Chapter Two
“THIRTY-THREE YEARS old?” Eloise looked at Lila across the bilberry bushes between them. Her blue eyes were wide in her round face. “That is nearly the age of my mother.”
“I know!” Lila agreed completely with her friend’s shock. “I am repulsed by the idea of such an old man.” She shuddered as she envisioned a shiny pate and weather-worn skin the color of leather.
“And your uncle made no mention of Neville?”
“None!” Lila let out an exaggerated breath.
“I had assumed Uncle harbored hope that Neville and I would make a happy match. It is not as though he has pushed me toward other men, and I was not out when Neville left.” She made no mention of her inferior birth and the part it might play.
That no one spoke of her history often led her to believe they did not know or did not care.
After this morning, however, she felt conspicuous and exposed by the reminder that all was not forgotten or forgiven, despite the fact that she had nothing to do with the circumstances of her birth.
“Uncle Peter did say some very kind things about his regard for me,” she said.
“That eased the sting some.” He had specifically said he hoped she would remain nearby, but apparently not at Franklyn Farm.
“Everyone knows your uncle adores you,” Eloise said, smiling as she pushed a tendril of blonde hair from her face.
She wore a bonnet with an extra wide brim to protect her fair skin from the September sun.
Eloise would be presented in London next spring, something Lila had to continually suppress her envy toward.
“Will Neville still return in time for the masquerade?” Eloise asked.
“According to his last letter to me, yes. But Mortimer will be here next week, nearly a fortnight before I can expect Neville.” She made a face and picked more berries.
“I must admit to being a little bit impressed that Uncle kept this Mortimer’s coming from my attention for so long; he’s not one who keeps secrets very well. At least not from me.”
“Because you hide in his study,” Eloise said with a smirk, though she didn’t look up from her berry picking. “And then trick him in to telling you what you already know.”
“The end justifies the means.” Lila lifted her chin. “I have no regrets.”
“I am well aware of that.” Eloise rolled her eyes at her friend and then moved behind a thick portion of foliage that hid her from Lila’s view. “What shall you do about Mr. Mortimer, then?”
Mortimer, Lila repeated in her mind. How could she ever love a man with such a name? Really, did her uncle know her at all? “Perhaps he will not like me and everything will come to naught.”
“Which would be an easier hope to nurture if you were not so lovely, charming, and well-spoken.” The laugh in Eloise’s voice, though she was hidden by the bilberry bush, gave appropriate humor to her statement.
“Very true,” Lila sighed dramatically. “It is such a trial to be so very appealing. A curse, really.” In truth she was very pretty, and gentlemen had always been attentive to her, but only to a certain extent.
They were careful, it seemed, not to appear too interested but Lila had never been terribly vexed by this because of Neville’s presence in her heart.
“No doubt Mr. Mortimer will fall madly in love with you from the start,” Eloise continued, “and then you shall really be in the soup.”
Lila laughed at the outrageous conversation, but then stopped abruptly and hurried around the thicket. “That’s it,” she said as what felt like pure wisdom seemed to pour into her mind from heaven itself.
“What?” Eloise said, pulling her eyebrows together.
“I cannot leave it to chance,” Lila said. “I must make sure he does not fall in love with me from the very beginning.”
“How will you do that?” Eloise cocked her head to the side. “We have already reviewed your multiple charms.”
“I do not know,” Lila said, already doubting herself since this man knew of her situation and was not dissuaded by it.
“I cannot be rude to him—he’s Uncle’s guest—and I wouldn’t want to offend him.
Even an old man with an unfortunate name does not deserve to be made to feel poorly.
” She began pacing, swinging her half-filled basket back and forth as she contemplated.
“What I must do is make it seem like his idea.”
“Not falling in love with you?” Eloise sounded confused.
“Exactly,” Lila said. “I must find a way to make myself . . . unattractive. He’s already expressed interest, or at least willingness, in meeting me, so he has positive expectations.
If I can present myself as different than he expects, he might feel disappointed but pardoned at the same time—glad to not have had any existing obligation to me he would be expected to fulfill. ”
“Yes,” Eloise said, catching the spirit of Lila’s plan, which was forming one straw at a time. “If done correctly he’ll feel badly for not liking you, rather than feeling disliked for himself.”
“His confidence will not be damaged,” Lila added. “And neither will his relationship with Uncle Peter.”
Eloise grimaced slightly. “Your uncle will still be disappointed.”
“Yes, he will be.” Lila frowned, wishing that part weren’t necessary.
A smile shortly broke free. “But then Neville and I shall make such a happy match that Uncle will forget all about the hopes he pinned on Mr. Mortimer Luthford, and, in time, he too will be grateful.” She pursed her lips.
“All we need to do is determine how to make me unappealing.”
Eloise feigned an innocent expression. “Perhaps you could act arrogant and prideful. I think all sorts of people are turned off from that sort of behavior.”
“You think you are teasing me,” Lila said, narrowing her eyes. “But that is exactly the type of thing I need to do. What would make a man disinterested in me without embarrassing my uncle?”
The young women stared at one another a few moments, then went back to their berry picking until Eloise made a little squeak.
Lila turned to see Eloise’s eyes wide again.
She put a hand on Lila’s arm. “I’ve thought of something,” she said, speaking fast. “There was an article a few months back in The Ladies’ Expositor about how to impress a gentleman—it had a list of what men like and what they don’t like in young ladies.
If you had a list like that and then did the opposite. . . .”
“Yes!” Lila’s enthusiasm for this brilliant plan was growing by the minute. “That’s exactly it. Do you still have the periodical?”
“Oh yes, I keep them all under the bed so that Mama doesn’t throw them out. She thinks they are silly things.”
“Well, they are silly things,” Lila agreed, turning back to the bush and picking twice as fast as she had before. She glanced sideways at her friend. “Yet you’re squirreling them away? I had no idea you were interested in such flippancy.”
Eloise also turned back to the bilberry bush and shrugged as though her cheeks weren’t suddenly bright as cherries. “I like to have something to read on nights I can’t sleep.”
“Of course,” Lila said with a smile, choosing not to comment on the extensive library at Eloise’s home that would be far more approved material in her mother’s eyes.
“But anyway, I’m sure I still have that edition. Once we finish here and get these berries to Cook, we can find that article.”
“Perfect,” Lila said, popping a just-picked berry into her mouth. “I have a very good feeling about this, Eloise. A very good feeling indeed!”
How to Impress a Gentleman Caller, by Lady Ivy Carlisle
Finding a proper husband is the single most important responsibility of the gentle-bred woman, and one to be undertaken with utmost care and consideration.
Beyond fine manners and etiquette, which are expected in all situations, there are some specific points that warrant additional attention when one interacts with members of the opposite sex.
The following is a list of the most important aspects of meeting eligible men:
Gentlemen prefer the smell of roses to lavender. Consider such when you shall be close enough in proximity for him to catch a gentle whiff of your perfume.
A lady should defer to a gentleman in regard to any decisions, such as whether to walk or ride for an afternoon.
Gentlemen prefer to tell of their exploits and accomplishments rather than listen to those of women beyond some mention of embroidery and watercolor.
A lady should always compliment a man’s horse.
Gentlemen prefer a woman who does not prattle or gossip.
A lady should never share her opinion regarding politics or business, assuming she bothers to have one at all.
Gentlemen prefer a young woman to eat but little, showing consideration toward the preservation of a youthful figure.
A lady should never, under any circumstance, gamble or drink, especially in a gentleman’s presence.