Chapter 8 Raven
Raven
This is my special spot. My place to slip off whenever I need space. It’s one of the few reasons I love being pushed out toward the edge of Willowbrook Ridge. When I’m out here, there isn’t a problem big enough to reach me in this kind of place. Normally, anyway.
Yet here I am, hoping that if I sink deep enough, I’ll be distracted from these awful feelings that come my way whenever the club has to do something reckless.
Penelope getting all worked up about Judge helps make the threat of this feel so much more real. She’s scared that they’re going to die, and now, I’m starting to, as well.
I don’t like being worried.
I need to jump into this water now. As my fingers brush against the hook of my bra, I hear a choking sound come from the man looking at me like I’ve grown a second head on my shoulders. Between pain and worry, my peaceful silence keeps getting disturbed.
Jinx looks like he’s about to have a meltdown.
“No one comes here.” Keeping my voice calm, my heart does a small flutter when his eyes dip low before flicking back up. He keeps doing that. Keeps trying to look, all while trying not to look. The guy could at least try not to be obvious about it.
It’s funny. I thought I wouldn’t care about stripping in front of him. I mean, a piece of me is trying to convince myself that last night was a fluke. He’d get worked up over any woman, and I’m not some special case. Yet, when he looks at me now, I can’t convince myself of anything.
A heat twists around in my chest and drips down to my stomach, trailing even further like there’s no end under his hungry gaze.
Turning away, I shove my underwear down and hear him sputter and release a groan that’s placed deep within him. Pretending I misheard, the heat goes nowhere as I make the rest of my clothing disappear on the spot.
Everything is fine.
Finally bare, I can’t take another second of what I know is arousal picking my body apart. Instead of feeding into it like I did yesterday, I make a run for the water.
Only when I jump and sink under the surface do I finally feel relief. Like ice needles prickling my skin all over the place, they target every heated spot. My chest, my limbs, and even the throbbing between my thighs.
Coming back up, the next breath of air feels refreshing and freeing. This is so much better than soaking in all the worry that filled that place.
I know that if I spent a few more minutes in there, the cracks in my exterior wouldn’t just show my concern. They’d reveal the other things occupying my troubled thoughts.
Jinx stares at me, his eyes locked on for the longest time. Finally, he breaks away and looks around, his jaw set. “You do this often?”
“A couple of times a week. Sometimes late at night, sometimes not.” I sigh under my breath. “Don’t ruin this for me. Don’t turn this into a mistake.” Splashing the water, it ripples toward him. “Get in. Swim in your clothes, I honestly don’t care.”
Of course, I do, but I’m not letting myself accept it.
My curiosity about him wasn’t completely satisfied yesterday.
Jinx finally gives. He pulls off his shirt and drops it next to mine. I shouldn’t watch him undress, but I do. Even worse, he keeps his eyes on me, too. This moment we’re sharing feels… intimate.
I don’t realize I’m holding my breath until my lungs start burning and my body sinks to the bottom. Dipping low enough for the water to lick at my cheeks, I realize there’s warmth there, too.
Neither of us speaks as he shoves his jeans down. I can see the hesitation when it comes to his boxers. From his past actions, I know he’s not shy about getting all touchy and feely. He’s dried humped with an audience, and even went past that when he drinks too much.
He shoves his boxers down, and once more, I see he’s hard. Searing his thigh, even from a distance, I can see how impressive it is.
Is he always hard?
Or… What if…
He isn’t attracted to you. He doesn’t even like you.
Jinx doesn’t jump in as I had. He takes one step at a time, slowly submerging himself in the cool water. Despite hissing at the temperature, he doesn’t stop until finally, he’s completely under, leaving behind nothing but a couple of bubbles before even that stops.
The water surrounding my body no longer feels cold. I’m not even numb. Instead, it feels warm. Too warm.
I can’t tell where he is, but do I want to? I should be more worried about trying to relax.
When he pops back up, sucking in a lungful of much-needed air, I catch the way water comes pouring off his shoulders, down his chest, and past his sculpted abs.
He looks… good. I get the appeal. I hate that I do, but I do. It’s what creates such a pull, an invisible force tugging me toward him.
Against the rocks and dirt at my feet, I step toward him without thinking.
As he swipes the water from his face and shoves each wet strand of hair back, he finally notices I’m getting closer and closer.
He keeps his eyes glued to my face in an attempt to be, I don’t know, respectful? His mouth curves, but that slanted smile looks tight, forced.
“You coming here to drown me? That was your plan the whole time, wasn’t it?”
I want to get my hands on him, he’s right. But I don’t want to push him under the water. I want to climb and never let go. Deep down, these urges are clawing at me, demanding I do something about them, to ease this hunger I’ve never felt before.
I don’t know if it’s because he’s oozing sex appeal or because he pushes my buttons like no one else does, but I can’t crush these feelings down.
When I don’t respond to his question, his brows pinch together. When the water ripples around me as I lift my arms, his eyes flicker down, and I see it.
He’s hungry, too. Neither of us wants it, but we can’t deny it. Things would be too easy that way.
My fingers glide over his shoulders, and with each movement, his muscles ripple, tracing a path up his throat and toward his face. Instead of yanking away, he continues to let me touch. If one of us isn’t willing to stop something from happening, then we’re asking for trouble here.
Stop before you do something stupid.
More and more demands fill my head, all words I ignore as the pull between us grows too strong.
Letting out a shaky breath, I catch myself drinking in his mouth as he stares back in confusion.
He might annoy the hell out of me with those lips of his, but the kiss that we shared wasn’t that bad. Once I start thinking about it, I find myself wanting to do it again.
“Raven…” My name leaves him in a way that I’ve never heard before. There’s no mocking tone or any annoyance. There’s just… pain.
Sinking my fingers into the wet strands of his hair, I tug his head back and finally put us out of this awful misery.
I hate how eager I am to feel his tongue slip past my lips, but my body burns hotter the moment he starts exploring. Like it’s his first time, he takes his sweet time flicking and nipping, making small sighs and groans leave me.
Squirming to get impossibly closer to him, his hands lock beneath me. Despite the water doing most of the work to hold my weight, my ankles cross at his tailbone, keeping him in place.
The kiss doesn’t stop at a simple taste or two. My body has a mind of its own, pressing against him and grinding, seeking any relief for the throbbing happening between my thighs. Throbbing, he is the one to be blamed for.
Clutching and clawing at each other sounds like an understatement. He groans as my nails dig into the back of his neck. While he grips my hips to keep my body in place, not even the cold water can numb the pressure of his fingers.
Focusing on his mouth alone, I forget to breathe. Head growing muddled, I’m leaning in against him for one more taste of everything he has to offer. Everything I can’t possibly get from anyone else before finally, it becomes all too much.
Pulling away, my lungs burn as my body tries to get the oxygen it needs. Like a fire burning up inside me, it devours every breath.
“I want…” Panting, my eyes close as the pleasure grows. “I need…”
The last word settles on my tongue, ready to slip out. You. But I clench my teeth, refusing to let it out. The truth can stay in the pit of my chest where all the rest of this awful heat is collecting.
I don’t need to voice such weakness. Somehow, he just knows.
It’s why he starts moving toward the edge of the bank.
Despite the level of the water growing lower and lower, he keeps his hold on my body unbroken.
Hooking his arms beneath my legs, he pulls me out of the lake entirely before he plants me down in the grass.
Hardly noticing the way it pokes and prods at my back, he’s claiming my mouth once more.
Flattening every inch of my body beneath the bulk of his weight, he’s silently swallowing me up away from the rest of the world with his body.
With one thrust forward, I discover every hard inch of his cock digging into my lower belly.
Shifting lower, he pulls his mouth from mine and attacks my throat. From drinking in the crystal clear water clinging to my skin, to scraping his teeth against where my pulse races the quickest, the quick pain that comes with a nip isn’t even bad. Fuck, it feels good.
As much as I hate not having control of the situation, right now, I can’t focus long enough to try to get it back.
Hardly recognizing the sounds leaving me as he rolls his hips, the pressure of his entire erection hot against me, my legs automatically wrap around him to keep him in place.
Now, this is a feeling I prefer to what I was feeling at the bar. This is way better.
Another nudge, another glide, and I can feel the heat seeping from him.
Neither of us will admit it out loud, but there’s no need to. Our bodies are confessing everything shamefully.
“Let me in, Raven.” He groans, his breath hot against my neck. “You want me to beg, I’ll beg.”
He wanted to have sex yesterday, too. I only said no because I didn’t feel like this.