Chapter 26
CHAPTER
TWENTY-SIX
Joey pulled up to the light blue house, finding big wooden numbers that were almost the ones she had been given.
A quick look to the right, and she found the basement entrance to the apartment with the address on it that could become hers.
A quiet excitement built within her as she put her car in park.
“It looks nice,” Belle said from the passenger seat, and Joey blinked over to her.
“It does, right?” she said. “The pictures online looked really good, too. They’ve remodeled it, so even though it’s a basement, it looked nice.”
Joey had been looking at apartments for rent for the past month, and since she’d been saving since she moved back to Coral Canyon a year and a half ago, she hoped that even though she hadn’t made her one thousand dollars from Rooelle Pies, she’d still be able to get into a place starting in the New Year.
“Let’s go,” Harry said from the back seat, and his seat belt clanged against the plastic of the door, because the retractor in that one didn’t work. He didn’t comment on it and got out, and Joey’s pulse hammered at her as she did the same thing.
The sky around and above her held only gray, and it felt ominous and dangerous as she rounded the hood of the car and joined Belle and Harry on the sidewalk. “It’s going to snow,” she said.
“Supposed to,” Harry said, as he led the way down the sidewalk with the pale brown grass bordering it on both sides. “This is nice, Joey,” he said. “Easy access to the street.”
“Yeah,” Joey said.
She wasn’t sure why she hadn’t wanted to look at apartments alone, but she hadn’t. She could have asked Boston to come with her, but he’d gone to Jackson Hole this week, as he’d expanded his radius for jobs and had applied to a few places there and gotten interviews.
Harry paused at the top of the stairs and let Joey go past him. He grinned at her and said, “Lead us in, Roo.”
She flashed him a tight smile that felt like it choked her, and then she went down the steps.
The door had a lock box on it, and Joey quickly whipped her phone out of her purse.
She’d taken a screenshot of the code, and she navigated to that quickly, and then moved the numbers on the combination lock to the correct position, and pressed her thumb up against the compartment.
It didn’t budge.
She frowned and looked at her phone again. “It’s three-eight-one-two,” she said, knowing she’d put it in right. She looked at the combination, and sure enough, it was right. The metal burned her hand with cold, and she stepped back.
“Will you try it, Harry? Maybe I’m not strong enough to move it.”
Harry edged in, checked the combination, and then jammed his thumb against it as well.
“You have to press the side there,” Belle said, pointing. “Look how there’s a button.”
“Oh.” Harry did that, pushed again, and sure enough, the compartment slid open. He reached inside and pulled out a pair of keys. He handed them to Joey, who retook her place in front of the door, fitted the key into the knob, and unlocked it.
She pushed the door open and paused before she stepped over the threshold and into the apartment.
A gray, flat light echoed throughout the space the same way it did outside, and Joey could only imagine how much sunlight she’d have in the spring and summer.
She peered inside and found the living room on her left.
“The carpet is new,” she said, taking that first step inside. Her foot landed on beige tile, which ran straight in front of her, down a hallway, and expanded to the left into the kitchen. The carpet only sat in the living room, and Joey knew from the pictures that it was in the bedroom as well.
“This is just a one-bedroom place?” Harry asked, entering after her.
“Yes,” she said. “One bedroom, one bath. Big laundry room, though. They said their last tenant used it as a miniature office.”
Joey swallowed because this apartment was unfurnished, and she did not currently own a couch, a dining room table or chairs, any lamps, a TV, a TV stand, or a real adult-sized bed.
Doubt started to swirl through her, because she had no idea how she could possibly afford to purchase all of those things and pay the security deposit and the first and last month’s rent.
“This is nice,” Belle said. She’d branched off into the kitchen, and Joey turned around while Harry closed the door.
“Really big,” Belle said. “This will be perfect for your cooking.”
The fridge stood at the corner of the wall, and the kitchen wrapped around with plenty of counter space, a sink, a dishwasher, and the stove.
The window sat on the back wall with plenty of room for a big dining room table.
The island was shaped like a trapezoid, and everything had been done in gray and white, including the granite in the countertops.
“This is almost too nice for me,” Joey said, running her fingertip along the cold slab of stone.
It didn’t take long to go down the hall and peek into the bathroom, which had matching tile and a full tub and shower combo. The laundry room sat in the very corner with the washer and dryer included, and a folding table across from the appliances with plenty of space between.
“Yeah, this is nice,” Harry said.
Joey moved into the bedroom next, which would have plenty of room for anything she owned, including a bean bag that she could make into a reading corner.
“It’s the first place I’ve looked at,” Joey said as she returned to the main area of the apartment.
“That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get it,” Belle said. “Do you like it?”
“Yeah, I love it,” Joey said.
“Everything is brand new in here,” Harry said. “Paint, flooring, everything.”
Everything inside Joey felt tight, and she nodded. “I don’t know if I can afford this,” she said.
“I thought we were looking at it because you could afford it.” Harry’s frowning gaze came back to hers. “How much is it?”
“Eight-fifty,” Joey said. “Plus first and last month’s rent, and a security deposit.”
Joey needed two thousand dollars to move into this place, and she thought of her bank account and sighed. “I have the money,” she said. “To get into the apartment, but how am I supposed to live here? I don’t have any furniture.”
She wasn’t like Adam, who could simply call up Aunt Hilde and rattle off a list of all the things he needed and have them show up—paid for—by the weekend.
“It’s a nice place,” Harry said.
“Didn’t you have a couple of others we were going to go look at today too?” Belle asked.
“Yes.” Joey headed for the door, though they’d only been there maybe ten minutes. The pictures had spoken a thousand words, and seeing it in person only solidified for her that she liked it.
“There’s one that’s furnished, so maybe it will be better.”
She led the way back out to the car, and she, Harry, and Belle went to see two more apartments. Then she dropped off Belle and Harry at his house with only twenty minutes until she had to get to work at Pork and Beans.
She connected her phone to Bluetooth, so she could call Adam hands-free, and she dialed him before she pulled out of Harry’s driveway.
“Hey, baby doll,” Adam said. “How were the apartments?”
Joey sighed heavily and looked out the side window.
“That doesn’t sound good.” Adam’s voice slowed and lowered, and she could almost see him looking up from his work or settling down from whatever he was walking away from. “What’s going on?”
“One of them was really nice,” Joey said. “The first one we went and saw? I sent you those links.”
“Yeah,” Adam said. “I looked at them.”
“The second one was okay,” Joey said. “But it’s in a big complex, and I don’t really like that.”
“Right.”
“The third one was furnished,” Joey said.
She wasn’t sure why such a keen thread of unhappiness moved through her.
She didn’t want to be ungrateful, and perhaps she didn’t deserve any better.
“But it wasn’t nice, Adam,” she said. “I feel stupid saying that, like I’m just some dumb twenty-two-year-old, and—”
“No.” Adam’s bark cut her off. “You are not some dumb twenty-two-year-old. You work two jobs; you take care of your grandparents. You deserve somewhere nice to live, and if it wasn’t nice, then it wasn’t nice.”
Joey swallowed, tears pressing so close to the surface. “It wasn’t very nice,” she said, her voice coming out nasally and tinged with tears.
“So you’ll get the first one,” Adam said. “You deserve somewhere really nice to live, baby doll. I want that for you.”
“I can’t afford it,” Joey said, her frustration thankfully covering up her emotion. “Well, I mean, I can, but I don’t have any furniture.”
“Oh, well, furniture is easy,” Adam said, as if he was talking about how the sky just shone blue every day or the grass grew in green.
“It’s easy for you,” Joey said, a bit of bite in her tone now.
“What, uh—?” Adam cut off and didn’t continue. Sudden tension threaded through the air, so thick Joey could almost taste it on her tongue.
“I can help you get some furniture,” Adam finally said, his voice as neutral as Joey had ever heard it.
“I don’t—”
“We can go shopping together,” he said. “The way you came with me when I got my cowboy hat. We’ll just go to your aunt’s place, and we’ll walk around, and you’ll pick out all the things that you like.”
Joey ground her teeth together. “There is no way I can let you do that.”
“Why not?” he asked.
“Because we’ve been dating for one month,” she said.
“Six weeks,” he corrected.
“I’m still not going to let my boyfriend of six weeks buy me an entire apartment’s worth of furniture.” Joey gripped the steering wheel like she was trying to strangle the life out of it.
“Even if I want to?” Adam asked. “I’m an adult; I know what I’m doing.”
“I know that.” Joey sighed again. “I just…I can’t.” The differences between her and Adam felt so stark in that moment. She didn’t want them to be so apparent, but she worked two jobs according to someone else’s schedule, and he worked from home according to his own.
“I’m going to think about it,” she said. “I’ll look at my finances again when I get home tonight.”
The twin bed she slept in now was from her childhood, and she could take it with her. Joey felt selfish and greedy as she thought, but she didn’t want a twin bed in her new apartment. She wanted to feel like an adult, and adults had big beds.
“Okay,” Adam said. “I’ll call you later tonight, and we can talk some more about it.”
Joey wasn’t sure she wanted that, either, but she didn’t argue.
“I just want you to be happy,” he said.
“I know,” she said. “It’s not that I’m unhappy with Grams and Gramps. I’ve always loved them, and they’ve been so good to me.”
“That’s not really what this is about,” Adam said quietly, and Joey hated that he understood her so completely. She should be happy about that, and in most cases, she was. Right now, she told herself that he simply didn’t get it.
Adam had had money in his life for a long time now, and he’d merely forgotten what it was like not to be able to buy anything he wanted.
Joey wanted to make her own way in the world. She didn’t want to have to go to her parents or grandparents or anyone else to get help, even as unfeasible as that was at this stage in her life.
“I’m baking tomorrow,” she said. “Are you still planning to come?”
“Yes,” Adam said. “If that’s okay.”
He’d been making the drive to Coral Canyon every day for lunch, as Joey got off from Cake Bites by eleven and didn’t have to be at Pork and Beans until four.
“Yeah, of course it’s okay,” she said. “I can’t wait to see you.”
“I could have come apartment hunting with you today.” He made his voice light, but Joey still heard the hurt inside it.
“I know,” she said. “But you had all those phone calls to make. Did you get everything sorted with the sound and light company?”
“Yes, finally,” he said, his tone turning a bit darker, because it had taken him a long time to find the proper equipment he needed for the concert series. “We’ll have everything we need for the concerts.”
“Oh, that’s great,” Joey said. “They’re coming up fast.”
“Yeah, just a few more weeks,” Adam said.
Joey made the last turn to the big historic church where Pork and Beans had their catering office in the back. “All right,” she said. “I’m at work. I have to go.”
“All right, Roo,” Adam said. “Seriously, call me tonight.”
“Okay,” she said, though she wasn’t sure she’d call him. Knowing Adam, even though they’d only been dating for a couple of months, she knew he’d call her if she didn’t. “Talk to you later.”
“Bye, baby,” he said. He ended the call, and Joey sat in her car, still a few minutes early for her shift. She stared out the windshield, a single question running through her mind: What is he doing with me?
Everyone, from her Uncle Tex to her daddy to Adam himself, had been trying to get Joey to see how awesome she was, but as she sat in the driver’s seat, alone, thinking of how much it would cost her to furnish an apartment and move into it, Joey had never felt so low.
She closed her eyes against the burning tears, determined not to let them fall.
“Dear God,” she prayed. “I am trying to see myself as Thy daughter, worthy of good things in my life, like a nice apartment and my sweet boyfriend, Adam. Will You please help me see it? Help me see in myself what he sees. Help me see and understand what my daddy sees and what Georgia sees and what Grams sees, because right now, I just feel like a problem.”
And to Joey, there was no worse feeling.
She waited, the gentle air of the heater blowing through the car, and her own mind blissfully quiet. She opened her eyes and found the snow had finally arrived, big, fat flakes drifting down and melting when they touched her windshield.
She smiled, because Joey had always liked living in Wyoming. She didn’t mind the winter or the snow, because it meant she could plug in her blanket, make a cup of hot chocolate, and collapse into her bean bag and read for the day.
Not that her life allowed her to do that very often anymore, but the thought that she could brought her comfort.
You are precious to me, the words entered her mind in the same near-silent way that the snow fell, and Joey let the tears burning in her eyes streak down her face, for she knew God had just spoken to her and confirmed to her that she was His daughter and she did have worth.
Though she couldn’t quite see how or why He loved her, she could feel absolutely that He did.
She knew He had not abandoned her, and that if she continued to try to see herself the way those who loved her did, He would eventually open her eyes and provide that sight for her.
“I won’t give up,” she promised Him, and then she hurried through the falling snow to the back door of Pork and Beans, wondering with every step if she should just take a leap of faith and get that apartment before it was leased to someone else.