Chapter 47 #2
My mind spins like a merry-go-round. He forfeited? What the actual fuck? I scan for a single smile to let me know this is all some big joke, but there isn’t the slightest trace of humor to be found, not even on Rhett’s face. They are dead serious.
“But—” I start, but I have no idea how to end that sentence. But he can’t do that? But I don’t want him to leave? But I still need him in my life?
Rhett tosses his cards on the table and folds his arms. “We tried to talk him out of it, but he was insistent. Said it was the only way.”
That’s impossible. We could have worked something out. We still had months until the challenge was over. There’s no way he thought he was going to lose already.
Quiet conversation picks up again, although no one seems to have any interest in resuming the game. I stare at my cocktail, which is growing warm in the summer air. I’ve barely touched it, and the thought of doing so now makes me physically ill.
“Excuse me,” I murmur, to no one in particular, before picking up my bag and heading inside.
I have no clear intentions—I just know I have to go somewhere I can process all of this alone.
Wandering down a dark corridor, I open the door at the end and step into a huge library lined with floor-to-ceiling bookcases.
There are arched windows on the north side and a worn leather sofa in the middle.
It’s so Walker, I smile without thinking.
As I sink into the couch, anger courses through me like a wildfire blaze. It burns hot, igniting every single inch of me, even my toes, so I kick off my shoes and scowl at the bookcase in front of me.
Why the hell did Pierce string me along this entire time—months—if he was just going to bail halfway through?
I went fucking skydiving for this challenge.
I endured the worst date in the history of humanity.
I had to be his assistant for twenty-four hours when there are a million other things I could have been doing.
And now I find out it was all for nothing? He couldn’t even let me win fair and square. No, he just had to make a show of being the bigger person by pulling out. Now everyone is upset at me, and I didn’t even know he was planning to do this.
Before I can think better of it, I grab my phone from my bag and call him. I don’t have a clue what I’m going to say. I’m sorry, please come back? Turns out, I don’t need a plan, because it rings ten times before his voicemail picks up.
“Hey, it’s Pierce. Leave a message.”
Just the sound of his voice sends a hot poker through my lungs. I gasp for breath and end the call. As soon as it disconnects, I try again. He still doesn’t answer.
“Fuck.” I toss the phone aside, then immediately pick it up again and send a text.
Call me. We need to talk.
I stare at the screen for five minutes, watching as the clock ticks, but the text remains unread. Unbelievable.
Falling back against the soft leather, I let my eyes glass over. I didn’t know it would be like this. I didn’t know he was going to just disappear. If I had known—
But as soon as I think it, I stop myself. I would have what? Changed my mind? Turned Preston down? Stayed with Pierce when he begged me?
No, this was only ever going to end one way, and we all knew it. There isn’t room in this friend group for both him and me. One of us was always going to have to walk away. I’m sure glad it’s not me, but did I really want it to be him?
I guess I hadn’t actually considered the implications of our agreement, not really.
Certainly not recently. It’s like I thought we’d stay suspended in time—maintaining a relationship of sorts, even if it wasn’t sexual, bickering and fighting because it’s what we do best. Never once did I stop to think about what it would feel like once he was out of my life for good.
And now that he is, it feels like the most important part of me has stopped working, the life support turned off with a click as my vitality slowly drains away.
I brush my hands across my skirt, and a new wave of anger surges through me.
I chose this dress for him, spent hours looking for the perfect one—one I knew he’d appreciate.
I imagined his hands on the small of my waist, pulling me in close and inhaling the perfume I always apply behind my earlobe.
It was a false fantasy, because I knew he wouldn’t, but I expected to read the desire in his eyes anyway, had imagined us sharing a look as we both pictured what the other would want.
It’s ridiculous, I know. I’m with Preston now, and Pierce and I are nothing more than a side note.
We were never more than that, even when we were together.
He’s probably found a new Ella already, a tall blond in a push-up bra and stilettos, trying to sound intelligent while wondering what she can do to lock down Pierce St. James for life.
The thought makes my already nauseous stomach fill with bile.
Is that where he is tonight? Is he treating her to dinner before he takes her back to his flat and fucks her on his kitchen counter?
Is he even thinking about me at all, knowing I’ve found out about his decision tonight?
He didn’t even have the decency to tell me himself, just left his dirty work to our friends.
For a second, I thought he was developing feelings for me, but it turns out that was all a joke too.
You don’t fall for someone, then leave them on the side of the road to fend for themselves.
Nothing will be the same with him gone, and he knows it.
He knew what he was doing when he walked away, and he still did it.
And you know what? I’m glad he’s gone. I’m glad I kept him at arms’ length, because this is exactly what I was afraid of. I knew he’d try to wound me, so I did what I had to in order to protect myself.
So then why does it still hurt so bad?