Chapter 34
CHAPTER
THIRTY-FOUR
Adam stepped up to the mirror in his master bathroom and straightened the tie at his throat.
He’d gone Christmas shopping with Joey this week, finally picking out a few things for her parents and siblings, as well as the members of Country Quad, and lastly, Harry and Belle.
He’d taken all of his gifts to a woman in the neighborhood to wrap them, as his gift-wrapping skills matched his cooking ones.
As part of that shopping expedition, he’d bought himself a tie to wear to church today.
He wasn’t like Cecily, who wore an apron covered in elves, and his tie was a deep, beautiful red with a gold paisley pattern woven throughout it.
The thread shone metallic in the light, and Adam sighed and looked into his own eyes.
“This is it,” he said, though he wasn’t exactly sure what “it” was.
He got himself out of the house and down the highway to Coral Canyon.
Despite the fact that Joey had not moved into her apartment yesterday as planned, and would not have to walk into the service alone, he had agreed to go with her.
Truth be told, he was the one who needed someone to walk in with him.
He pulled into the parking lot at her grandparents’ condo just as it started to snow again.
He hadn’t minded the weather until the last couple of weeks, when it seemed to snow for a whole day, take a day off—just long enough for everyone to dig themselves out—and then Mother Nature would arrive with another dump of the white stuff.
Adam had bought a snow-blower, and then quickly realized that he could hire a pair of teenage brothers to come clear everything for him while he sipped coffee and went over notes in his office. So he’d done that instead.
He tossed his cowboy hat onto the passenger seat before he went to pick up Joey, because the wind would simply try to steal it from him anyway. He rang the doorbell at the condo and shivered inside his suit coat in the several seconds it took Joey to answer the door.
She wore a dark green dress that looked like it had been made of a thousand pleats. Silver thread sparkled throughout it, and Adam felt the same shine move through him.
“Wow,” he said. “Look how pretty you are.”
He forgot all about the cold and the need to get out of it, his desire to kiss Joey much stronger. He did that, noting that her grandparents were not here, and then took her hand and led her back to his car.
“What color is your suit?” Joey asked once they’d gotten in. “Is it black or blue?”
“It’s midnight blue,” he said. “But you can really only tell in the bright sunshine.”
“Which we don’t have today.” Joey peered through the windshield. “But hey, your first white Christmas.”
He smiled at her. “That’s right—my first white Christmas.”
He would be incredibly busy on Christmas Eve, as the first concert was that evening, and then Bryce had planned a birthday party for OJ at the ranch afterward. The forecast for Christmas Eve called for wind and overcast skies right now.
He could admit he had been praying with as much fervor as he had that it would not snow during the concert. Please, Dear God, he thought once again. I only need two clear hours out of this whole year.
That wasn’t entirely true, because he’d like it to be clear for the December twenty-seventh concert, as well as the New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day concerts, and the January sixth concert, and he once again wondered how he had allowed himself to be talked into having five outdoor concerts during a Wyoming winter.
He looked over to Joey. “Are you ready?”
“Are you?” she asked. “This is where my family goes to church, and everyone is going to see us walk in together.”
“Well, they already know we’re together,” Adam said.
Going with Joey wasn’t the reason his pulse bobbed in the back of his throat like an apple on Halloween evening.
He looked toward the building, the stained glass window overlooking the parking lot bringing an odd sense of comfort to him he hadn’t expected.
Joey reached across the console and took his hand. “You’re nervous.”
“Yes,” he said. “But not because I’m with you.”
All of the Youngs were religious. They attended church, and Adam simply didn’t think for one moment he could stay with Joey long term should he choose not to. She didn’t like contention, and every Sunday would reopen the rift between them.
Adam also didn’t want to fake his belief or his desires, and he drew a deep breath and pressed his eyes closed.
“I can say a prayer before we go in,” Joey whispered.
Adam nodded without opening his eyes. Joey exhaled, and Adam focused on the sound, and then switched his focus to his own breathing. He felt as the air entered his nose and filled his lungs, lifting his chest open and wide. He controlled the way it went out, feeling it release and escape.
“Dear Heavenly Father,” Joey said. “We come before Thee as Thy children to ask a special blessing on our church attendance today. Bless our minds to be open, our hearts to be pure, and our intentions to be righteous. Bless us each with the message that we need to hear to progress on our path back to Thee.”
She paused, and Adam had never heard anyone pray the way Joey did. Her voice sweet and angelic, praying for him, made his chest hitch and his composure collapse. His next breath did not enter his nose smoothly, but he stuttered.
Joey’s hand in his tightened, and she simply added, “Amen.”
“Amen,” Adam whispered, sealing the prayer with his own approval. He looked over to Joey, who gazed back at him in a soft, non-intense way that Adam really needed in his life.
“I’m glad I don’t have to walk in alone,” he said.
“Let’s go then, cowboy.” She reached into the back seat and picked up his hat and handed it to him. “Remember, you can use this any time you need to.” She smiled at him playfully then, and Adam settled his hat on his head as they got out of the car together.
She met him at the hood, and Adam took her hand as they made measured, even steps and walked side by side toward the little white building with the stained glass window.
Going up the steps and through the front door was easier than Adam anticipated, and inside, the scent of freshly washed laundry greeted him, along with a heavy blast of warm air that chased the cold out of his skin and nose and soul.
Adam smiled as he entered the chapel. As a kid, he’d always described feeling the Lord in his life as a warm tingle, and he felt that same way as Joey led him down a couple of rows and then stepped in far enough for just the two of them to sit on the end of the bench.
A family had taken up half of the bench on the other side, and Adam ducked his head and used his cowboy hat to hide the rest of the congregation.
He didn’t need to look around for her parents, or her aunts and uncles, or her cousins, or her grandparents. He didn’t need the pressure of their gazes or the weight of their expectations.
In that moment, Adam knew that only God’s expectations mattered to him. He glanced over to Joey and amended the thought, Well, God’s and Joey’s.
His mother would say she was a good influence on him, and he helped her shrug out of her coat, which she draped across her lap.
He put his arm around her and lifted his head to drink in the wood in the chapel.
It looked like a boat had been hollowed out with wood everywhere, and it reminded him of the forest, and the mountains, and being outside.
Adam settled further into himself, relaxing in a place he thought he never would.
Someone played the piano, but Adam didn’t look around for the origin of the sound. He simply closed his eyes, and in the deep brown darkness that he could see, he focused on how he felt.
It felt right to be at church today with Joey. It felt good that he’d gotten up, gotten himself ready, and had come to sacrifice his time to be closer to the Lord.
The service started with the pastor announcing that they would all stand and sing two Christmas hymns together before he would begin his talk.
Adam had never been much for singing, but he loved Angels We Have Heard on High and O Holy Night, and he joined his voice to the other members of the congregation as they lifted praise to God.
Then the pastor stood behind the pulpit and Adam lasered his focus on him.
“Brothers and sisters,” he said. “It is a beautiful time of year to reflect on our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and God the Father. I would like to start by asking you what I hope is a simple question, and if it is not a simple question, that the more you ponder it and try to answer it in your own life, that it will become such.”
He spoke with a big voice, and he had big hands to match that he gestured with. He grinned a big smile, and Adam felt comfortable in his presence.
“What is your relationship with God and Jesus Christ?” the pastor asked. “I want to submit to you today that the closer relationship you have with Him, the happier you will be in your life.
“Just like you get to know another person, you can learn about God. You ask questions, and learn about them. We need to be doing the same thing with our Lord. It takes time to truly know another person, and it will take time for that relationship to develop with God and Jesus Christ as well. But brothers and sisters, as we celebrate the birth of our Lord and move into a new and glorious year, what better way do you have to spend your time?”
The question struck Adam straight to the core.
Yes, he’d been busy living his life these past many years, and he often worked on Sunday.
He felt a true sense of chastening move through him, and he ducked his head again, as if he could hide from God.
He couldn’t, and he knew that. But he also wanted to be able to answer the pastor’s questions.
He wanted to be able to say that he’d put in the time to learn about God and Jesus Christ—and really get to know Him. He wanted to say that he had a close relationship with Him, and that he knew Him as well as God knew him.
Right now, he couldn’t say those things. He also didn’t know what kind of relationship he had with God and Jesus Christ.
Probably an estranged one, he thought. But the good news was—Adam knew what to do to bridge the gap between him and the Lord.
The pastor talked about reading the scriptures and spending more time in the Bible, where the life of Jesus Christ revealed not only his character, but that of God as well.
Adam could admit, it had been a long time since he’d cracked the Bible and tried to understand the words inside. He’d been slowly coming back to communicating with the Lord through prayer, but he didn’t kneel down at his bedside as of yet.
As he listened, the pinpricks of guilt became action points for him.
He would kneel down that evening and say his prayers. He would download a Bible app and start reading that very day.
Change could be instant, and his, and all he had to do was try.
If there was one thing Adam was really good at, it was making a list and completing the tasks. As his shame turned to action, and then excitement, he couldn’t wait to get started on rebuilding his relationship with God and Jesus Christ.
After the sermon ended, he and Joey didn’t stay long.
He hadn’t quite found the words to articulate how he felt, and Joey let him sit with his thoughts all the way back to his house in Dog Valley.
When he pulled into the garage, he looked over to her, and she looked back at him with the kindest smile on her face.
Adam had asked his mother how he would know when he was in love, and she’d given him the vaguest answer of all: You’ll just know.
Gazing at Joey in that moment, Adam definitely felt like he was in love with her.
“So what did you think?” Joey asked.
“I really liked that sermon,” Adam said. “I got some really good ideas out of it—things I need to do.”
“So did I,” she said.
“Oh, yeah?” he asked. “Like what?”
Joey sighed, and she looked out the windshield toward the front wall of the garage. “Well, he said that if we develop a relationship with God, He’ll guide us on the path we need to be on. And I’ve really been feeling lost since I returned to Coral Canyon.”
“Right,” he said.
“But I don’t feel like that anymore,” Joey said. “I could do better in my relationship with God, of course, but I feel like I’ve been doing okay, and what I need to do is trust that I am on the path He wants me on.”
She turned and looked at him, that intense earnestness in her blue eyes now that lit him up as well.
“And if I’m not, He’ll re-guide me to the right place.
I don’t think I really believed that until today, and I’m going to work on trusting in God more, that He’s going to guide me where I should be. ”
“That’s amazing, baby doll,” he said. “I’m really happy for you.”
“What about you?” she said.
“Oh, I’m going to start with the basics,” he said. “Like a little kid—I need to pray, read my scriptures, and get to know God all over again.”
He grinned at her and added, “But first, let’s go eat lunch.”