November 7 #2
He cringed and crossed his arms over his chest. “On the awkward scale of one to ten, where one is accidentally stepping on someone’s toe in an elevator and ten is coming home to find my parents in a BDSM orgy with the neighbors and some midgets…
and gerbils…On that scale, this rates about a thousand. ”
She reached for another tidbit of bacon. “Did that actually happen?”
“No. I’m just trying to describe to you a situation that would be less uncomfortable than this one.”
“Why are you uncomfortable?” For the life of her, she couldn’t understand why he took offense to what she’d said.
It was a compliment. “I’m just stating a fact.
Would you be uncomfortable if I told you the sky is blue?
No, because the sky is blue. You’re hot, Kevin. I don’t understand what the issue is.”
Agitation pressed his lips into a tight line. “What you think of me is an opinion, not a fact. A fact is me telling you that you’re fucking crazy! And seriously annoying.”
“There you go with that grumpiness again,” she shot back. “It’s such a shame. That face is wasted on you.”
“Are you done?” He was already standing. “Can we leave?”
Despite the fact that he was really pissed off, he still met her outside her room and carried her bags to the car. He packed everything into the boot, got into the passenger seat, and slammed the door shut.
“Are you still mad?” she asked as she started the car.
He turned to face her and his angry eyes were boring holes into her. “Seatbelt,” was the only thing he said before facing the window again.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
She strapped on her seatbelt, switched on the GPS, and headed towards the road.
They sat in silence for about twenty minutes and it started becoming unbearable.
The very reason why she’d wanted a companion was because she hadn’t wanted to suffer like this.
His head was against the window and his eyes were closed, but his breathing wasn’t deep enough for her to believe he was actually sleeping.
“You awake?” she asked.
“No.”
“You wanna talk?”
“No.”
“I have a ton of music on my USB. I can put on a few songs and we can sing along like they do in the movies. It is a road trip after all.”
“It’s a fuck no from me for that one.”
They fell back into silence and it was so, soooooooo boring. “Hey, Kevin.”
He didn’t answer.
“You wanna play a game?” She waited a few seconds and when he still didn’t answer, she decided to respond for him. She cleared her throat and put on her best male voice, trying to make it as low as possible to mimic him. “Yeah, sure, Jasmin. That’s a swell idea.”
He didn’t move or open his eyes, but he spoke then. “I would never use the word swell.”
In her normal voice, she said, “How about I-spy?” Fake male voice.
“That’s a dumb game!” Normal voice. “Gosh, Kevin, you are so grumpy.” Fake male voice.
“I’m not grumpy.” Normal voice. “You kinda are.” Fake male voice.
“I’m super-hot so it’s okay. And it’s not grumpiness, it’s my dark and mysterious charm.
” Normal voice. “No, that’s just plain grumpy.
” Fake male voice. “Yeah, I guess. You know what I think it is? I think I’m just intimidated by you because of your gigantic shlong. ”
He chimed in again. “I sure as fuck would never use the word shlong. And you either have penis envy, or a severe identity crisis.”
She ignored the real Kevin and carried on talking to the fake one.
He was much more fun. “Just because mine is huge and yours is just kinda…average, that’s no reason to be intimidated, Kevin.
” Fake male voice. “I don’t believe you, Jasmin.
There is no way someone could be so spectacularly awesome and have a big shlong.
” Normal voice. “Well, believe it. It’s big, Son.
It’s massive. I’m talking extraordinarily massive…
like a rapper. I don’t wanna brag or nothin’, but on windy days I gotta strap it down to my ankle so that it doesn’t fly up and hit someone in the face. ”
He finally opened his powdery blue eyes and looked at her, seemingly more amused than he was this morning when she was hanging on the door handle. His jaw twitched, but he didn’t smile.
“Come on, Kevin. You can do it.” She reached over and gently pinched his cheek. “You’re so close. Just smile.”
There was a flicker of a smirk and for a second—only a second—she saw someone who might actually be likeable. It disappeared just as fast and then he took her hand off his face and placed it back on the steering wheel.
“Hands on the wheel. Eyes on the road.”
And that was the end of that. He closed his eyes again, rested his head against the window, and remained quiet for the rest of the trip.
She didn’t bother him. Instead, she plugged in her USB and sang along with all the songs she knew.
She took in the landscape as they passed through Idaho.
Just like Montana, it had that serene kind of beauty.
God had made it so tranquil in its wide, open splendor that this road was the only urban convenience man had dared to taint it with.
She drove for almost five hours and it was just before one o’ clock when she finally stopped. Her ass and stiff legs were most grateful to have reached their destination.
“We’re here,” she announced chirpily.
Kevin stretched and rubbed his eyes lazily. “Are we stopping for lunch?”
“No. We’re going sightseeing, silly.”
“Where are we?” he asked, looking outside at the unfamiliar surroundings.
“We’re in Salt Lake City.”
“Utah? What the hell are we doing in Utah?” He seemed to be working it out geographically in his mind. “Shouldn’t we be in South Dakota…or Wyoming? Somewhere there?”
“We would, if we took the I-90 East, but we took the I-90 West. We’re not going straight down. We’re going around.”
Somehow she’d manage to piss him off again. “That’s thousands of miles off course, Jasmin! This is something you should have told me before I jumped into the fucking car!”
“You curse a lot…And, you know, you’re seeing this as a bad thing when it’s not. One often meets his destiny on the road he chose to avoid it.”
“Did you…” His eyes shut for a few seconds. He was seething, virtually foaming at the mouth. “Did you just quote Kung-Fu Panda to me?”
“I didn’t know you watched it. I…I thought it sounded kind of wise…
and mystical.” Her attempt to calm him down had obviously backfired so she decided to be more serious.
“I was trying to avoid the snow. If we went the other way, we would have gotten delayed by snow anyway…I think, but I read that Arizona, New Mexico, Texas—they don’t get snow.
This route may be longer, but for someone who has never even seen snow, it’s safer.
And for you, less snow means less delays. ”
“It’s November. There wouldn’t be any snow.”
That sort of stumped her. “Well, how was I supposed to know that?”
He took a deep breath, sat back and placed his clasped hands over his forehead. He was calmer, but still annoyed. “But now you wanna go sightseeing. That’s a delay.”
“Kevin,” she said softly, “this is the first time I’ve ever done anything on my own.
This is the first time I’ve ever felt like I was living my own life.
I want to see everything. We skipped Idaho, but I want to explore every other state we go through.
I didn’t tell you because I thought it was obvious.
Who goes on a road trip and doesn’t take the time to experience what’s around them? ”
Wariness and uncertainty played on his face. “How long are you expecting this trip to take?”
“Three, maybe four weeks.”
“Weeks?” he choked out. “Three to four weeks?! Fuck, Jazz!”
She didn’t know when her name had gone from Jasmintha to Jasmin to Jazz, but now wasn’t the time to bring it up. “Are you in a rush? Do you need to be there by a specific date?”
“No.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I got a girl waiting for me at home. I told her I’d be back in a couple days.”
Oh. So he had a girlfriend. It was something she hadn’t thought of when she was groping his biceps earlier. But it was only for a few seconds. Completely forgivable.
“And I’m on a tight budget, Jazz.”
“So maybe later we can sit down, look at both our finances and plan this thing properly. Okay?”
An irritable groan rumbled in his throat. “I just want to get to Florida! Is that so hard to understand?”
“Look,” she began with a heavy sigh, “let’s put this down as a case of miscommunication.
Now we can fight about it, or accept it.
Either way, it doesn’t change the fact that we are in Utah right now and I’m going to explore.
You can sit here and sulk in the car, or you can come with me.
That’s up to you. I have been restricted my whole life and I’m tired of being dictated to.
I am certainly not going to let you or anyone else tell me what I can and can’t do on this road trip.
I’m willing to help you, Kevin, really I am, but on my terms. You won’t talk to me, so I can’t empathize with your situation, but you can empathize with mine.
I don’t expect you to understand. Heck, I don’t even expect you to be nice to me, but for goodness sakes, can I just have a little fun without you trying to ruin it? ”
There was silence for a long time and he just stared at her. He didn’t seem angry anymore. In fact, he seemed to be giving quite a bit of thought to what she’d said and, in a way, he did empathize.
“Are you coming or not?” she asked, opening her door.
“Quit nagging. I’m coming.” He got out and looked up at the sign on the building in front of them. “The Leonardo Museum? This is your idea of fun?”
“To each their own,” she replied with a shrug.
They stepped onto the sidewalk and he stopped for a second, glancing back at the car. “I didn’t know you were part of the club.”
“What club?”
“The you park like a douche club.”