely evening and an amazing night.”
“I thought you regretted being with me. That you maybe even regretted giving me your virginity.”
His open honesty knocks some of the anger out of me. “I was just scared.”
“That ain’t the same thing as regretting knowing me.”
“I wanted Jake. I liked him a lot and even trusted him. Then I woke up beside Jinx, sergeant-at-arms for the Sons of Rage, my father’s sworn enemy. I didn’t know how to handle that and I panicked.”
He studies my face, and the heat in his eyes fades into pain once again. “You could’ve woken me.”
“And said what?” I ask. “Good morning, I’m the club princess from the Hyenas and I accidentally slept with you. Hope that doesn’t start a club war that could kill you.”
A ghost of a smile curves up the corners of his mouth. “That would’ve been one hell of a conversation.”
Despite everything, I start smiling too. “I worried that you would hate me.”
“That would never happen,” he insists. He pauses then reaches up and touches the edge of the cut. “Seeing you in my cut is messin’ with my head.”
“I know it is.”
His eyes lift to mine. “Yeah?”
“You’re not subtle, babe.”
“No,” he admits. “I probably won’t ever be subtle, not when it comes to you.”
“You should really step back now,” I tell him breathlessly.
“Do you want me to?”
That’s the problem with Jinx. He always asks and forces me to be honest with myself. “No, not really.”
He lets out a slow breath. “Thank fuck for small mercies.”
Before I can even think, his mouth is on mine. My mind remembers what it was like when he took his time with me, all those weeks ago. How he kissed my body, made me come with his mouth and how delicious it felt when he slid his cock inside me for the first time.
I grab the front of his cut and pull him closer. He slides one hand into my hair while the other slides around my waist, tugging me closer. The sun shines down on us as we lose ourselves to the kiss, the one I’ve been daydreaming about since the last time we were together.
His mouth leaves mine and moves to my jaw, then the side of my neck. I tip my head, giving him access. Our property cuts rub between us, making a sound that sends a shiver through me.
“You drive me out of my fuckin’ mind,” he says against my throat.
“That sounds inconvenient, like it might get in the way of more amazing sex.”
He laughs. The sound is rough and breathless in my ear. Then he kisses me again. This kiss is slower, deeper, and gives me time to get into my feelings.
Just then we hear a whirling sound overhead. Someone shouts, “Inside! It’s another drone.” Jinx steps back, spins me around and puts me between him and whatever’s out there, protecting me with his own body. Then he’s hustling me inside the concrete building.