Chapter twelve
Amber gripped Spencer’s hand as they stood outside the clubhouse. The sensors on the drive had alerted them to Clara and Adrian’s arrival. And her baby’s.
“I think I’m going to throw up,” she said.
Keeping their hands clasped, Spencer curled his arms around her, pulling her against him, surrounding her with his warmth. “Breathe,” he said. She did. “Again.” The medium-sized camper came into view. “I’ve got you,” he continued. “We all do.”
The camper pulled to a stop, and she’d swear her heart did the same before galloping ahead. Anchoring herself in Spencer’s arms, she stared through the windshield.
She’d never met Adrian, presumably the darker-haired woman in the passenger seat, so she focused on the older woman and her wild gray hair visible through the windshield.
She studied her face, warped through the glass, but picked out the familiar shape of her nose and the curve of her chin.
It really was Clara. They really were here.
“Thank you,” she said quietly.
“For?”
“For just being here, for not trying to make this anything other than what it is. For allowing it to be what it is. Hard.” She paused, then added, “Hard, but good.”
He squeezed her hand as Clara opened the driver’s door and Adrian slipped out of her seat and into the back.
Her stomach threatened to revolt when she realized the woman was probably collecting her daughter from her car seat.
Idly, she wondered where a car seat fit in a camper, but Clara landing on her feet in the gravel drive pulled her back to the moment.
Clara’s eyes dipped to where Spencer’s arm came around her, but Amber couldn’t step away. She needed his strength right now. And if she wasn’t mistaken, a pleased look flashed through the older woman’s dark eyes.
“You look good, Amber,” Clara said, walking toward her.
Amber managed a wobbly smile. “Not living with Anthony will do that.”
Clara stopped in front of her. With at least eight inches on her, Amber looked down at the wiry woman, taking in her flowing linen skirt, long tunic, and strings of beautiful beads hanging from her neck.
Amber didn’t miss Clara’s sweeping assessment. When their gazes met again, Clara reached out and set a hand on her shoulder. “You don’t know how glad I am to see you, angel. Your little girl needs you. We need you.”
Amber tried to keep the tears from falling but failed miserably. And when Clara opened her arms, she let go of Spencer and stepped into them. Thin but strong limbs wrapped around her; a maternal warmth and strength she hadn’t felt in ages, if ever, washed through her.
In the recesses of her mind, everything fell into place.
Even if just for that moment, she believed everything would be all right.
She believed that she was strong enough to wade through the seconds, hours, days, weeks, and months ahead.
She believed that one day, one day soon, she’d be the mother she hoped she’d be from the moment she’d found out she was pregnant.
The creaking of the door shattered that peace, shooting through her like a lance, and she jerked upright. Adrian’s foot landed on the first step and then, before Amber could take a breath, she saw her daughter. Her legs shook, and Spencer’s arm came around her again as Clara took her hand.
“We named her Zoe. It means alive,” Clara said as Amber drank in the sight of her little girl.
Propped on Adrian’s hip, she rested her head on Adrian’s shoulder, and in her hand, she carried a floppy teddy bear.
Tiny sandals covered her feet, and a pair of perfectly chubby little legs stuck out from beneath her gray shorts.
A yellow T-shirt set off her mop of curly brown hair. Dark eyes, like hers, stared back.
A mass of emotions swirled inside her like a wind trying to form a tornado, but Amber refused to let it destroy her. Or destroy this moment. As Daphne had said, her baby was alive. Alive!
Terrified, anxious, and filled with yearning, she held still, letting Adrian approach them.
When the woman stopped in front of them and Zoe peeked up at her through thick black lashes, an unexpected calm rippled through Amber.
This moment was fraught, no way around that, but Zoe was a child.
Of all of them, she would understand the importance of it the least. And was the one they needed to protect the most. Her daughter needed her to be strong, needed her to make this meeting, this transition, as smooth as possible.
Amber would deal with her turmoil on her own time.
Right now, it was all about making this feel safe for Zoe.
“Hi, Zoe,” she said, dipping her head to look in the little girl’s eyes.
“Zoe, this is Mama,” Adrian said. The words nearly ripped the breath from Amber’s lungs, and her gaze shot to Adrian’s.
“We had a picture of you from that Christmas House stroll fundraiser the neighborhood did five years ago. She doesn’t really understand what it means, because all she’s known is us, but we’ve made sure she saw your face and knew you were Mama.”
Amber choked back a sob. She didn’t know what she’d done to deserve these two women, but she’d never be able to thank them enough. “And who’s this?” she asked Zoe, pointing to Adrian.
Big brown eyes regarded her with interest. Then a single tiny finger uncurled from the bear and tapped Adrian’s chest. “Dee.” Then the finger swung around to Clara. “Nana.”
Amber smiled through her tears. “That’s Nana?” Zoe nodded against Adrian’s shoulder.
“Clara is hard to say. Plus, it made it easier if people thought I was her grandmother when I took her out,” Clara said, as if she needed an excuse for co-opting the moniker.
“As far as I’m concerned, it’s the perfect name,” Amber said, her attention still locked on her daughter. “Do you want to go inside and have a snack?”
“Nack,” Zoe said. Then to Amber’s shock, she twisted her body and held her arms out to her. “Mama,” she said.
Again, Amber’s eyes flew to Adrian’s. “We didn’t know much about you, but we tried to talk about you a lot. She knows you through our stories,” Adrian said.
Amber gave a shaky nod, all she seemed able to do, and raised her arms. Zoe leaned forward, and Amber slipped her hands underneath her, lifting her from Adrian’s shoulder.
For just a second, she froze, the moment overwhelming her.
Then she pulled the warm little body against her chest and hugged her, burying her cheek against Zoe’s shoulder and inhaling her sweet scent.
She felt tiny fingers playing with her hair and patting her back as she held her baby for the first time, the flutter of Zoe’s heartbeat strong through her T-shirt.
The breeze rustled the trees, Zoe’s feet swung at Amber’s sides, somewhere a bird called out.
A span of seconds both so big and so tiny. One she’d never, ever forget.
“Nack!” Zoe said, doing a little bounce in her arms.
A watery laugh escaped Amber’s chest. “You want a snack, do you?” she asked, leaning back. Zoe’s eyes met hers, comically serious, and she nodded.
“Then let’s go in and get a snack,” Spencer said.
Amber looked over at him. His familiar smile sent a rush of warmth through her, although she hadn’t expected to see the moisture in his eyes.
She glanced around at everyone standing with her to see most either dabbing their eyes or blinking them. Her family.
“Yes, let’s go get a snack,” she said, her heart lighter than it had been in years.
“Do we need to call local law enforcement?” Amber heard Mantis ask Clara as the group trailed into the clubhouse. Adrian followed a few steps behind her and Spencer. By design or circumstance, Amber didn’t know.
“They trustworthy?” Clara asked.
“They are. But if you’re not comfortable with that yet, my brother-in-law works for one of the best private security companies in the world.
They’re the ones that helped us find you,” he replied.
Whatever they said next, whatever they decided, was lost to Amber as Zoe wiggled in her arms to be put down.
“Daphne got all sorts of baby-proofing stuff, too,” Spencer said. “While you two were doing laundry, we checked all the sockets, sharp corners, things like that. It’s safe to put her down. If you want to,” he added.
She didn’t, but she also didn’t want to frighten Zoe by holding on to her. Carefully, she lowered herself and set Zoe’s tiny feet on the ground, holding on until she was steady. Then unsure what to do next, she cast Adrian a frantic look.
Adrian smiled but didn’t come forward. “Walking is new to her. She just started two weeks ago. I have the video. I’ll show you later. Just stay close and if she needs help, she’ll grab on to your pant leg.” She chuckled. “Or plop down on her diaper butt.”
Amber shuffled after her daughter as Zoe explored the room.
In the background, she heard Mantis, Clara, and the others making plans.
Vaguely, she understood they agreed to call both Ryan Warwick, the chief of police, and Leo.
Why they decided on that approach, Amber didn’t know, or even care.
For now, she couldn’t take her eyes—or her attention—off Zoe.
She’d grown this tiny human in her body.
She’d loved her from the moment she first heard her heartbeat.
Protected her in the only way she’d known how.
She thought she’d lost her, lost any chance of a future together.
And now here she was toddling around the room, testing light sockets and finding every bit of hair from Sherman, Stone and Juliana’s dog, that managed to escape the vacuum.
By the time Leo and Ryan arrived, she sat on the floor, her back to the couch, Zoe on her lap, reading a book Daphne had brought. Her daughter leaned forward to stare at the newcomers, then quickly returned to the board book in Amber’s hand.
They read a few more pages as everyone settled, both Ryan and Leo squatting down to say a quick hello to Zoe.
The others had done the same while Zoe had explored.
Each stopping by one at a time, to introduce themselves and either asking her a question or pointing out something quirky in the room as they did.
Her heart ached with love for this group of people she’d found—so gentle yet so strong.
When everyone found their seats, Spencer on the couch next to where she sat on the floor, his leg warm against her side, Ryan cleared his throat.
“None of us can even begin to guess what’s going on, or what happened the night Zoe was born,” he said. “Adrian, Clara, who wants to shed some light on it for us?”