Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
On the drive back to The Ramblings, I kept thinking about Cayla.
She reminded me so much of myself at her age; full of spiralling hormones and the burning, all-encompassing desire to become an actor, intermingled with the creeping doubt that she might not be good enough and the aftermath of the bullying she too had been through.
I thumped the heel of my hand on the top of my steering wheel in frustration.
I hadn’t handled the talk with Cayla at all well.
I’d ended up upsetting her and making her think her mum, Josie Hazelwood and I had been gossiping about her.
The whole point of me chatting to Cayla had been to encourage her to rethink ditching her acting.
Instead I’d made her dig her heels in even more.
I seemed to have a knack for stuffing things up these days. Just look at my own floundering career. Then there was the complication of Evan.
I shoved a stray lock of hair away from my face.
Not that Evan mattered in the long term, I reassured myself. It was just that I’d thought we’d come to some sort of understanding after the Fox incident.
I reached across and clicked on the car radio, which I’d tuned into the local news station, Forrest Bank Today.
As I drove past the shops with their lights twinkling in the late afternoon sunshine, the presenter mentioned the local farmers market taking place at the weekend.
‘And in the meantime, bomb disposal experts are working to finish the sandpit construction in order to be able to safely detonate the two World War Two bombs, which were discovered on Sunday. It’s hoped that this will be completed by the end of the week. ’
I groaned at the radio. The end of the week? All I wanted was to get away from Forrest Bank and The Ramblings and get home to Strath Ross and Grandpa before I caused any more damage.
I needed the familiarity; I needed the rugged hillsides, the scattered farmland and the tranquillity.
I switched on Marlene’s engine again and headed further down the lane, sweeping right into The Ramblings. I admired the way the sun splashed against its windows.
I parked, fetched my bag from the passenger seat and locked up.
I was heading towards the entrance when Evan appeared. It looked like he was heading towards his dad’s car.
He spotted me and drew up. ‘Hi.’
‘Hi.’
His gaze melted over me. ‘You had a good day? Thanks for helping Mum with dropping off those fabrics.’
‘No problem.’ Why did he have to be nice? It was worse when he was nice.
Since Leon, I’d been able to shut down that side of my life; ignore it; push it to one side and make my acting take precedence.
It had taken time and a lot of soul searching, but I’d got there.
At the beginning, I’d thought Leon and I had been destined to be together forever.
I’d devoted so much time and energy to our relationship.
Underneath it all, I’d known it was me who was putting in the lion’s share of the effort and striving to please him rather than myself.
I’d ignored the red flags: Leon’s childish jealousy whenever my acting received a good review; his passive-aggressive comments whenever I was called back for a second audition and he wasn’t.
I swore I’d never repeat that same mistake again, and that relationships and I weren’t compatible.
But now … whenever I saw Evan, or he looked at me, I got all twisted up inside, and it was infuriating. I tried to think about something else or refocus, but I couldn’t untangle myself.
‘What else have you been up to?’ he asked, his T-shirt sleeves rippling in the breeze.
‘Trying to persuade a teenage girl to persist with her acting dreams.’
‘Oh? How did that go?’
‘Don’t ask. Not great.’
Evan’s mouth flipped into a smile. ‘I’m sure you handled it better than you think you did.’
Oh, you’re doing it again, yelled a frustrated voice in my head.
You’re being so nice to me. Just stop right now.
It isn’t helping. It’s making it worse. I pulled an embarrassed face.
‘I tried to make her see that she shouldn’t give up on what she wants to do just because some spiteful, nasty school bully had tried to convince her she was useless.
’ I shook my head in exasperation. ‘And she’s anything but.
She’s terrific. She’s got real potential. ’
Evan held my gaze with a smile. My chest fluttered.
‘Remember what we were like at that age, Daisy. Tell them to do something, and they’ll do the opposite just for the hell of it.’
I got a waft of his delicious, woody aftershave. ‘Off somewhere nice?’
‘Just catching up with an old friend. Won’t be long.’
I clocked Evan’s polished, pointed brogues. He must be all dressed up for Sacha.
I took a couple of involuntary steps backwards, as though doing that would make my festering Evan attraction dissolve in an instant. I wished it would!
God, those dark, bitter eyes of his were lethal.
My stomach did a weird plummet to the floor as he stalked away and then drove off.
It was for the best, keeping Evan at arm’s length. The last thing I should do was start stoking a fire that could very easily and very quickly get out of control. Evan must still have feelings for Sacha, so even if I had been tempted to get closer to him, it was a disaster waiting to happen.
I recalled the scent of his expensive aftershave and what he was wearing. He’d been secretive too about where he was going. He’d said he was off to visit an old friend. Yeah, right. An old friend with blonde, wavy tresses and a self-satisfied smile.
The sensation of his touch on my skin replayed itself.
I picked up speed as I headed into The Ramblings in an attempt to block it out.
‘Hi,’ I called out, as I shut the kitchen door behind me. Everything was pristine but empty. The copper pots and pans shone on their hooks, the marble breakfast bar gleamed and there was just the very faint hum from the huge Smeg fridge-freezer.
I tapped across the polished wooden floor and out into the cool, tiled, sun-spilt hallway.
‘Anyone here?’ I called out, my voice bouncing off the staircase and the opulent vases of dry reeds and flowers.
Hmmm.
Everybody else must’ve gone out.
I decided to go and dump my bag in my room and then take a stroll around the grounds. I’d give Grandpa a call too to see how he was.
At that moment, my phone buzzed in my bag. I fetched it out.
It was from Jade. She’d sent me a selfie. She was pouting at the camera. Her long, candy floss-coloured hair was styled in waves over one shoulder, and she looked dazzling in winged eye makeup and a glittery, slash-necked top.
Hoping to slay Jasper with my knowledge of sonnets and free verse, as well as my mermaid look! Hope all ok with the dashing lord!
Speak soon,
J xx
Jasper didn’t stand a chance tonight. I almost felt sorry for him.
I fired off a reply:
You look stunning! I want all the details – well, not all of them, but you know what I mean.
Lots of love,
D xx
I didn’t make any comment about Evan, but I did add in a purple heart and pressed send.
I plopped my phone back in my bag and started to make my way upstairs, my trainers slapping on the white marble, when I thought I heard faint voices travelling out of the dining room. The door wasn’t quite closed.
I drew up and listened. It sounded like it might be Alison and Bennett. They couldn’t have heard me arrive back.
I turned around on the staircase and tapped back down again and across the hallway to go and say hello. I reached the dining room door and was about to knock when I snatched my hand away again.
They were talking about The Ramblings and its financial situation.
‘We need more income for this place,’ said Alison, her voice carrying a desperate edge.
‘Evan’s monthly contributions are wonderful, but they’re being swallowed up by maintenance bills.
’ I heard her sigh from the depths of her chest and recalled her similar comments to me when I’d accompanied her to the high school.
‘Pity Dane wasn’t as thoughtful as his older brother,’ muttered Bennett.
I felt guilty standing there, but this conversation was firing up my curiosity – and my concern.
I glanced around to make sure there was no one else about.
‘Och, you know how different our boys are, Bennett. Evan would give most folks the shirt off his back if they asked.’
My chest gave a flutter at this hot image.
‘And as for Dane, well, I know he can be self-centred, but if he knew the extent of the issues we’re having to deal with, he’d be concerned.
’ Alison tutted and continued speaking. ‘And he is doing his bit with trying to keep on top of the gardens now that we’ve had to let Freddie go.
I just don’t feel comfortable taking money from Evan,’ Alison carried on.
‘It’s too much, and he has to think about himself.
The cost of living in the London area isn’t cheap. ’
‘I know that,’ agreed Benett on the other side of the door. ‘He’s a good lad.’
‘Yes, he is, but he should be securing his own future.’
I turned over everything as I hovered there.
It was such an altruistic thing for him to do for his family.
Then again, if Dane knew the extent to which The Ramblings was struggling, which it sounded like he didn’t, maybe he’d step up and try to help more, too.
I was sure he would, even if he did tend to give the impression at times that he thought the world should revolve around him.
‘Daisy? What are you doing?’
I leapt at the voice coming from behind me and spun round, guilt riven on my face.
It was Louise.